Need Advice On Moving To Another Country

[TiggerPiglet]

Well, my husband told me last night that he may be asked to move to France or Japan for three years. This would happen July 2005. He said right now they're just options, not necessarily what will happen, but he wanted to know how I felt. Of course, my reaction was no way, which made him upset that I was being so narrowminded and not even considering it. So, anyway, he does have a point so I knew there were people on these boards that have had to move out of the country for a time and was wondering how it was. I guess I'd like to know, did you feel alienated, alone? Were you able to fit in right away? I also have children who will be almost nine and six at the time of the move. They'll be going into the fifth and first grade at the time of the move. So, of course I'm concerned about schooling, how does that work. I'm also concerned about the language barrier. Like for instance, if God forbid there's an emergency with my children, how do I communicate with the doctors? Am I making too much out of this? Am I depriving my children of a great experience? I know I'm basing my decision emotionally and not factually, that's why I'd thought I would ask to see how people who have actually done this felt about it. I'd also like to hear from people who haven't done this what their reaction would be to this, would you want to go or not and why.
Needless to say, I did not get very much sleep last night thinking about this. So, any feedback, good or bad, is much appreciated.
Thanks

 

[jrydberg]

As far as schooling, there are plenty of English language schools throughout the world. Japan and France both have more than their share (for example, the American School of Paris ) .

When I was in high school, my dad got transferred to the German office of his company. I can't speak a whole lot about Japan, but France wouldn't be that much different from Germany in regard to having schools, doctors and medical facilities nearby where language wouldn't be a big deal.

My family's reaction to the news was similar to your own. None of us were happy about it initially. But it worked out just fine. There were negatives to it, certainly (not the least of which was being a long way away from my good friends). But there were a lot of positives too. Where else do you get to go on a school trip to Berlin or hop over to London for the weekend

Good luck with everything

 

[campinggal]

WOW- what an opportunity!!!

You bring up some very valid concerns but ones that can very easily be overcome in both of the countries that your husband might be transferred to. If your choices were 'less westernized' then your concerns would be more difficult to over come.

Regarding schools- both countries have international or American schools to offer. Your husband can probably negotiate the tuition as part of his relocation package. You could also choose the 'total immersion' route with your kids- at that age, they will be sponges and pick up the language (particularly French) in no time. My DD (age 7) just had a classmate return from just six months in Paris attending a french school and his is conversationally fluent. Sure, the first month was hard but each month after got better and better.

Both countries probably have 'American' type clubs that can provide you with lists of English speaking resources- Drs etc.

Growing up, I lived in Belguim for three years (grades 6, 7 & 8). At the time, it was no big deal- I attended the International School of Brussels, went to french speaking camps in the summer and was with my family. We did some great traveling that I just took in stride at that age- sure we drove to Paris for the weekend multiple times as it was only 3 hours away but it was kind of like any other roadtrip to me. I value the experience even more the older I have become. I really look back on those three years as really shaping who I am today. It gave me a great perspective on people. OK, so can you tell I loved it??

My Dad also did another stint overseas in London about 10 years after our Belgium stint. My step sisters were 7th and 8th grade and also feel it was a positive experience for them.

Your children will probably adapt the quickest- playing with other kids is so universal (not trying to be philosophical but it is true) and they will be with their family. The connections your kids make will open the door for you as well.

Three years is a nice time frame as it really allows you to take full advantage of the situation. I had friends from school that were only there one or two years and that time frame seemed more disruptive.

Hope this helps. It is a great opportunity but only if it is right for you and your kids.

Good luck!

 

[minniepumpernickel]

I lived on a base in Okinawa Japan. A lot of things were Americanized there. What part of Japan were you guys considering?

I would say that you should familiarize yourself with the language and customs as much as possible. Listen to language tapes, it seems easier to learn that way.

To be honest with you, I have found that so many people speak English as a second language in foreign countries. So that may ease your fears a bit!

I have always managed to fit in, during my travels in other countries. I have never experienced any feelings of alienation quite the contrary. Most people were overly nice to me. This was pre-9/11 though.

It sounds like an adventure! Good luck in whatever you decide.

 

[LindaR]

I was in the Air Force for 8 years. If all you think about are "negative" things, you will easily have a rotten time and make life miserable for your family.

Look at this as a three year "vacation"!!!!! You have the opportunity to explore and learn about another country and culture.

I used to tell my airmen (who were unhappy about being stationed in the desert) that if all you focus on is what's "lacking" about the place you are at, your tour will be long and miserable. If you look for the new and different (from the last place you lived) and are willing to seek out new experiences, then your time will fly by and you will be glad that you got the chance to try something new.

Think positive! This could teach your family alot and you will have mature kids who are well rounded.

By the way, think about all the military families who move constantly and have no choice about where they go.

 

[Carl]

It would be a great experience - and don't forget you can still keep in touch with us via the internet.

 

[vernon]

I lived in Kuwait and Bahrain for a number of years. DD #1 was born in Bahrain and was schooled there up to age 5.

As has been said there are American or English schools in all the big cities ( and a lot of smaller ones as well). Obviously if you're DH is being posted to a missionary position up in the back of beyond it's not going to be as easy as if you're in Paris or Tokyo.

A coupel of pieces of advice I would give that may not be in the "guide books" are
1) Make sure you register yourselves on the books of the American consulate. If you were to get into any trouble the consulate will find it much easier to help you if you are known to them.
2) Make use of any social activities the consulate, school or social clubs offer. Even if you're not overly interested in that particular activity you could find yourself paired with someone who shares an interest that you would like to become involved in.

Me experience abroad taught me that, for some wives no matter how privilaged their position is, if they have arrived determined they are going to hate the experience and that they will miss their mum,sisters or friends they have a difficult time and are invariably miserable. Those that arrive with a positive attitude and look to make the most of the opportunity invariably have a great experience as do their children.

IMHO of the two Japan would be the more difficult of the two postings,English is reasonably widely spoken, but not as fluently as in France. In Europe you would find the majority of the people will speak basic English, many will speak better English than many British or Americans LOL.

IMHO Japan is a facinating country and it would be an opportunity to learn a lot about that culture as well as travelling in the Far East. France would be a fantastic place from which to explore Europe. Italy, France and Spain in particular all offer an increadable opportunity for you and your kids to expand their cultural knowledge.

 

[marymrg]

Another thing I would need to find out is the ability to "fly home" to visit family. My brother lives in a foreign country and is able to get a lot of vacation time. Most of it he uses to travel to other countries but makes it back to the States at least once a year.

 

[TiggerPiglet]

Thank you everyone for your responses and all of the information you have given me, I can't tell you how helpful you all have been. It looks like all of you think this will be a great experience. I know my apprehension about going is emotional. Leaving family and friends behind is pretty upsetting to me, but LindaR and Vernan, you definitely have a point about going there with a bad attitude. There would be no way I would enjoy it if I go there hating it and not even giving it a chance. So far moving is just a possibility, but if we were to go, we definitely would choose Paris.

Minniepumpernickel, the part of Japan we would have to go to is Tokeyo (sp?).

Marymrg, my DH's company will pay for us to fly home twice a year, so I definitely would take advantage of that.

I've been thinking about the positives of going and of course the best one I came up with was Disneyland Paris

Thank you again and I'll definitely let you guys know what happens. Like I said, if it does happen, it would be July 2005, so it might be a little while before we know for sure.

 

[faithinkarma]

My son was very seriously injured in an accident in France. I flew over to be with him for several weeks until he could leave the hospital. Fortunately I speak French. But the accident occurred on a Contiki tour, and several dozen other young people were also seriously injured. They were mainly from Australia. There was always someone at the hospital who could speak English to those who did not understand the language.

I know this seems like a very daunting experience, but it could well be a most positive one for your family. Good luck.

 

[Rajah]

Tokyo has Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo DisneySeas.

You need more of an excuse to go?





Joking aside, I think it would be a *great* opportunity!

 

[mep319]

My sister, nephew and bil just moved to Germany Thrusday...he works for the government and will be gone 2-3 yrs. After that he may have to go to Japan before finally returning state side. As much as I will miss her I am somewhat jealous as it is a great opportunity and something I always dreamed of doing...me the International Relations major...her the biology major...doesn't seem fair! lol! I also can't wait to visit!...take advantage of the opportunity...I think it will be amazing!

 

[vernon]

I've been thinking about the positives of going and of course the best one I came up with was Disneyland Paris

You forgot Tokyo Disney !!!! . I believe Disneysea in Tokyo has the most technically advanced rides of any Disney park world wide. http://www.tokyodisneyresort.co.jp/index_e.html