"No Gifts Please" Does it really mean that?

[Wish Upon A Star]

DH and I are invited to my uncle and aunt's 50th wedding anniversary . . .its a brunch at a restaurant and its a surprise . . .the invitation states "no gifts please".

My parents asked what I was going to get for them . . . I guess it would look funny if I didn't?

So, I'm at a loss, do I or don't I buy a gift?

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

Don't.

But if you can do something memorable and personal (photo collage etc...)instead that would be good. Or a donation to a cause they support.

 

[bicker]

I agree. Respect the guests-of-honor's wishes. After 50 years of marriage, they deserve at least that much!

 

[JerseyJanice]

When you get your answer, let me know because I'm faced with the same dilemma at the moment.

We are invited my husband's widowed uncle's second wedding in mid-May. We are very happy about this marriage; Uncle lost his wife tragically and then his daughter, so it's great to see him get some happiness for a change.

The invitation states, "The pleasure of your presence at this happy event in our lives will be your gift to us."

This being a second marriage for both bride and groom, I can see why they wouldn't expect gifts, but I don't feel right about not marking the occassion with a small gift. Worse, I'll feel terrible if we're the only ones who listen to the invitation and show up empty-handed while everyone else brings a gift.

I'm going to ask around and see what the other invitees are doing. I think I'd like to give them some kind of housewarming gift like a vase or platter or something like that.

 

[pearlieq]

If they say it, I'm going to trust them to mean it. They've been married for 50 years--I'm sure they have all the "stuff" they'll ever need!

I'd just bring a card and lots of good wishes.

 

[Hannathy]

I agree please follow there wishes. Don't forget at their age they may have already downsized to an apartment or smaller house or may have to in the near future why add to that problem. Take a card write a happy memory from sometime in your life with them or a picture from a holiday or picnic etc in the past. If your Mom is really pressuring you donate a book in their name to the library or church.

 

[scraptoons]

In this neck of the woods it means:

Adult's party - No gifts, we just wanna have fun . But if it's someone that is very special to me, I give a handwritten sentiment in a card.

Child's party - How thoughtful! You know you didn't have to do that. . I know "child" will love it!

 

[disykat]

Follow their wishes! If you absolutely have to get them something - do it at a different time.

Showing up with a gift makes all the people who followed their wishes feel like heels and is the height of rudeness IMO. It puts the couple on the receiving end on the spot as well. I'm sure they want ALL their guests to feel comfortable. Instead they end up being forced to gush over gifts they didn't want, knowing that they might be making their other guests feel bad.

 

[epcotfan]

I hate when people write, "no gifts" and then everyone brings a gift. At my friend's daughter's baptism she told me, "no gifts" I went ahead and bought a couple of small things just in case. When I got there EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE had brought something nice, REALLY NICE. It was lucky I didn't show up empty handed or I would have looked like an idiot.

 

[mtemm]

I would bring a bottle of champagne or a gift card to a favorite restaurant...I would not bring a traditional gift. most likely they have enough stuff.

 

[CarolG]

I would bring a bottle of champagne or a gift card to a favorite restaurant...I would not bring a traditional gift. most likely they have enough stuff.

I like this idea! Photographs are a good idea, too.

After 50 years together, they're probably trying to eliminate clutter instead of adding to it. My parents got all sorts of 50th anniversary mementos, and then had to find a place for them. And then my brother and I had to figure out what to do with them after my mother passed away.

 

[chris1gill]

Personallly, I cannot believe people don't follow the invitations request! I can totally understand why older adults REALLY do not need a gift... they have everthing they need....

However, if you wanted to give them something, how about a card with an enclosed gift certificate to their favorite restaurant or a donation to the charity of their liking...

 

[aprilgail2]

I usually bring a card with a gift card in it even if it says no gifts...I felt really stupid going to a party with no gift even though it said "no gifts please" and saw a table full of gifts there and I didn't have one! I would bring the gift card seperate and then if I saw gifts I would stick it in the envelope! We wrote No Gifts Please onthe invites to my moms 70th birthday party and even with that there every single person brought a gift....even those that declined the invite sent gifts!

 

[mickeyfan2]

DH and I are invited to my uncle and aunt's 50th wedding anniversary . . .its a brunch at a restaurant and its a surprise . . .the invitation states "no gifts please".

My parents asked what I was going to get for them . . . I guess it would look funny if I didn't?

So, I'm at a loss, do I or don't I buy a gift?

We went to my Aunt and Uncle's 50th last year. There was a "no gifts please" on the invite and everybody brought a gift. We gave them a basket filled with $50 of coins and a slots tips book. They like to go to casinos. They really liked it and went to the casino about a month later.

 

[TDC Nala]

I'm not into trying to read cross-messages into what people say they want. If they say "no gifts" I, personally, would not bring a gift. A card might be nice, or something edible, or wine if they like it.

 

[mommytotwo]

Here in Hawaii, we give gifts, but also leis. Do you think the couple may enjoy a lei?