Need some advice please...

[LilyWDW]

Hey all... I need a bit of advice.

So tomorrow I am supposed to go to a wedding. It would be a 2.5 hour drive each way and the ceremony doesn't start until 6. I had planned on going and RSVPed for one person. The person getting married was a good friend in college and we still see each other here and there, but those meetings are rare and usually because we have some other mutual friends.

I had to go to the doctor today for a retest on something I had done on Wednesday. Needless to say, the tests came back somewhat odd. So, we drew a few tubes of blood (felt like more then that to me) and are awaiting tests. So the rest of the day today (since having the blood drawn) I have barely been able to get up and about. I am on some antibiotics and other medications now as well as a preventive measure. Pretty much, I just feel horrible atm.

So I am worried about tomorrow. If I feel this bad still, there is no way I can make a 2.5 hour drive. I could barely drive myself from the doctors office to home (a 20 min drive) this afternoon. But, I RSVPed and the thought of missing the wedding makes me feel like a horrible person. I really don't have anyone that can take me as the other local person that I know of is IN the wedding and thus is already out there.

I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be THAT person who RSVPs and then doesn't show... but I have to worry about my health and if I can safely drive that distance (especially afterward when I will have a 2.5 hour drive late at night).

Any advice?

 

[Scurvy]

You are not a horrible person! While it is rude to back out of something after you've already committed to attending, that definitely doesn't apply when you are sick. If you can, call and give your regrets today and explain the situation. I'm sure they will understand - you aren't doing anything wrong.

 

[Carnie]

If you are friendly with this person, just give them a call NOW and say that you've come down with something and you will not be able to attend. Friends are understanding about this sort of stuff.

But call NOW instead of tomorrow.

 

[sunlover13]

I agree, it's Ok to miss the wedding since you are sick. Call someone if you can. I would still send a card and gift.

Hope you feel better!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

That stinks! I would not risk your health. If there is anyone to get word that you can't make it due to health, I would try to do that.

At the very least, send a card with your regrets so at least when they return from their honeymoon they'll know why you didn't make it.

Hope all is well with your tests.

 

[Deb in IA]

If you are sick, you're sick. It's not like you are not going just because you don't feel like it, or you don't want to give a gift, etc.

It is better than going and possibly infecting a lot of people, if you have something contagious.

And yes, let them know you may not be able to come. It is probably too late to change the seating assignment or meal plans, but it is nice to let them know.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

If you are friendly with this person, just give them a call NOW and say that you've come down with something and you will not be able to attend. Friends are understanding about this sort of stuff.

But call NOW instead of tomorrow.

I agree! Feel better!

 

[anniemae]

Just call to decline and explain your situation.

I got married in the winter and there was an awful stomach bug going around. Many guests called me the day before the wedding to cancel since they were sick and/or their kids were sick. No worries, it happens. It's called life.

Get better soon.

 

[design_mom]

I agree with the others. Illness is an acceptable reason to back out of an RSVP. I would call as soon as you know you won't be able to make it. Feel better soon.

ETA: I was posting at the same time the OP was updating -- if you can leave a message for the bride, I think you've done what you need to do. I am sure they had to give their "count" already, so it's really just a courtesy thing.

 

[LilyWDW]

Thank you all for the advice so far.

I have attempted to get in touch with the bride to let her know I won't be there. However, I have yet to do so. My guess is that they have the rehearsal and dinner tonight. I have also attempted to call the friend of mine who is in the wedding party.

It is better than going and possibly infecting a lot of people, if you have something contagious.

It's not contagious. I have had 3 diagnosed UTIs in the past 6 months. I am having problems again, but now we are a bit worried that the kidney's may be involved due to some things on the last dip. The blood tests are a full panel to check kidney and liver functions plus a few other things like blood sugars. I had to get stuck twice because my one vein didn't want to give up the goods! So we had to switch arms lol.

I would still send a card and gift.

I will be sending a card and gift. I will verify their address and when they will get back from their trip (so that I don't ship something when there is no one there to get it). I already have it all because I was planning on going to the wedding.

And thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. I'm a bit worried about the tests though the doctor is pretty sure it's nothing TOO serious. Of course I came home and googled it all... yea, bad idea. I should just listen to the doctor and not freak myself out! I just feel bad, ya know? I wanted to be there, but I just don't think I can physically do it. I took an 1.5 hour nap after my first post and I am already ready for bed.

 

[SM81206]

I would def leave a message to the bride explaining the situation and she will without a doubt be fine but of course worried for your health and she would tell u it's okay and she understands just make sure she knows what's up before she starts wondering where you are , hope u get good results

 

[Gigi22]

You can email the bride your apologies and as much of an explanation as you would be comfortable giving her. Back in the day, guests who couldn't make a wedding used to send telegrams to the bride's/groom's family. And they were often read out as part of the 'speeches' portion of the dinner. Truly, we all accept that life happens--even on a friend's wedding day. No worries. Be well!

 

[ksjayhawks]

Illness is a reason to back out of a committment. Email or call and tell the bride/her family why you will not be there. Be sure to mention again in a note on the car your regrets for not being able to be there and why.

 

[englishteacha]

I missed my friend's wedding because I had the flu. I called the day before and left a message with her mom. I'm bummed I missed the wedding, but the bride would have killed me if I'd brought the flu to her wedding and gotten everyone sick!

 

[DVCMikey]

If your sick your sick...but if you don't go I would say still send a gift. At least it will cover the cost of what they paid for your dinner.