Need help with appropriate punishment.

[pattyT]

After reading all these threads can anyone wonder why kids of the day are like they are. Everyone is afraid to punish their kids when they do something wrong. Geez... Oh its okay junior, you intentionally broke this but thats okay, mommy is mad now go play like a good boy.

noone EVER said DON'T punish him AT ALL

we all said that bringin CHRISTMAS into it is useless and WRONG!

A situation like that calls for an imediate reaction to it - not a prolonged one.

 

[allie&mattsmom]

I'd be worried about how he managed to tear one of those things. We know it didn't burst. I'd get to the bottom the how more than the why. If there's something within his reach that can rip through that material, it's a danger, whatever it is.

They tear pretty easy. My DS8 just tore mine last week when he threw a rawhide dogbone and it hit the ball. I've lost another one when my dog bit it.

 

[SpecialK]

The action was intentional but the intent was not to break the ball. I'm guessing he just wanted to see what would happen. Four year-olds don't have a strong sense of cause and effect. I'd believe him when he says he didn't think it would pop. I went through this with my oldest son when he was about four; he scratched the screen of a new TV.

As for returning the gift - Are you doing this because the cost of the toy will pay for a new exercise ball? You say your son doesn't know about the toy, so for you to say this is a "punishment" doesn't make sense. Why do you feel it necessary to deny him something because your exercise ball was accidentally ruined?

Quite frankly, I'm wondering why he was able to accomplish this when he was supposed to be sleeping and no one heard him and why pins, safety or not, are so accessible in a house with small children.

 

[Hillbeans]

beth - our boys are very close in age and sound a lot alike. My son, unfortunately, doesn't have much respect for things that are "mine" and it's sometimes tough getting the point across. Kids have an unbelievable knack to break or destroy anything and everything. I understand the point of your thread, that you want to teach him a lesson (mostly about the lying). There are many good ways to get your child to earn forgiveness for his actions.

I'm glad he finally admitted to you what had happened, which was what you wanted him to do all along. If you want to return a gift you bought him and use the money towards a new ball, that's fine but I do agree with the other posters who said to not link this incident with Christmas or Christmas "presents". I do think that would be mean - and I really don't think your son was trying to be mean to you - he made a mistake and needs to understand why what he did was wrong.

 

[jenniferma]

I think, perhaps, that everyone is being a little hard on Beth (the poster here). Beth-- are you due with twins in a few weeks (those little eggs on your post?) I am sure we have all had moments when our kids have driven us nuts... I know I have!

I agree that I wouldn't tie a punishment in with Christmas, but I know that if my DD continually broke things in the house, or did it often and then hid the evidence--it would get really old and would deserve a punishment!

I guess I just thought that some of the posts here were a little over the top....

Have a Merry Christmas everyone... jen bananas by dd4

 

[lulugirl]

I agree that punishment shouldn't be tied into Christmas, but he knows he did something wrong so I think some type of consequence is in order.
I think a few posters here are being rather dramatic, he's kid, he gets into things. To suggest Beth (the OP) should watch her kids better and spend more time w/ them is just obnoxious.

 

[tarmand]

I agree that punishment shouldn't be tied into Christmas, but he knows he did something wrong so I think some type of consequence is in order.
I think a few posters here are being rather dramatic, he's kid, he gets into things. To suggest Beth (the OP) should watch her kids better and spend more time w/ them is just obnoxious.

I agree completely. When I read some of the responses, I thought, "Man, this chick must be a piece of work." so I did a search on her previous posts. What I noticed was what seemed to me a pretty nice, normal-seeming poster who in the last couple of weeks (that's as far as I went back) hasn't said anything so horrible and mean that it should cause a group of people to insinuate that she is a horrible, abusive parent. Now maybe I didn't go back far enough, but I figured if she hadn't been a witch in the past three weeks then it probably wasn't her tendancy to be one. Man, I'll never mention some of the things that my two year old seems to get into since I'd surely have to look up that bad parenting thread and subscribe instantly as punishment.

 

[tiff211]

Beth76, you probably have learned the lesson like I did.......the hard way, that there are a lot of "perfect" parents on this board! I know my kids get into things that are not supposed to, break things, etc.

Seems like I am the only one who does not think anything if you take back his gift. Kids know Santa brings gifts based on behavior so I don't think he would be traumatized if Santa decided to take back one gift and bring Mommy a new exercise ball.

Good luck, parenting is not easy!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Beth-- are you due with twins in a few weeks (those little eggs on your post?)

The eggs are a download...nothing to do with real eggs. You, too, can have twins if you click on her egg!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think you need to pay more attention to him...

first the Iron
then the screw and now
a safety pin!!!!

You've lost me...what about the iron and a screw?

 

[Black Diamond]

After reading about all the "accidents" sounds like the little guy is in need of some attention. Perhaps you should spend less time talking about him on the internet and more time interacting with him in real life.

 

[Black Diamond]

duplicate post

 

[ashjohnson80]

It seems to me that breaking an excercise ball is pretty minor for a 4yo. When I was a kid I remember poking out all the fabric in the speakers of my parents antique radio, and glueing all of my mom's stamps on the wall, and I got punished, time outs and knowing my parents disappointment made me feel awful. There are only a few years when Christmas is really magical to a child, I would hate to see anything ruin that.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

You've lost me...what about the iron and a screw?

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=10774155&postcount=6

Melted the living room carpet with an iron. $1000 for new carpet
All four kitchen chairs have been broken and fixed. not replaced yet, but soon
His bedroom window, broken. $200 to replace
Set of glass nesting bowls, broken.
Two different sets of blinds, pulled down. Just tossed those and put up curtains.
Pulled down the curtain rod in his room several times.
Pulled off some wall paper in his room.
Colored with crayon on wall in his room.
I'm sure there are countless other things that I can't think of.

And then with the screw:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=789393&highlight=swallow+screw

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Oh, I do remember those posts--just forgot who the posters were! Yikes!

See this is why I could never hold a discussion board grudge--I very often can't remember who said what!

 

[aprilgail2]

I think, perhaps, that everyone is being a little hard on Beth (the poster here). Beth-- are you due with twins in a few weeks (those little eggs on your post?)
I

:::thud:::: that would make me due with triplets LOL!!! NO..they are fake eggs that just hatch into weird things.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

:::thud:::: that would make me due with triplets LOL!!! NO..they are fake eggs that just hatch into weird things.

And it would mean that I gave birth earlier this month to a candy cane and a shoe!

 

[Beth76]

Well thanks for checking up on me Miss Jasmine. Now you know all my torrid secrets. Perhaps if all the Perfect Parents on the DIS could write a book sharing all your tips and secrets that could really help the inferior parents. You should also include the name of the doctor that gave you an extra set of eyes and hands too. Or maybe you have clones. If your children never break anything, put stuff in their mouths, color on walls, lie, don't go to bed on time (oh the list goes on) then please share your secrets. Really the world will be a better place.

As for the original topic at hand, if you read my post, it was my husband's idea. I also decided not to carry out that punishment.

 

[Marseeya]

Holy cow, Beth, you have your hands full (I just read about the iron and the screw). I have a niece who gets into things that way and any time she's around, we all have to be hyper vigilant. They'll calm down eventually.

Please don't take this as any kind of advice or whatnot, but my oldest was pretty destructive when he was a tot and he ended up being diagnosed with ADHD (among several other things). They don't diagnose until kids are school age, but if you're having problems like that, you might want to keep up on the research over the next few years.

 

[JennyMominRI]

And it would mean that I gave birth earlier this month to a candy cane and a shoe!

You're not supposed to eat your offspring :{