Need Advice

[SageFemme]

This year, my mom and grandma wants to take my 4 yr old daughter to WDW for her first time. Without me and my fiance, Titus. Titus and I are planning a honeymoon there without my daughter for the first week of Jan. 09. We also plan to have a family vacation there sometime next year or early Jan. 2010. I told my mom that I want my daughter's first time to WDW to be with me and she got very upset. Should I let her go ahead and take her or wait till we can take her ourselves? That makes ME upset that my fiance and I are not invited and that I won't get to experience my daughter's first excitement and awe.

Any words of wisdom?

 

[natenapril]

I would not let them take my child for her 1st visit. I still remember they way my daughters eyes lit up the first time she saw the castle and I would NEVER want to miss that.
How about asking them if they would go with you on your trip that you have planned as a family?

 

[thegrimdwarf]

Simple - if you don't want her to go with your mother and grandmother, don't let her. You're the parent, you get to decide what's best for your child. When it comes to your child, a parent doesn't need to spend any time worrying what someone else is going to think of your decisions. If your mom and grandmother are peeved, they'll need to get over it.

I went through this a year ago with my mother and her desire to take my son to WDW. I didn't even have to think about it before I told her no. She was bent, and she survived.

 

[eeyoremum]

I would have to say wait. She is your daughter so you should do all the "firsts". If you want to have your mum and grandmum there too great but you should be the first to see her excitement. I also would not let them "guilt" you into changing your mind if you really have strong feelings about it.

My MIL and husband took my son to see Santa WITHOUT my knowledge and consent when he was a baby. Not quiet the same thing but I was not pleased.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

I would say no...definately wouldn't want to miss that moment with my child.

 

[kimbac3]

I'm with everyone else. I'd say No too. The first time is so memory making and it should be with you!!

 

[SageFemme]

Thank you everyone for the quick replies! I'm sure I would stick to my word regardless, but it does help a lot that others believe the same thing I do.

 

[mom2aredhead]

I told my mom that I want my daughter's first time to WDW to be with me and she got very upset.

She got very upset...And? She'll never speak to you again? She'll never see your child again? She won't babysit if its not in WDW or on her terms?

She'll get over it.

I've had some issues with my mother overstepping boundaries too. You need to lay ground rules early.

And (not that it matters AT ALL) but do you live near Disney, or would this trip involve your mother taking your child on a plane or in the car for hours on end? If it does, it shouldn't even be a question.

 

[SweetPeasMom2]

I'm big on firsts and being a part of them. These are my children. They will only be children once and for so long. I gave birth to them and that gives the first rights to experience special firsts. Sometimes I'm gracious enough to invite others (grandparents, aunts, etc) to experience those firsts too. Sometimes not.

No way would I allow my child(ren) to experience WDW without their father and I for the first time.

 

[SageFemme]

And (not that it matters AT ALL) but do you live near Disney, or would this trip involve your mother taking your child on a plane or in the car for hours on end? QUOTE]

Yes it would. We live in OK.

My mom and grandma both have issues with control and overstepping boundaries and always have and it has not gotten any better. They try to make me feel extremely guilty and like I'm possesive of my daughter but it is MY daughter. My mom, grandma, and ex-MIL all fight over seeing her. I'm glad she has so many people wanting to see her but it is extremely tiring to have to hear, "Why can't I see her?", "X had her last Saturday!! It's my turn!", etc. etc. I've gotten into so many heated arguments over that and them feeding her things I don't want them to and not disciplining her that I asked my fiance if I should just stop letting them see her for a while and he said no. I just don't know. I was a teen mom and needed a lot of help so now they feel a lot of entitlement. That's where it stems from.

 

[Bethy Lou]

I would never let my mother take my daughter there first either. Disney is a big tradition in our house, but I would have told my mom that she experienced my first time and I want to experience my daughter's first time as well. If she gets upset she will get over it, I have had to put my mom in her place when she crossed the line and we still love each other!

 

[Cloudwatcher]

I had this happen to me too. My mom and dad wanted to take my DD3 there last summer and I wouldn't let them because DH and I had our trip already planned. They would have let us come too, but we wanted her first time to be with JUST US. So now we are leaving on Monday for our trip and then DD and I will be going with my family in July also. My parents where mad but they understood that she is my child and I want to see her first.