Need ideas about dealing with "Christian only request"

[Danauk]

This is so tough. As you pointed out you will not be able to make sure she stays away from non christians on your trip. I think you have to set the parents a final date to make a desicion as it is also not fair on the stand by girl. I am a brownie leader in England (6-10 year old girl scouts) some years ago we changed our promise to include the phrase "love your God" to show that the movement is open to girls of all religions. As this is the case the Girls you will meet in London HQ will not all be Christian either. It is a shame that the parents will probably not allow their daughter on the trip. I have stayed both at the London HQ and Our Chalet in Switzerland and have very fond memories of these trips as a teenager. Good luck with however you approach this, but then have a great trip.

 

[missypie]

She better watch out looking for "Christian" trips. Some teens from our church went on a Christian mission trip to Jamaca, to help build churches. Small groups of girls were mixed in with Jamacan construction workers who smoked marijuana cigars and thought nothing of commenting loudly on the girls' bodies...I'd think a nice walk through the Louvre with folks of any or no religion would be a lot safer!

 

[HollyJoy]

I'm sure you've gotten some wonderful ideas here (I don't have time to read them all), but wanted to offer my opinion on the matter. I think that it's sad that the parent won't let her go, but that's a decision you have to let the parent make. I think that you should definately sit down with the parents and discuss their concerns and answer honestly any questions they may have.

 

[teachingmyown]

A "Christian-only trip"? She'll be in the company of girls the parents should already know having been participating together in the Scouts program, and under the supervision of adult leaders they already have placed an amount of trust in by allowing her to be in the group.

Perhaps all they are looking for is a reassurance that you will carefully monitor events and activities so that the trip stays "wholesome". I have friends who have described VERY unwholesome scenes they witnessed on their European trips and subsequently warned me to keep my kids, and myself, away from. There are a lot of things to protect children from in this world, and many of them are things that the children really do need to be protected from.

My advice, especially since you may be talking about one of neighbors, , is to honestly give them as much information as you have, along with whatever reassurances you feel comfortable making, set a decision deadline and then just let them decide. It IS their decision, and folks who hastily make character assessments and dire predictions of future events based on such slim information as has been posted here really should slow down a bit, I think. These parents obviously love their child and should be applauded for not being the kind of parent who drives up, drops off and then disappears.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You are very generous for giving them a month. I would have only given them a couple of days to think it over.
When I did GS I had a few religious issues to work around with some of the girls. One of them I was able to work thru via the GSA Council. Another time I could not work it out.
Just be honest, take their "test", and tell them that you need an answer by tomorrow.
Good Luck!

 

[Microcell]

Playing devil's advocate here, perhaps they are concerned that travelling with Jewish people would be risky? My 11th grade English teacher cancelled our trip to England because there were 5 out of 6 of us with Jewish last names so for the safety of all (it was Gulf War time) she said no way!

 

[ilovepcot]

As a Girl Scout "volunteer" I would want someone IN AUTHORITY from the scouts to answer these peoples questions that can do so from a legal standpoint. Never would I place myself in a position to be held responsible in ANY way for any type misunderstanding or accident that could occur. And truthfully, I wouldn't want to be responsible for this young girl on an outing after school much less on another continent.

 

[BrerMom]

I feel for the girl, but I wouldn't encourage the parents at all.

I had a very similar situation and I only wanted to take the daughter on a field trip in the same state. This was a very strict family that NEVER let the daughter be without an adult. One parent or the other always chaperoned every church or school event. Twelve-year-olds should have a little freedom. I felt guilty when the daughter was very sick (missed a couple of weeks of school) and couldn't go because her mom was driving me crazy.

My guess is that she would expect you and her daughter to be attached at the hip for the entire trip. And you are right, it's not fair to the girl that is waiting not to be able to get excited about fundraising.

 

[klmklm]

Can you invite one of this girl's parents to attend the trip as a chaperone?

 

[SC Minnie]

So there is not any non Christian activity in Nashville????

I agree with another poster-- get someone higher up in GSA involved to talk to these parents. They need to make a decision and soon. There is no way you can guarantee that she will only see Christian activity. The world is not made up of only Christians. That demand is impossible to meet.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I think you need to tell them the truth. I will probably get flamed for this, but maybe you should ask them what their specific concerns are?

Obviously they must know that the entire planet is not Christian and that their daughter will at some point come into contact with non-Christian people, ideas and places. If they do not realize and accept this, then they are probably not the sort of people who would allow their daughter to go anyway. If they do not want their child exposed to anything outside of the church, then they probably are not very open minded and might even be what one might call an extremist.

If they are the same parents who expect every restaurant in Miami to be drink free, than maybe they are just clueless about the outside world... I can't even wrap my mind around thinking there would be restaurants that would not serve alcohol.

But my gut instinct is to say they are probably sane people who are just worried about what their daughter may be exposed to in more liberal European countries. They are probably not well traveled , or if they are, only remember the things that shocked them. Or maybe they are worried that the girl's will not have constant adult supervision.

I hope, for their daughters sake, that they allow her to go, as this is a great opportunity for her to see the world she may not otherwise get.
She is a high school student and hopefully one who is more tolerant of others than her parents seem to be.

But alas, she is their child and if they say no, they do have the final say.

 

[acepepper]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
I think you need to tell them the truth. I will probably get flamed for this, but maybe you should ask them what their specific concerns are?

Obviously they must know that the entire planet is not Christian and that their daughter will at some point come into contact with non-Christian people, ideas and places. If they do not realize and accept this, then they are probably not the sort of people who would allow their daughter to go anyway. If they do not want their child exposed to anything outside of the church, then they probably are not very open minded and might even be what one might call an extremist.

If they are the same parents who expect every restaurant in Miami to be drink free, than maybe they are just clueless about the outside world... I can't even wrap my mind around thinking there would be restaurants that would not serve alcohol.

But my gut instinct is to say they are probably sane people who are just worried about what their daughter may be exposed to in more liberal European countries. They are probably not well traveled , or if they are, only remember the things that shocked them. Or maybe they are worried that the girl's will not have constant adult supervision.

I hope, for their daughters sake, that they allow her to go, as this is a great opportunity for her to see the world she may not otherwise get.
She is a high school student and hopefully one who is more tolerant of others than her parents seem to be.

But alas, she is their child and if they say no, they do have the final say.

ITA with this.

My first reaction was just to laugh at this, (which is what I actually did) but you have to feel sorry for the kid.

 

[CEDmom]

On soapbox: As a Christian it truely offends me that people practice bigotry in the name of religion. Off soapbox.

I understand your wanting to help this girl but it really isn't fair what her parents are doing in terms of dragging this out. I'd explain to them what the trip will entail and give them a deadline to make a decision. There are other girls anxious to go and I'm sure their parents would like time to plan for this. Good luck.

 

[CarolA]

Just wanted to give an update on this.

The council sponsor and I spoke with the parents and gave them until today to give us a response.

The response was "No".

After speaking with them, I think that the concern over religion actually masked a much larger concern over letting the girl travel. She is 14 (and will be 15 at the time of the trip) and I think they just felt she was too young. They were looking for an excuse.

The girls had to apply for this trip and it is a council wide event so her parents do not know the chaperones well and it would not be possible to take one of her parents. (I have pretty much outlawed the mom/daughter thing on this trip!) I think they were hoping we would not accept her and they would not be placed in this position!

I appreciate all your advice.

Just an FYI. I really had no problem speaking to them without the council rep, but I would not recommend that for most people. I am also the council volunteer in charge of troop travel so I have a very good idea of what our policies and procedures are. (In most places paid staff does what I do! LOL!)


Thanks!