Let me preface this by saying that I in no way think I have an angelic child. I understand he can be difficult at times, but with a little patience, kindness, and love he is a good kid.
Report cards came home on Friday. I had been in contact with his regular teacher. She had been out on maternity leave until January, so she was just getting to know him. She was having issues with him trying to make his friends laugh at inappropriate times, trouble staying on task, etc. We had a conference, removed most privileges at home, and really cracked down. Things had improved.
Not so good words on his report from art and music class of all things. CLass behaviors had improved. I had only very minor behavior issues before this year. I dropped them each a quick email to ask what strategies they were using in their classes to help.
Here is the first response:
Thank you for your email. I appreciate your concerns and your
willingness to help Ben achieve at school. I do not believe that these
issues are just surfacing now, but they are escalating. I am in
contact with his teachers and we are all trying to help Ben control
his behavior and put forth strong effort.
In art class, there is much room for creativity, personal choice, and
socializing/sharing ideas, but Ben's behavior is interfering with
this. He enters the classroom immediately seeking attention (silly
comments, loud noises, banging or rocking his seat) so the first
strategy is to try to ignore it and grab his attention with the
lesson. If Ben's behavior (or anyone else) is disruptive for others
and myself, then I'll either walk his way or mention his name casually
while I'm still introducing the lesson. When I am demonstrating art
methods and techniques at the demonstration/round table, Ben usually
refuses to participate and stays on the other side of the room (or
crawls under the work tables). I encourage him to join us so he knows
what to do and how to do it. This may prompt him or not. When he is at
a work table, his chatter often slows down his work. When there is a
conflict with peers, I'll move someone's seat (so there's no blame -
it's not always one person's fault). However, Ben is usually involved.
I have thought about assigning a seat for him, but I don't want to
single him out that way, and I like the idea of kids working with
different peers. With all of this, I am always encouraging him!
I appreciate your reinforcement of positive behavior with Ben.
Pat
So while I appreciate the comments, it all seems rather negative. I also do not understand what is 'so bad' about giving the kid a little attention if she feels he needs it. I"m not saying to reinforce his negative "attention-seeking behaviors" as she put it. But, if she thinks he needs a little "love" why not? If she spent a few minutes(Maybe 2) early on, it would likely set a positive tone, and change his attitude. He thrives on positive reinforcement, and I am wondering if the negativity is adversely affecting his attitude. Kind of like once you are "the bad kid" it's very hard to get out of that generalization.
ANd, here is the response from his music teacher:
Ben's behavior has continued to be a problem in music class this past term. He is constantly being spoken to in class about his behaviors, and following directions. He sometimes seems to be in his own world, and not paying attention to me, and what is going on in class.
My strategies are to first try and ignore Ben's behaviors, as I assume they are sometimes for attention. When that doesn't work, and he continues to be a distraction I give him reminders about expected behaviors. I try to also point out the role models in the class for him and everyone to follow their behaviors. His peers also try to get him to do the right thing, as he distract them and their learning in class. They also inform me that Ben is not following directions, or doing the right thing. He has even had to sit in my "Take a Rest" chair, similar to a time out, where he will not get to participate in an activity. When this has happened I have pulled Ben aside and talked to him about why he had to sit out, and what it feels like not to participate with his classmates, and how to avoid "taking a rest." Mrs. Oliverio and I are in communication about Ben and his classmates behaviors in music. She is informed at the end of each class.
If you have any suggestions for strategies that work at home, I welcome the suggestions.
Thank you for your time,
Jessica
Again, I feel it's very negative. I understand as a teacher they must love and wish for a quiet class of extremely compliant, folded hands children, that get perfect 100 scores with everything the first time. It makes their job so much easier, but that is not reality. Every child is different, needs different ways of reaching them, and they all have strengths and personalities that need to be nurtured and not constantly beat down.
I am in the process of having him evaluated for learning disabilities as I am confident he has at least mild dyslexia. I have hired a tutor that specializes in dyslexic tutoring and it's going very well. I do think that some of the behaviors stem from the fact that for him, school is hard. He expends quite a bit of mental energy just keeping up, and I imagine it's frustrating when he keeps getting messages from most in his school that he just isn't good enough. Am I even making sense here? I haven't replied back to either specials teacher yet. I have a lot of respect for teachers. I love teachers
But, I do think my little guy is getting the shaft.
This will most likely be my last post. No, obviously that is not all I got out of the teacher's emails. I was very disturbed by what I read in their emails. I am working with his teachers to reverse the behaviors. 
Granted, having his (what I assume is his "main") teacher's last name may be pushing the line a little, but again, I'm guessing her name is probably on the website of the school, so I don't see any security issue.
