Nasty neighbor, venting to try and control my temper

[minkydog]

Come down to the carolina beaches! Friendly people, better beaches, oh, and sharks!

Well, it *is* Shark Week...

 

[WDSearcher]

this strip is not maintained. It is rocks, weeds and dirt. But I honestly didn't plan on my dog pooping there. And I don't normally walk there. There was a crowd on the other side of the street where we usually go and I crossed over so I wouldn't bring my dogs through a large family group with bikes, a wheelchair and kids. I planned on going across the street and right back into my regular route where there are no homes. I really don't like to make trouble with anybody. He has been at war with the city (I was told today by a friend who is also a neighbor) over this strip of land, among other things. He put up yellow tape and said he was growing grass but there was no evidence. This was pretty much all last summer. Kids were eventually walking over it and the city told him to take it down because somebody complained. Like I said, he piled it with large river rocks and also piled the edge of his actual property in front of his hedges and fence with them. The city gave him til the next day to remove them or be fined. His sidewalk is extremely cracked and people have tripped on it and complained to the city. He just doesn't want anybody to walk on that block. I haven't walked there since and it really isn't normally on my route. But if an issue comes up like the other night I will walk there if necessary. This is not a maintained home at all. The shutters are falling off, the gutter is hanging off the house into the alley, the porch is propped up onto rocks and a board. I still always respect his property just like I do everybody else's. I have been nothing but polite to them.

OK ... this confused me. HIS sidewalk? Did he pour the sidewalk or in some way impede the city from fixing it? If the sidewalk is his, then he CAN tell you not to walk there, can't he?

See ... that's the thing. You start out with one complaint and then there are more and more and now suddenly a sidewalk that he didn't pour and likely doesn't have the skillset or tools (or responsibility) to fix is his fault for tripping people. And you've been "nothing but polite to them" ... except for that altercation where your husband called the police.

I get that you don't like the guy and that you should be able to walk there. But it sounds like you just want everyone to tell you that you're right, darn it! And he's a bad guy, and you didn't do anything wrong at ALL! But good lord -- in the big scheme of things, is it that big a deal? You've probably spent more time complaining about it and trying to convince all of us (and yourself) that you were right and he was wrong than you ever spent walking on that piece of land in the first place. You've already admitted that you're partly to blame for the thing blowing up like it did, so maybe just take a breath and move on. Life's too short.

 

[marlynnp]

You continue to escalate the issue, why ? You are not looking to avoid this property, you appear to be trying to further engage the conflict.

Somehow, I don't believe you are telling the whole story .

I wish you luck, that you find the path of least resistance.

I don't call finding out as much information as she can about this nutcase, "escalating the issue".

TC

If you read through the thread, she continues to try and rationalize her reaction.

Thank you very much, I did read the entire thread. I believe she admitted she should not have reacted to his confrontation. Lesson learned. Going forward, should she allow him to bully her to the point she should change her route? I urged her to find out what she could about this individual.

TC

Well, I've read the entire thread too and I'm not sure which party is the nutcase.

 

[Tiggeroo]

double post, phone problems, sorry.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I am pretty much telling the whole story. Sorry if I don't sound like somebody being grilled by police who answers everything exactly the same every time. I was taking a walk and forced to walk on a sidewalk I normally avoid because of one single interaction which told me it was a place to avoid. It was very minor but made me just a little uncomfortable. During the walk my dog pooped on public land that is full of weeds and rocks and I picked it right up and started walking. Man came out said I put every kind of poison there I can. Not sure whether I commented on smell before or after he told me he also pours gasoline there. At some point before or after the gasoline comment he told me he wants to kill the dogs who walk by. I told him gasoline is a hazard and dangerous. He began ranting and screaming. He cursed at me and said get the bleep off my land. I tried to talk calmly at this point and say something about really just would like to be good neighbors. He told me he didn't want neighbors and to shove the poop bag up my ugly ***. My husband heard all this as he was coming from my house with my other dog. He said something to him about not talking to his wife that way. You don't know me or my husband. I understand this. But my husband is normally very far from reactionary. He really isn't the kind of guy that goes around defending his wife from the little offenses in life. Something must have really seemed off to him. Next, the man chest bumped my husband and said more nasty stuff. I suggested my husband call the police at this point. He walked back to house and got the cell phone and called the police. Now I am waiting in the street for the police and the man and his wife are screaming. At this point, stupid person that I am I start reacting and yell at him a bit. Police come and find me on the other side of the street shaking with the man and his wife hollering. They go to the man and ask what happened. He tells them. They ask if I cleaned it up and he says yes. They say then what is the problem? He says he wants nobody or dogs on that sidewalk or grass. They tell him it is all public land and a very busy area. He rants about being harassed and easements. They tell him no it is public land and a major intersection with a traffic light and stores. They come back and take my info and say I can file a complaint but I would have to go to court. I don't. I can smell gasoline there. The police smelled it. They told me I can walk there if I like and dogs can go there but it would likely cause drama. They said the man is crazy and they were having a tough time reasoning with him. When I posted this I was clearly upset. I owned my part, which was allowing myself to respond to a crazy man who is pouring gasoline on the ground, putting poison on public land with no warning flags (I never walk where there are flags)threatened my dog and chest bumped my husband. I am sure all of you perfect people would have handled it much differently. Calling the police in this situation was not an over reaction. Checking property records to find out if it is a summer rental or not to notify the homeowner is not an over reaction. Allowing myself to engage was wrong and stupid. But I truly had provocation. I am 50yo and have maybe only twice in my life had any sort of argument even remotely like that in my life and have only called police for anything once and that was a stabbing.
As I said I was looking to vent. I haven't walked on that sidewalk since. I didn't break any laws. Walking there wasn't wrong. Very, very few homes in this town have lawns or yards. Every dog owner walks their dogs along that edge of grass along sidewalks and it is considered acceptable if you clean up after yourself. It is actually the polite place to use instead of lawns. I have lived here and walked my dogs here for years and never had a single problem. The man's reaction was odd to the police as well. I didn't memorize every line of dialogue but I don't really know what you think I am leaving out. I really am not looking for anybody to encourage me to do anything awful. I'm not trying to make myself sound good here. I admitted I yelled back at the man. Merely wanted to vent about an incident that had upset me. Appreciate the support.

 

[Southernmiss]

Tiggeroo you knew you were posting on the Dis and continued to come back and reexplain your side. That's what's kept this thread going.

Time to let it all go. The thread will move off the first page and into Disboard history.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Tiggeroo you knew you were posting on the Dis and continued to come back and reexplain your side. That's what's kept this thread going.

Time to let it all go. The thread will move off the first page and into Disboard history.

Sorry. Obviously you are right. And the more I try to explain the more ridiculous it sounds. I appreciated when people said, calm down and avoid the trouble. I guess I just couldn't understand some of the reactions. In my real life this has been long over so on to other things.