No more cheek turning!

[Jennasis]

If you recall my thread a few days ago about when to stop turning the other cheek...I am happy to report that there will be no further turning of any cheeks. The hammer was brought down this morning, by DH to his lunatic mother. He was calm...matter-of-fact...never raised his voice...but he unloaded both barrels on her after a day and ahalf of more unbelievable behavior from her and then dropped the atomic bomb (in the form of "You are a mean, nasty woman and you will wind up alone, with nobody left, because your nastiness has driven everyone away...You are exactly like grandma." (note, his grandmother, may she rest in peace, was a nasty and mean woman of epic proportions).

Naturally she got nasty, went after me verbally to him (which he shot her down immediately), and then he ended it.

I'm proud of DH for handling his mother this way. It's been a long time coming and I know there is a part of him that is very sad about having to lay the smack down, but he is also relieved and at peace with it too.

So we are done with her and her drama. I suspect we'll get a call sometime today or tomorrow about how she's having a heart attack and needs us to drive her to the ER...but we'll just dial 911 and let them handle it.

Peace out, MIL...we're done.

 

[Goofyluver]

I couldn't find a hi-five smiley, so there ya' go!

 

[SaraJayne]

 

[LuvOrlando]

YAY for your DH, but try to allow him some grace if over time his heart softens. No matter how crazy family is it is extraordinarily painful to cut them out for good and with Mother's Day being next week... well things can be a lot harder for you husband than he'll let you know.

No matter what happens now she knows and you know that when it came down to it, your DH put her in her place. Jennasis' Hubby

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[Disney Doll]

Go gently on your DH because even though he did what may have been needed to be done, it still might be upsetting/painful/hurtful/sad for him.

 

[Jennasis]

Go gently on your DH because even though he did what may have been needed to be done, it still might be upsetting/painful/hurtful/sad for him.

Agreed. No gloating or such to him (just here). As I said, I know he feels badly about having to make a stand, but he knows it had to be done.

 

[Planogirl]

Good for your hubby!

I do agree with the others that he might feel a bit hurt right now. Also, leave that door cracked just a bit in case she changes her tune. It does happen.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Good for your dh. I can relate to how you feel, my own dh did this with his wacko mother 19 years ago next month. There have for sure been many, many moments where he has had feelings of "why did this have to happen" but in the end, he is at peace with his decision. Which in my opinion was made by her behavior more than anything else.

Too funny, my mil used to pull the heart attack thing (apparently she now goes around pretending to be blind to keep his brothers beholden to her needs but everyone knows its faking and in fact have witnessed her watching tv when she thinks nobody is around). Its pathetic the lengths some people will go to in order to get what they want.

He (my dh) did leave the door open and in fact even tried to send her some photos of our kids (that she has never one time met in spite of knowing we had two after the split) but she never would come around. She went so far as to tell some people my husband, her own child, had died. Imagine the surprise of one of the people she told this to when she saw us at a bookstore one day and there he was alive and well! Stuff like that still comes up from time to time and on one hand makes him sad that she's so insane but also reinforces he did the right thing.

I hope your dh comes out of this all right, its heartbreaking in spite of the relief.

 

[Bob NC]

Nobody who takes this much delight in drama is ever going to live drama-free.

 

[Jennasis]

5:30pm and no weeping phone call that she needs to go to the ER. This means she's angry at his audacity to confront her. Anytime she is "wrong" she goes for sympathy instead of an apology...like claiming she's sick, injured, had an abusive childhood etc.

So, I'm going to bake him his favorite cookies, and rub his shoulders while we watch "Black Swan" on netflix tonight. It's been that kind of day.

 

[Jessica14]

This same thing just happened with my DH and MIL. She has periodically disowned him throughout the almost twenty years I have known him and he pretty much just did the same thing to her as the OP's DH.

MIL and FIL were driving from FL to NY and he had a stroke in GA. So, she drives him back 7 hours to FL. No one can figure it out. My DH went down there and after being "nice" for two days, he layed into her for her actions and she told him to get out of her house. He was fine with that and says he's done. But I agree with someof the other posters, that time will tell if that "sticks" or not. I really hope it does as she is so mean to our whole family. Good for your DH, OP!
Jessica

 

[LuvOrlando]

Wha Wha What??

 

[Swan4Me]

So, I'm going to bake him his favorite cookies, and rub his shoulders while we watch "Black Swan" on netflix tonight. It's been that kind of day.

I will be brutally honest-i can not imagine any straight guy watching that movie

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dh would rather stick forks in his eyes than watch Black Swan.

I have Black Swan and The King's Speech, hopefully coming tomorrow in Netflix.

 

[Jennasis]

I will be brutally honest-i can not imagine any straight guy watching that movie

Which is why he picked The Fighter instead. (Black Swan was part of our "Oscar-movies-we-missed marathon. Did The King's Speech yesterday and Social Network on Friday). To be "brutally honest" DH's interest in Black Swan was completely motivated by the things he heard happen in the movie between the leading ladies.

 

[frijolefrito]

I will be brutally honest-i can not imagine any straight guy watching that movie

I'm a straight guy I watched it. It's a thriller and it has really steamy naughty scenes in it. I'm also 100% man baby.

 

[MissElizabeth]

I will be brutally honest-i can not imagine any straight guy watching that movie

When I went to see it there were about 15 college age guys in the theatre sitting in a row waiting for the girl-on-girl scene So I can attest that straight guys will watch that movie. When I was on my wait out, I heard one saying to the other, "Man, that was such a crock o' [bleep], it was, like, three minutes and the rest of it sucked" to which the other guy replied in a sympathetic tone, "Dude."

 

[rodeo65]

Great for your DH (and you) that you have peace ahead. My DH did likewise eight years ago but was not completely at peace with it. He felt guilty, as time went on, that they were not seeing our children so he tried again to allow them back into our lives.

Her "good behaviour" lasted about an hour into the first visit he had (alone) with them. She started in on me again and he realized that nothing would ever change. We had three or four visits over the next year and a half with so much drama that he was finally able to say goodbye knowing he was comfortable with his decision.

I've told him that I completely understand how hard it must be for him to take that stance and that if he ever feels the need to "try again" that I would back him and be polite with them. But I really hope it never happens. So far in a year and a half since last contact he has not developed any guilty feelings.

 

[DWGal210]

How did I miss this thread?! I'm so glad for you!!!