KiminChicago
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 19, 1999
- Messages
- 926
First a little background: My parents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary next month. My youngest sister wanted to throw a huge party with over 100 guests and a catered sit-down dinner but my brother is currently looking for a job, our middle sister is getting ready to send her daughter off to college and DH and I couldn't afford that kind of party in this economy either. So we decided that a dinner in a nice restaurant with the 18 of us (mom, dad, we 4 siblings and our families) would almost be a party in itself. I'm the oldest so someow I was the one delegated to make the arrangements.
Then I get a call from DH's parents. They are looking for ideas for a wedding present for my parents, since my parents attended the in-laws 50th last year. Since they're going to so much trouble, I ask my mom if it would be ok to include them in the dinner (now up to 20 guests). I call the restaurant that my youngest sister really wanted for the dinner and hurray, they can accomodate up to 24 people in an area at the back of the restaurant with large windows opening up onto a forest preserve and we can bring our own cake, balloons and flowers for the table.
I call middle sister and let her know what I've reserved. She volunteers to order the flowers. I let her know that I'm planning on getting a pair of champagne flutes engraved with our parents' names and wedding date for a toast at the dinner. She thinks this is a great idea and wants in on it and suggests that since my in-laws are coming, I should also call our brother and suggest that his in-laws be invited since his MIL and our mom are such good friends (guest list is now at a possible 22).
Then I call youngest sister in Michigan to let her know what's going on. This is when everything starts to go south. First I get an earful about how this is sounding a whole lot bigger than just dinner out with our parents, what with a cake and flowers and all. Then I get a second earful about how her DH wasn't going to come, but if we're having all these in-laws too, she's going to make her DH show up because otherwise it would look bad. And how could I include all the other in-laws and not hers. I tell her that her in-laws are more than welcome too if she thinks they want to come in from Michigan (her MIL is suffering from dementia and her FIL has heart problems and isn't in the best of health right now). Since we aren't sending out formal invitations, it didn't matter to me if she does or doesn't say anything to them. I explained how it happened that my in-laws and our brother's in-laws were invited -- it wasn't exactly planned that way.
Finally, the last straw. Middle sister calls me today to tell me that I shouldn't get the champagne flutes because mom and dad are planning on getting rid of all their knick knacks and the flutes would just be something more for them to dispose of. And she's decided that getting flowers to the restaurant is more work and more money than she wants to deal with so maybe we should just skip that too. Mind you, this is the same sister who didn't speak to me all Christmas day because she and I had both decided to get digital picture frames for our parents for Christmas and I had the "nerve", as she put it, to actually load some pictures into the frame (including one of all of the grandchildren, even her kids). Then she tells me how she thinks my in-laws shouldn't have been included before our brother's in-laws since my mom is much closer friends with brother's MIL than mine.
At this point I'm just tempted to call the whole thing off except that my parents don't deserve that. But I'll probably end up ordering and paying for the flowers and the cake all by myself.
Sorry this is so long but thanks for letting me vent!
Then I get a call from DH's parents. They are looking for ideas for a wedding present for my parents, since my parents attended the in-laws 50th last year. Since they're going to so much trouble, I ask my mom if it would be ok to include them in the dinner (now up to 20 guests). I call the restaurant that my youngest sister really wanted for the dinner and hurray, they can accomodate up to 24 people in an area at the back of the restaurant with large windows opening up onto a forest preserve and we can bring our own cake, balloons and flowers for the table.
I call middle sister and let her know what I've reserved. She volunteers to order the flowers. I let her know that I'm planning on getting a pair of champagne flutes engraved with our parents' names and wedding date for a toast at the dinner. She thinks this is a great idea and wants in on it and suggests that since my in-laws are coming, I should also call our brother and suggest that his in-laws be invited since his MIL and our mom are such good friends (guest list is now at a possible 22).
Then I call youngest sister in Michigan to let her know what's going on. This is when everything starts to go south. First I get an earful about how this is sounding a whole lot bigger than just dinner out with our parents, what with a cake and flowers and all. Then I get a second earful about how her DH wasn't going to come, but if we're having all these in-laws too, she's going to make her DH show up because otherwise it would look bad. And how could I include all the other in-laws and not hers. I tell her that her in-laws are more than welcome too if she thinks they want to come in from Michigan (her MIL is suffering from dementia and her FIL has heart problems and isn't in the best of health right now). Since we aren't sending out formal invitations, it didn't matter to me if she does or doesn't say anything to them. I explained how it happened that my in-laws and our brother's in-laws were invited -- it wasn't exactly planned that way.
Finally, the last straw. Middle sister calls me today to tell me that I shouldn't get the champagne flutes because mom and dad are planning on getting rid of all their knick knacks and the flutes would just be something more for them to dispose of. And she's decided that getting flowers to the restaurant is more work and more money than she wants to deal with so maybe we should just skip that too. Mind you, this is the same sister who didn't speak to me all Christmas day because she and I had both decided to get digital picture frames for our parents for Christmas and I had the "nerve", as she put it, to actually load some pictures into the frame (including one of all of the grandchildren, even her kids). Then she tells me how she thinks my in-laws shouldn't have been included before our brother's in-laws since my mom is much closer friends with brother's MIL than mine.
At this point I'm just tempted to call the whole thing off except that my parents don't deserve that. But I'll probably end up ordering and paying for the flowers and the cake all by myself.
Sorry this is so long but thanks for letting me vent!