Need advice on a hard choice, not dis related!! need opinions from mom's!!

[mask_w03]

I'm a stay at home mom and have been for the past year. I have the chance to either stay home and get as much quality time I can with DD while she is little since she is going to be our only child (no flames had a rough pregnancy) or I can be a nanny 5days a week and bring DD with me to watch a 4mo old little one. It would be 5days a week 9am to 6pm so full time.

Yes we can deal without the extra cash, but yes the extra cash would be nice also.

What would you do, I'm having a very hard time deciding if this is what I would want to do. My hard part is thinking that DD would be in this persons house without all her toys and her bed and out of her area she is used to, but I could bring in some extra money.

Thanks

 

[Lindy Loo]

how old is your DD? Can you talk to her, in simple terms about this? I have only 1 dd aged 4 now. we wont be having any more kids, i stayed at home for 2 yrs, then had a chance to work part time. in simple terms, very simple we discussed with DD. She wanted to go to florida, so we explained about me working, and she was cool with it. you still will be with her, so it wouldnt be like "going" to work. could you give it a trial run?? It might be nice for her to have someone to play with as they grow up ? My DD LOVES "helping" when I babysit.

Tough call....................

 

[loveysbydesign]

I was a Nanny while pregnant, took 3 months off and then nannied again. My kids are now almost 7 and 3 1/2. After I had my 2nd child I started to watch my kids in my home. You're very lucky to find someone who will let you bring your dd along, plus it's a great way for her to learn to become a good mommy when she's older. I say Go for it!!!!

 

[hollyb]

Before kids I was a live in nanny for 15 years. I took 13 months off then I went back. DS had a built in best friend. It was the best thing for us. When I was pregnant with DD my boss made a nursery just for her. I loved the family I was with.

I think you really have to find a family that is right for you. I got the best of both workds. Full time mom and also making nice money for our family.

The worse thing that could happen is you find out it isn't the best for you and you quit.

Good luck.

 

[ktink]

Well #1 would you enjoy doing this? I mean if the extra $ isn't a necessity then just decided if this is a commitment you want to make. For me DH makes a very comfortable living and I tried staying at home but it wasn't for me or my dd's. They enjoy interaction w/ other kids and I enjoy my job. I work at a bank so there you have the infamous "banker hours". But this is alot of hours that you would have to put in away from home and I can tell you're really torn. If it were something you seemed more excited about I would say go for it. But I think your heart is w/ your dd full time. But just try and have a family discussion. Good luck.

 

[PaulaSue]

Go for it!!! I used to be a nanny and my friend (was a nanny befoe her DD too) did that after her DD was born. Besides if it doesn't work out after a few months you can stop.

 

[2tinkersmom]

I did this too for a while when my first dd was about one year old, watched a three month old boy. I thought my dd would be fine with it and she was at times but then it really got to be a problem because the baby took a lot of my time and she didn't get mommy time as much. So I ended up having to stop because I didn't want her to be missing something just so I could make some extra money (although at that time we really needed the money so it was a hard decision but the right one).

I have at various other times watched other people's children along with my own. It can be very fun for your child to have a playmate or to learn how to take care of a younger child with you. I have found it really helpful when I have known the family for a while before caring for the children. Its important to know the child's temperment, the way the other parents handle situations like sleeping, discipline, eating, etc.

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

I know you said you could bring your daughter there, but just curious what you would do if your daughter was sick. The job may seem ideal, but it is alot of hours. Of course, if you have a good back up system, then it might not be a problem. We had no back up babysitters when our children were sick ( grandparents had cancer so they could not be around sick children due to low immune systems).

I also think it may be not fair to the people depending on you to watch their child. Either when your child is sick or even if you try it for a few months.

Tough decision. Good luck with it.

 

[wrldpossibility]

There's no reason you couldn't ask for a "trial" period of a few months. The family would probably want one too, just to make sure it all works out. You will get some extra $$, your DD will get a built-in "sibling" during the day, and you still get to be with DD all the time. One thing that would decide it for me: can you still have your DD do any or all activities you enjoy with her now? For instance, is the family ok with you taking the baby along to the park, library, toddler gym class, whatever? Or do they want you at the house all day, every day? That would decide it for me.

I have a similar decision to make: whether to watch my friend's two DDs part time at my house. I have 3 of my own, so for me, the question is can I manage all of them, and like I said, can I still let them all enjoy their activities they love. Obviously we can't do everything, but the $$ would be great. Good luck deciding!

 

[jennilouwho]

I've nannied the same twins for the last 4 1/2 years. They are now 5. Their mom just had another baby and I am expecting my first next month. The oldest kids will be in kindergarten in the fall. I am switching to part time 11-4 everyday, but we have decided to give it a try. I'm off for three months right now and then I'll start back up in July. If you think you can handle it, it could be a good experience for your DD. I decided it'd be nice for my baby to have a playmate and I've been with the family so long that they are very flexible and we both have similiar parenting styles so I think it will work out. I would definately do a trial period before fully committing to it. Then you'll know if you are able to give both your child and her child the attention they need. We're even kind of doing that when I start back up again. If I feel like my baby is getting much more attention than their baby, I will no longer nanny for them as I don't think it would be fair to their child.

 

[4theloveofdisney]

If you don't need the money, I wouldn't bring the aggravation, and there will be some - especially jealousy - for the world! Stay at home with your child and enjoy it. You will NEVER get this time back. *If however, this money is a factor, then you must do it.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

I have an "only" and I did in home day care when my DS was little. It is really hard for a only child to have to share mom with someone that is not a sibling. It is also really hard to care for another child that is not yours and give then the exact same love and care you are giving your own child which you must do when they see the love and care that your child is getting. Looking back sometimes I am glad that I did it but other times I wish I had not made my DS share mommy so much. We did need the money but if it was not an issue I would not take the job and just enjoy those few precious years with your child.

 

[JennyW]

I second the post that says, "Would you enjoy it?" If you and your daughter would enjoy it, go for it. Otherwise, it might be really nice for you to spend some one on one time with your own child while she still lets you. =) We've got two kids, and you just can't do the same things when there are two. You can't give your full attention to either one of them.

jenny

 

[1stWDWtrip]

If you don't need the money, I wouldn't bring the aggravation, and there will be some - especially jealousy - for the world! Stay at home with your child and enjoy it. You will NEVER get this time back. *If however, this money is a factor, then you must do it.

I agree. If you do not need the money, then don't do it. There will be problems at one time or another. Also, people say you can try it for a few months then quit if it does not work out. I feel that this is a bad choice. If there are any doubts, why confuse your schedule, daughter's, AND this baby's? Even though the baby is young, they do not like to keep adjusting to new people coming in and out of their lives and disrupting things.

Just my opinion.

If you feel that you would like the extra money, maybe you could just watch a child or two for a few hours per day in your own home?? Then you would still be home with your child, she would have her own stuff, and you would not be taking too much time away from her and your "normal" schedule. And, you would still make a "few extra bucks" to tuck away for a rainy day!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would say that if you don't need the money then don't do it. I agree with the PP's in that you would have to give this child the same love and attention as your own child and that can be hard. It's also not fair to the family to try it for a few months and then quit. I know someone who's Mom babysat when they were growing up and they hated it. It was in their own home and they just didn't always want to be around other kids. As far as a playmate- maybe you could join a playgroup at the library or church. They are usually free and you can meet some Moms in your neighborhood. JMHO. I know it is a hard decision to make. Good Luck!

 

[daisyduck123]

If you don't need the money...I would not do it.

9 hours a day is a long time.
If the hours were shorter, I might consider it...but no way...I teach & get home at 4:00 each day, & that's late enough for me.

I know when my DD was little...we enjoyed doing special things together thruout the week....RumbleTumbleTots, playgroup, ballet, etc.
All of these are things I would not want to take someone else's child to on a weekly basis (running them around town).

 

[PaulaSue]

I am so suprised at all the negative comments.

You will have to let us know what you decide.

 

[SaintsdoDisney]

If you do not need the money, then don't do it. There will be problems at one time or another. Also, people say you can try it for a few months then quit if it does not work out. I feel that this is a bad choice. If there are any doubts, why confuse your schedule, daughter's, AND this baby's? Even though the baby is young, they do not like to keep adjusting to new people coming in and out of their lives and disrupting things.

I agree completely. I think a trial would be too stressful not only for you and your dd, but also for the other family. They probably would like to find someone that would be around for a while.

I think that you and your your family would have to be sure that the money is worth the time invested, as well.

Tough decision.....

 

[JennyW]

You could offer to be a backup care provider. Like the other person said, you'd make a little extra money occasionally, but you'd be free to do your own thing most of the time. I'm sure that the mom will need some backup help every once in a while.

jenny

 

[Kelnstephen]

I'm having the same problem DD is 8 months and I work full time but have been getting home around 6 p.m. most evenings after I pick up DD those are Bankers hours and she gets dropped off at 745 we leave the house at 715 long day. I have been thinking of going part time we can't really afford it but at the same time. It's a very long day for DD in Dayare. What would be yor opnion?

KELLY