Need advice for BIL, who just found out about "Gay Days"

[The Mystery Machine]

OK...BIL just called me worried.

It is his family's once in a lifetime trip to Disney and someone told him about "Gay Days"...he is concerned about his trip. He has 2 girls that are 8 & 10.

So what goes on during Gay Days in the parks? He has images of guys holding hands with shirts off yelling about gay pride. (Someone told him that, btw...)

So when are Gay Days officially, he will be there May 29-June 3.

What should I tell him? Go or change dates? Remember this is once in a lifetime for his family.

 

[Chuck S]

It depends on your BIL, if the chance of seeing a same sex couple holding hands will ruin their vacation, they may want to reschedule. Otherwise, most of the activity takes place during non-public park hours at private ticket events. I would avoid the Magic Kingdom on Saturday, June 3rd. Saturdays are always crowded at MK, and the GayDay crowd adds to that.

 

[LukenDC]

I have not been to Gay Day, but judging from reports from gay and straight people who have been there during that event, it is pretty tame. Attendees wear red shirts to forge a group identity and enjoy the attractions like any other visitor. The event schedule can be found on the Internet and if your BIL is concerned then he should simply skip the park on the date that it appears on the schedule. Many people skip the Magic Kingdom on Gay Days Saturday due to crowd concerns.

As for people removing their shirts and shouting gay pride slogans, I have never heard of that happening and Disney does require proper attire at all times. There are reports of women flashing their bare breasts on Splash/Flash Mountain, but that is a minor year round nuisance targeted to heterosexual men.

Gay people will hold hands and perhaps even give an affectionate peck on the cheek. Gay people work and visit WDW year round, so it's likely that your BIL will see gay couples anytime that he visits.

 

[Chuck S]

BTW, Disney policy is not to allow men to go shirtless in the parks. While you will see people try it throughout the year (it is hot in FL) CMs, if they see it, will tell the guest that they must put on a shirt.

LukenDC is correct, you will see a lot of red shirts, most of them will be benign, some will have somewhat adult double entendres. And as in any large groups, there is a small minority that may be "over-the top", this is true of cheerleaders, sports teams..any large gathering. The vast majority simply wear red shirts, and are there to enjoy Disney.

It really depends on your BILs personal confort level, there is no "right or wrong" answer here.

 

[wallyb]

Why dose no one ever reference -
"Why I’m not going to Gay Days this year"
By Pete Werner DIS Founder/Webmaster
on your own web site in the event section.

I know many don't agree with Mr Werner's opinion but
the fact no one directs people over there to get all sides- when it's on your own site seems odd.

 

[Mama Twinkles]

OP, you are asking gay people to reassure someone who is not comfortable with us that we will not do anything to make him uncomfortable. It is not possible; nor is it our job to put him at ease. We are just living our lives, same as heterosexuals. As a huge and diverse group, we are as well-behaved as any huge and diverse group of heterosexual Disney fans. If he is okay with heterosexuals' holding hands but not with our holding hands, then he should stay home.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No, he had never been to WDW and some guy at work told him a bunch of baloney to scare him. I have never been there that week so I couldn't say if his coworker was crazy or not.
I posted on the CB and people have relayed their experiences.
Thanks for the advice.

 

[disneymom3]

I hope the junk he heard was a lot more than men holding hands cause I have seen that any time of the year at WDW. Heck, I have seen it at the local mall. If he can't handle that he better stay home.

 

[C.Darwin]

he probably wouldn't even know it was gay days if someone hadn't told him. the only day he might notice would be saturday if he went to mk. last year mk wasn't all that crowded on gay day up until mid afternoon.

 

[PattySwind]

[ If he is okay with heterosexuals' holding hands but not with our holding hands, then he should stay home.[/QUOTE]

I think he is worried about his children. I remember being a child in Provincetown, Mass on vacation and asking my mother, loudly, why are those men holding hands? I don't remember my mom answering the question. He probably doesn't want to confuse his children. I have nothing against gay people but I do think discretion should be used when there are small children present.

Patty

 

[MelessaG]

[ If he is okay with heterosexuals' holding hands but not with our holding hands, then he should stay home.

I think he is worried about his children. I remember being a child in Provincetown, Mass on vacation and asking my mother, loudly, why are those men holding hands? I don't remember my mom answering the question. He probably doesn't want to confuse his children. I have nothing against gay people but I do think discretion should be used when there are small children present.

Patty[/QUOTE]

Well, I think a certain amount of discretion whether gay or heterosexual is called for when there are small children present. On the other hand, I hope my DH and I will be doing a lot of hand-holding on our trip (we will be there those same dates) and if it's OK for us to do so, then it should be OK for everyone. I was there during Gay Days last year and didn't notice anything unusual or out of place. Then again, I wasn't looking for it.

 

[RickinNYC]

I think he is worried about his children. I remember being a child in Provincetown, Mass on vacation and asking my mother, loudly, why are those men holding hands? I don't remember my mom answering the question. He probably doesn't want to confuse his children. I have nothing against gay people but I do think discretion should be used when there are small children present.

Patty

Excuse me, but holding hands with one's partner IS using discretion. Gay does not equate pawing at each other, sticking one's tongue down the other's throat, having public sex in theme parks or doing anything else that might be deemed disgusting behavior. Low class, ill mannered trash does that, both gay and straight.

 

[glass slipper girl]

I think he is worried about his children. I remember being a child in Provincetown, Mass on vacation and asking my mother, loudly, why are those men holding hands? I don't remember my mom answering the question. He probably doesn't want to confuse his children. I have nothing against gay people but I do think discretion should be used when there are small children present.

Why would holding hands be a problem? I am a straight mother of 2 with one on the way and I would never expect a gay or lesbian couple to, for lack of a better way of putting it, pretend not to be a couple because my children are there. When my kids ask questions, I answer honestly. They are holding hands because they love each other. My kids are 4 and 6 now, that answer is fine for them. They aren't going to ask anything that would be potentially uncomfortable for anyone. Even with older kids, if you don't make a big deal about it, they won't think it's a big deal. Your kids aren't going to ask what happens in the privacy of these people's homes any more than they will ask what happens in the privacy of a straight couple's home. If they do ask...answer honestly there too "it's not our business." If your family feels it is something that you need to discuss with them, then have that discussion later on, at home where you can address whatever you feel needs to be addressed. Most kids will be so thrilled with being at Disney that they aren't going to be paying a lot of attention to who is holding hands with who.

Having been there for Gay Days, I would say tell your brother if he is concerned, to take a look at the schedule and just plan to be in a different park on the days they are scheduled to go to a given park. You may still see red shirts and gay/lesbian parents there but you know what...I saw gay/lesbian families on every trip we've been on...Gay Days or not. Unless he plans to take his kids to Pleasure Island one night, it's not likely his kids will be exposed to anything "wild" at the parks. With kids that age I would guess he wouldn't be taking them to PI even if it wasn't Gay Days. We visited during Gay Days and my sons didn't pick up on anything untill my oldest heard a little girl talking to her fathers and asked about that. Simple answers...she has 2 Dads. I mentioned to him his friends who have divorced parents...one who has parents who share custody so he has 2 families and one who lives with Mom and Aunt and Dad lives 2 states away. All families are different, that little girl's family has 2 dads. End of discussion...no further questions from DS.

 

[Saxton]

Excuse me, but holding hands with one's partner IS using discretion. Gay does not equate pawing at each other, sticking one's tongue down the other's throat, having public sex in theme parks or doing anything else that might be deemed disgusting behavior. Low class, ill mannered trash does that, both gay and straight.

Rick makes a good point. Certainly no one wants to see over the top behavior from any couple, no matter what their orientation might be. But hiding behaviors such as holding hands or a simple kiss on the cheek is not using discretion, it's inferring that the behavior is wrong. Maybe if more people saw same sex couples showing affection for each other in a respectful manner then it would become more accepted. Of course there will always be parents who will try to 'protect' their children or teach them that it's wrong, but maybe the next generation would grow up seeing that it's nothing outrageous, just a normal part of life and love.

 

[majortom]

I know many don't agree with Mr Werner's opinion but
the fact no one directs people over there to get all sides- when it's on your own site seems odd.

For the same reason I would not refer people to Fred Phelps's Anti Gay site. I think just about everything he says on there is wrong.

/carmi

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

He probably doesn't want to confuse his children. I have nothing against gay people but I do think discretion should be used when there are small children present.

What is confusing about two people holding hands?

 

[CanadianGuy]

Having been to GayDay on about 5 different occasions, I have to say on the times I went it was generally pretty tame. I don't recall seeing anything too over the top. Mind you, the times I went were before the giant circuit party and three days of non-stop rave/dance stuff.

This upcoming GayDays will be my first return since 1999, so it will be an interesting comparison to be sure.

I would say simply plan around the MK on Saturday June 3 and you should be just fine.

On another note - I went and read the article by Pete Werner and I don't completely disagree with him. I could easily imagine a scenario where I might disagree with the behavior of certain people at the parks that day.

But in my previous experience, it has been a respectful and generally tame thing. Perhaps that *has* all changed.. I won't know till I get there I guess.