I have no problems with going to an adult only wedding ( heck I enjoy the night out). My problem lies with an adult only family wedding or destination wedding. And that is a because of the childcare issue. I went to a wedding shower yesterday were my daughter wasnt invited. Hubby had to cancel his plans to watch her because I couldnt get a sitter because my mil was busy and my mother and sister were going to the shower. When we got there there were a bunch of kids. If I known other kids were going to be there I would have brought her.
She just turned 3 and she has been to at least 6 weddings, mainly family ones. She was invited to my best friends wedding but since I was the MOH I chose to leave her with my mil ( because my family was invited) because I knew I would be busy) but she did end up coming at the end of the reception. the only reason I would turn down an adult only reception is if I couldnt get a sitter.
That being said I had 25 kids (under 12) at my wedding. I had 2 5 year old as my flower girl and ringbearer. I had the RB brothers and a family friend's daughter bring up the gifts. I had 3 others pass out the programs. I had special favors for the kids that was a chinese take-out boxes filled with juice boxes, crackers, fruit snacks, small deck of cards,crayons, coloring books and small toys. The kids loved them and played with them for hours. I also had the dj plays some kids songs and they all got to "taste the cake" ( I small corner, that got thrown away). I cant imagine not having kids at my wedding but I have no problems with others not having them at theirs but they cant get upset if we cant go because of it especially a wedding miles away from home..