Newly single mom-still going to WDW need advice!

[clorenzen]

My husband of 10 years decided he wants a divorce. Completely a one-sided thing. He told me last Friday and now we are trying to get things moving to split things up, move out, etc. Weirdest thing of all, 16 days earlier, he told me to book airfare for our "family" vacation in Sep. Our 3 year old daughter is excited about going to WDW and I'm not going to let his selfishness take that away from her. But then, oh my goodness, we haven't even figured out the finances or where we will each live or anything like that. Can I really still make this vacation happen and how can it be fun when it is no longer a family vacation? We won't be able to do rider swaps and I dread traveling alone with a toddler. But then again, it's such a magical age that I don't think I should have to give this up.

 

[Wendy5055]

Awwwwww... Why don't you let the things settle before making any more decisions. I think you still have time to cancel/make changes without a penalty if you need to (if you made a deposit already).

You will need to settle a few things before you can decide about keeping the vacation (or perhaps shortening it). Give yourself a couple of weeks to see where things are going (you may need even more time). Don't stress out about something like a vacation right now...it is the last thing you need to worry about!!

Life does not happen neatly, it is often messy and has bad timing. That was one thing I learned.

Stay strong & calm...you will see things more clearly. As always, the people on the disboards are very supportive and have great perspectives on things!!!

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Can I really still make this vacation happen and how can it be fun when it is no longer a family vacation? We won't be able to do rider swaps and I dread traveling alone with a toddler. But then again, it's such a magical age that I don't think I should have to give this up.

YES, YES, YES!

Please go ahead and do this for yourself and your DD. I went alone last year with my DD. We were there for 4 nights and in the parks for 3 days. DD was 3 1/2. We had a BLAST! We're going back in September for 8 days. This time I'm traveling with another single parent friend and his 2 kids so I won't be totally by myself. We're staying at the same resort and have a few meals planned together, and a few days that we will be in the same parks, but we also have a lot of time scheduled for each of us to just be with our own kids.

I'd recommend that you look into hiring a sitter from Kid's Night Out or the Fairy Godmothers so you could go to the parks on your own at least one night and maybe ride some of the "big" rides.

When are you scheduled to be there?

 

[TheLittleRoo]

Oh sweetie, that is going to be a challenge to put on your game face and share a vacation in the midst of a divorce settlement.

The first thing that came to my mind if I were in your shoes, is to have support for yourself. How about inviting your mom or a sister? They could be there for you, and also enjoy seeing your DD enjoy WDW. You would surely have two rooms anyway, so it's not as if your "H" expects you two to share a room. I hope...???

As an added benefit, he can't be too mean or snarky to you in front of another family member so it may keep him civil at a minimum. For you, you get someone other than him to walk along with and talk to. Divorce doesn't have to mean things get ugly and break down in communication, but I'd say 4 months into the discussions about living arrangements, custody, child support - -it could be fairly rancorous in September.

Is that feasible for you to take a family member or a friend?

 

[clorenzen]

I guess I should be clear. . .my future ex-husband will not be coming. And I don't really have anyone else to go with. We had planned to go in Sep during free dining. Plane tickets are already purchased. ADRs are made. I just really don't think I should have to suffer for his selfishness. Why can't I still have my vacation and the vacation our DD has been looking forward to? But is it realistic?

 

[Christine9125]

I think it would be fair for you to go. I think you could still have alot of fun, and probably more fun, with just your daughter. But as stated in the above post, give your self some time to adjust to the changes in your life, but then you will need a break and what better break can you think of then Disney. If it is the money you are worried about, is it possible to look into a different resort? Atleast your meals are taken care of.

 

[TinkerbellBlue]

I have always been a single mom and loved taking my dd to WDW. One big plus is not having to drive around alone with a toddler. We always stayed at one of the All Stars and took the bus. It gave me real piece of mind that I was not ever alone. My first trip with dd I had a garage sale to earn my spending money for the trip. I would not cancel unless it is just not afordable at all.
You could always pay off the trip now with a credit card that will be his to pay off.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I guess I should be clear. . .my future ex-husband will not be coming. And I don't really have anyone else to go with. We had planned to go in Sep during free dining. Plane tickets are already purchased. ADRs are made. I just really don't think I should have to suffer for his selfishness. Why can't I still have my vacation and the vacation our DD has been looking forward to? But is it realistic?

I am sorry you are dealing with this. I definetely think this trip is realistic. She is 3. It will be a breeze and you will have such a great time! Don't stress about traveling alone. You only need about 1/2 of what you think you do and your DD isn't really a toddler. She is more of a pre-schooler so she will be fine. It's really no different than spending the day with her except there are no errands or chores to be done! Go and have a ball! Again- I am so sorry about your situation.

 

[LAH LAH]

Just from the "my husband of 10 years decided he wanted a divorce"/one sided part I wanted to add some encouragement. I was in your shoes 3 years ago and I guarentee you life can and will go on!

You can do this trip!!! Take this time to get away...enjoy your daughter...have the trip of a lifetime...

I promise you it does get easier!!!

 

[lilybrooke14]

I'm so sorry that you and your daughter are going through this tough time just now.

On the bright side, by Sep. a nice princess trip could be great for a little cheering up. I'd just try to make it a point to change your outlook from a "family" vacation to a lovely Mommy and daughter princess vacation. Wear princess ears, eat with the princesses, buy princess pajamas, have ice cream for dinner and let Disney World through the eyes of your baby girl heal some of the hurt that you guys are going through now.

I know it can't fix what's going on, but it can be a bright spot on the horizon for the two of you.

 

[marvali]

Awwwwww... Why don't you let the things settle before making any more decisions. I think you still have time to cancel/make changes without a penalty if you need to (if you made a deposit already).

You will need to settle a few things before you can decide about keeping the vacation (or perhaps shortening it). Give yourself a couple of weeks to see where things are going (you may need even more time). Don't stress out about something like a vacation right now...it is the last thing you need to worry about!!

Life does not happen neatly, it is often messy and has bad timing. That was one thing I learned.

Stay strong & calm...you will see things more clearly. As always, the people on the disboards are very supportive and have great perspectives on things!!!

Good advice Wendy.

There is still plenty of time to see how this will all play out before having to make too many final decisions. Explore all options before giving up on your trip. You should be able to figure it all out by then, and this trip with your DD will probably be just what you need by then. Hope it all works out and you have a great time.

 

[iheartdisney]

It is totally doable, and totally realistic!
I've taken my kids to Disneyland all the time. Starting at 3 and 2. I don't let DH's deployments stop us from having a good time! Make sure to take lots and lots (and lots and lots) of pictures. Don't be shy about asking CMs to ake pics of you together. Your DD will flip through them endlessly for years to come (trust me!)
And if you want some adult company, there will be no shortage of Dis-ers at WDW for free dining! Meet-ups are always fun!

 

[2dogmom]

First, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I was in your shoes a few years ago. We tried a May family trip to rekindle things, and that didn't work. I planned a long weekend in Dec and told him he could come if he wanted to work on our marriage, and he didn't so I took my girls, then 5 and 3 and had a blast. A friend came with her 5 and 2yo too and it was hectic, but we survived. Since that trip, we never stopped going and have had so many wonderful trips already. My experience is that my girls have behaved BETTER at wdw than at home.

 

[JOLAROCHE]

Go on your vacation. Do the things your daughter can do. Which will be almost everything excpect the roller coaster thrill rides. You will still have a lot to do. Do some character breakfasts they are great for you and you DD. The 1st time my son was only 14 months and we still had a ball.. He was 4 on his 2nd trip and was even more fun. Bring an umbrella stroller with you my son did not want me to but we made a deal He could sit anytime he wanted to but would not be tied in. He sat alot. We put a backpack on the back of it and we were good to go. Where are you staying? if on the monorail even better to get back and fourth from with a little one but if no the buses are great also Go back each afternoo for a nap for both of you. This will be good for the two of you? It will show dd that you can make wonderful memories together.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

A couple questions:

Where are you supposed to be staying?
How many days will you be there?

It is totally doable!


Here's some suggestions:

Have a family member or friend take you to the airport (I'm assuming you are flying) so you don't have to worry about parking your car and catching a shuttle to the terminal with your DD and luggage.

Use the Magical Express.

Bring a stroller of your own or buy one there. I didn't do this last time and was regretting it when DD fell asleep on the bus back from the MK one night and I had to carry her through the food court at POFQ because we hadn't eaten dinner yet. Balancing a sleeping child and a tray of food wasn't fun.

 

[sk!mom]

My husband of 10 years decided he wants a divorce. Can I really still make this vacation happen and how can it be fun when it is no longer a family vacation? We won't be able to do rider swaps and I dread traveling alone with a toddler. But then again, it's such a magical age that I don't think I should have to give this up.

I've seen some Disney obsessed people on this board but seriously, go back and read your post. You found out only a few days ago that your marriage is breaking up and your worried about rider swaps and such. You may need to step back and think about this for a while- get over the shock and let things settle down.

Wow- I would wait until things are worked out/settled before I planned any further for an expensive vacation. Will you even be able to afford it?

As far as traveling alone- if you only have one child then you should be fine.

 

[sk!mom]

I guess I should be clear. . .my future ex-husband will not be coming. And I don't really have anyone else to go with. We had planned to go in Sep during free dining. Plane tickets are already purchased. ADRs are made. I just really don't think I should have to suffer for his selfishness. Why can't I still have my vacation and the vacation our DD has been looking forward to? But is it realistic?

It's realistic if you can afford it. September may be too soon for you to have a clear picture of what your finances are going to be like as a single parent.

 

[Schmeck]

I guess if you plan on going you need to realize that the trip is going to have to revolve around your preschooler. You will only be able to go on the rides she wants/can go on, etc. You can still have a wonderful time, it will just be a less focused on you type of trip, and much more focused on her. I had a blast with my 2 yr old on our first trip, even though Goofy scared her, and he was the first character we met!

 

[CastleCreations]

I have always been a single mom and loved taking my dd to WDW. One big plus is not having to drive around alone with a toddler. We always stayed at one of the All Stars and took the bus. It gave me real piece of mind that I was not ever alone. My first trip with dd I had a garage sale to earn my spending money for the trip. I would not cancel unless it is just not afordable at all.
You could always pay off the trip now with a credit card that will be his to pay off.

Boy...you think just like me...hee hee

 

[ilovediznee2]

When I kicked my husband out after 10 years of putting up with his not-so-kind ways, the very first thing I did was book a trip to Disney. It's my happy place, and where I want to go when I need happiness. (I wasn't planning on going this year, but my daddy died in February, and I need some happiness...)
It was the best thing that I could have done. Granted, my DDs were a bit older, but you can ABSOLUTELY do it!!!
I'll be there Sept. 6-13. I'm not sure when you're going, but if it's in that time period, maybe we could meet up.