Need a little advice; parenting/school

[mickeylove2]

Ok, so I'll start from the beginning. My DD is 6 and in the 1st grade this year, well last year she had her vision checked at the school and we were told that she was fine, 20/20 vision, no problems. That was at the beginning of the school year, maybe Oct or Nov. So she goes to her annual dr. check up in April and her pediatrician says that she has vision problems, take her to an Opthamologist and he prescribes her a pretty strong prescription.

All this time she has been having trouble in school and noone, including me, ever noticed that she had vision problems. So she's now been wearing glasses for 5 months or so and I get her interim from her new teacher and she has gotten a C in writing and a D in reading. Oh and BTW in July we got a note from the school that they made an error reading her vision test and that we should probably take her to an eye doctor.

I never had to worry about my older DD, she's a straight A student, never even have to really sit with her while doing homework, reading at a higher level, she's in 3rd grade, it's been like this for her since she was very young. So, now I have to go to a teacher conference about youngest DDs grades and I want to scream!

Well, if you made it through that I thank you. Now I ask for advice. How should I approach this with the teacher? I have a feeling she is going to blame it on laziness or something else and I want to make her aware that because of the school's error in her earlier vision test, she spent ALL of her K year not being able to see right so of course she's behind in reading and writing.

Anyway, I know that's not the issue, the issue is how can I help her catch up to her peers? Is there any way that I can get the school to help take responsibilty for this by maybe them providing a reading tudor or additional help during the school day for reading and writing?

TIA

 

[Bren's Mom]

Just so I understand...she's had glasses since April and since she started school in September her grades in reading and writing are still bad so you think it's still a vision problem? I'm a little confused.

Do YOU see a problem with your child's understanding of reading or with her writing? Do you have problems with her doing homework?

Seems to me it would be fairly easy to figure out if she's able to see the work, the board, print in books, etc. on your own. If she can't see, then take her back to the doctor for a different Rx for glasses.

If there doesn't appear to be an issue then this may not be caused by a vision problem.

It won't hurt to talk to the teacher, see what he/she has to say. Perhaps there is something else causing your dd not to do well in reading/writing.

 

[EthansMom]

You really don't need to blame the school for the eye test... it's no one's fault, really... not your faul and not theirs. Be happy that it was caught as early as it was.

If you don't have Parent Teacher Conferences soon, then ask to schedule a meeting with the teacher. Ask the teacher what areas your daughter needs to work on the most. And request support from the school for DD.

Does your daughter need help with her phonics? If so, "Letter Factory" from Leapster is a great DVD (we had it as a "game" for my kids' Leapsters). Both of my kids learned all of their basic phonics in a few short weeks just from that video. Also, I highly recommend the "Now I'm Reading" sets by Nora Gaydos for traditional phonics books.

Our school uses the Handwriting Without Tears program for writing and it's been amazing.

Low grades in early school shouldn't be seen as a failure on the part of the student, but as an area that needs to be improved.

I hope this helps!

 

[Disney Doll]

Realistically, while the school missed the issue, you did as well, so if you go in with the tone that it is the school's fault and they should take responsibility (which is the tone I am getting from your post which may not be your intention and may be the whole "on the Internet we can't really always convey tone or intent" issue), you're not going to make any friends there.

I'd probably say "She had vision issues last year which we all missed which I think put her behind the 8 ball this year as far as her schoolwork is concerned. I don't think she was picking up as much as she should have because she couldn't see. What can we do to help her catch up? Does the school offer any extra help or tutoring? What can I do as the parent to help her catch up? What are your suggestions?"

 

[luvsJack]

I think the OP means that her child is behind because she couldn't do the work in K as a result of her vision problem.

I think your best bet is to talk to her current teacher, let her know that you think she is behind for this reason and ask her what you need to do to help her catch up.

 

[laurie31]

First of all, don't feel bad for not noticing your DD needed glasses. I got glasses in 3rd grade because the teacher sent home the "she can't see the board" note, and Mom was so shocked at how much I couldn't see. Why hadn't I *told* her I couldn't see those things? Well, duh! I didn't know they were there! LOL! I didn't even know our carpet had a pattern - I thought it was a solid color. I was amazed when I first saw the world through my glasses.

Second, just go to the meeting with the teacher with an open mind and hear what she has to say. She may or may not be behind because of what she missed seeing in Kindergarten.

I don't think holding the school responsible is the answer, though. Screening tests are just that. Parents are still responsible for their child's care. I'm one who thinks all children should see an opthamologist every 2 years if they don't have problems, and every year if they do. Not everyone shares my view, though. I don't mean to insinuate that it's your fault. You had the screening from the school that said everything was fine. You did take her when you first suspected a problem.

It is VERY early in her school career, and as EthansMom just pointed out, her grades at this point just show areas she needs more help with, not that she's destined not to get into college or anything.

Just go talk to the teacher and go from there. Maybe she needs tutoring to catch up, or maybe she's not paying attention in class, or maybe it's something else. (again, I'm not trying to point fingers or blame your DD. I have two little girls too - they do like to talk ) I just mean that the problem may NOT be her vision. Don't be so defensive going into the meeting. The teacher (hopefully) wants your DD to succeed as much as you do.

 

[mickeyboat]

First of all, routine vision screening at school is really a courtesy - it should in no way replace the vision screening done at the pediatrician's office, or by an opthalmologist. It is really only going to tell you whether they are blind or not blind.

My pediatrician has been doing this screening since as far back as I can remember. Our opthalmologist said he cannot provide the correct Rx for children without dialating their pupils. K or 1st grade is a good time to take your child for a thorough exam, since reading vision is so important.

Neither our school vision screening nor the pediatrician screening picked up on DD's vision problems. We realized she was having trouble seeing the tv so we brought her to an optometrist who gave her corrective lenses. We have since started seeing an opthalmologist.

I really don't see how you can "blame" the school for your DD having trouble.

As far as what you would like the school to do to help, ask them about their Title I reading program and see if your DD qualifies for extra help. Have a conference with the teacher to see what you can do to help at home. If the vision was the problem, your DD should be improving and should be able to catch up.

 

[Magic Mom]

Ok, so I'll start from the beginning. My DD is 6 and in the 1st grade this year, well last year she had her vision checked at the school and we were told that she was fine, 20/20 vision, no problems. That was at the beginning of the school year, maybe Oct or Nov. So she goes to her annual dr. check up in April and her pediatrician says that she has vision problems, take her to an Opthamologist and he prescribes her a pretty strong prescription.

All this time she has been having trouble in school and noone, including me, ever noticed that she had vision problems. So she's now been wearing glasses for 5 months or so and I get her interim from her new teacher and she has gotten a C in writing and a D in reading. Oh and BTW in July we got a note from the school that they made an error reading her vision test and that we should probably take her to an eye doctor.

I never had to worry about my older DD, she's a straight A student, never even have to really sit with her while doing homework, reading at a higher level, she's in 3rd grade, it's been like this for her since she was very young. So, now I have to go to a teacher conference about youngest DDs grades and I want to scream!

Well, if you made it through that I thank you. Now I ask for advice. How should I approach this with the teacher? I have a feeling she is going to blame it on laziness or something else and I want to make her aware that because of the school's error in her earlier vision test, she spent ALL of her K year not being able to see right so of course she's behind in reading and writing.
Anyway, I know that's not the issue, the issue is how can I help her catch up to her peers? Is there any way that I can get the school to help take responsibilty for this by maybe them providing a reading tudor or additional help during the school day for reading and writing?

TIA

Your DD's vision problem is being managed, so while it's unfortunate that it was undetected by yourself or the school screening, that's water under the bridge and certainly not the fault of her current teacher. So let it go.
As far as your upcoming conference, you are already on the defensive putting words in the teachers mouth before you've even met with her. Go in with an open mind. If she tells you the DD isn't working hard, don't take it as an attack. Just because your first child found school easy doesn't mean this child will too.
Before you go to the conference, write down your questions and your concerns (but not your attacks.) Let her know that you think her vision issues in kindergarten are the reason she is behind, and ask if there are any services your daughter can get to help get her caught up. Believe me, your daughter isn't the only child in first grade that needs a little extra help. Also ask what you can do at home to supplement what they are doing in class.
Parent teacher conferences can be very emotional for the parent, but if you go in on attack mode, you won't get as much accomplished. That doesn't mean you can't stand up for your child, just do it in a way that doesn't put the teacher on the defensive. Don't forget to schedule a follow up meeting so you both can evaluate her progress and make any needed adjustments.
Good Luck.

P.S. We moved to another state before 1st grade. Our new district had full day K and DD only went to 1/2 day K, so she was considerably behind in reading when she started 1st at the new school. We caught it right away and the school provided her with ESS a Title 1 program and she was pulled from class to get extra reading help. By 2nd grade she was caught up and now she is an Honor Roll student in the 5th grade. So don't stress too much, you and the school can turn this around for your DD.

 

[mickeylove2]

Just so I understand...she's had glasses since April and since she started school in September her grades in reading and writing are still bad so you think it's still a vision problem? I'm a little confused.

Do YOU see a problem with your child's understanding of reading or with her writing? Do you have problems with her doing homework?

Seems to me it would be fairly easy to figure out if she's able to see the work, the board, print in books, etc. on your own. If she can't see, then take her back to the doctor for a different Rx for glasses.

If there doesn't appear to be an issue then this may not be caused by a vision problem.

It won't hurt to talk to the teacher, see what he/she has to say. Perhaps there is something else causing your dd not to do well in reading/writing.

Sorry for the confusion...it's not that she is still having a problem with her vision, it's getting better all the time. What the problem is, is that she fell so far behind last year, that she is now trying to play catch up and is not up to the standards of the 1st grade teacher. Does that make sense? I have seen a great improvement with her reading and writing skills since she got glasses but she is still behind her classmates and I think it's just because while they were learning K stuff, she was struggling. She's still kind of struggling because she's learning K and 1st grade at the same time.

 

[disykat]

Certainly notify the school that your dd has vision issues and may have missed instruction because of this.

However, I see no sense in making it the school's fault.

PS - remind me never to volunteer to do hearing/vision screening again! I never knew I would be held accountable if I missed something, I thought I was doing a favor try to catch something.

 

[mjkacmom]

How were her grades at the end of last year? If she didn't learn what she needed to by the end of kindergarten, this should've been addressed last year, so you could work on material over the summer. My 3 oldest had a very easy time up until 4th grade - we never even went over spelling words! All tested into the GT program. My first graders still struggle over some words in their books, and we go over spelling every night, and the first few tests I give them always have some wrong answers. Kids are different.

Does your school have basic skills? If she qualifies, she could be pulled out for extra help. I'm sure you are working with her at home - maybe you could pay a teen to tutor her? Sometimes kids work better with someone other than mom.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Did the teacher request the conference or did you?

I think you are worried about needing to place "blame" for no reason. The teacher needs to go over how things are going with you and what their stratagey is for your dd moving forward. She doesn't want to place blame, and neither should you.

Most schools have a Reading Specialist on staff and it is likely they will want your dd to spend time with her--but they need your permission for that. They may want to do some additional testing to try to identify her specific difficulties and they need your permission for that.

My dd struggled in the beginning and was on the Retention List in 1st grade--we planned to keep her back most of 2nd Semester. But between her having a bit of "growth spurt" academically and the help of a Reading Specialist she blossomed and within just a few months she went from a Pre K reading level to reading above grade level! Now in 4th grade she is reading several grade levels ahead. School is still a struggle for her--it just doesn't come easy like it does for her sister. But she works hard and I have a great relationship with her teachers to work together to help her any way we can.

 

[mickeylove2]

Ok, sorry more confusion, it's that whole internet not being able to express yourself correctly, thing! LOL I'm not meaning to sound defensive, I'm just expecting the worst, ya know? I had a dream that we were in the conference and this came up and of course I'm wanting to defend my DD because I do feel bad for not catching her vision problems earlier. I would NEVER go into a conference in defense mode, I absolutely ADORE her 1st grade teacher, she was my older DDs and I requested her this year. What I guess I am trying to ask more or less is, is there any way to get the school invloved in extra help for her. And hopefully that was answered here because I hadn't heard of the Title 1 program, so I will look into that. Thanks

 

[Magic Mom]

Ok, sorry more confusion, it's that whole internet not being able to express yourself correctly, thing! LOL I'm not meaning to sound defensive, I'm just expecting the worst, ya know? I had a dream that we were in the conference and this came up and of course I'm wanting to defend my DD because I do feel bad for not catching her vision problems earlier. I would NEVER go into a conference in defense mode, I absolutely ADORE her 1st grade teacher, she was my older DDs and I requested her this year. What I guess I am trying to ask more or less is, is there any way to get the school invloved in extra help for her. And hopefully that was answered here because I hadn't heard of the Title 1 program, so I will look into that. Thanks

Title 1 has to do with funding and has low income requirments, so not every school qualifies. I don't know if your school does or not. I would just ask her what programs or assistance they have for lower readers to help catch them up.

 

[mickeylove2]

How were her grades at the end of last year? If she didn't learn what she needed to by the end of kindergarten, this should've been addressed last year, so you could work on material over the summer. My 3 oldest had a very easy time up until 4th grade - we never even went over spelling words! All tested into the GT program. My first graders still struggle over some words in their books, and we go over spelling every night, and the first few tests I give them always have some wrong answers. Kids are different.

Does your school have basic skills? If she qualifies, she could be pulled out for extra help. I'm sure you are working with her at home - maybe you could pay a teen to tutor her? Sometimes kids work better with someone other than mom.

That's the thing, she did well last year, as far as report cards for K go, I requested her attend summer school. She went to summer school and did well there too. Although, I will say that summer school was kind of a joke in my opinion, the only went for 3 hours a day for 4 weeks and she NEVER brought any papers home so I don't know exactly what she did.

Wow, so my DD isn't the only 1 who butts her head with mom??? LOL She is so bull headed when it comes to something that I say...it drives me insane! I could tell her that the grass was green and she would argue till she was blue in the face that I was wrong! Anyway, thanks for the suggestion on the teen tudor, I will look into that.

 

[padams]

I would explain the situation to the current teacher- that dd had undiagnosed vision issues and that she's a bit behind in reading, etc. I'd ask the teacher for help in creating a plan to catch dd up to the class. I would not focus on the school vision test; it's water under the bridge. I also wouldn't be defensive or quick to blame the school. Just be factual and neutral. Ask for information on where she's behind, and make a plan to go forward. Good luck.

 

[dis-happy]

A note to other parents: don't even trust the vision test at the pediatrician's office! That too is only a "screening". When my dd was in 2nd grade I thought she might be nearsighted (it certainly runs in the family) but the nurse at the ped's office who did the vision test said she was fine. Lo and behold, I took her to see a real eye doctor a couple of months later and she had terrible eye sight. I know it couldn't have gotten that bad in such a short time. If you have any concerns about your child's vision skip straight to the eye doctor. At least a test there is definitive.

 

[Debbie7452]

I'm sure your DD will be fine and catch up. Hope you figure out what's going on. My DS did great in K but struggled when he got to 1st grade. He did not care to read at first! His teacher, who always seemed slightly irritated by him, referred him for special ed testing. I agreed to whatever the school wanted to do, although I didn't think he was special ed.

The counselor met with him and told me he definitely didn't qualify and just needed a little time to mature (he was one of the youngest in the class). He caught up just fine. He is in 6th now, still not much of a reader, but gifted in Math & Science. Mostly A's with a B in language arts usually.

I'm pretty sure a tutor would be more helpful than a tudor. Although, I love "The Tudors" on Showtime!

 

[2Kds2K9]

Okay, I didn't take the time to read all the responses. Just wanted to let you know my experience with a similar issue.

In Kindergarten, DS was given the standard hearing and vision screening test. I was told everything was fine. In First Grade, he was having issues, so I took him to the eye doctor and for a professional hearing test. Found out that his eyesight was horrible! Needed a very strong prescription. His hearing test also showed hearing loss in one ear, and significant loss in the other. (He gets fluid build up so he has tubes to keep it clear.)

I immediately asked the doctors how this could have been missed at school. I was told that my DS was great at mimicking. He just did/said what the kid in front of him did at the school screening tests.

Within a few months of getting his glasses, DS commented that things were not as clear. Off to the eye dr again. His precription had changed within 6 months. The dr said that this could happen and that his prescription could change significantly at various times due to growth.

I don't think that I would blame this school for your issues. You just need to stay on top of things with your DD. Ask her if she can see the board clearly. Also, if she was having issues before, it's going to take a bit of time for her to catch up. She will!

Good luck.

 

[golfgal]

My DS14 had 20/20 vision in October of 1st grade, checked by the school and the eye dr by April he needed -2.50 in both eyes-it happens. He had his vision checked in Feb this past winter and by July of this year his eyes changed by -1.0-he now has -6.25 and -6.00-just bad eyesight.

Next, how do you know that she is behind because of the eyesight issue and not something else. Logic would suggest that is the case but what if it is something else. What if she IS just a lazy student? You need to NOT compare your kids because ALL kids are different.

If your DD's teacher suspects there is something wrong with her, she will suggest appropriate actions-testing, tutoring, etc. I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about it.

One last thought--why in the heck are they giving letter grades in kindergarten and first grade???