dear kidwhomakesmegocrazy ,
every time i think i got you figured out, you change or confuse me again. everytime i decide i'm done & stop chasing . you be my friend again , flirt with me , your nice . then you wait for the SECOND I fall for you then you turn your back & start running again . i'm sick & tired of chasing you . you dont have to be scared of being loved or loving someone . it IS possible that you wont get hurt in the end, not EVERY relationship is like your parents' relationship . you need to learn to trust . you need to just TRY to get more out your relationships . i dont get why jackie takes you back all the time . does she not know that its gonna be a hump & dump all over again ? i guess not . i guess you get what you want / "need" out of her . and whats worse , is she is okay with that . ugh . anyway back to you , i dont get you at all . why didnt i realize how much you liked me when you did ? or do you still ? i really didnt mean that joke to hurt you , it wasnt a "prank".. well i guess it was but i thought you would laugh at it later .. & i especialy didnt then you would reply the way you did , or react the way you did when you found out i was kidding . wow.. look at me writing this whole big letter to you , and your never gonna read it . well i hope at least.. i wish i could send this to you , and i want to . but i know you would just ignore it like you ignore all of my calls txts . i would call but i dont know what i would say if you answered . the funniest part about this whole thing? you have no idea how MUCH i like you . i should have gone to the dance with you . its silly but thats my biggest regret , i feel as though if i had gone instead of sparing alyssa's feelings we would be closer . we would be friends still , or more .. i miss you . and i dont know what i'm gonna do when i see you in school first day . i have ALOT i wanna say , which is obvious because of how much i have written in this letter , but i dont know if i could spit it all out . i really just want to hug you again. i dont know if i wanna even be friends , i just want a hug. one last time . because idk if i can handle you any more , i really think you are bipolar . i cant stand missing you because you dont even care about me . UGH.
-katie
[wooooow . i really thought that was gonna be one of my two line angry posts . ]
