need a moan,cry

[ariel75]

I'm so sorry for you, i had this with my DD and it's the worst thing ever to leave them when they are so upset, you just want to cuddle them up but know that's not going to make it any easier, i can't offer any advice as each child is different and with my DD it just eventually stopped i think 6 weeks holiday is too long for them as she never wants to go back after summer hols, i really hope you get this sorted soon and the girls start enjoying school soon.
Lots of

I totally agree with you 6 weeks is too long. My son who is 7 he normally gets upset on the first week of the new term of the summer holidays starting.
This year i was lucky as he had the same teacher as he had in reception so he knew what he was walking into so luckily no tears this year but next year who knows it will more than likely be tears again !!!
Sending you and a for you and you girls

 

[AnitaCB]

Hi Vicky - I do feel for you because Emily's been like this since going back after the summer break. She gets terribly nervous and self conscious and had a little panic attack last week about going to school (she's eight as well).

Anyway, just before the summer hols we had a few upset mornings and I knew something wasn't right. After much probing it turned out a boy was picking on her - nothing major or physical, just alot of stupid name calling - but it really got to her, especially when his posse joined in! I actually spoke to one of Emily's friends mum and she asked her daughter if she knew anything. This is how we found out what was happening. It turned out this boy was picking on several of the girls in the class and a couple of us mums complained about him and the school sorted it very quickly.

The only advice I can give is try to reassure her that you will be there on the dot when the school finishes. She seems fairly anxious about leaving you so perhaps it's partly a separation thing. We had to gently explain to Emily that she has to go to school, there is no choice in the matter. Is there a friends mum you could speak to about it? Does the school have a counselling service or a 'Place to Be' for pupil help and advice? Playtimes are often the flash point for problems because they are never closely supervised so perhaps something is happening then that the teachers or supervisors haven't picked up on.

Whatever it is I really hope it's worked out soon - but don't feel alone. Lots of us have been in a similar situation and it does work out in the end.
for you all and have a lovely weekend.
Anita

 

[Minniespal]

Vicky ~ Sending you some Hope you get it sorted out

 

[Mrs Dazzle]

Bless her, what a shame.

There can often be very simple reasons why children suddenly get 'scared' of school. It can be anything from a friendship group changing, different teacher who leads in a different way, or anxiety about what's happening to you at home.

We have two children at the school I work in who have school time anxiety. One was long and complex to solve - it really was a case of him watching too many wrong movies and becoming terrified that if he left mum something would happen to her when he wasn't around (he had this dread that she would be shot in a bungled bank raid, so much so that he used to become hysterical). He is now a happy, normal year 6 child.

The other little one, a newbie Year 3, being distressed for a couple of weeks and no-one could get to the bottom of it. Normally when the children come down to the office to see me, they are much calmer out of the classroom - and it was just the case with this one. Then I noticed she was struggling to see the screensaver on my pc - bingo, she was scared while in class because her eyesight wasn't so good and she couldn't see the whiteboards, couldn't keep up with the work. She's great now - and loves her new glasses!

I hope you manage to get your daughter back on the happy trail, it's so distressing all around.

Have you spoken in length to her teacher, they often notice or pick up on things which we as parents might not necessarily be aware of.

to you all.

 

[Cyrano]

Hope you manage to work it out. Have they any special friends you could invite to the house to see who they bond with the most As they may well be able to help as Karen suggests

 

[shellbell]

I really feel for you and your DD Vicky, There must be something going on for her to be so upset about going into school. I really hope you get it sorted out soon. Sending you a big DIS hug and some

 

[vicky1bfc]

Thankyou for all your wishes.It's lovely knowing you can come on here for a moan and get some good advice.

Too be honest i'm still at a dead end on it.I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow morning because i don't know what she's going to be like.
She promises me faithfully that nothing's going on at school that i need to be concerned about.She's promised that if it ever does ,she need's to come and tell me.

Reid-We are lucky that we live in a small village where everyone know's everyone and she's always out at friend's house's or they come and call for her.All their friend's live no more than 5 minutes on her bike without her having to cross any main road's.I don't think a evening goes by without them being at one friends or another or friends being at our's.

I will keep you all posted to how we get on in this next week.Thank's again for your thoughts.

 

[wils]

Vicky - How are things this week?

 

[vicky1bfc]

Thanx Jo.The same as last week unfortunatly.She get's to the gate then refuses to actually go in.

On monday she did that then just wouldn't actually go through the gate,i had to go into school and get her headteacher out.She still wouldn't go in.In the end he just got hold of her hand and dragged her in.All the while she's screaming and trying to grab hold of me.It was just the final straw for me and i ran to a friends sobbing.How much of a wimp am i?

He dad took her this morning just to get me a break from it,he said she was a bit teary but he got her in anyway.

I have just got back from the doctors with her(i had done everything else i could think of) and though the doctors not sure whats wrong with her she going Psychologist round here.

 

[wils]

Oh I am sorry Hope the Psychologist will be able to help - sending some just in case it helps!

 

[Graeme]

Hi Vicky,
I've been reading your woes with interest and sympathy because I was just as bad when I was 10 and went to 'big school'. My mam had all the tears, headaches, excuses and even had to come out of work to take me home because I was unwell while there. I had eyetests to try to get to the cause of the headaches, dental checks, everything
Even now, some twenty five years later, I couldn't tell you why I became as bad as I did. When I actually got into the school and into the swing of things I was fine 9 times out of 10. I think that it was probably because the change in environment was so overwhelming. I'd been a prefect in my small junior school, a big fish in a small pond where everyone was friendly. Then when I was suddenly split from my small, comfortable group of friends and put with people I didn't know in a school where we were surrounded by older, more streetwise kids. That's the only plausible explanation I've ever come up with for how I felt at that time.
Could it be that your daughter is feeling the same way? Maybe living in a small village with all her good friends close-by makes being thrust into a school full of other kids very daunting. Especially after the six week break.
Be reassured though that it didn't last long and I did grow out of it, but it did cause a lot of misery for me and my parents at the time. Hope it all starts to smooth out soon for you
Graeme

 

[Graeme]

I've PM'd you. XX