New Form of Panhandling

[shh]

If I wanted to give some extra $$ to some random person, it wouldn't be to supplement their vacation. It would go to somebody legitimately in need.

That sort of practice is super tacky and in poor taste. It's about as bad as when people get married and they ask for people to basically give them money for their honeymoon in lieu of wedding gifts.

So you've met my family, then? Not only did several specifically state "cash preferred in lieu of gifts" in bold type on the wedding invite, but the invite itself was texted to guests. lol "Embarrassment" is a foreign concept to them.

 

[DisneylandFreak2013]

Totally different mindset and situation, but I know someone who got a kidney this way. A woman on the highway saw his window, got checked, and was a match! Saved his life.

That is something I will totally stand by. That is incredible that he was able to get a kidney that way.

If I wanted to give some extra $$ to some random person, it wouldn't be to supplement their vacation. It would go to somebody legitimately in need.

That sort of practice is super tacky and in poor taste. It's about as bad as when people get married and they ask for people to basically give them money for their honeymoon in lieu of wedding gifts.

I agree about giving to people legitimately in need.

I'm okay with the honeymoon gift rather than physical gift. My cousins actually did this, they were living together before they got married so didn't necessarily need anything physical for their home. In lieu of those gifts, they had "buy a zipline tour" or "buy a whale watching tour" while they went to Brazil. Just small, $50 type of activities (which made it cheaper in the long run, which I'm all for lol).

Around here since the pandemic the folks standing near intersections with signs have become employees. I friend of mine who works in a building near a major intersection timed them for grins using a wildlife camera and discovered they were working timed uniform shifts with a meal break; there was a van dropping them off and picking them up. It's always kind of funny to hear people yell "get a job!" at these folks -- they have a job, and you're watching them do it. They normally won't accept anything but cash because their employer demands that they bring back cash, but sometimes will take a free lunch, because then they don't have to buy their own.

You can always tell when it's a business because the signs all have the same story, up to and including any spelling errors or odd spacing. The signs are provided by the company, and the "beggars" shifts require them to stand in a profitable spot, hold the sign, collect money, and at the end of the day bring the money back to an employer, who then pays them an hourly rate for their shift. In some cases these rings are a family business (often there will be children present when it is), and in others, organizers hire unemployed singles and move them around the country, providing transport and a basic sleeping situation for a price as part of the work crew setup.

YES! I haven't seen specific employee-ones, but there are Romani people who will go from state to state and panhandle with semi- professional signs. It's a whole thing and sounds a lot like what you are describing.

I haven't yet figured out why people would hand money to random people on the street, when half a block away is a business with a "hiring" sign. I guess 90% of those people holding signs are not actually destitute but find it's more lucrative and/or a better use of their time than being gainfully employed. I feel no need to contribute to people who choose not to contribute to society.

Agreed - we have one guy who stands on the street who I have seen take the bus down from one city to this specific spot. He'll yell at you if you don't give him money, and has been there for 5+ years. Another regular stands at this corner right in front of a day labor place. Others use their money for bingo (a friend asked two older women why they were standing there with signs and if they needed actual help, they told him it was money for bingo haha).

 

[MillauFr]

All the ones I see are "Go Fund Me". Or as some call it, "Go Fraud Me".

Is it really any different than a supporters of a certain political figure buying stock in their company?

 

[MillauFr]

I want more cash to buy more wine I don't need. PM me and I'll give you my Venmo account.

 

[bsmcneil]

I saw one of those a couple of years ago. I wanted to take a picture, but I was driving. Personally, I think it's tacky. I have no idea how effective it is though.

I think the divorce one was funny and wouldn't necessarily object - but generally, yeah. I'd agree.

 

[bsmcneil]

I'd rather this than the folks on the street at the off ramps asking for money. I've seen them mostly when traveling. I don't really consider donating. I do see it adds to the fun of their trip. I do wonder if it's effective.

So - you'd rather people who have cars, money for superfluous materials and trips, etc ask and receive help than people without those resources? Yikes.

 

[_19disnA]

i've no problem with people asking for cash vs. a physical gift up front but what took us by surprise was attending weddings where the bridal shower had long passed, wedding gifts had been sent (or were brought to the event) to encounter at the entrance, with the guest book, a manned table with as many as two tabletop displays soliciting cash donations-

one had photos of the high end honeymoon destination with signage that read 'help us pay for our honeymoon'. there was a list of activities and pre fixe menus guest could choose to 'sponsor'. the same wedding had a second display on the table with stock photos of an apartment, largely empty with a few boxes and a couple of very obviously broken down items of furniture. that display's signage read 'help us furnish our apartment' with a generic list of furniture, decor and what i assume were the higher end appliances that had not been purchased on the gift registry. 2 members of the wedding party manned the table actively encouraging guests to participate

VERY tacky to say the least. I would just walk by and say 'no thanks'. Clearly people attending a wedding buy their gift ahead to either ship or bring to the wedding. To ask for MORE when arriving at the wedding reception is in very poor taste. I don't have an issue with bridal registries since you don't randomly attend the wedding of a stranger, you get invited because they are friends/relatives. Bridal registries typically give a range of prices and they also indicate if certain items have already been chosen. This prevents the couple from ending up with 6 toasters. You can also give cash/gift card if that is your preference. Nothing says you HAVE to buy something on the list. Random strangers soliciting money is a totally different situation in my view.

I also agree when handing money to some stranger in public you have no idea if they really are needy, is simply a scam or could result in some sort of confrontation. I can recall being in a Starbucks a few years ago in an upscale neighborhood that wasn't within walking distance of any homes. Someone cleverly sat near the back of the store where employees couldn't see her soliciting money with a sign that folded. Obviously, this person knew enough to have a folding sign to hide what she was doing if any employee noticed. Since the store wasn't within walking distance, they either had to drive their own car to get there or someone gave them a ride. Someone reported what she was doing and a store employee asked her to leave.

 

[bsmcneil]

Around here since the pandemic the folks standing near intersections with signs have become employees. I friend of mine who works in a building near a major intersection timed them for grins using a wildlife camera and discovered they were working timed uniform shifts with a meal break; there was a van dropping them off and picking them up. It's always kind of funny to hear people yell "get a job!" at these folks -- they have a job, and you're watching them do it. They normally won't accept anything but cash because their employer demands that they bring back cash, but sometimes will take a free lunch, because then they don't have to buy their own.

organizers hire unemployed singles and move them around the country, providing transport and a basic sleeping situation for a price as part of the work crew setup.

Often these folks are being trafficked, same as many youth selling subscriptions.

 

[barkley]

So you've met my family, then? Not only did several specifically state "cash preferred in lieu of gifts" in bold type on the wedding invite, but the invite itself was texted to guests. lol "Embarrassment" is a foreign concept to them.

i once received a baby shower invitation for a former co-worker that included a photocopy of the gift registry. HIGHLIGHTED was one of the items with the notation-'you are assigned to bring this'. yeah, several of us in the office passed on attending. hands down though on 'questionable' (tacky i.m.h.o) invitations received was when 2 full years after the wedding a greeting card sized envelope arrived in the mail with another smaller sealed addressed envelope that had a note wrapped around it explaining 'please forgive us, we were going through some boxes and found a pile of already sealed and addressed thank-you cards that somehow were not timely mailed, we are so sorry...so grateful for your generous gift....'. the smaller envelope contained the bogus 2 year old thank-you card. i say bogus b/c it was addressed to the same address as the envelope all this was mailed in-which was a home a we had not lived in or near at the time of the wedding i commented to dh 'they must be buying a home or having a baby and planning some kind of gift grab'. he thought i was being harsh until a week later when the baby shower invite arrived

 

[sheilafri]

I asked my millennial son about this. He said Gen X and Z-ers feel they have no great future ahead so they might as well spend whatever they make. If that means pooling resources to give to others, it is no real loss. Nihilistic? I think so but I’m a boomer.

 

[tvguy]

Is it really any different than a supporters of a certain political figure buying stock in their company?

Well, at least THAT is regulated by the SEC.

 

[Deb]

Never seen any car in person that displays this. Think it is tacky and would never 'donate' even if I did see it. Seems like if you can't afford a Disney trip should plan to vacation elsewhere not expect random strangers to throw money your way.

I've been following several people on "the ultimate World Cruise" I noticed at least one of them has a "support us" (or whatever it's called) button on their FB videos. I appreciate the content and they are taking us along on their trip, but they are the ones who could afford a 9 month cruise.

 

[NotUrsula]

Often these folks are being trafficked, same as many youth selling subscriptions.

Forgive me, I didn't mean to imply that it was a "good" job, or even a stable situation for the people actually doing the begging, but it is organized as a business, and being done to turn a profit for someone; it's not a situation where a person in need is asking for money to support their own needs.

Trafficking is absolutely a criminal situation and a menace, and folks may be involved in it at many levels and in many ways. In this particular instance it tends to be presented to workers as a job that one signs up for. (A couple of young relatives of mine came very close to falling for a scam quite similar to this that supposedly was a landscaping company; when their prospective "employers" demanded that they surrender their driver's licenses, they realized that something was not right, claimed to have illegally parked, and immediately headed for the hills when they went back out to "move" their vehicle.)

 

[Deb]

Forgive me, I didn't mean to imply that it was a "good" job, or even a stable situation for the people actually doing the begging, but it is organized as a business, and being done to turn a profit for someone; it's not a situation where a person in need is asking for money to support their own needs.

Trafficking is absolutely a criminal situation and a menace, and folks may be involved in it at many levels and in many ways. In this particular instance it tends to be presented to workers as a job that one signs up for. (A couple of young relatives of mine came very close to falling for a scam quite similar to this that supposedly was a landscaping company; when their prospective "employers" demanded that they surrender their driver's licenses, they realized that something was not right, claimed to have illegally parked, and immediately headed for the hills when they went back out to "move" their vehicle.)

may very well have been what they/you think it was and I'm glad they are safe. But "surrender" or "present" ? I maintained hiring paperwork for a legitimate business for many years. We always copied the new hire's DL to go along with their I9 form

 

[RangerPooh]

Tacky! If I was to ever buy someone a drink who's celebrating a divorce/wedding/birthday as a good gesture, I'd do it for the person who is keeping low-key and not obnoxious.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I have no problem with people putting it on their car windows. It isn't hurting anyone, and I'm sure it makes their day if anyone does actually send them money.

 

[Living42Day]

i once received a baby shower invitation for a former co-worker that included a photocopy of the gift registry. HIGHLIGHTED was one of the items with the notation-'you are assigned to bring this'. yeah, several of us in the office passed on attending. hands down though on 'questionable' (tacky i.m.h.o) invitations received was when 2 full years after the wedding a greeting card sized envelope arrived in the mail with another smaller sealed addressed envelope that had a note wrapped around it explaining 'please forgive us, we were going through some boxes and found a pile of already sealed and addressed thank-you cards that somehow were not timely mailed, we are so sorry...so grateful for your generous gift....'. the smaller envelope contained the bogus 2 year old thank-you card. i say bogus b/c it was addressed to the same address as the envelope all this was mailed in-which was a home a we had not lived in or near at the time of the wedding i commented to dh 'they must be buying a home or having a baby and planning some kind of gift grab'. he thought i was being harsh until a week later when the baby shower invite arrived

Oh, don't get me started on thank-yous. I sent them for my graduation gifts that I received but I have given out at least 5 cash gifts, in decent sums, to graduates and have not received a thank you for any of them over the past 2 years. No card, no text, no thank you in person - nothing.

So, I will bow out of giving a gift for the upcoming weddings, baby showers, etc since my gifts are not that appreciated. Petty? Probably. But I would rather my $$$ go to people who are thoughtful enough to say thank you for a $100-$200 cash gift. All it would have taken was a "hey, thanks for the gift!" text but nope too much effort I guess.

 

[mjkacmom]

Oh, don't get me started on thank-yous. I sent them for my graduation gifts that I received but I have given out at least 5 cash gifts, in decent sums, to graduates and have not received a thank you for any of them over the past 2 years. No card, no text, no thank you in person - nothing.

So, I will bow out of giving a gift for the upcoming weddings, baby showers, etc since my gifts are not that appreciated. Petty? Probably. But I would rather my $$$ go to people who are thoughtful enough to say thank you for a $100-$200 cash gift. All it would have taken was a "hey, thanks for the gift!" text but nope too much effort I guess.

I assume you won’t be attending those functions? I always get that you notes for formal occasions, just got one from a late April wedding ($500 gift).

 

[Living42Day]

I assume you won’t be attending those functions? I always get that you notes for formal occasions, just got one from a late April wedding ($500 gift).

Depends. How long should I wait for a thank you? I assume after 2 years they are not sending them or acknowledging it, but maybe I need to be more patient. Maybe my gift of $200 wasn't enough? The graduates were a cousin's daughter, a friends son, another cousin's daughter, and a coworker's twin girls ($200 for each of them except coworkers twin girls, $100 each, since I don't know them as well).

I sent mine out within 4 weeks of my graduation party and I had right around 100 family friends/family attend and the majority brought gifts. I sent a thank you even if they didn't leave a gift but still attended.

Or, maybe manners have dropped through the years and it had nothing to do with my presence or my gift.

 

[mjkacmom]

Depends. How long should I wait for a thank you? I assume after 2 years they are not sending them or acknowledging it, but maybe I need to be more patient. Maybe my gift of $200 wasn't enough? The graduates were a cousin's daughter, a friends son, another cousin's daughter, and a coworker's twin girls ($200 for each of them except coworkers twin girls, $100 each, since I don't know them as well).

I sent mine out within 4 weeks of my graduation party and I had right around 100 family friends/family attend and the majority brought gifts. I sent a thank you even if they didn't leave a gift but still attended.

Or, maybe manners have dropped through the years and it had nothing to do with my presence or my gift.

It’s pretty well known that thank you notes are going the way of the do do bird, not that a agree with it (they’re still a thing here for formal occasions, but I get a lot of thank you texts from my kids’ SO’s, which is fine). I think attending a gift giving occasion without a gift is a worse faux pas than not sending a thank you note, better to just not attend.