Neice exhibits social anxiety, any of my business? (sorry, long post)

[tc]

I am not a psychologist or counselor, but I suffer from SAD (social anxiety disorder), and her symptoms seem very similar. My niece, Ronnie, 13, has been staying with me this week, and I am worried about her. I started getting concerned when she refused to speak for the first few days. She hasn't spent time with us for a few years, so was nervous. Once she warmed up, she spoke more often. Yesterday I took her to the city pool where my daughter, Kimmi, had her daycare kids. I took her in, paid her admission, took her to the locker room and showed her the door that lead into the pool, then I left. Kimmi called me about an hour and a half later, asking if Ronnie decided not to come swimming after all. I told her I dropped her off almost two hours ago. She immediatly went into the locker room and found Ronnie playing in the showers. Kimmi called me and said she found her but she wanted to come to my office and not swim. When Kimmi found her, she told Ronnie that this was not funny and that we were both very worried about her. Ronnie immediately started crying, hyperventilating and saying she just couldn't bring herself to go out the door. There were too many strangers and it scared her. I called her dad on the way to pick her up to let him know what transpired, and he didn't seem concerned. He said this happens all the time. He takes her to school, she may spend the day in the bathroom. At church, he takes her to youth, and she'll spend the hour sitting in the hall. She hides a lot at our house. I have to hunt for her to tell her it's dinnertime, or we need to leave. One minute we're having fun, the next minute she gets up to go to the restroom, and I have to go looking for her.

I am very concerned, but don't want to butt in if it's none of my business. If I were to say something, how would I approach my brother? Should I just let this go?

Any Dis advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Pembo]

this is your business. See your brother in person. He'll probably be defensive but don't back down. Good luck to you and your neice.

 

[NMAmy]

I know it's difficult to approach a sensitive subject like this with your brother, but if you can help your niece, I think you should. Perhaps you could explain that her behavior is not normal and different possible resources they could explore to try to help her lead a fuller life without so much fear.

Poor little thing, my heart just breaks for her. I hope that everything goes well for you and for her and that you are able to push your brother to get her the help she needs.

 

[piglet too]

It is your business if for no other reason than she needs it to be. It sounds like her parents may be in denial or simply don't know that there really is a problem. Talk to your brother and if that does no good talk to someone at her school. Good luck, and she is very lucky that you care so much about her.

 

[tc]

I am glad you all think I should say something. My brother and his wife almost divorced about a year ago, and I was concerned then when they didn't get her counseling. She has been homeshooled most of her life (and badly, I might add; one thing that caused the almost divorce was her mom insisting on homeschooling her, even though it was obvious that she was behind) and just started middle school (a year behind) in public school last fall. As you can see, she has many stressers. She is a very sweet young lady, although she's very backword and awkward (but that could just be being sheltered). She's bright, but can barely read and spell. We've playing a number of games this week, and I know she's smart (she figures out strategy very quickly), but simple things like spelling and reading are difficult for her.

My heart just breaks, and I want her to be happy. My brother and his wife will be here Sunday, maybe by then I'll figure out how to approach them on this.

 

[Pam]

Butt in. All of your instincts are dead on and this poor girl needs help immediately.

I know it will be hard for you to confront your brother and his wife - but it will all be worth it.

Btw, how are your daughters doing? Your one DD's weding pics were gorgeous and I see that you got moved into your new house! You sure are having a busy summer, aren't you??

 

[tc]

Pam, thanks for asking. The girls are great. Sarah is celebrating her two month anniversary today. Can't believe it's been two months already. Kimmi has her ultrasound tomorrow, and we'll find out if it's a boy or girl. I'm hoping for a girl, cus I don't like her boy name (Maverick, yuck!), but I'll be happy with anything, as will she. We're in our new house, but nothing is put away. Work and Ronnie (my niece) are taking a ton of time.