Wow, it is hard to believe it has been almost two months since my last journal entry. I knew I was ignoring this part--I just didn't know how well.
So, anyway, here it is November 1 at 5:22 am. Time change has me up early. It is time for re-commitment to myself and my health.
I really don't feel well. My body aches; my feet hurt; my stomach hurts; I get headaches easily. I can't walk across the parking lot without breathing heavily. My IBS is kicking in regularly. My clothes don't fit; pictures make me cringe; I go on airplanes and rides afraid that I won't fit. I have developed the stomach sag that looks so awful. Even my knees are flabby. They also pop when going down stairs. Plantar facitis is back. My cholesteral is borderline high. I come from a family with a strong history of diabetes. My brother died from pancreatic cancer, which is linked to diabetes. 9 out of 10 Type 2 diabetics are overweight. This is no longer a matter of disliking how I look; this is my life.
I read the journal pieces of AprilN who lost 155 pounds and something she said struck me--too often, we begin weight loss because of self-loathing. The correct mindset for her was when she realized she needed to love herself. She and I deserve to have our bodies run with the best possible fuel. I mean, I pay extra for premium gas for my car, why not apply the same principles to me--I would like to keep my body alot longer than I plan on keeping my car.
My past problems: Exercise--I start a program, and then allow myself to be side-lined by something--bad weather, stress at work, soreness. I love the idea of exercising--I am just not crazy about the sweat and the actual work. I feel as though exercise should be the main focus for me over the next few months. Exercise will increase my metabolism, and will help me with stress--I really do feel myself relaxing and letting go of my worries when I walk. In addition, the next months are so busy with the holidays, that I can't just rely on diet to make it thru. My plan for the next two months is to work out at Curves at least 3 times per week, and walk at least 8 miles per week.
Water: I have a hard time getting my water in. I reach for diet sodas first, then water tastes so bland in comparison. My plan for the next two weeks: be aware of what I drink--drink at least 4 8 oz glasses of just water per day. We have the water cooler at work--this is an easy way to make a difference.
Food: I have been thinking thru my food plans. I have had good success on Atkins, but have had a great amount of difficulty in sticking to it. It worked at first, because my DH and I did it together. I am thinking of trying a modified plan over the next two months. I will try to focus on high protein, and high fiber products. I will plan for healthy snacks--things like oatmeal--high fiber and low sugar variety. I also have found some soups that would be easy to eat, and are not loaded with sodium or carbs. I will THINK about what I am eating--I will not mindlessly fill my mouth with junk.
My stats today: 252 pounds, and a total of 139 inches (bust/waist/hips). My doctor has set a reasonable goal of 180 for me with my height.
My goal for today: get to Curves, get weighed and measured, and refresh my familiarity with the equipment. Drink 4 8 oz glasses of water. THINK about my food intake before consuming.
Good morning--it is a great day to be alive!