Need to vent about bringing family!

[SleepyatDVC]

Grace,

Ouch! I agree with the others. Put them on your do not invite list and enjoy your trip!!!

DH and I have put his entire family (parents and siblings) on our do not invite again list. But not because they backed out so rudely. Everyone was responsible enough to show up. But they drove us nuts and the trip confirmed that we really didn't enjoy their company. So, no more Disney for them on our dime.

DH is still trying to figure out how to dodge the family holidays altogether! But we won't have to worry about that for a least another year. Lol!

Good luck.

 

[goldilocks_63]

I think this is extremely rude....

However, there maybe extenuating circumstances, such as a medical emergency, that they are not telling you about....

I'm sure you will eventually find out if this is just bad manners, or if something else is going on.

SOrry for your point loss, but you have a great attitude.

My family could come as a replacement!!!!!!

Goldi

 

[Pa@okw95]

People just do not understand about how DVC works, they assume you get the unit no matter what and if they don't show what is the difference. They just do not listen when you talk about it. These stories like the one above are very common here. I had one like it also.

 

[Dean]

Many people look at timeshare as being fee. Now we all know that's not the case and it's double for DVC, but that's how many look at it. Also, when people post about these type of trip issues, it's almost always someone they knew was a problem anyway. So if there's someone you have doubts about, just don't put yourself in that situation. The other issue is that at times many people will invite themselves and/or invite extras wtihout your knowledge or approval. In many ways, this is worse as it usually ends up being someone you wouldn't have invited and didn't want to go.

We have simple rules when we go. We have X space first and invite the people we want until the space is full. We are providing the room. The rules are:

1. You don't wait on us, we don't wait on you!
2. Everyone pays their part of the hard expenses (groceries, etc)! We usuall ask each "family" to prepare at least one major meal.
3. There will be alcoholic beverages. I usually get half my allotment of Cornona's for the year in the week we go with family. A 6 pack and I usually have one or two left that my wife bugs me about for the next year to get rid of or drink.
4. And the most important rules is this ..................If the rules are not acceptable, DON'T GO!!!!!!!
   [/list=1] The rules have served me well. You'd have to know my side of the family to understand why the exact rules were necessary.

 

[Mic]

We've used our points for friends and family on almost every trip we've taken to WDW, and I am can tell you from experience: there is one thing worse than a family member backing out...the relative that must go on every trip you take to WDW!! My SIL was so offended that I used my points to reserve a room for my daughter' s band director instead of giving the studio to her as I had done 3 times before! She truly thinks she is entitled to a room every year! I invited both of my sisters and their families to WDW next Dec., and I am paying for their hopper passes. I asked that they please let me know by Nov. 1 whether they still plan to go, but I have a feeling one may back out. Since I have lost points before because someone did not follow through, I put some thought into the dates of our trip: 5 weeknights right before Christmas. The point usage is low, and I have a Dec. Use Year. When I found myself in the same position as you once, I called the "friend" (in my case), and ended up paying for almost everything so they could still go and I would not lose my points. My DH won't let me do that again!

 

[crisi]

Originally posted by Johnnie Fedora
When booking for extended family and multiple units, we usually try to book one of the units entirely on cash, and split the cost between all the guests. We heavily supliment the enitre stay, they pay a small amount for a great vacation, and we have the option of cancelling the cash room with no negative impact on our points.

That is a really cool idea. I'm going to be in that situation in a few years - and short on points to boot! Getting one room on cash and telling everyone that they will need to split the costs of the cash room is a great idea.

 

[Mary Ellen]

This makes me thankful for my friends. About 5 years ago we started planning an early Dec 2002 trip with friends fom Texas - it was going to be their first December without any children in the home. We thought WDW then would be a great pick-me-up for them.

I had explained how DVC points/reservations worked. In late Oct my friend cancelled (before the 30 day point) as her mother was near death. Not knowing what was going to happen, she didn't want the 2 of us stuck with a 2-br. Another friend/neighbor was able to come with us on short notice (and even got a decent airfare). We left the original friends on the ressie and added the neighbor. Our neighbor understood the situation and was willing to sleep on the living room sofa - if the original friends were able to make it.

Our original friends were unable to make the trip. Our neighbor was thrilled with the 2nd bedroom/studio. Her husband was so happy she was able to be in WDW for her birthday (and he enjoyed the time home alone) that he bought us a DVD player that Christmas.

Our neighbor was so happy with the BWV studio that she and her DH rented points from my brother for the next December - another birthday at WDW for her.

Now the trip we and my DB/SIL are thinking about for our family - that will be another story - more like a nightmare in the making.

You can choose your friends, but not your family.

 

[gracelrm]

Originally posted by Dean
Also, when people post about these type of trip issues, it's almost always someone they knew was a problem anyway. So if there's someone you have doubts about, just don't put yourself in that situation.

Dean - you are so wise! These are the relatives that we expected it from, but hoped that we'd be wrong this time.

Also Johnnie Fedora's idea of booking one with cash and have everyone split the cost is a terrific idea. Wish I'd thought of that a year ago! We could have cancelled it and had no hard feelings (well, not as many at least).

Hopefully in about 33 days I'll be posting a terrific trip report and those of us going will have some great family memories!

 

[manning]

They owe you a night out for dinner at the very least.

I think I would say "thanks but no thanks" to that offer.

 

[tiggerguy2000]

Last dec I took my mom,sister and 4kids to Disney and gave them a 2 bedroom at the Beach Club while I had a studio at the WLV.I knew I had to get the airfare and park passes money upfront and hold onto the passes until they showed up.I was lucky for the first time in my life that someone went thru with the plans.I feel for all the good hearted people who want to share Disney with others and give them the dvc gift stay.I gave up my dream of going on the cruise with my points to take the kids on their first Disney trip in style.My mom was crying because she could not believe what a gift I gave to them and that got me emoitional so there is some good stories out of giving our points to bring others.
tiggerguy2000

 

[robinb]

You are not really "out" those points. I know that your trip is in less than 30 days, but you can still rent your points! My in-laws once backed out on me 30 days before check-in ... one day too late to cancel the whole thing and on a Friday night so by the time I would have called on Monday 4 out of 5 days would not be cancelable. I rented my week over on the DVC rental board. I priced it right ($6-$7 per point) because the reservation was for the last minute so it sold right away! I used PayPal for payment and I changed the name on the confirmation to the renter's name. Everything worked out great .

Good luck and know that you are not alone!

 

[Pig Pen]

I too have the opposite problem...now everyone wants to go to WDW with us. We couldn't PAY people to go when we stayed off-site.

During the most recent trip we furnished the DVC accomodations, bought the Boat and Bike family plan and groceries. Not a single family member offered to buy us dinner or a drink or anything in return. I didn't do it expecting "payment" but I feel like it was not appreciated at all.

At one point someone asked me what the 2 br villa would run if we paid cash and they just about fainted when I told them.

We drove our own car down while others flew. They were all bent out of shape on the last day because they had to PAY their own way to the airport! No way was I going to make 2 trips to the airport to save them a couple bucks.

 

[msdis]

Family???? What family???


Oh you mean THAT family?

 

[DSNY FN]

Wehave had family back out on us for 2 trips now mind you I tell them at 60 days to tell us now or you will be paying me for the loss of points and it will be paid in cash they all make sure to let us know well in advance if they can't go.

 

[Pumbaa_]

Never again is all I can say. I have not had a great family trip yet, so from now on it is either me and hubby or my DIS friends. (ok, my parents can still meet us in January - but that's it!)

I am just back from a friends/family trip and I have to say the family part was not fun but the DIS friends part was awesome!

I have a trip in Jan with a non-DIS friend that I am starting to dread. So afraid it will not turn out well. BUt I am going to keep a positive thought, talk about issues up front and book a 1 bedroom! (and guess who gets the couch )

 

[Disney50]

GRACELRM,

We must share the same BIL. As you can see from our trip counter we are close to our family vaction. We also booked a two bedroom and a studio since there was going to be nine of us total. Well, we were told a few days ago that he would not be joining us (atleast in our case his whole family did not cancel). This was after him being onboard for over the past year of planning this vacation. If he would have just stated he was not going a little sooner we would have cancelled the studio. We were initially livid. But after thinking about it, we remembered the SIL and BIL's two children and thought that the space would might be a welcomed bonus by our sixth day there.

Silver linings....

 

[kathleena]

We only invite our parents or our oldest child and her family to stay for free. They all understand how it works and the relationship is close enough that they would never back out.

Otherwise - we bought DVC for US. Not for anyone else. If anyone else wants to go to WDW when we go, they are on their own!

 

[Boo]

We've had lots of differences and problems with my DH's sister and husband. One episode was particularly hurtful and mean-spirited. When I talked to my parents about the situation for comfort- my dad said "woo hoo! that just bumps us up in the rotation to go with you guys on vacation again with your DVC points." (We had recently taken them to Kauaii on an exchange.) That just made me smile. We love to share our points with family- but not at the expense of sanity!!

 

[rocketriter]

I remember (too) many years ago that my father refused to buy a vacation home for reasons similar to this. He felt that some extended family members would consider themselves entitled and that others would be irresponsible about favors granted them.

I also remember what Anne Landers and Dear Abbey have ALWAYS said about situations where in-laws misbehave. The primary responsibility for calling them to task lies with the spouse who's most closely related to them. When that spouse shrugs off this duty, the other one gets stuck with bad feelings, a situation that won't resolve, and a lack of validation from the very person who should be most supportive. "That's the way they are," without any follow-up or policy change, is an evasion of responsibility.

 

[mikayla'sMom]

We took my mother and husband to BCV Dec. 2002. My brother and I were paying thier way for room, airline, tickets and a special night at Cirque solie. I figued if i rented a 1 bedroom for out week and 5 days in a studio for Mom, it would cost more than a 2 bedroom for the entire stay. I rented the needed points to finish the reservation for the 2 bedroom. My brother rented points for his shorter stay in a studio. My brother and I split the cost of additional points, airline and tickets. This was our gift to my Mom for her 60th birthday. We had a wonderful time!

Now my husband wants to do this for his Mom. Long story short the BIL & SIL and 2 kids can't come. His Mom and sister have a bad rep. for canceling at the last minute. In fact they can't even tell us if they can come at all. Plus they don't understand why they have to bring any money. I said you have to pay for FOOD. We were picking up everything else. The nerve. Anyway we decided we would book a 1 bedroom so that we could go for 2 weeks. If they want to come, then they will take to sofa. I won't be out any money. I may loose a great vacation, but at least I won't loose money