Need college planning tips from the Pros

SEA333

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May 11, 2013
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So, I thought this would be a great place to get college planning advice from the been there, done that experts! Our oldest DS will be in high school in the fall, and I am starting to panic that there are only 4 years left until college! (I like being prepared! LOL)

Between braces, two other kids, activities, needing a new car, etc, Disney trips will not be in our future anytime soon, but college costs WILL be and I am so afraid that DS will end up having to go to a local community college instead of the University he wants. I KNOW that many people have started at community college and are perfectly fine, but for various reasons, I really want DS to have the college opportunities that I was unable to have (I paid my own way with no help and didn't graduate until I was in my 30s). If it ends up that that is all we can do, that I will be happy that he is at least *in* college, but I am starting out with "lobster and caviar" dreams and can always alter them to "hamburger" or "hot dog" realities later on if we need to.

So, a few questions since I don't really know where to start:

1. DS has placed into all honors/AP classes in core subjects and Spanish. If he continues on this course, what is the average scholarship $$ kids in this range generally get? He probably will not be Valedictorian, but will probably be in the top 10% or so of his class (based on his past and present academic performance).

2. Sports scholarships? DS plays football - unfortunately, his school is not a powerhouse football school in our area, BUT, some of the school he will play are, and there are recruiters and scouts that come out every year to watch the OTHER team play. DS is a pretty decent player and in his youth league for the past 7 years, other coaches notice right away what DS is doing and usually double team him after the first couple plays. It isn't *totally* out of the realm of possibility that a scout there for the other team might notice DS. (again, no delusions here....just considering the possibilities!) Anyone have any experience with this? We are not counting on this as a sure bet by any means, but if it so happens that DS ends up being considered for a sports scholoarship, I would just like to have a basic background of the process.

3. Being realistic and not thinking my kid is the next wonder kid in either of the above areas, there is a very good possibility that neither scenario will materialize, so any thoughts of ways to maximize any scholarship opportunities? DS is in JNHS, volunteers at the library in the summer, holds a (1 day a week) job helping a disabled neighbor with various things around her house, and is mostly interested in science and math. he hates reading and writing. Should be seek other interests/volunteer opportunities in the next couple years?

4. He has recently talked about wanting to be a Military Strategist. We have researched West Point and the US Naval Academy as college options, but I am having a hard time encouraging him to pursue this, obviously, because I would feel horrible putting him in harms way for the 5 years of service he would owe the country when he is done. Anyone with experience here?

5. Any other advice other than to settle down and not worry about this yet??!! LOL I am not a neurotic person, but this is really coming quickly and I do not want another year or two to go by and find out that we should have started preparing as high school starts instead of the the end of Sophomore year!!

TIA!
 
DS is a high school senior, went to a Magnet High School, does Honors Dual Enrollment at the local college this year to get his freshman year of college done while still in high school. He took and passed 6 AP courses while in high school, took all honors, magnet, AP or dual enrollment classes thru 4 years of high school/college. He scored a 2060 on his SAT, and has over a 4.0 GPA in high school.

He doesn't have the SAT score for a scholarship to the 2 large state universities that he applied to. To get a scholarship to these 2 large state schools, your SAT scores need to be much higher. He has gotten early admission to one (much coveted around here) and is waiting to see if he got into the other one. His grades, SAT scores and accomplishments might help to get him into college, but not to get an academic scholarship.

He thought about applying to Auburn (where my husband attended college), and he qualified for $6000 per year in an academic scholarship - just to give you an idea what a 2060 out of a 2400 will get you. Just FYI - the out of state tuition costs to attend Auburn are about $35,000 per year - that $6000 scholarship is a drop in the bucket.

He could qualify for much more at a small or medium sized school, but he isn't interested in attending those.


SAT, SAT, SAT - he needs a really high one for academic scholarships to larger schools these days.
 
I've been teaching high school seniors for 23 years, so I know college stuff. I'd say these should be your priorities:

Freshman year: Focus on a good transition from middle school, time management skills, and study habits. Be aware that high school is not the same as middle school, and many students who used to be honors students end up dropping to general classes, while the late bloomers suddenly move up to honors classes. Attend the school's welcome events, and be sure to meet his guidance counselor. Pay attention to all your options: Online classes, dual enrollment at community college, etc.

Talk about the importance of good grades. Talk about what you are willing and able to pay. Look at your school or county's website and see what type of scholarships are available (too early to apply, but look).

Push him to become involved in clubs or athletics, and aim for some leadership opportunities. Since he's interested in military, definitely have him enroll in JROTC.

Sophomore year: Stay the course. Continue to talk about what you can pay. Begin talking about big schools vs, little schools, close to home vs. far, etc. Expect him to take the PSAT.

Junior year: Visit schools. Often they aren't what you expect once you actually visit. Apply to the dream school, several realistic schools, and the safety net school. Take the SAT as soon as he's finished Algebra 2, the highest math tested. Begin to read seriously about scholarships.

Senior year: In August he should have identified the 3-5 schools to which he wants to apply. He should have his SAT and other items ready to go. Revisit the top choices. College applications are available online on September 1st, and applying early wise. In general, big scholarships are due November 1 or December 1, while smaller scholarship applications run all year long. Keep all scholarship essays online; often they can be tweaked for other scholarships. Generally small private schools send out acceptance letters early, while the big state schools everyone really wants send out letters December - February. You have 'til May 1st to accept, but students who accept earlier get first crack at the better dorms. He will attend registration and orientation around graduation.

How much do most top 10% kids get in scholarships? Sadly, zero. The majority of our students, even those with good grades do not receive anything in scholarship money. Those who receive scholarships tend to be majoring in something related to military, teaching, or nursing. Children of military or police have an advantage. I teach more girls than guys who get sports scholarships (if your kid is destined for a sports scholarship, you will be getting individual attention from colleges by sophmore year). Private schools do give more scholarships, but typically the total price tag remains higher than the state schools.

In my older daughter's graduating class, one kid got a full ride. It was a military scholarship and well deserved. My daughter was the #2 scholarship winner (she has roughly 50% of her college education covered). She had a 4.8 GPA, an extraordinary amount of community service and leadership, she is majoring in nursing, and her essays were genuinely solid gold. I had not realized just what a good writer she is 'till she started writing those essays.

Push the reading and writing. Whether he loves or hates them, he needs them. Limiting all types of screen time can help.
 
4. He has recently talked about wanting to be a Military Strategist. We have researched West Point and the US Naval Academy as college options, but I am having a hard time encouraging him to pursue this, obviously, because I would feel horrible putting him in harms way for the 5 years of service he would owe the country when he is done. Anyone with experience here?

TIA!


Several routes he can take here.

1) He can do like you posted and go to West point

2) He could go to any school with a ROTC program


Personally I would jump at a chance to go to any military academy. Lets say for sake of argument he doesn't like military life and does his 5 and gets out. He's what 27-28 years old and he has 9 years of leadership, time management, and dedication that even guys twice his age do not have.

Most employers are overwhelmed with folks with degrees and frankly anybody can get one. What employers are having trouble with is leaders. People who are on time. Problem solvers.

Being military is huge. Being an academy grad is beyond huge.

But with the academy comes many hurdles so if he is thinking about it yet I would find out what he needs to get in. Grades and sports was the norm but now they want more.
 

I am so afraid that DS will end up having to go to a local community college instead of the University he wants. I KNOW that many people have started at community college and are perfectly fine, but for various reasons, I really want DS to have the college opportunities that I was unable to have (I paid my own way with no help and didn't graduate until I was in my 30s). If it ends up that that is all we can do, that I will be happy that he is at least *in* college, but I am starting out with "lobster and caviar" dreams and can always alter them to "hamburger" or "hot dog" realities later on if we need to.

Please please *PLEASE* do not get it into his head that a community college is beneath him. If he doesn't get into the school he wants, or if for some reason he can't afford it and doesn't get scholarships, he may end up feeling like he's worthless and stupid because he "only" went to a CC for the first 2 years. CC are actually very good from a financial point of view. No, he won't be in a dorm for the first 2 years, and no, he won't be tempted to join 3 million clubs, but he *WILL* get his first 2 years of general ed classes out of the way, and then be able to transfer to a four year school to finish. This is the route I'm taking. When I get my degree, it will say "UWF", not "2 years at RCCC, 1 year at GCSC, 2 years at UWF". Unless he's planning on going into a highly specialized field, there isn't a whole lot of difference between the various accredited universities. An accounting program at one school will be pretty much the same as an accounting program at another; yeah, the extra classes that are offered may have a different focus (my school has tourism/hospitality, which makes sense because it's on the Gulf Coast of Florida), but in general I will learn the same things that kids at Yale learn ... and pay about 1/4 the price. The Yale diploma might be more "prestigious", but for the vast majority of fields it's not *THAT* big of a deal.

Definitely check with the high school to see if any of his classes will be dual enrollment classes. We had a few kids graduate from HS with an AA degree from the local community college because they took enough (and the right) dual enrollment classes ... and they didn't have to pay for those. So they basically got 2 years of college out of the way for zero cost.

Keep up the volunteering, keep up with the honors programs at school. Both of those will open up more scholarship opportunities. And don't overlook the small scholarships. $500 a semester might not sound like much, but you'd be amazed how much food a person can stretch that into, and if you can get 3 or 4 small ones, it does add up.
 
our daughter graduated last year from high school, so this is all fresh for us.

We knew pretty quickly that we would not be qualifying for financial aid, so no surprise there.

Our daughter graduated in the top 15 of her class (graduating class was around 100) and she only had a few things on her resume, but things that she was VERY committed and invested in. For example, she was involved in our community theatre but had been for over 3 years. She was stage manager for all the children's shows, the sound technician for every adult show, and even acted in a couple and on occasion, ran the lights. Her colleges were quite impressed that she had committed to that, instead of many different clubs where she could have just been a member of.

She also scored high on both the SAT and ACT and those seemed to have been the deciding factors on her receiving any school scholarships. She was also a National Hispanic Scholar, as well as a National Merit, Commended. Because of the Hispanic scholar, she did receive 3 FULL scholarships from schools she did not apply to. She got a couple of good scholarship offers from state schools, but got the best offer from a private university here in Texas, which is what she accepted.

I know many of her friends who did graduate at the top of their class, got minimal as far as scholarship money. Many of them have on campus jobs and student loans. Many, many of them decided to stay locally and continue their education at a local cost.

If you do not have money saved, I would start now, even at $50 a week or month. At least you have 4 years for that. Good luck!!

Edited to add...didn't they just do away with the essay portion of the SAT?
 
Please note that if you graduate from a service academy you have an EIGHT year obligation, not five years. It's five years active duty, three years of inactive service, subject to recall.

I'm a veteran, married to a 30 year veteran and would not have wanted my children to attend a service academy. I just don't think they offer a well rounded education. Plus the military is going to be drastically downsized over the coming years. Also, an academy grad is not going into "military strategy" (not sure what that even would be). Junior officers lead troops (or Marines, airmen, etc.), they don't usually make strategy.

OP, the other posters are right; even valedictorians who are National Merit Scholar finalists don't get many free ride offers and a sports scholarship just isn't happening.

You are really late to start worrying about paying for college. However, if you plan on your child taking loans and you take out PLUS loans, you should be able to do it. Don't disparage community college; it's a great way to save money before transferring to a 4 year college.
 
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Please please *PLEASE* do not get it into his head that a community college is beneath him.



Don't worry -- his classmates will be sure to let him know that a community college is a second-rate choice! Seriously, quite a few kids are very uppity about colleges.

My second child may very well begin at a community college. It's not about money; rather, it's that she isn't ready to leave home. She has a whole year left, and what I say may not be true. It will be her decision, but the worst-worst-worst possibility would be to send her away to a dorm and the whole college experience and have her return home, thinking of herself as a failure. I see it happen every single year to someone's child, and it is devastatingly difficult to recover from that.

Do realize that students who begin in community college usually take more than four years to graduate. It's not usually a matter of 2 years + 2 years, so the savings may not be quite as much as you might think. The biggest money saver is not community college; it's living at home.
 
Our DS20 received a full-ride academic scholarship to a local state university. He graduated high school with a 5.0 GPA and enough AP credit and dual-credit courses to count for 30 credit hours. He scored a 33 on his ACT. He was also involved in drama, speech, German club, and honors programs during all four years of high school.

During the summer before his senior year, I encouraged him to pick at least seven universities: at least one Ivy, his dream schools, and two local universities. I didn't want him to ever think "what if"... I wanted him to know for sure if the schools would accept him. He seriously considered West Point, but with DH and I both being veterans, we cautioned him about going to the academy just for the school.... that commitment means so much more and should be fully understood. He decided against all the academies because he decided the military wasn't for him.

In the end, he selected Yale, Mizzou, NYU, Northwestern, Chicago State, Saint Louis Univ. and Southern Illinois Univ. We researched the school websites ourselves for information and scholarships and made sure he applied for everything possible. Yale contacted him for an interview (which he did), but didn't select him. Mizzou offered him $5,000 a year (out of $35K a year). NYU and Chicago accepted him, but offered nothing. Northwestern wait-listed him.

The two local schools, SLU and SIUE, invited him to interview for their presidential scholarships. SLU offered him $17K a year (out of $35K - tuition only) and SIUE offered him a full-ride (tuition, fees, room/board). Both schools are within a 30 minute drive of our home. I kept my opinions to myself and left the decision up to him because I wanted it to be his choice. He took the full-ride and hasn't regretted it once in the last two years. While a lot of his friends went much further away, he found that he liked being close to home. He is thriving and it thrills me. He will graduate after four years with a double-major, a minor and no debt. :) Since we paid for his sister's college education (university via junior college while living @home), we have told him we would help with his graduate studies... which at this moment just might be law school. He is already exploring schools, their requirements, and possible scholarships.

MrsPete gave you some great advice. Colleges like to see involvement in clubs/sports for four years, with leadership if possible. Keep the GPA high. Prep for the ACT/SAT. He needs to build the reading/writing skills. Involvement in the school and local community also helps. And I can't say it enough.... research, research, research. Whether it's information about the universities or scholarships, do your homework and beat the deadline dates. :)
 
DS is a senior this year. Leadership in clubs and organizations got full tuition scholarship money at local junior college where he will get he first 2 years. ACT score is everything. Honor student. Top 10 in class etc etc all good things but ACT score is huge. We've applied for local small scholarships that are paid to student to use for books etc. Haven't heard from any of those yet.
 
Please note that if you graduate from a service academy you have an EIGHT year obligation, not five years. It's five years active duty, three years of inactive service, subject to recall.

I'm a veteran, married to a 30 year veteran and would not have wanted my children to attend a service academy. I just don't think they offer a well rounded education. Plus the military is going to be drastically downsized over the coming years. Also, an academy grad is not going into "military strategy" (not sure what that even would be). Junior officers lead troops (or Marines, airmen, etc.), they don't usually make strategy.

OP, the other posters are right; even valedictorians who are National Merit Scholar finalists don't get many free ride offers and a sports scholarship just isn't happening.

You are really late to start worrying about paying for college. However, if you plan on your child taking loans and you take out PLUS loans, you should be able to do it. Don't disparage community college; it's a great way to save money before transferring to a 4 year college.

Haha...wow.

1. I'll have to check on the West Point/Military post-graduation obligation - we just looked into this a month ago and West Point's website said 5 years. Maybe I misread.

2. My uncle is a Captain in the Navy, with 30 years of service. DS talked to him and got a much different picture of what Military life is like than it sounds like for you and your partner. My other uncle served about 10 years in the Marines and got out. He offers a much different view of Military life than uncle #1. My younger kids' afterschool babysitters husband was wounded in Afghanastan and is now disabled, and offers another perspective on military life. It seems to be very individualized. I have my own issued with it, but if DS decides that is the direction he wants to take, I will not try to dissuade him. I am not trying to persuade him either, but even if he decides not to pursue it, it's not a bad high school path to stay on...at the very least, he will be preparing himself at a high level.

3. I will not get into my son's talents or passions with his sport of choice here because you will never see him play and do not know what he is capable of. While I do not think that, statistically speaking, he WILL get a football scholarship, I absolutely will NOT crush his dreams and tell him that is is "not happening" like you state. We know anything, good or bad, can happen at any moment, so of course we are not counting on it as the sole way (or any way, really) to pay for college, but geesh! That was kind of harsh.

3. We are not ONLY JUST beginning to think about paying for college - we have a college fund, but three kids to put through, and are looking for advice as to how to maximize any type of financial aid by making sure we do everything we can NOW instead of waiting until halfway through high school. Honestly, based on everyone else's responses, it seems like we are on the right track.

Thanks for your thoughts!
 
Please note that if you graduate from a service academy you have an EIGHT year obligation, not five years. It's five years active duty, three years of inactive service, subject to recall.

I'm a veteran, married to a 30 year veteran and would not have wanted my children to attend a service academy. I just don't think they offer a well rounded education. Plus the military is going to be drastically downsized over the coming years. Also, an academy grad is not going into "military strategy" (not sure what that even would be). Junior officers lead troops (or Marines, airmen, etc.), they don't usually make strategy.

OP, the other posters are right; even valedictorians who are National Merit Scholar finalists don't get many free ride offers and a sports scholarship just isn't happening.

You are really late to start worrying about paying for college. However, if you plan on your child taking loans and you take out PLUS loans, you should be able to do it. Don't disparage community college; it's a great way to save money before transferring to a 4 year college.
Note, too, that service academies are EXTREMELY competitive. I'd say they're somewhere between your state flagship university and an Ivy League school.

Most of our kids end up going to mid-tier schools, and that is FINE. As someone else said, only something like 30% of all adult Americans have degrees at all, so don't knock your average universities. Lots of people online (and all my high school seniors) talk about their plans for grad school and further, but even fewer Americans follow through with those plans, so don't kick yourself for having "only" a BA or BS, and don't make your kids think that's a low goal.
 
Please please *PLEASE* do not get it into his head that a community college is beneath him.



Don't worry -- his classmates will be sure to let him know that a community college is a second-rate choice! Seriously, quite a few kids are very uppity about colleges.

My second child may very well begin at a community college. It's not about money; rather, it's that she isn't ready to leave home. She has a whole year left, and what I say may not be true. It will be her decision, but the worst-worst-worst possibility would be to send her away to a dorm and the whole college experience and have her return home, thinking of herself as a failure. I see it happen every single year to someone's child, and it is devastatingly difficult to recover from that.

Do realize that students who begin in community college usually take more than four years to graduate. It's not usually a matter of 2 years + 2 years, so the savings may not be quite as much as you might think. The biggest money saver is not community college; it's living at home.

Yes, that is true! LOL I went to community college, so I am not opposed to it as a philisophical decision, but there are reasons we do not want our son to go that have nothing to do with him...he is not privy to my thoughts on this! LOL I graduated with $50K in student loans, so community college didn't save me either time or money!!

We luckily live in an area with very good universities within commuting distance, so i don't even think DS really even has to go away to school...we just want him to have every option open to him without us having to say "Sorry, community college is your only choice" his senior year, like my parents ended up doing to me.

Thank you for all of the wionderful advice!!!
 
1. I'll have to check on the West Point/Military

3. I will not get into my son's talents or passions with his sport of choice here because you will never see him play and do not know what he is capable o

I don't know about the obligation attached to military academies, but I do know that different programs carry different obligations. For example, my brother and his good friend both went military right out of high school. My brother was accepted into a tech-heavy program that began with more than two years of education before he began to actually "serve" in any way. He signed on for eight years of duty, but in the end was RIFed halfway through and served out his obligation as a reservist. In contrast, his friend signed on for a four year obligation after a shorter training.

I'd suggest that if he does end up going the military route that you, the older and wiser adult, talk with the recruiter before he signs on for anything. The military can be a great choice for the right person, but I've heard too many of my high school students obligate themselves for things without fully understanding them.

As for sports, you're right that none of us know what he can/can't do. That's why I gave you something to watch for: if by sophomore year colleges are talking about him, contacting his coach, etc., then you have a shot at a scholarship. If those things aren't happening, then it's not likely to happen.

I see lots of parents who are very unrealistic about sports scholarships. For example, one of my juniors is very, very certain she's going to get a nice scholarship. She didn't play varsity level until she was a junior (completely average), and she's a starter only about half the time. Yet she and her mom are 100% she's going to a very prestigious out of state school, a school to which she is very unlikely to be admitted because of her weak academics. This family is lying to itself. I don't have the impression that you are doing the same thing, but you are the one who is in the position to judge his possibilities.
 
Two of my kids have won BIG foundation scholarships. Both took 7 ap courses and honors for the rest.

Your school college counselor is your resource!! Ours sends out regular reminders of specific scholarships each kid looks well qualified to win.

Leadership has been the key. Encourage your kids to take on leadership roles when they can

If he is a science guy the DOD has stem scholarships that come with a job when you graduate.
 
My advice? If you are at an income level where you will be expected to cover most of it (I'd guess $75 K and above?), stop focusing on what you can't do for him and start thinking about what you CAN do for him financially.

For example:
Can you live on $200 less a month? If so, start doing so. By the end of high school you'll have almost $10,000 to give him a start. Divide by 4 years and that's $2500 each year.

You'll also have the ability to contribute $2400 each year as he goes along. Add to that the tax credits you'll get if you're paying his tuition as well as the money you're NOT using having him at home and you could pretty easily have more than 5K a year to contribute.

Now have him go out and get some sort of employment. If he heads off to school with at least 2K in a bank account, he'll be ready to start paying his own pocket expenses and buying his own books.

Already, you're up to $9500 a year towards his expenses.

Think about what will be paid off by then like braces, etc. Will there be extra cash flow available?

Do you get a tax refund? Can you make other cuts so you could divert more money into his college fund?

After you've figured out what you can do, THEN you start adding in possible scholarship money, employment during college, etc.


I have two kids in college right now. Our plan was to pay off our house right before the oldest started, freeing up the mortgage money (plus what we were adding to it) for tuition. I also went from part time employment to full time employment. That plan is working for us. We made our plan assuming we'd have to pay it all so we consider the scholarship money they get a huge break rather than counting on it. We were prepared to have them take out some loans as well, but haven't needed it.

I realize it doesn't work that well for everyone, and that we are fortunate, However, I do think that people forget this big part of college planning because they are so focused on what they'll get for "free." My kids both know people whose parents simply won't even consider trying to find ways to contribute.

For us, we consider the "sacrifices" we're making to be well worth it as an investment in our kid's future. We're happily eating out less, restricting vacations, putting off projects, etc. Both have gotten some scholarships, but neither of my kids, both honor students in high school and now in college, have been offered the kind of scholarships they would have needed to cover anywhere near their costs if they were on their own.
 
College Confidential has a ton of good information on their website, including a thread listing schools with automatic merit scholarships for kids with the qualifying grades and test scores. I found the information listed there very helpful for my child who entered college this year. Save as much as you can because what you think you can afford and what a college thinks you can afford is very different in many cases ("estimated family contributions" are expected except for the very poor). Run the net price calculators before applying to the schools your son likes and be positive that you have an affordable safety school that your son would be happy to attend in case the costs of the first choice school are too high. Research colleges and costs at least a few years ahead of time so that you have a realistic idea what you can afford and plan your applications accordingly. This is a tougher process than when I went to college in the 80's, so you are very smart to start thinking about college now. Best of luck. Oh, and BTW, see if your state offers any automatic scholarships.
 
Please please *PLEASE* do not get it into his head that a community college is beneath him. If he doesn't get into the school he wants, or if for some reason he can't afford it and doesn't get scholarships, he may end up feeling like he's worthless and stupid because he "only" went to a CC for the first 2 years. CC are actually very good from a financial point of view. No, he won't be in a dorm for the first 2 years, and no, he won't be tempted to join 3 million clubs, but he *WILL* get his first 2 years of general ed classes out of the way, and then be able to transfer to a four year school to finish. This is the route I'm taking. When I get my degree, it will say "UWF", not "2 years at RCCC, 1 year at GCSC, 2 years at UWF". Unless he's planning on going into a highly specialized field, there isn't a whole lot of difference between the various accredited universities. An accounting program at one school will be pretty much the same as an accounting program at another; yeah, the extra classes that are offered may have a different focus (my school has tourism/hospitality, which makes sense because it's on the Gulf Coast of Florida), but in general I will learn the same things that kids at Yale learn ... and pay about 1/4 the price. The Yale diploma might be more "prestigious", but for the vast majority of fields it's not *THAT* big of a deal.

Definitely check with the high school to see if any of his classes will be dual enrollment classes. We had a few kids graduate from HS with an AA degree from the local community college because they took enough (and the right) dual enrollment classes ... and they didn't have to pay for those. So they basically got 2 years of college out of the way for zero cost.

Keep up the volunteering, keep up with the honors programs at school. Both of those will open up more scholarship opportunities. And don't overlook the small scholarships. $500 a semester might not sound like much, but you'd be amazed how much food a person can stretch that into, and if you can get 3 or 4 small ones, it does add up.

I get what you are saying, and I agree - honest I do. I went to community college, too, before finishing my BA with the University of Michigan. My degree says "University of Michigan" ;)

Here's the thing - my parents pushed and pushed for us to get good grades, etc, all though school, and we did. Then they totally dropped the ball on us. There were no campus visits...no research...no talks with the guidance counselor...I will never forget the winter day my senior year when I got an information packet from a major university in my state, and I was so excited. I showed it to my mom and said I wanted get started with my application as soon as possible. She laughed and asked me how I expected to pay for it...she didn't even offer to give me the $25 application fee or help me with the FAFSA form!! (And trust me, I was not an entitled 17 year old by any means. My mom left us when I was 12, and I spent my teen years raising my 4 younger siblings while my dad worked 12-14 hour days to support us and not even having so much as lunch money unless I earned it myself babysitting the neighbor kids. After a couple of years of not seeing our mother, we started to see her a little more regularly. There were no substance abuse issues or anything like that....she just selfishly wanted her own life *not* raising kids.)

I am proud of myself for putting myself through college the community college way, and if it so has to be that my kids do the same, I am OK with that. BUT, I will not just accept that this is the way things will be...anything that I can do to help my child go to his #1 school of choice (University of Michigan), I will try to do. The only bad thing is...now we live in a different state, and U of M will be out of state now for him.

The *good* thing is, we now live in the west Chicago suburbs, which is a very easy train ride to the city to universities like UIC, Northwestern, Loyola, University of Chicago, etc...so he could easily commute and save that way.

Thank you so much for all of your advice! I really appreciate it! Good luck with the rest of your studies!
 
I know how hard it is to pay for college. However, I just don't understand why, if it is so important to you that your son attend his dream college, that you are just now considering how you are going to pay? The budget suggested for the University of Michigan for an out of state student is over $53,000 a year for freshmen/sophomores! It goes up for the last two years.

You really should start discussions with your son that he needs to consider an in state school, public university (many of the in state schools you mentioned are private, $$$).
 

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