New TTC Thread

[Kronk's girl]

Morning Ladies!

Katiegal- welcome! And yes, I agree with Esbrick...you don't even want to know how many trips I have almost cancelled or re-scheduled because of the "what if." It is hard not to think about it sometimes, just make sure you could cancel if necessary (just in case ).

I have to admit I am getting a little nervous while planning this Disneyland trip. Although I am staying positive and I have been desperate for a Disney trip, I am nervous I might get a little sad seeing all the families. I hate to think that way, but our last trip was a year and a half ago to WDW and we were glowing the whole time (convinced we were finally bringing home a souvenir).

Hopefully all the kids around us act like little brats and then my husband and I can be "grateful" that we don't have kids

 

[esbrick]

Now that i have calmed myself down a bit i can type this. This am i woke up with bad cramps. I did my morning pee, wiped and had alot of blood and tissue. No worries, Ive had that before. It is usually near the end of my cycle.

So lunch hits. Stomach is still really crampy and I go again, pee, wipe and notice that there is more then just blood but a THICK almost cream colored something, like those gel things you stick on the window, piece of what I can only think is lining came out! I thought it was a sac of something at first, which freaked me out even more but no. HOLY Poohballs! I've never seen that before. Has anyone else have anything like this happen.

 

[cherbear]

Eilis I have never seen or heard of that. Are you feeling okay??

 

[esbrick]

Other then cramps i'm fine. I know that last week they told us that the BCP that we are on is specifically for cleaing out your utarin lining so nothing is left over, ie older follies, and you start anew, but holy pooh!


How are you feeling? Have you spokent to your RE?

 

[Kronk's girl]

Wow, Esbrick, that would make me nervous too. Hopefully though since they told you it was cleaning you out- then that means it's working..? I hope this is a good thing and you are all ready to get pregnant next month!

 

[esbrick]

Wow, Esbrick, that would make me nervous too. Hopefully though since they told you it was cleaning you out- then that means it's working..? I hope this is a good thing and you are all ready to get pregnant next month!

From your mouth to God's ears honey! I'm sure that's what it is too, just never expected it. . .

 

[Kronk's girl]

Boy, it is awfully quiet in here.

Anyway, I just called my doctor's office to ask about taking clomid, because last visit they gave me a prescription for it, but back then my cycles were 40 days and the last 4 months they magically went down to 30 days on their own.

They said to still try the clomid . I guess I was just hoping to hear something miraculous like "no, you don't need it- you will get pregnant all on your own now!." I could always still wait and see of course, or try fertilaid first, but with the two year mark a couple months away, I feel like it might be time to break down. I am just really not a prescription medicine person. Clomid is our limit so I guess I am a little nervous about that too.

Well I hope everyone else is doing ok. Have you talked to your doctor Cherbear? Are you feeling better esbrick? I hope everyone else is keeping their spirits up.

 

[cherbear]

Other then cramps i'm fine. I know that last week they told us that the BCP that we are on is specifically for cleaing out your utarin lining so nothing is left over, ie older follies, and you start anew, but holy pooh!


How are you feeling? Have you spoken to your RE?

wow, what pill is it? Glad you are doing okay

Boy, it is awfully quiet in here.

Anyway, I just called my doctor's office to ask about taking clomid, because last visit they gave me a prescription for it, but back then my cycles were 40 days and the last 4 months they magically went down to 30 days on their own.

They said to still try the clomid . I guess I was just hoping to hear something miraculous like "no, you don't need it- you will get pregnant all on your own now!." I could always still wait and see of course, or try fertilaid first, but with the two year mark a couple months away, I feel like it might be time to break down. I am just really not a prescription medicine person. Clomid is our limit so I guess I am a little nervous about that too.

Clomid isn't bad, I hope you don't have ANY side effects from it. If you can, take it at night. But seriously it didn't really give me any side effects, other than feeling my ovaries more. Good luck!!!

How are you feeling? Have you spoken to your RE?

Well I hope everyone else is doing ok. Have you talked to your doctor Cherbear? Are you feeling better esbrick? I hope everyone else is keeping their spirits up.

Girls, thanks for asking. We haven't talked to the dr because we can't do anything this month. Our funds have been depleted (along with our energy...and our hopes)

To top it off, physically this has been a rough couple of AF days!! Oh the pain!!! Seriously, not only do you find out you're NOT pregnant for the umpteenth month in a row, but you get a door prize of a huge pregnant-looking bloated belly, horrible cramps, and the like.

I'm TRYING to remain optimistic. I have prayed that God would take this burden from me. Don't get me wrong, he really did take a lot from me after I said this prayer---but it still is tough....especially with MD coming around the bend.

I think I'm going to hole up in my house Sunday. Not going to be able to watch tv or be on the computer at all because the MD crap is everywhere!!

However I did read something inspiring today. "I'm a mother, I just haven't met my baby yet"

I hope that everyone here, mothers and mothers-to-be, has a great weekend!

 

[D&DDisney]

wow, what pill is it? Glad you are doing okay



Clomid isn't bad, I hope you don't have ANY side effects from it. If you can, take it at night. But seriously it didn't really give me any side effects, other than feeling my ovaries more. Good luck!!!







Girls, thanks for asking. We haven't talked to the dr because we can't do anything this month. Our funds have been depleted (along with our energy...and our hopes)

To top it off, physically this has been a rough couple of AF days!! Oh the pain!!! Seriously, not only do you find out you're NOT pregnant for the umpteenth month in a row, but you get a door prize of a huge pregnant-looking bloated belly, horrible cramps, and the like.

I'm TRYING to remain optimistic. I have prayed that God would take this burden from me. Don't get me wrong, he really did take a lot from me after I said this prayer---but it still is tough....especially with MD coming around the bend.

I think I'm going to hole up in my house Sunday. Not going to be able to watch tv or be on the computer at all because the MD crap is everywhere!!

However I did read something inspiring today. "I'm a mother, I just haven't met my baby yet"

I hope that everyone here, mothers and mothers-to-be, has a great weekend!

Hang in there Cher. We'll let you know when its safe to come out again.
I've been a mom for 9 years and I still don't like MD. Too many bad memories. Its a day that reopens the wound.

 

[RachaelRol]

Hi Girls,

Cher, D&D, E and KG,

Chins up ladies. You will get through this because you are all incredibly strong women.

I will tell you that even though I made a decision to stop TTC and also not pursue adoption, the dreams, hope and disappointment does not go away.

I had a breakdown at work yesterday. My unemployed, grade school drop out, unwed SIL had another baby yesterday. All are healthy thankfully. But it killed me...

My boss late in the day said to me, "I'm confused." I said, "About what?" He says, " You; haven't been yourself in a while."

Well that was it, I lost it and spilled. He is a great boss. I have been completely unfocused at work since November and I normally go 125% all the time and am considered next in line for a VP spot. (really not bragging, I hope you know that.)

I really have to get my act together. I called the EAP and asked them to help find me a support group for those who "survived" infertility. I'm hoping they can help. I am not me and I need to be. I miss her.

Love and prayers for you all.

 

[esbrick]

Boy, it is awfully quiet in here.

Anyway, I just called my doctor's office to ask about taking clomid, because last visit they gave me a prescription for it, but back then my cycles were 40 days and the last 4 months they magically went down to 30 days on their own.

They said to still try the clomid . I guess I was just hoping to hear something miraculous like "no, you don't need it- you will get pregnant all on your own now!." I could always still wait and see of course, or try fertilaid first, but with the two year mark a couple months away, I feel like it might be time to break down. I am just really not a prescription medicine person. Clomid is our limit so I guess I am a little nervous about that too.

Well I hope everyone else is doing ok. Have you talked to your doctor Cherbear? Are you feeling better esbrick? I hope everyone else is keeping their spirits up.

KG I took Clomid too and no real side effects to speak of. Infact I would go as far to say that I was really calm while I was on it. Go figure! Go for it, try it for as long as you can. At least you can say you tried it.

 

[D&DDisney]

Hi Girls,

Cher, D&D, E and KG,

Chins up ladies. You will get through this because you are all incredibly strong women.

I will tell you that even though I made a decision to stop TTC and also not pursue adoption, the dreams, hope and disappointment does not go away.

I had a breakdown at work yesterday. My unemployed, grade school drop out, unwed SIL had another baby yesterday. All are healthy thankfully. But it killed me...

My boss late in the day said to me, "I'm confused." I said, "About what?" He says, " You; haven't been yourself in a while."

Well that was it, I lost it and spilled. He is a great boss. I have been completely unfocused at work since November and I normally go 125% all the time and am considered next in line for a VP spot. (really not bragging, I hope you know that.)

I really have to get my act together. I called the EAP and asked them to help find me a support group for those who "survived" infertility. I'm hoping they can help. I am not me and I need to be. I miss her.

Love and prayers for you all.

Oh Rachel...

 

[esbrick]

wow, what pill is it? Glad you are doing okay

Clomid isn't bad, I hope you don't have ANY side effects from it. If you can, take it at night. But seriously it didn't really give me any side effects, other than feeling my ovaries more. Good luck!!!


Girls, thanks for asking. We haven't talked to the dr because we can't do anything this month. Our funds have been depleted (along with our energy...and our hopes)

To top it off, physically this has been a rough couple of AF days!! Oh the pain!!! Seriously, not only do you find out you're NOT pregnant for the umpteenth month in a row, but you get a door prize of a huge pregnant-looking bloated belly, horrible cramps, and the like.

I'm TRYING to remain optimistic. I have prayed that God would take this burden from me. Don't get me wrong, he really did take a lot from me after I said this prayer---but it still is tough....especially with MD coming around the bend.

I think I'm going to hole up in my house Sunday. Not going to be able to watch tv or be on the computer at all because the MD crap is everywhere!!

However I did read something inspiring today. "I'm a mother, I just haven't met my baby yet"

I hope that everyone here, mothers and mothers-to-be, has a great weekend!

That's the way it goes with AF. The witch! She's kicken my but right now too! I swear I think my uteras is going to fly out soon!

The funds being depleted this month may just what you need so to take a break for a while and regroup. We all know that this is a roller coaster journey and it sux and non of us wants to be on this ride. You can't even spin this. The things we do need to keep in mind are that sometimes there are happy endings; we all got to meet each other and once we do have children we WILL have the patience of Job!

 

[WDWorBUST]

I really have to get my act together. I called the EAP and asked them to help find me a support group for those who "survived" infertility. I'm hoping they can help. I am not me and I need to be. I miss her.

Love and prayers for you all.

I'm so glad you used your EAP.....for anyone else struggling that has one available - if not through your employer then your spouses (there may be some but I know we have never had an EAP that didn't cover dependents) I would really encourage you to use it. After my miscarriage last April I pretty much fell apart, my work suffered and I was just not myself. I used the EAP and it really helped. It didn't make it all go away....I did end up taking a couple of months off from TTC and got on prozac. That seemed to help even me out. When we went back to TTC I started back on clomid. After 3 cycles my OB said there wasn't anything else she could do, but gave me a 4th round of clomid to take while I was getting in and evaluated by the RE. That round did the trick....but then the anxiety changed to worrying about having another miscarriage. I'm still not 100%. Fortunately my boss is great and when I went in to talk to her and tell her I was worthless she actually just talked to me about what I currently had going on and we ended up giving several things the axe and I'm feeling a little better. It also helps that I'm 12 weeks now and feel a little better. Anyway...the point of all that was just to say that if you have an EAP available and are struggling that it really is confidential and can be so helpful.

I hope you ladies don't mind me keeping up with you and posting. I truly love you guys and your support really helped me make it through. I had hit my breaking point when I found you guys and you helped keep me sane. But I don't want to hurt you guys by posting if you'd rather I didn't. So if you want me to take a hike I will and without any hard feelings because I know how difficult it is and believe me I have not forgotten.

 

[esbrick]

Hi Girls,

Cher, D&D, E and KG,

Chins up ladies. You will get through this because you are all incredibly strong women.

I will tell you that even though I made a decision to stop TTC and also not pursue adoption, the dreams, hope and disappointment does not go away.

I had a breakdown at work yesterday. My unemployed, grade school drop out, unwed SIL had another baby yesterday. All are healthy thankfully. But it killed me...

My boss late in the day said to me, "I'm confused." I said, "About what?" He says, " You; haven't been yourself in a while."

Well that was it, I lost it and spilled. He is a great boss. I have been completely unfocused at work since November and I normally go 125% all the time and am considered next in line for a VP spot. (really not bragging, I hope you know that.)

I really have to get my act together. I called the EAP and asked them to help find me a support group for those who "survived" infertility. I'm hoping they can help. I am not me and I need to be. I miss her.

Love and prayers for you all.

Oh honey Wow you have made alot of really important decisions. I'm glad that you will get support and that you asked for it. So many times we go through things alone

Just remember if you ever change your mind it's ok! I hope that you will still come around and not stay away! You are a part of us!

I will pray that you find the "you" that you are looking for and I believe that you are on the right path to finding her.
xo
E

 

[esbrick]

I'm so glad you used your EAP.....for anyone else struggling that has one available - if not through your employer then your spouses (there may be some but I know we have never had an EAP that didn't cover dependents) I would really encourage you to use it. After my miscarriage last April I pretty much fell apart, my work suffered and I was just not myself. I used the EAP and it really helped. It didn't make it all go away....I did end up taking a couple of months off from TTC and got on prozac. That seemed to help even me out. When we went back to TTC I started back on clomid. After 3 cycles my OB said there wasn't anything else she could do, but gave me a 4th round of clomid to take while I was getting in and evaluated by the RE. That round did the trick....but then the anxiety changed to worrying about having another miscarriage. I'm still not 100%. Fortunately my boss is great and when I went in to talk to her and tell her I was worthless she actually just talked to me about what I currently had going on and we ended up giving several things the axe and I'm feeling a little better. It also helps that I'm 12 weeks now and feel a little better. Anyway...the point of all that was just to say that if you have an EAP available and are struggling that it really is confidential and can be so helpful.

I hope you ladies don't mind me keeping up with you and posting. I truly love you guys and your support really helped me make it through. I had hit my breaking point when I found you guys and you helped keep me sane. But I don't want to hurt you guys by posting if you'd rather I didn't. So if you want me to take a hike I will and without any hard feelings because I know how difficult it is and believe me I have not forgotten.

I would be sad if you didn't check in now and then! I am so happy for you and you are one of our reminders that dreams can come true!

 

[D&DDisney]

Hey...
I just read that WDWAurora had her baby boy Zachary on Wed. She's in heaven. So happy for her. I remember when he was just an embryo.

 

[Kennywife]

Congrats WDWAurora!

I heardd back about my dx. It's going through my insurance (still) and they are trying to get any and all treatments I might need covered. That's good and I'm grateful. It will take a bit. I told them Ken and I probably wouldn't be ready to ttc until at least sometime in the fall or next year. They need to take care of my fibroids first.

The bad news? My periods are so irregular I know it's not going to be easy. The first test they plan to do is this dye test to see if there is scarring or signs of 'permanent damage' in there due to fibroids. It's not looking good so far.

What's so funny is that I feel nothing. Just numb. I was so angry and hurt for the longest time about it. Now, I feel nothing. I mean, if I cannot ever have children, Kenny and I will adapt, change, and decide what to do next. Am I weird feeling this way? So many of my friends chastize me and tell me not to 'give up.' I just wanted to talk to people who knew where I'm coming from.



Gabbie

 

[D&DDisney]

Congrats WDWAurora!

I heardd back about my dx. It's going through my insurance (still) and they are trying to get any and all treatments I might need covered. That's good and I'm grateful. It will take a bit. I told them Ken and I probably wouldn't be ready to ttc until at least sometime in the fall or next year. They need to take care of my fibroids first.

The bad news? My periods are so irregular I know it's not going to be easy. The first test they plan to do is this dye test to see if there is scarring or signs of 'permanent damage' in there due to fibroids. It's not looking good so far.

What's so funny is that I feel nothing. Just numb. I was so angry and hurt for the longest time about it. Now, I feel nothing. I mean, if I cannot ever have children, Kenny and I will adapt, change, and decide what to do next. Am I weird feeling this way? So many of my friends chastize me and tell me not to 'give up.' I just wanted to talk to people who knew where I'm coming from.



Gabbie

Absolutely not!!! The feelings come and go. Completely normal.
In my mind you never give up unless you stop BDing. There's always a chance.

 

[esbrick]

Absolutely not!!! The feelings come and go. Completely normal.
In my mind you never give up unless you stop BDing. There's always a chance.

Gabbie! What she said!
xo
E