Need some advice from dog owners

[disneydreamgirl]

Well, first off I'm absolutely devastated because I feel like I've let down DH and DS...here's my dilemma:

We picked up a puppy on Saturday (beautiful 6-week old black lab) and I had no idea that my shoulder pain would flare up so terribly. I'm afraid that I cannot care for the pup properly, especially when DH is not here (he works shiftwork and I'm on my own). DS and I have never had a puppy or dog of our own before.
I just called the breeder and tried to discuss the dilemma we are in and he was pretty hostile right away. I explained the situation and I was quickly told by him, "I can't help you, maybe you can give it to someone" and then he hung up on me. These people seemed like nice people and I would have thought that they would have concern for the puppy's welfare but now I'm not so sure. I agonized over calling and had done some research online and most suggestions were that we should call the breeder.

I don't know what to do besides try to call the vet she was given her first shots from in the morning and perhaps try to post an ad on Kijiji.

I'm just so disappointed in myself and my faith in humanity is shaken. I never imagined that would be the response I would get.

I just want to add that she's a lovely little puppy and it's not her failing in any way, it's mine...I'm just gutted.

 

[Sammie]

I am sorry about your shoulder but I am going to be very frank about this.

One should never think that getting a dog is anything but a life long commitment and the breeder possibly felt the same way.

I hope for the sake of the pup you can find a good home. Such a shame.

 

[chirurgeon]

A good breeder would be more than willing to take back a puppy. It should be part of the spay/neuter contract. I would not return the dog at this point. If you really feel you can not handle a dog of this ultimate size, start looking for a new home right away while you can still handle the puppy.

Kim

 

[brettcw23]

I would hit the good old social networks like Facebook and Twitter.
It totally sucks that you can't keep the pooch and it is clearly devastating for you. Don't feel guilty...just do your best to find the pup a home. I'd also look for any nearby clubs for black labs or other breeders to try and help.
I feel sorry for you and the pup, but sometimes these things happen.

Good luck and don't give up!

 

[disneydreamgirl]

You're absolutely right and we did not embark on this for any other reason than to give a home for a lifetime to this precious creature. I wasn't looking for sympathy here, just advice and I do feel like a complete failure. We will do everything we can to find someone who will be better suited than we are presently for her.

Mod - would you please remove this thread? I should not have posted it - I was foolish to think that anyone would be able to offer advice on this situation. It's a terrible situation and one that I didn't mean to bring about.

 

[disneydreamgirl]

I would hit the good old social networks like Facebook and Twitter.
It totally sucks that you can't keep the pooch and it is clearly devastating for you. Don't feel guilty...just do your best to find the pup a home. I'd also look for any nearby clubs for black labs or other breeders to try and help.
I feel sorry for you and the pup, but sometimes these things happen.

Good luck and don't give up!

Thank you for the suggestions...I will look into these ideas.

 

[catne]

Sorry about your health issues...

but have to say the breeder's reaction is not at all unusual. The pet stores and breeders in our area guarantee the health of the animal, and are pretty insistent that sales are final (they will only take animal back if serious inherited health issue shows up within a couple of weeks of sale...longest I saw was 30 days, actually. And that was for the animal having a health issue, not the owner.) They all seem to have that in the contract. Pet-buyers remorse is really very common...so many people have bought pets on a whim and then don't want it once the work/effort/mess of a pet becomes a reality. Even the humane society will lecture potential adopters on the importance of the committment you're making when you get a pet.

That said, advertise on-line. Post a card on community bulletin board at your supermarket, church, community center (anywhere that allows people to put up notices)

 

[Sammie]

I am sorry if my post upset you, truly I am but I work with a rescue and we see this all the time. So I am very sensitive about it.

I do have a list of things not to do if rehoming a pet. If you are interested in it, I can send it to you. I will warn you there are some very bad people out there that will take advantage of the situation so be very careful about the process.

You can try lab rescue but be warned they will be blunt too. Talk to your Vet, ask close friends you know personally and please for the sake of the pup just don't list it where you will get strangers replying.

Many people will want you to keep it until it has been spayed and for the safety of the pup, it should be unless you personally know the person you rehome it to.

 

[disneydreamgirl]

I am sorry if my post upset you, truly I am but I work with a rescue and we see this all the time. So I am very sensitive about it.

I do have a list of things not to do if rehoming a pet. If you are interested in it, I can send it to you. I will warn you there are some very bad people out there that will take advantage of the situation so be very careful about the process.

You can try lab rescue but be warned they will be blunt too. Talk to your Vet, ask close friends you know personally and please for the sake of the pup just don't list it where you will get strangers replying.

I understand your comments completely...and I want to be clear that we are not experiencing pet-buyers remorse. After three out of four nights of very little sleep due to throbbing shoulders, I've faced my failing. I'm devastated by this but have to be realistic. I would appreciate your list if you would like to PM it to me. We do not want to just get rid of her! I realize that this may take some time, to find the right people and right home. I had thought that having her return to the breeder and her siblings and parents would be the best solution. I know now that is not a possibility.

 

[Sammie]

Check these listings and maybe they can make suggestions.

http://www.canadasguidetodogs.com/labrador/lab_rescue.htm

 

[Magical JenK]

I'm very close to many breeders in the bullldog community. I know your puppy is a lab, but a few things I have learned that I would think go across any breed are:

-A reputable breeder would take a puppy back w/o hesitation so it doesn't end up in rescue. I'm sorry you found out the hard way, some breeders are NOT reputable.

-They would also not allow a puppy to be taken away from the mom/litter until they are 8 weeks old. At 6 weeks, they are still learning their manners from momma at 6 weeks.

Puppy stages are the hardest to get through, but in the end, the love they give you is so wonderful.

I hope you are able to either make it work with your new puppy or find her a great new home. I agree, trying rescue would be a good start & be honest with your situation. They may not be able to help as there are so many dogs in rescue, but it's a good start.

Good luck!

 

[disneydreamgirl]

Thanks everyone, and I mean everyone, for your comments.

We had met these people through people we knew and likely got a little rushed through the process in the excitement of it all and felt a level of comfort because there was a connection. The husband insisted that 6 weeks was the best time and when we wondered if it was early, he talked about how it was better for the puppy to bond with us, etc... They seemed so nice and caring and the parents were lovely dogs...mom was very calm. I can only think now that he wanted to find homes as quickly as possible. His wife was not home when I called and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't even tell her I called. His wife told us on Saturday that she had heard from another new owner and she seemed really concerned with how the puppies were doing after they left her...maybe the husband simply isn't as enamored of breeding dogs as she is.

I've had a sharp learning curve (not to mention cried a river of tears), but will use all of the info/suggestions/resources that people have shared to do what's best for this wee pup, whatever time it takes. I'll just have to bear with my shoulder pain and do my best.

 

[Sammie]

I hope it works out for all of you. Until you sort it out, get your son involved helping out. They are never to young to help and I am sure he wanted the puppy too.

Dogs need love, exercise, food and a warm, dry place to sleep. Labs will need lots of exercise to keep them from chewing and becoming destructive. Until you find a home I suggest buying Labs for Dummies, it is a wonderful book. Have your son read it.

Hopefully your shoulder situation is temporary and you can get medical care for that.

 

[collins316]

Is your shoulder pain from the puppy pulling on the leash too hard? Or unrelated to the puppy? Is it temporary, or permanent?
I was going to post almost the same as Sammie did,,, I volunteer in rescue, and I can say that Sammie is right about not just giving the animal to just anyone. The rescue system is so overburdened with animals, no rescue can take in everyone they get called about.
If you think the situation with your shoulder is at all temporary,, please consider keeping the dog. If the dog is pulling, that should stop with age and obedience training. If it is unrealted, is it maybe something that will eventually get better?
Just a little promotion for rescue groups,, we actually have in our adoption contract that if you cant keep the animal, they must come back to us. Not be given away. I think most recue groups work that way. Just another reason to adopt from rescue.

 

[WicketsMom]

We have a new black lab puppy too, she's eight weeks old and has been with us for a week now. I can sympathize with the lack of sleep, ours did the howling the first couple of nights, but settled down with our adult lab once we decided to let them share space at night.

We also have a four year old son that we are teaching to be responsible for the puppy. One of his 'jobs' as he likes to call it, is feeding our adult (116 pound!) lab, so we have added feeding the puppy and helping with taking her out. He's also learning to keep his toys picked up or they become chew toys, and is helping to teach the puppy 'No!' and will clean up after accidents in the house too.

If you are going to re-home her, sooner rather than later would definitely be best so that she has fewer adjustments to make and can bond with her new forever family. Take the advice of the people doing rescue and be sure to screen potential adopters carefully. Too many out there will take 'free' puppies for horrible reasons. I am surprised that the breeder wouldn't take her back, but based on their reaction it would not be a good place to put her anyway.

Not sure what the shoulder pain has to do with not being able to handle a puppy? It sounds like your lack of sleep is from your shoulder, not the puppy.

 

[rhyeck]

The rescue groups I work with don't put the dogs up for adoption unless they are housebroken and crate trained. So, speaking from experience... if you can teach the dog not to potty in the house and possibly crate train the dog it can be MUCH easier to place it.

Also, just think of it this way... you are now 'fostering' the dog until you can find it a new home. Knowing that you are not 'keeping' it permanently and only 'fostering' it may help you mentally.

disneydreamgirl ~ I know how overwhelming life can be (family, health, work, pets, etc)... take a deep breath, calm your mind, have a good cry and begin the process of finding Fido a new home. It will all work out in the end.

 

[Stacy's a freak]

Terrible breeder! But I hope all gets sorted out. I am such a dog lover and especially love my lab mix. Mine was also adopted out (from the SPCA) at about 8 weeks and she had the usual clingy attitude at first. But after about a month, she was pretty settled. However, she was crated when I was not home until she was about 2 years old and finally stopped chewing. My lab mix is now 11 and I couldn't have asked for a better dog.

A dog is a wonderful addition to a family but yes, it does take some training on both ends (you must train your dog AND yourself). Have a firm stance on bad behaviors and your dog will know you are in charge and will listen to you

 

[Sweetpeamd]

I realize that you have probably made the decision to find a home for your puppy, it truly is a shame that your breeder is so irresponsible. I have never encountered a breeder who doesn't require an owner to return the puppy to her/him if the adoption doesn't work out.

I'm posting b/c I'm wondering if you have tried using a Halti collar? We had an Airdale terrier years ago who pulled terribly and he was very stubborn (typical Airedale!). Our wonderful breeder recommended the Halti and it worked beautifully. It fits over the dog's head and the leash clips to the side of the head. When the dog pulls, the leash pulls him from the side of the head, immediately redirecting him to the side instead of pulling from the neck. The person walking the dog feels very, very little pull on the leash.

I hope everything works out for you. I know it's a hard decision.

 

[kermit116]

I echo the concerns of other here that the breeder was not reputable. Any good breeder should be willing to take back a dog, especially a puppy. Also, IMHO, 6 weeks is too early to adopt a dog out. All the good breeders I've ever spoken to insist on their puppies not being weaned until 8 weeks or maybe even 10 weeks old. Of course that isn't your fault in anyway, and you were smart to ask about it. I'm just saying this because I think this shows this guy was not a reputable breeder and he was just concerned with getting the puppy sold as soon as possible. Unfortunately I have been in contact with a breeder who had this sort of practice, and she would commonly sell puppies at 6 weeks old because she was short on cash and didn't want to bother taking care of them any more. Really sad situation.

Anyway, I would suggest that you contact a local breed rescue. Puppies are very much in demand, and I doubt a breed rescue would have trouble finding a home for a puppy. Also, I don't know of my rescues who will refuse to take a dog because it's not potty trained. I'm sure they exist (as a previous post said), but I don't think the puppy being still in training should deter you from contacting a rescue.

I hope this all works out for you, and I applaud you recognizing the fact that you cannot provide the amount of attention needed for this puppy right now. A lot of people in the same scenario would just dump the dog or lock it up in a crate or run all day. The fact that you care enough to want to find the dog a good, safe home, speaks volumes of your compassion.

Also, as a final note, you should avoid posting the puppy online as "free to a good home." Unfortunately there are some people who take advantage of these kind of postings and will take the dogs to be used as bate dogs for dog fights, or will sell them to laboratories who use them for testing. Unless you know the adopter, it's better to ask for a modest adoption fee just so the person adopting the dog has to put some sort of investment into getting the puppy.

I think you can post dogs for adoption on Petfinder.com as an individual, so I'd suggest checking that out. Hope some of this info helps.

 

[disneydreamgirl]

Thanks for all of the additional advice...I so appreciate the kind words of encouragement and the doses of realism.

My boss owns a horsefarm and he and his wife are animal lovers of the first degree. He had noticed I was not myself this week and when I approached him today and explained my situation, he said they'll help me find her a good home and to not beat myself up about it. I can't tell you how relieved I am to know that she will soon have a better caregiver than I. I'm just so grateful that they will help us.

As an aside, I have never experienced anxiety like this in my life and I may just see a social worker or psychologist over it. I have always been a bit of a worrier, but nothing like this extreme level. Just one example, she had chewed off the rubber gasket around the bottom of her food bowl and it was in about six pieces and I've been consumed since about her choking. I put the gasket back together around the bowl to be sure she hadn't swallowed any and when it seemed that she hadn't I think I cried for a solid half-hour. I don't remember feeling like this when our son was a baby, sure there were tough days but I always felt in control.

I'm guessing that my shoulder pain is not just a function of holding and lifting her, but also brought on by stress. I've got appointments with my osteopath and for a massage, so that will help in the short term.