Need opinions in an awkward situation...

[adsrtw]

Ok, here's the deal guys. My fiance told me a few days ago that she didn't love me (in that way) anymore and broke things off. I, of course, am devastated and now find myself facing a difficult situation.

We were going to Disney at the end of August on the free dining plan, which was paid in full (by me). Since Disney is a long standing tradition (me and my late father went every year), I don't feel like cancelling the trip would be the best move...so my best friend is going with me instead.

I proposed to her in front of the Castle and I managed to get a dinner at the Castle on this trip, along with the Cinderella buffet at the Grand Floridian....she always called our relationship the ultimate fairy tale. I'm torn at this point on whether I should book different dinners those two nights, or just stick with one or both. I have to do a double dining credit on one evening due to our arrival time on the first day...but the last thing I want to do is get upset at such a happy place.

I should also mention that I was married a few years ago and honeymooned there (one of three trips with my former wife)...and it wasn't really awkward taking my new girl to Disney....but this time I'm going with a friend, rather than a romantic partner....so I don't know if the feeling will be different or not.

First, has anyone else been in a similar boat? I'm so in shock, I'm not really thinking clearly at this point. Should I knock off those two and get something different and less sentimental? Should I wait a couple weeks for the shock to subside? The way I am, I could be over her in a month or two, or it could take me years....I'm odd that way.

If the answer is to rebook...any suggestions for a good double credit dinner? I've been to the World over 35 times, but tend not to do double credit dinners...so that area is unknown to me. We're going to take a day to go to Universal Studios as well...so I probably should book a dinner later and at a resort....so we can drive straight there.

My dinners right now are (in no particular order):

Le Cellier (two evenings)
50's Prime Time Cafe
Kona Cafe
Cinderella's Royal Table
Cinderella's Buffet at Grand Floridian
Whispering Canyon at Wilderness Lodge
Liberty Tree Tavern

Thanks for any help you can provide...I do hope I can do it, for tradition's sake.

First of all, you have my sympathy. I did go through a similar situation with my ex-fiance. I was pregnant with our second child when he announced that he no longer loved me. I later found out he was cheating with my best friend several months before we broke up. Trust me, the shock will go away. How soon? I would love to be able to answer that. It really depends on your attitude and support team. Trying to stay positive really does help. I know it's easier said than done right now. Every day gets easier.

As far as the dining choices. I think it would be too hard to keep the Castle & GF dining. That would be setting yourself up for disaster. If I was in this situation, I would feel like I was adding salt to a wound. You have plenty of other choices to use 2 credits. How about Jiko or the Poly Luau?

Have fun! After all, this could turn out to be a healing experience.

 

[TwiddleDeeTwiddleDum]

Your former fiance is a crazy fool to pass up a guy like you - You sound like a very caring and wonderful person.

I hope you can get yourself into the frame of mind that this trip with your friend is going to just be a chicken soup for your wounded soul kind of trip. You always enjoyed WDW with your dad so hang on to those memories and make some new ones just for you thinking how your dad would be glad you're going to go with your friend and have a good time. If you've been to WDW that many times you can certainly come up with something you've never gotten around to doing & that's what I would recommend you do & skip all the fairy princess/romance locations for now.

And be thankful she told you NOW... instead of after you got married. I know it's hard but try not to think about what could have been and just see your future as wide open with endless possibilities!!!!! One day this won't hurt like it does now. And if she keeps talking about how she wants a friend, tell her to go buy a puppy. You'll get over her a lot quicker by avoiding her as much as possible. Good luck & I hope you have a good time with your buddy.

 

[Belle5]

Too bad ESPN isn't on the DDP! You really need to steer clear of the places where you are emotionally tied with ex-GF. I would say some great places for two guys would be

Turf Club (nice dark wood atmosphere--I think masculine)
Sci-Fi (not a GREAT use of credits in the $$ sense)
AP
Biergarten
Teppan Edo
Boatwright's (ship building theme)
Boma
Yak and Yeti
the Wave
Kona

 

[Mickey & Minnie Mom]

I am going to say Flying Fish (Boardwalk area to visit) or Artist Point (buffalo!)for the 2 credit.

And for the 1 credit at a resort, how about Spoodles at the Boardwalk (again for atmosphere...drop by ESPN or Jellyrolls) or if you can't get an ADR there, how about Captain's Grille at Yacht Club or Olivia's at Old Key West -- I am thinking those might not be booked up yet.

Hope you have a good time anyhow...glad you have a friend who is there for you during this difficult time.

 

[black562]

I love your honesty and willingness to share. Here is a big hug I also think you should cancel both dinners. I think you should start a new tradition or think of some memories from the trips with your father and share those with your friend. What about something in Downtown Disney for a guys night out. You seem to like the kind of meals we do but, you don't seem to have any breakfast booked. Have you thought about that? We will be at POP on the 30th, I am sure if we see you you will be having a wonderful time

Yes, I'll be arriving on the evening of August 28...staying through Sept. 5...

 

[Amy&Dan]

I am so sorry that happened to you. Her loss, you sound like a great guy! I would knock off the castle and sub Yachtsmen, Artist Point or Jiko. Yachtsmen was incredible and well worth the two ts credits. I know you have Le Cellier, but I am telling you Yachtsmen is truly some of the best beef I have ever eaten. In a very nice atmosphere. We also enjoy the Brown Derby (2ts) but don't think its as good as some of the other 2ts places. Jiko might be very cool for you two guys.

I would also maybe do something like Boma in place of that 1900 Park Fare Cinderella dinner. Another place my husband and I ate at recently was Tokyo Dining which was very good. Excellent service and if you like sushi, you'll be in heaven, if you don't they have lots of other things. We also enjoy the Turf Club at Saratoga Springs, very nice dark wood paneling and some nice outdoor seating as well.

But I would definitely lose CRT and 1900. You can find some new places to enjoy with your friend.

Ms. Right is out there waiting for you and she will be happy to find you! Best wishes, have a wonderful trip.

 

[black562]

Yaghtsman was a special dinner for her and I last time...so I have to pass that one off this time 'round....and yes it was wonderful.

Keep the posts up guys, they're really helping.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Yaghtsman was a special dinner for her and I last time...so I have to pass that one off this time 'round....and yes it was wonderful.

I think it was unfair the way she did it and I never really got to say my peace...oh well. We had a fight in March...one single fight. She believed that a good relationship never had fights...and really wasn't the same since, though I figured she'd snap out of it sooner or later. She's in lala land if she thinks there should never be a fight or argument in a relationship and she'll continue to never find mr right (at least in her mind).

I've done all I can and given all I can give. The good news is I recently purchased a brand new car....all mine, paid for (even though she agreed I should do it, she may be jealous)....but I'm in for a nice ride to Disney in style.

Keep the posts up guys, they're really helping.

Okay, no Yachtsmen for sure then! Give Jiko or Artist Point a try maybe. Or what about California Grill? For some reason, though, I think Jiko would be very neat for you two men.

Any woman that sulks after one fight is not mature enough to be married. I think she did you a big favor, but its hard to see that right now I know.

 

[nurse.darcy]

Okay, well. . .sorry this happened to you but definitely better to find out now than after getting married. . .

That being said. . .I would definitely lose any cindy meals and try something else. Okay, so I am dying to try Jiko and will do so in August, I loved Spoodles and Flying Fish as well. Also, if you like seafood you will LOVE Fultons Crab House at DTD. VERY yummy. . .and would be an easy place to stop after going to US. Then maybe you and your friend can check out the Adventurers Club while there - or some of the other night life. . .

Have fun with this trip and make it all about the fun. You can get through this.

 

[black562]

What was funny was we went to Gatlinburg a couple weeks ago and had the most romantic trip EVER....

 

[centurythree]

Lots of things I never understood...after the event in March, she went home to her parents every weekend. What was funny was we went to Gatlinburg a couple weeks ago and had the most romantic trip EVER....all the time her talking about "if we have kids in the future" and who to put on the wedding list...talk about getting me confused???

Honestly, I think you should wait a couple of weeks before trying to switch things around. That will give both of you a chance to see how things develop.

 

[black562]

...

 

[GIR-Prototype]

Being the best friend in question, I'm glad I can go and be supportive and encourage some much needed fun.

Granted, as I've said before, I'd much rather that his relationship still be happy and strong, with me left at home.

And yes, I understand how blasphemous it is to say, "I'd rather not be going to Disney" on this forum; however the connotation I'm making is that I'd rather my friend not be in the situation he's in.

Since I can't change the situation though, I'm embracing the trip and taking the attitude that this is his show, and I'm along for the fun. We'll ride the rides he wants to ride, see the things he wants to see, and generally have a blast.

I've been to WDW only once, so far back in my childhood I have no conscious memories of the visit. So I plan on tapping Black562's extensive Disney experience to learn as much as I can, and get the most enjoyment out of the trip.

 

[wdwmaw]

I originally had those thoughts, but each time I tried to speak to her she seem to drive home the point of finality...she's packing stuff I left at her place in a box and bringing them to me with her ring. Of course, she went home again this weekend, sounds like she's been running away for a while now.

But honestly, if your relationship is that far along and you're having dwelling thoughts for 4 months....wouldn't it be a good idea to bring it up with your partner and talk about it, rather than spend more and more time away, get used to being alone and then drop the bomb once you were comfortable. Odd thing is, she never shed a tear to me (though she admitted she cried like a baby later), but I WANT to see emotion when she's saying words like that. She should have been emotional in front of me rather than trying to be strong, because to me it seemed like she was just being cold.

I thnk you are feeling the right feelings here. The person you are to spend the rest of your like with should make you a better person and be your best friend. I don't mean love to spend time with you, be romantically involved with you. I mean be abel to share there inner most thoughts good or bad. You are right, people, even in the best relationships can argue and I think should. You loved your parents, did you not ever argure with them? I hate it that the relationship went as far as it did for you to have it end the way it did. You are right to ask the questions why, some of the events are unexplainable. I think this just goes to show how you really did not know her. I also hear you saying that you are not liking the emotionally detatched she really is.You have gotten a real good look at her and who she really is. Only she knows why! In order for this to work she would need to learn to talk about her true feelings, share her real thoughts and how to have an argurement and be able to brush it off and forgive. In order to have a real good relationship you have to be able to let things go and never bring it up again or hang onto it.It's those little things that people can not let go that stews inside us and before you know it when you are with a person you become blinded to the things that urk you. This sound like her to me. She has let things build and even though she really liked the thoughts of you and spending her life wth you, she has kept these little things inside and they have stewed to the point that her heart has hardened toward you. This is a little off topic but in my younger days there were several people that I truly thought I could spend my life with. Now, looking back I see that as lust. I work with alot of high school co-ops and collage age student teachers and in listening to them I think they also have this mixed up. Lust is not love and in todays world people have that confused. My advice build a relationship then add the other stuff. can make things alot better and when having it can seem that all is find and dandy. Learn the difference, I think she is confused on this part also.I hope you can understand what I am trying to say, I did not mean to write a book.

 

[black562]

I'm going to try for Ohana or Boatwrights for my single and either Artist Point, Narcoosee's or Jiko for the double. I hope I can get something and they're all not booked up already...

Keep me in your thoughts, all your posts are quite valuable to me and I can't thank you enough.

 

[VAN]

I think you are very lucky that she broke it off when she did ... before you invested anymore time in her.

I think by the time the trip rolls around, you will be feeling better and can focus on showing your friend a good time ... remember, he hasn't been there in forever!! What a great opportunity to experience it again through the eyes of a "first-timer" ... which it basically will be.

Just a thought about relationships. People tend to be attracted to others who see them the same way they see themselves. This is why someone who sees themselves as worthless (maybe unconsciously) will be attracted to someone who treats them badly (they also see them as worthless). Since you had similar issues with your ex-wife, I think that you need to step back without a girlfriend for awhile and examine how you view yourself. You need to become stronger and more self-reliant ... more confident. I guarantee that once you have a healthy opinion/view of yourself you will begin attracting women who are more mature and who treat you better.

Just think about it ....

In the meantime, she wasn't right for you and you are lucky that she called it quits! Have a good time with your friend at WDW!

 

[Married_Him_@_Disney]

Being the best friend in question, I'm glad I can go and be supportive and encourage some much needed fun.

Granted, as I've said before, I'd much rather that his relationship still be happy and strong, with me left at home.

And yes, I understand how blasphemous it is to say, "I'd rather not be going to Disney" on this forum; however the connotation I'm making is that I'd rather my friend not be in the situation he's in.

Since I can't change the situation though, I'm embracing the trip and taking the attitude that this is his show, and I'm along for the fun. We'll ride the rides he wants to ride, see the things he wants to see, and generally have a blast.

I've been to WDW only once, so far back in my childhood I have no conscious memories of the visit. So I plan on tapping Black562's extensive Disney experience to learn as much as I can, and get the most enjoyment out of the trip.

Joe Black - based on your friends comments above - I think you will absolutely have a great time at Disney with your friend. Only having one visit (and no memories of it). . . gosh - he/she is practically a first timer! How fun is that! It's always so much fun to go to WDW with a first timer, and I think you should focus your efforts into this trip and make it fun for your friend. That will help you get your mind off of things!

 

[black562]

Fate must have been on my side, because I got just what I asked for.

So I cancelled Cinderella's and 1900 Park Fare
and picked up Boatwrights and Artist Point.

Since I haven't ate at either, I'm looking forward to it...no memories made, only new ones. We're going to Universal Studios on Friday, so I got Boatwrights at 8:30pm but I may move it back an hour since Universal closes at 7pm....there were openings, but I'll think about it.

 

[wdwmaw]

Yah !!! Everything is working out the way it should. You are so blessed to have a friend like GIR-prototype. I look forward in hearing how your trip went. Why don't you write or journel on the trip reports board so we can all follow along with you on this journey of yours. If not don't leave us in the dark now that your dining situation has been solved.

 

[roscoepc1]

"She believed that a good relationship never had fights"






I'm sorry, but that's the funniest thing I've EVER heard! I've been married (a GOOD marriage) for almost 17 years, and I can't even BEGIN to count how many arguments/fights we've had! That's what happens when two INDIVIDUALS blend their lives!

You're better off without her! Have a blast at Disney! I'm sorry I can't give any dining advice, as we're counting down to our first ever trip for our family!