New Secret Green Club

[Piglets Mommy]

I forgot to bring it

That stinks. What's the fun in that???

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

No problem Kellydoodle, this is Easter weekend! That means more than just 1 color dye!

 

[kaw1218]

 

[Piglets Mommy]

 

[Donald - my hero]

I rarely post links here but this one you have to check out..

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1756754

Reminded me of the opossom one that we used to have linked to the old thread.. Priceless..


Tara its not "that" link so you can click it..

Been there, done that AND even posted a comment -- and the DUCKY even found it all by herself

 

[Donald - my hero]

Great now I have TWO threads I gotta check to make sure i ain't messed up (not hard here)

 

[Piglets Mommy]

Great now I have TWO threads I gotta check to make sure i ain't messed up (not hard here)

Problem is...both of the threads have been pretty slow lately. We need to get talkin....

 

[Donald - my hero]

yeah i guess if I had a full night's sleep and then was around when others are i might be able to help but ......

 

[Donald - my hero]

HEY i have an idea .... I can flip flop back between the 2 and post Easter pics

​

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

This is for Nsalz in honor of her being the ThreadMutha


GIVING UP WINE



I was walking down the street when I was accosted
By a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless
Woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked,
"If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it
Instead of dinner?"

"No I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless
Woman told me.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?"
I asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said.
"I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?"
I asked.

"Are you NUTS !" replied the homeless woman. "
I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you the money.
Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my
Husband and me tonight."

The homeless Woman was shocked. "Won't your husband
Be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I
Probably smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman
Looks like after she has given up shopping,
Hair appointments, and wine."

 

[Piglets Mommy]

yeah i guess if I had a full night's sleep and then was around when others are i might be able to help but ......

sounds all to familiar

HEY i have an idea .... I can flip flop back between the 2 and post Easter pics

​

Awww...that's cute

This is for Nsalz in honor of her being the ThreadMutha


GIVING UP WINE



I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman
Looks like after she has given up shopping,
Hair appointments, and wine."

 

[katlas&kids]

I'll post this on both!

Want your screen cleaned?



http://cache.valleywag.com/assets/resources/screenclean.swf

This is adorable

 

[Piglets Mommy]

I'll post this on both!

Want your screen cleaned?

http://cache.valleywag.com/assets/re...creenclean.swf



This is adorable

darn, I got an error message when I clicked it!!

 

[katlas&kids]

darn, I got an error message when I clicked it!!

hmm... I redid it on the last post and it came up the same again. Clicked it and it worked. Maybe just copy it from my post?

My dad has been sending mails to my work webmail. Oh my gosh 700+ and i didn't even know!!

some of the titles...

Some Early Easter laughs
Obama future taxes, ...from his website
Religion can be funny too
How not to release a bear
Truck mishaps
Birthday gift suggestions
How to use handcuffs in bed
Cake bought from Walmart
sick of winter

and the list goes on. But I know the one that caught everyones eye!!!!

 

[Piglets Mommy]

hmm... I redid it on the last post and it came up the same again. Clicked it and it worked. Maybe just copy it from my post?

My dad has been sending mails to my work webmail. Oh my gosh 700+ and i didn't even know!!

some of the titles...

Some Early Easter laughs
Obama future taxes, ...from his website
Religion can be funny too
How not to release a bear
Truck mishaps
Birthday gift suggestions
How to use handcuffs in bed
Cake bought from Walmart
sick of winter

and the list goes on. But I know the one that caught everyones eye!!!!

Birthday gift suggestions????

 

[Piglets Mommy]

BTW...it worked on the other thread...something must have just been up when I clicked it at first.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

Sweet!!! I broke 3,000 posts today! Do I get some for that???

 

[katlas&kids]

When Insults had Class

[There was no need for four-letter words]


These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and

he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."


A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr



"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill


"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure." Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).


"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas


"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill


"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright



"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating


"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard


"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford


"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

 

[katlas&kids]

Sweet!!! I broke 3,000 posts today! Do I get some for that???

Yeah for you!! Lots of for you!! And cheers!!

and I copied it fro the other thread, so maybe I lost something in transfer the first time. The2nd time I copied it fro the email & reposted it, so who knows?

 

[katlas&kids]

Last one.... for today!

Top this for a speeding ticket!

Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an
unusual incident, while checking for speeding motorists on the A-1 Great
North Road.

One of the officers (who are not named) used a hand-held radar device to
check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was
surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300mph. The machine then
stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.

The radar had in fact latched on to a NATO Tornado fighter jet over the
North Sea , which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border
district.

Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff
complaint to the RAF Liaison office.

Back came the reply in true laconic RAF style. "Thank you for your
message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be
interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado had
automatically locked on to your 'hostile radar equipment' and sent a jamming
signal back to it. Furthermore, the Sidewinder Air-to-ground missiles aboard
the fully-armed aircraft had also locked on to the target. Fortunately the
Dutch pilot flying the Tornado responded to the missile status alert
intelligently and was able to override the automatic protection system
before the missile was launched".