Nasty neighbor, venting to try and control my temper

[Christine]

Part of me wants to tell you to walk in that area any time you want to and let him get mad. But let's face it, people are crazy. It's not worth your life or your aggravation. He wins, though, I know. Weirdos.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

What the Philly reference means is that most of the people who are here on vacation are from Philly. Quite a few of them are not the best behaved folks when confronted.

Being a Philly sports fan, it gets really old hearing how "aggressive" the fans are. Everybody brings up the damned Eagles "snowballs at Santa" incident like it wasn't 50 years ago. It gets old.

 

[Tiggeroo]

May I suggest that you refrain from categorizing folks. The family in your OP appear to be "cult like." People from Philly are ill-behaved when confronted. Perhaps you are not as easy going as you believe you are.

I would walk anywhere other than near the property in question. Not worth stressing over or getting into legal trouble over.

I am sorry to categorize but cult like is truly how I would describe what I see there. And I'm not saying that Philly people are ill behaved when confronted. Like I said, I am from Philly and many of my family members are still there. I am saying that some of them will not respond so easily. That's not necessarily a negative. In fact there is something good to be said for standing up for yourself and your wife if somebody calls her awful names. My town goes from 3,000 people to over 300,000 people. Most of those people are from Philly, N.Jersey and NY. They are nice and generous folks, mostly. We make our living off of these summer people and always treat them with kindness and respect. But they do react differently then the typical laid back beach person. I am sure part of it is that when you are on vacation you may behave differently then at home.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I guess I did say, not the best behaved. I'm not explaining it properly. I just mean they often defend women when they are with them and don't like being insulted. I guess I'm just making it worst. I really don't mean it in a negative way.

 

[Christine]

I guess I did say, not the best behaved. I'm not explaining it properly. I just mean they often defend women when they are with them and don't like being insulted. I guess I'm just making it worst. I really don't mean it in a negative way.

I totally get what you are saying (hey, I know a few people from Philly). They are just going to stand up for themselves and not take kindly to someone being ridiculous. You explained it perfectly above.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I get what you're saying. Where I grew up, in that time and place, people didn't put up with much crap, either. Prided themselves on it, too. But times have changed, and we've probably changed, also, so it's kind of a moot point. It's really not worth getting into it with this guy. Life would've been a lot easier, probably, if you just picked up the poop and kept walking.

 

[Hrhpd]

What the Philly reference means is that most of the people who are here on vacation are from Philly. Quite a few of them are not the best behaved folks when confronted. I know it sounds like I'm generalizing and I guess I am. Just that city people who live in close contact to others are more likely to defend themselves and become confrontational as opposed to ignoring something and moving on. When you live close to people I think you just have to learn to stand up for yourself more. That is putting it as nicely as I can. I am saying that somebody who wears their hat backwards and has daggers tattooed on their neck and walks large pitbulls might respond differently then a suburban mom walking a couple little fluffy corgis.

But you are the one who defended, became confrontational and did not ignore and move on. That sounds more like the city people you are not fond of rather than a suburban mom walking a couple of fluffy corgis.

He told you he had put chemicals on a lawn your dog was defecating on. Instead of taking that as an informational statement and moving on, you chose to stay and instigate an argument by telling him it smelled, defending your right to walk there because it was public property and that he should not do that.

 

[gwynne]

Life would've been a lot easier, probably, if you just picked up the poop and kept walking.

Why, that's almost Emily Post-esque! You need a column. Pea-n-Me's etiquette advice for the real world.

 

[Tiggeroo]

What he said before I said a thing was, he put every kind of chemical on the lawn, including gasoline and he was hoping it would kill dogs.

 

[HM]

I know it's terrible to have to readjust your routine, but keeping away from the crazy guy seems to be the wise move here.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Also, the first thing I actually said to him is he should try to get to know his neighbors. We all get along with each other here. He said he didn't want to get along with any of his neighbors. I actually said very little to him. I had concern that somebody would come by and flick cigarette ash on his gasoline area and poof. That's what I started out saying to him.
That said, I agree I could have handled it better.
I do wonder what the right response to move your fat *** and your ugly dogs so I don't have to look at them might be?

 

[Hrhpd]

What he said before I said a thing was, he put every kind of chemical on the lawn, including gasoline and he was hoping it would kill dogs.

I am sorry if I misunderstood, but that is not how you worded it at first. You said he told you he had put tons of chemicals on the patch to kill weeds. You responded that you told him it smelled and he should label it. (Rather than engaging him, this is the point I would have said thank you for letting me know to avoid the area and moved on.) You stated that he then told you he was putting gasoline on it after you confronted him about how it smelled and that he should label it.

If he had indeed told me immediately that he wanted to kill dogs, I too might have had a reaction. However, the way you wrote it, it does sound like he did not say the crazy stuff till after you engaged him. My apologies again if I am misunderstanding the order of events.

Yesterday I had to walk past. My dog pooped on the scrubby weed and dirt area next to the street. This is public land. I picked it up promptly and started to walk. He came up to me and said he wouldn't let dogs walk there. He puts tons of chemicals on there to kill weeds. (there are tons of weeds there so I guess not working) Something smelled really bad and I told him that and said I try to avoid treated areas, he should label it. He then said he is pouring gasoline all over it.

 

[sersee05]

Well if that was the first thing that came out of his mouth...I don't know that I wouldn't have said something back either. It's very easy to monday morning quarterback a situation . I think you realize now that less conversation with a crazy person is a good thing. Should you have continued conversation with him ? No. But now you know and the best thing to do is stay away from him. Not worth it. He sounds miserable and will live a miserable life .

As for the philly reference...I get what you are saying. I live in south jersey. The fact is the south philly people that live near me have backbones and don't take a lot of crap. I don't necessarily know why...it's not a bad thing. I wish I took less crap.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

This is not a battle I would choose to engage in. He's clearly indicated he has no use for dogs and he's also shown you just how bizarre he can be. I would simply avoid this area and move on from the drama.

 

[Hrhpd]

Also, the first thing I actually said to him is he should try to get to know his neighbors. We all get along with each other here. He said he didn't want to get along with any of his neighbors. I actually said very little to him. I had concern that somebody would come by and flick cigarette ash on his gasoline area and poof. That's what I started out saying to him.
That said, I agree I could have handled it better.
I do wonder what the right response to move your fat *** and your ugly dogs so I don't have to look at them might be?

That was not in your original post. Depending on when he said that, it might change my opinion.

 

[Wishing on a star]

OMG... sounds crazy and possibly dangerous for sure!

If you feel you or your dogs are threatened, then I would find away to avoid their place.

I had something similar...
Some low-life psychos moved into a place where a very nice older lady had lived.
I have walked this during my one-mile walks... and walking our Black Lab, for 20 years!!!
They had several animals, including two large dogs, in this tiny place, no fence or anything...
One day the dogs went wild when they saw us, jumped out the window, tearing thru the screen and destroying it..
The psycho guy comes out at me just yelling and cursing every obscenity imaginable...
Stay the *** out of his yard, etc... (like you, I am NOT in anyone's yard)
It was scary... I was in tears by the time I got back home.
It was bad...
I didn't walk right by that place for a long tine.
But, I've lived and walked here for 20 years, so I wasn't going to give them that power.
I did begin walking that way, skirting as far around their place as much as possible.
(I would not have done this if I truly thought my dogs safety or my safety continued to be in question.)

Everybody around knew how psycho this couple was...
Yelling, cursing, violent arguments, etc....

Thank goodness, finally, I think the owner got them out of there.

 

[Tiggeroo]

That was not in your original post. Depending on when he said that, it might change my opinion.

sorry. I hate when people change what they wrote to get sympathy. Not trying to do that. He said some scary things and i responded first calmly amd then too angrily. I own my role but that doesn't change what he is doing there.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

sorry. I hate when people change what they wrote to get sympathy. Not trying to do that. He said some scary things and i responded first calmly amd then too angrily. I own my role but that doesn't change what he is doing there.

This really sounds like a person you would want to avoid. Wouldn't simply avoiding him solve all of this?

 

[Tiggeroo]

That's why I posted here. I vent here and then avoid him. Cheap therapy. It also helps me see if I'm ridiculous. However I do have concern for other dogs

 

[Wishing on a star]

sorry. I hate when people change what they wrote to get sympathy. Not trying to do that. He said some scary things and i responded first calmly amd then too angrily. I own my role but that doesn't change what he is doing there.

Tiggeroo, we all agree that this guy said some crazy and scary things.
That is not the deal here.
Vent away!!!!

The thing is, you are still sounding a little defensive and argumentative about it all.
That might be the piece of the puzzle that you are not seeing here.

Just a note, FYI....
It doesn't matter who is right or wrong.
That doesn't matter to 'crazy'.
You can't reason with 'crazy'.