Need Honest Opinions

[WDWorBUST]

I know you are all going to think I'm crazy asking this here since you would assume your answer to the "should I go or should I not go" is going to be a resounding YES!! However only the people who frequent this board can understand how disney makes me feel so you're the best people to ask and the only ones that can possibly understand My husband has been out of work since last June. We went ahead with our trip planned in September because we were going with friends and didn't want to cancel on them AND to show that we were confident that things would turn around. Well......as of yet it hasn't. Not only have we been in a situation with my husband out of work we had our first baby November 1st. Now I am the breadwinner and let me tell you I don't have a highpaying corporate America job. I have a nice average job and just to be honest if it weren't for my dad owning our house and me not having to make a house payment we would have went through all of our savings and be sinking deeper and deeper into debt. Now I'm going crazy and have never been more stressed in all my life. I can't even begin to explain how stressed out I am - and yes I do know how fortunate I really am. All I want is the feeling I get at Disney. My parents are taking my sister and nephews on vacation May 28th through June 6th and so I have to take vacation too since my mom keeps my baby. If you were me would you take a road trip to Florida with stops along the way JUST to spend a day or two at Disney? I need to decide because the codes are going to end tomorrow. Just FYI - my practical side says I'm crazy for even considering it. But my side that is about to crack is longing to sit on Main Street with my baby girl for the first time and just hear the music and watch the people. Thanks for your help

Amanda

 

[tiggerwannabe]

Are you talking about going this year?
If yes, you should wait...

I know your sanity is probably at stake right now and you need a lot of Disney to make things feel better, but you have to take care of family first!

~~~~~~~~~~~

If it is in the future-say 500+ days away,
then do your homework & budget yourself.
I find it's easier,
(as long as you are not taking bill money to pay for your trip,)
to spread out the expenses...
I make it so the only expense remaining when I actually go
is food & souveniers.

 

[karemore]

There are far less expensive ways to escape from the stress you are under than WDW.

I understand your feelings, and you aren't wrong for wanting to escape the pressure for just a little while.

But things aren't going to turn around for your family unless you turn them around.

That money will be needed for something, a car will break down, someone will get sick, you just never know what is going to happen.

Make some popcorn, put on Disney Videos, wear your Disney Ears, create your own magic at home.....WDW will be there when your situation improves.

You may also find yourself in a situation of needing to ask for more help from others.

They are going to be more willing to help you if they feel you are doing the best you can.

Going to Disney when you can't afford to is not responsible.

You asked for honesty.

Good luck, I wish you all the best.

Karen

 

[Bill From PA]

At first blush the answer seems to be 'yes' if this will be a low cost morale booster. On the other hand, all of our WDW stays but one have been 8 days or longer with at least 7 park days. When it's time to pack up and come home there's no deep sorrow at having to leave, we're 'park commandos' and we wring everything out of the experience so we leave feeling contented, until next time! My point (you knew I'd get there sometime) is that if getting just a small taste of Disney will leave you more dispirited than not going at all, then don't. I also hesitate to travel a great distance, with all the packing and toting that entails, for just a few days. I wouldn't drive to the beach for less than a week nor fly to WDW for less than 4 park days. But that's me and this is you. If given what you know about WDW and your travel preferences you think a short stay will give you a lift, go to it! You've got some mighty big numbers on your count-downs, another thing in favor of going now.

For what it's worth, I was 'down-sized' in the '80's from a job I hated but couldn't afford to quit. It turned out to be the best thing that happend to me career-wise. I don't even daydream about retiring or hitting the lottery anymore. Great things may come of this for you also.


Bill From PA

 

[rngrblu9]

i'm sorry. i would go. try to make it as inexpensive as possible. you only live once.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by rngrblu9
i'm sorry. i would go. try to make it as inexpensive as possible. you only live once.

I agree. As long as your family is not starving and your bills are paid on time, go. Keep your costs down, maximize your park time, eat cheap, don't buy souvenirs.

But go if it will make you feel a little better.

I have a substanstial amount of debt (less than many, I'm sure but still enough). However, I am on top of it and always pay far more than the minimums each month. I also have a car payment & rent but it's just me & DBF and we get by.

Life is too short to not enjoy the things that make you happy. We're going for 4 days in Dec. It's costing us $359 per person +airfare (too early to buy tix). We are light eaters and food is never a huge expense for us.

Maybe it's easy for me to say because I have a pretty good life, fairly low rent , both of us have steady jobs that are unlikely to go away soon. I only have two credit cards and when I go to WDW I do NOT use them. I don't rack up debt unless there is an emergency. The debt I have was leftover from a divorce that left me paying my entire months salary in rent after my ex left and the landlord would not free me from the lease and I needed to use the card for 9 months just to eat until my lease ended.

I have only used the card once since then and that was for emergency vet care for my dog.

So yes. If your family is okay with it, and you think you can budget it, then go.

Have fun.

 

[legalsea]

Frankly, I wouldn't. If you gave birth last November then your infant is five months old? A road trip with a baby will not relieve your stress (I assume baby goes along since you said that you have to take time off from work since your mother, and not your unemployed husband, cares for the baby during the day). Maybe go to a day spa in town and get a massage, etc. I thought the suggestion about creating "Disney Magic" inside your own house was a wonderful one, and one I now plan to do for myself.

At one point I had a job that created a lot of stress. I did a lot of weekend outings during that time (fishing, hunting, one-night vacations) but the blasted stress would reappear on Monday morning. I was finally able to get out of that situation into a job I liked, but it took a lot of planning, saving, etc.

Good luck to you!

 

[WDSearcher]

Honestly ... no, I wouldn't. I'd use the time off to spend with my family and get a little downtime away from work, but I wouldn't spend the extra money it will cost you. Especially since your parents are paying your mortgage and not asking you to pay anything because they know you're strapped for money. If you can afford a trip to WDW -- even a cheap one -- you can afford to give your parents something towards the house payment, y'know?

I understand the argument of "you only live once," but you can't afford it now. And you may find that you're more depressed when you get back, simply because your Disney trip will be over and you'll have even less money to work with and you'll feel guilty for having spent it. Not to mention ... what about your parents and sister? If they have a certain type of vacation planned, you may not be able to afford the kinds of stuff they want to do. So then ... either you'd have to step back from other family meals or activities because you can't afford them (which will probably make them feel bad), or you'd put additional financial burden on your parents or sister's family because they'd want to include you, so they'd pay for it.

I think this is one you should skip. Sorry!

 

[WDWorBUST]

Oops....I did forget to mention that my "unemployed" husband is helping my dad out right now....but it's not a full-time job. And he has been looking since he lost his job....and if you didn't mean that part about my mom caring for my dd as a stab I apologize....but that's how it sounded. And my dh by no means is a bum living off of me. He has been sending out multiple resumes every week. He has a degree and an excellent work ethic and history. In case you hadn't noticed times are not great right now for someone without a job. I came here for support and to be honest I needed someone to talk me out of going because I want to so desperately but I know it's not the most responsible thing to do. However what I don't need is someone putting my DH down. He is doing that enough himself here lately....oh and yes dd would go too because I'm not going without DH which means we would go as a family.

Thanks to everyone who responded with their opinions. And legalsea.....I'm sorry if I took your post the wrong way. I'm leaning towards not going for a lot of reasons. I just needed some support from others who suffer the same "addiction" as I. I just wish I could get out from under this rock I feel like I'm living under.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Oh...I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. My family isn't going to Disney World. And you are so right I would feel guilty. I just want to go so badly. I'm sure many of you can understand how I'm feeling right now. Things are rough and I need a break. And every time I start thinking about being off work I want to go somewhere and then I start looking at places and I don't want to spend the money on those things. And staying at home is stressful to me because my house is taking over me. I'm gone from it 10 1/2 hours a day if you count my commute and all I want to do when I get home is play with my little girl. I know I'm whining and I know how good I really have it. I have a roof over my head and food in my belly and can care for my family. And I have a family that loves me very much. In the big scheme of things I know I'm rich. But it still is so hard. And though I know how lucky I am to have my DH and how quick I am to defend him AND I know how hard he is trying there is still resentment there. I wouldn't be human if there wasn't. Oh well....thanks again to all.

 

[bridgettesmom]

I wasn't going to respond to this,but, I just read some post that really surprised me, so, here are my 2 cents...I would go ahead and book your trip. I feel that both you and your husband need it and deserve it, after all, you been thru these past 9 months. I would however keep cost to a minimum. I would consider staying offsite, maybe, try Priceline or Hotwire. If you rather stay onsite stick to a value..tommorrow is the last day for the summer savings right now values are $74. I would also keep my stay for 2 or 3 nights , maybe, visit one park and the rest of the time spend time visiting the different resorts, go to Downtown Disney or play mini golf. These are all things that you can do with a 5 month old and are free or inexpensive. By no means go into debt by doing this, but, only you can determine if you can afford it right now. Your mental health is also important and sometimes a little rest and a little fun can help heal your soul

 

[WDSearcher]

Maybe you could start a "fun fund." We did this when I was a kid, after my dad passed away and it was just my mom raising us.

Every week, SOMETHING went into the jar or can or bank or whatever we used (can't remember! ). Even if it was a dollar. Once a month we would check the amount and then decide what to do. And the rule was, whatever money was in the fund HAD to be used for something fun. Sometimes we did a movie. Sometimes dinner out. Sometimes we'd buy each other stupid hats or something and just be silly. One time -- a particularly good month for all concerned -- we had enough for a two day trip to Wisconsin Dells. (Back in the days before it was a full-fledged tourist trap.) But regardless of how much it was, we'd spend all month looking forward to what we got to do with the money. It didn't really take that much out of our day-to-day budget, but it made a HUGE difference in our overall morale. It seems silly today, probably -- a little bank with a bunch of change -- but I still do it to this day. I opened my bank last month and had $70 in quarters!

I think when people are feeling the pinch, they automatically stop spending money on "fun stuff." And so you end up feeling depressed because all the money is going into food or rent or bills. But even if all you can afford every month is one nice dinner out or a 45-min massage or a new pair of earrings, it's still something you're buying for yourself. Which is what it sounds like this WDW trip is to you -- something to make yourself feel better because you're working so hard and not getting any fun out of it.

Maybe you need to find something that will throw a little fun back into the mix without it costing you what a WDW vacation would cost you.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Thanks for the support....I'm sure I will get out of this funk eventually.

Thanks Again!

 

[suevee]

WDWorBUST - Please be very careful in the decisions you make right now. Sometimes when we are down the decisions we make can put added pressures on us and make things worse. It is really hard to be in the place you are at , I understand.

What I do is get outside. Lots of sunlight really helps get your mind cleared. I plan day trips with my family to the zoo, the museums (lucky I live near DC), the park, things that don't cost much. I would always take a picnic lunch. Then I start my WDW bank account. Everything extra goes into it. And I don't touch it for anything else! Then I started to plan. To me planning is half the fun. Someday soon things will turn around for you and you want to be ready!

 

[bigbabyblues]

I'm sorry about your financial and job situation, I hope things turn around for you.

For what it's worth, I understand the feeling of really wanting to go to WDW. I'm trying my hardest to convince DH to let us go this year in Sept instead of next May, but we can't afford it, so I'll have to wait or not go at all. My situation is different than yours, but I still want badly to go back.

Honestly though, I'd have to say if I were you I wouldn't go. Yes, you do need a break from daily life. Use the week you have off to do things close to where you live, explore your own surroundings. I live in rural Ohio, we have very little except state parks, but even doing that is getting away from it all for a few days.

Hopefully things will turn around, and this time next year you'll be planning a much needed, well deserved WDW trip!

Steph

 

[GoofysPrincess]

Doesn't it sometimes just stink to have to be grown-ups?? Maybe that's why we all love WDW so much...

We have certainly had some bad spots where we couldn't go to Disney AND feel good about it. We really love it too, and it always seems like SUCH a sacrifice to not get to go.

Maybe if you can wait until September when the rates are even lower, you could at least look forward to the trip, and get excited now just in the planning. Hopefully DH will have a new job by then and you can celebrate!

Whatever you decide, I hope you do something special for yourself during your week off.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

What I would do in your situation is to start a vacation fund and during your time off with your daughter I would plan some inexpensive activities and some down time and put the $ that you would have spend at WDWinto that fund.

I'm sure that you have a lot of conflicting emotions right now. That is only natural and I know that I felt a lot of different emotions when my husband was out of work some years back. His job search was a full-time job for sure and he was lucky enough to get a job quickly, but the job situation is much different now.

A good friend's husband was out of work for a year and he was the breadwinner in the family. It was very stressful for all of them.

I'm sure that this is not how you envisioned your time with a new baby!

Good luck and I hope your husband gets a job before long. What type of work does he do?

T&B

 

[sm4987]

Wow, what a situation you are in. I think it is a personal decision. However, I sometimes find that if I follow my instints, things work out better. I probably wouldn't go. I know you need a break, but maybe going to Disney isn't going to help. Just imagine all the money you spend when you are there. You don't want to come back and say, I shouldn't have done it, and you very well might come to that conclusion. Is there another place to vacation around your home? Take a few days and go somewhere, but Disney may be out of what you want to spend.

 

[decker96]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. The thing is that it really, well for lack of a better word, bites, to be an adult sometimes. Although I know how much you want to go to WDW, I wouldn't right now. Yes, you would probably enjoy yourself for those few days, but you would probably end up feeling guilty afterward about the expense. Kids need lots of "stuff", I know I have three! They're always outgrowing clothes, shoes, coats. Is it really worth going to Disney if you end up not being able to afford things for your baby or go into tons of debt? Use your vacation to spend a lot of time with your daughter and husband. Take a trip to the zoo or a museum. Take a picnic to the park and just relax and try to forget about your situation for a while. You don't need Disney to do that.
Then, I'm with everyone else on this. Start a vacation fund. Put money in it evey week, even if it's only a couple of dollars right now. When your husband finds a new job you can add more to it and really do Disney right! Try putting any change you have in a jar every day. My husband and I did this before our honeymoon and we ended up with $300 after only 6 months. That even included raiding it a few times for quarters for laundry!
Good luck with everything!

 

[CarrieAP]

No advice- just a few words of support. The thing about disney is that it is a magical place that lets you escape from reality. Sometimes in our lives that escape is so very needed and we can't imagine getting on without it. On the plus side, it's not damaging to our health like alcohol or drugs. On the downside it is expensive, and of course addictive. I have no doubht that there a few people on these boards who suffer financial hardships due to their disney fixation. Escapes though, when used appropriately, can be quite healthy and there's much to be said about living for today, while keeping an eye out for tomorrow.

This is a very personal decision that only you can make. No one else can judge your coping abilities. It sounds like you have a lot of stress on your shoulders and need to shake some of it off, if even for a short period of time. No best answer of how to accomplish this. My husband lost jobs many times. Luckily that was before our children so I can't imagine the stress you are under.

During the fall of 2002 I was having a miserable time with my job. I was stressed beyond belief, suffering from insomnia and anxiety. My parents were planning a Dec trip to Disney. A few weeks before they were to leave I started whining to my mother and asked if it would be OK for me to tag along. Part of me felt bad, because my parents really never get to vacation alone together. They were cool though and said it wouldn't bother them. Though we are by no means poor, we have racked up some debt redecorating our house, and it was not financially wise to spend money we did not have. Despite this, I ended up going and we had the most relaxing and laid back trip ever. I did not know for a few months how special that trip would end up being. Last spring my father was diagnosed with cancer. He died within 2 months. The December trip was one of the last times I spent with him while he was heathy; we could not have imagined that he had only 6 months left to live. This year has been full of grief, yet through it all my mother and I have that trip to cherish in our memories. She snapped a quick picture in MK where my dad is waving to us across Main Street. The picture is blurry and of poor quality, but the smile on my dad's face is priceless. This is the last image of him before cancer destroyed his body.

I will send some positive energy your way. Good luck in making your decision and most of all hoping your husband finds work soon.

Carrie