Need advice, husband will not get wheelchair

[dustysky]

Hi everyone

We will be heading to MK for a 1 day trip with family from out of state. I am super excited because we have not been in a while and I need a Disney "fix".
Here is my/our problem.
My husband has recently been put on disability due to a blood clotting disorder. He has had his fair problems with this including 7 arterial bypass surgeries.
At this point his main issues are walking and standing for long periods of time and climbing stairs. After walking or standing for about 20 minutes his hips will lock up and cause him a great deal of pain.
If you were to see him, you would think there was NOTHING wrong with him. Because of this, he refuses to get a wheel chair or ECV. He says people will just think he is lazy.

I just read a little about the GAC (never heard of it till today) at the risk of him being upset with me for telling customer service his "issues" would this even be something that would help him be able to enjoy his day at the park a little more??

This brings me to the real question ..... why are men so stubborn???

 

[bidnow5]

I don't look like I need a wheel chair or scooter but the best thing I ever did was to start renting scooters. I am a big guy so pushing me around in a wheel chair would be tough.
I used to have to stop every 10 minutes and it slowed everyone down and made for a lot of nasty looks from my daughters because we didn't go on as many rides as we could have.
I started renting scooters for my family it made the vacation so much more enjoyable for everyone. Tell him to stop thinking about himself and start thinking about what would be best for everyone

 

[KPeveler]

A GAC will not help, as Disney's answer for mobility or stamina concerns is that you rent a wheelchair or scooter. A GAC would not really help you anyway, as it does not shorten distances walked or waited.

Also, he would have to be there standing with you to get a GAC - CMs will not issue GACs to people who are not there at the time...

I am sure others will come along with suggestions on how to convince him!

 

[clanmcculloch]

You're going to have to be blunt with him and point out that he's being selfish by refusing to use a wheelchair. He will limit the rest of you from being able to enjoy MK. He needs to get over himself and realize that this isn't just about him. No I'm not normally mean but this is how I talk to people who get caught up in the embarrassment factor rather than realizing that their actions affect those around them. He needs to do it for YOU if he won't do it for himself. Men like to fix problems. He's CREATING a problem with his refusal to use a wheelchair and the fix is to use one.

A GAC can not transport you from place to place and most rides are already accessible and alternate entrances require just as much distance as the regular entrances. There really is nothing that a GAC can do to help.

 

[nanadeb]

Just tell him an ECV is a power tool and he can pretend he is Tim the Toolman Taylor.
If that doesn't work, tell him to pretend he is riding a riding lawnmower.
It's all in the imagination, and Disney World is the place to use your imagination!
Vrooom!

 

[Tosie]

Hugs, Lori!

My dh has MS and has said on numerous occasions that he will never get a scooter or wheelchair - so I understand your frustration. (So far, we haven't had the necessity, but you can bet your bottom dollar his behind WILL be in a chair or scooter should the need arise.)

Soooo...if it was my dh, I would simply ask him if he was more concerned about what *other* people were thinking (strangers he would probably never encounter again) than his own family's good time?

Maybe it's because we live with an "invisible disease" but I have never once looked twice at anyone in a wheelchair or scooter. As far as I'm concerned, if they're in it, they need it. I don't care why.

In answer to your question - men are stubborn because we let them get away with it.

 

[kaytieeldr]

A GAC can not transport you from place to place and most rides are already accessible and alternate entrances require just as much distance as the regular entrances. There really is nothing that a GAC can do to help.

Perfect example: Soarin'. Everybody traverses the same quarter mile to get from the attraction entrance to the ride vehicle. Even having a GAC doesn't shorten the distance walked or time spent standing - although a Fastpass might reduce the time, but not the distance. And even a GAC has no effect on the distance or time exiting the attraction; perhaps not a quarter mile, but still lonnnng.

Tell him not to give a rat's patoot about what a bunch of strangers think. Tell him a wheelchair or ecv will enable him and his family to enjoy their own vacation, and THAT'S what matters.

 

[POOHsie]

My situation is very much like your husband's (7 artery bypass surgeries, 4 stents, 1 amputation). I didn't start off using a wheelchair/ecv. It was a gradual acceptance of my snail's pace, and pain while I waited for my blood to resume flowing to my limbs. I saw that others around me were exasperated. I have an ecv now that I keep loaded in the car, and a wheelchair at home. I have moved my life mainly to the first floor of my house.

Although you are excited about getting a one-day Disney fix, you are faced with the reality of sharing your life with your physically disabled husband. Maybe he will or will not get the wheelchair. EITHER WAY, it will be slow going for you BOTH at Disney. Possibly your family can sometimes go explore at their own pace and every once in a while check in with you two.

It will be physically impossible for your husband to keep up with your group if he walks. If he gets the wheelchair, it will also be impossible to keep up because he has to propel it (with blood flow compromised) or you have to propel him in the hot sun (wheelchair is heavy and it will tire you out). If you get an ecv, the speed is set slow, and people cross right in front of you and never see you because you are so low to the ground. So ecv travel is slow, also.

Be grateful that your husband has survived his health crises, and cherish your days together above all else.

 

[peemagg]

I think if I were you I would put it to him this way: "Fine if you don't want a wheelchair or ECV, then so be it, but if you start complaining about being in pain or start getting a nasty attitude(this tends to happen when people are hurting. I know it happens to me), you will have two choices. 1 go and rent a wheelchair or ECV or 2. sit here on this bench and we will come back and get you when we are ready to leave. The choice is yours to participate or not. You are not going to ruin the fun of the rest of us, just because you are too stuborn to use the devices you need to in order to have fun."

Something along these lines might just snap him into reality and out of his state of pride.

 

[dustysky]

Thanks everyone. I didnt think the GAC was anything that would help our situation, but thank you for clearing that up.

We are going to see how it goes and play it minute by minute ...... no sense in me getting him or me all upset before we even get there

 

[KPeveler]

Keep the number of some off site scooter and wheelchair rental places with you - they are less expensive and i think he will want them by the end of the first day.

 

[Schmeck]

Go on Bing or Google maps, zoom in to WDW, and show him the distance from the monorail, ferry, or bus stop to the first attraction - it's really, really, really far. No GAC will accommodate for that walk through the ticket booths and security, and down Main Street to the nearest attraction. And that's just the beginning of your day.

Why are men so stubborn about this?

 

[Eeyore5]

I said the same thing before I went a year and a half ago. I have very mild cerebral palsy (it is hard to tell I have it) and I don't use any mobility aid normally. I was so miserable after the first evening that I agreed to rent a ECV. I will have one lined up before I go next November. I had to wait until the afternoon of the next day to get the ECV because of when the company could deliver it (my mom already had one through the same company because of severe arthritis). I couldn't straighten my legs for 4 days because of the pain.

My advice is go to your local mall with him with and see how long he can wander the mall with you. Let him know that is all how will be able to handle at Disney World and ask if that is enough time. It is hard when you are independent day in and day out to accept limitations.

I was hesitant to use the ECV because of my pride in being independent and knowing that I don't look disabled. I got over my foolish pride quickly.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Please ask the following questions. Here are the suggested answers to go with them.

1. Are you disabled (even temporarily)? Yes.

2. Do the people you are traveling with, such as your family, know you are disabled? Yes.

3. Do you expect to meet anyone you know during this trip who may not know you are disabled. Probably No!

4. Do you expect to meet a bunch of people who you will probably never meet again in your life? Probably yes!

5. Is there any reason at all that you should care what these people think about you? Absolutely No!!

6. Will using a wheelchair or ECV make for a better vacation for you and your family? Absolutely YES!

 

[Deesknee]

I understand your husband & your views.

What worked for me mostly was the embarrassement if I actually fell. AND my dd pointing out, (every time we went anywhere) people that were in wheelchairs that didn't "appear" to need them

I'm 47 and looke perfectly healthy (although chubby). I fought getting a chair for awhile. I hate the thought of everyone thinking either I'm lazy or I'm trying to get something (shorter waits in lines) out of "playing" it. I finally gave in. In my case, it doesn't make that much of a difference to my comfort level, but for my family it is so much easier. I am constantly in danger of falling. We all still have adjustments when I use it, including looks from others. DH has to adjust to letting me get in & out of it and letting me walk at times. He hates that.
I have to agree with pp about the difficulty of pushing a wheelchair. It adds to the heat factor, people walk right in front. DH almost tipped me once on the trolley tracks. DH tends to forget I'm now about 2 feet tall, so I can't always see from my angle what he sees from his.


Honestly, I am still subconcious. I hope things work out. It has taken 1 full year for my family to adjust to the fact that sometimes I need a chair. and DH sometimes still forgets if he's pushing, he's in control of which direction I am looking. He often says look at that as he turns too look, but keeps walking with me facing forward. But, he never complains about pushing me.

 

[kaytieeldr]

DH sometimes still forgets if he's pushing, he's in control of which direction I am looking. He often says look at that as he turns too look, but keeps walking with me facing forward.

"Honey, are you telling me to look at the behind in the too-tight jeans, or the one in the Bermuda shorts showing too much plumber's crack, because that's all I can see from here?"

 

[bopper]

Here are top 5 Reasons that people think they shouldn't get one when they should.

I can't drive one. Go to your local Costco/Walmart/Target or other large store. They probably have an electric cart type thing that you could use while shopping. Try it out. I bet you can drive it.

People might think I don't really need it because I can walk. Are these people going to share the pain with you at the end of the day? Do you care what they think? Save your walking energy between rides and use it for lines or getting on the rides. Enjoy your family and your vacation.

It will slow my family down. No, actually it will speed your family up. No more rests because dad/DH is tired. No more going back to the hotel because grandpa is in pain. No more cranky mommy because she tried to walk miles and miles in Disney instead of renting an ECV. You are completely mobile on your own (nobody pushing you in a wheelchair). What's the slow down here?

It's expensive. Um, how much are you spending on this vacation? Don't you want to enjoy it? If money is that tight, take a day off of your trip and spend that money on the ECV so you can enjoy it!

I don't want my kids/family to think I am disabled. You are either temporarily or permanently disabled in some way if you are even asking about this issue...once again, why not make it a better vacation by saving yourself from pain? Nobody is saying you have to confine yourself to a wheelchair permanently or you should not stop trying to get better. If somebody told you to go walk 4 miles, you would think they are crazy. But you are paying for the privilige when you go to Disney to do just that...why not use an ECV to make your family's vacation better?[/QUOTE]

 

[mickey&minniealways]

My FIL steadfastly refussed to let us get him a wheelchair or scooter. My husband told me to rent him the scooter anyway. It was ready for him at check in at our resort. MIL told him to ride it up to the HH to get her some extra sun screen. If he really didn't like it then he didn't need to use it after that but he couldn't complain for the rest of the trip. Well he loved it and swore to everyone that he would not have enjoyed the trip or been able to do so much if we had listened to what he wanted. Now he tells them to bite the bullet and get the scooter. Hope this helps