Nasty neighbor, venting to try and control my temper

[IndyRnRfan]

I feel sorry for you but you have a right to use that sidewalk whenever you want. It is not his property. I would not let my dogs walk or use his yard or the public piece of grass that is between the steet and sidewalk. You and your husband seem to be the bigger people, meaning if I heard him say those things to my wife and then when I walked over there and he bumped my chest, I would have put him in the hospital. I don't take crap from anyone and will not let my wife or me be threatened ever. He may act crazy and might be crazy but don't be afraid to use that sidewalk. It's your call and if you feel scared or uncomfortable then use the other side of the street.

 

[Kellykins1218]

Why wouldn't you just walk your dog someplace else from now on? Seems like such a minor inconvenience to avoid a nutcase.

 

[7165red]

This man sounds crazy and irrational. I can understand you wanting to walk your dogs at that corner just to prove a point.

However, if he is really not right, I am not sure I would want to risk any kind of confrontation with him. I agree, I would try to avoid him and if there is another incident, call the police. Something tells me he is going to have numerous encounters this summer, not just with you.

Very good advice.

 

[DisneyLuver2013]

I guess that I don't understand why you chose to walk your dogs in front of his house, when you knew that you didn't get along with him? If I had a neighbor who I knew didn't like me (and I do), I would avoid said neighbor at all cost.

It doesn't sound like the little area that your dog pooped in was public property, either. If he is spraying for weeds and doing upkeep on the little grass area in front of his house, it is his property.

And if he wanted to kill your dogs ever since last summer, why would he warn you that their was weed killer on the little grassy area? Seems like he was trying to save your dogs by telling you that the area was poisonous. Are you certain that he wasn't saying that the poison will kill your dogs?

And if you were so close to home that your husband saw/heard the confrontation, then why didn't you have the dogs poop in your own yard?

I'm not trying to play devil's advocate or whatever, but your story left me with a lot of questions.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I guess that I don't understand why you chose to walk your dogs in front of his house, when you knew that you didn't get along with him? If I had a neighbor who I knew didn't like me (and I do), I would avoid said neighbor at all cost.

It doesn't sound like the little area that your dog pooped in was public property, either. If he is spraying for weeds and doing upkeep on the little grass area in front of his house, it is his property.

And if he wanted to kill your dogs ever since last summer, why would he warn you that their was weed killer on the little grassy area? Seems like he was trying to save your dogs by telling you that the area was poisonous. Are you certain that he wasn't saying that the poison will kill your dogs?

And if you were so close to home that your husband saw/heard the confrontation, then why didn't you have the dogs poop in your own yard?

I'm not trying to play devil's advocate or whatever, but your story left me with a lot of questions.

I had to walk down that sidewalk to get where I was going. There was a ton of kids and bikes on the other side of the road. My dog went on the weeds and dirt on the street side of the sidewalk. I live in an upper condo. Very few homes here have yards, You have to use the sidewalk side grass. The police repeatedly told him that land is public land. He has not been taking care of it. It is a mess of weeds, dirt and rocks. Not even plantable soil. He told me he put every kind of chemical he could find on there and gasoline because he wanted to kill my ugly dogs. I generally avoid his property, partly because he makes me uncomfortable but more because I have a perfect walking rout that takes me past lots of good places to go. In a summer town with tons of extra people, trying to keep the dogs out of a crowd is a challenge. Believe me I try to avoid people and never let them on anybody's lawn or things that look manicured.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

The guy is a bully. He tries to feel superior to compensate for his own issues. He may or may not have put chemicals on the weeds. He probably just wanted to see your reaction when he said it. The best way to deal with bullies is to completely ignore them. Don't feed into their need for attention. I would cross the street, walk around the block, or whatever else it takes to avoid walking by his house. Don't look in his direction. Just go about your business as if he doesn't even exist. If he somehow tries to engage you from across the street, just smile and keep going. He'll get bored by your lack of feedback soon enough and move on to something else.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Oh and before this I have had exactly 3 interactions with him. One when I brought him a package mistakenly delivered to my home, once when there was a problem with stolen bikes in the area and I asked him if several abandoned ones at my house were his and the other time when he said something nasty to me and it made me uncomfortable enough to generally avoid the area. I wasn't thinking, oh no that neighbor is somebody whose house I have to stay away from. I just figured the other route is good and I just felt slightly uncomfortable. What he said to me the first time actually made me think he would try to hurt animals. It is not a thought I have ever had about anybody else. So if he was there and there was no reason to not walk on the other side of the street I just did.

 

[DISNEY1975]

I can see both sides. I only read a few posts and am surprised you mentioned you thought they were in a cult, mentioned the boys haircuts and entire outfits and said you "know" people from Philly. As per your statement, you mentioned he said you should not walk your dog there as he is treating for weeds. My reactions would have been "Oh, thank you for letting me know. I will avoid this area". Not sure why you got defensive immediately.

Obviously, I wasnt there and dont know the entire story or any tones being used, but just from the tiny bit I know, I could not pick a side.

 

[Annadesu]

Just avoid him when you can... but if you have to walk by his place, do so quickly and ignore him if he starts ranting at you.

Also, if your yard can be easily accessed from the street, make sure you check around the fence once and a while. People will sometimes throw poisoned food over the fence, and other horrible things. Good luck.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I shouldn't have put the cult stuff. I wish I could describe the odd vibe this family gives off. But until this interaction I only thought of them as different. In fact I was happy somebody had moved into this older home and decided to work on it. It could be a lovely home and over here things like that just get torn down. We tried to just be neighborly and say hello. Offered help if they need it. Don't need friends, just being polite. Honestly, if he had said, I'm treating the lawn here, can you walk the dogs somewhere else I would have said sure. I also would have told him I rarely walk there. He told the police I bring my dog up onto his porch to pee. I can't imagine doing anything like that. Like I said, I live here and am say hello friendly with most of my neighbors. I would never want to be an enemy with somebody I live near. I keep an eye on some of their homes if they go away for the winter. We have a business that does this but don't charge neighbors. Just for pipes broken or doors open... If I see it when I walk by.

 

[aaarcher86]

I'd just continue to walk down the sidewalk past his house if that's the way I'm going.

If I'm feeling particularly obnoxious I might smile and wave if he's out. I don't typically back down to people like that. I'm sure that's not the greatest quality. But I also gave a giant shepherd so the odds of him charging at me to begin with would be slim.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I'd just continue to walk down the sidewalk past his house if that's the way I'm going.

If I'm feeling particularly obnoxious I might smile and wave if he's out. I don't typically back down to people like that. I'm sure that's not the greatest quality. But I also gave a giant shepherd so the odds of him charging at me to begin with would be slim.

I am glad I am not the only one who doesn't feel compelled to not walk by his house just because he doesn't want me to. It is really kind of killing me to back down. I really, sincerely don't believe I did anything wrong here, other then allowing him to get me upset and engaging him. But I don't want the situation to escalate. I don't want my husband, who I have never ever seen feel the need to defend me like that, to become involved in an altercation. The police told me it was my right to walk there and for my dogs to go where they went and if I choose to and he bothers me I can call them again. But they also said consider walking the other way when possible to just avoid the drama. Our town is busy in the summer with true emergencies and I'd hate to see them wasting their time on this nonsense.

 

[Tuffcookie]

OP, If a new neighbor was acting this way, I would be curious as to who he was and what kind of trouble he was where he came from. Then I could determine if he was full of wind or someone not to fool with.

TC

 

[Tiggeroo]

He honestly comes off as fairly unstable and unable to deal with things. A person like that is probably more dangerous then somebody who just has a temper.

 

[Tuffcookie]

I would be checking to see who owns the property. A lot of that information can be found out on-line. There is also information on where the tax bill gets mailed. Once you have that information you can check the police dept. and see if he has been named in any incident reports. You need to know who you are dealing with!

TC

 

[ols386]

He honestly comes off as fairly unstable and unable to deal with things. A person like that is probably more dangerous then somebody who just has a temper.

All the more reason for you to avoid him.

 

[IndyRnRfan]

It doesn't sound like the little area that your dog pooped in was public property, either. If he is spraying for weeds and doing upkeep on the little grass area in front of his house, it is his property.

In most cities if there is a sidewalk in front of your house and a small area of grass between the sidewalk and street that area is the owners responsibility to maintain but it is actually the cities property.

 

[Bluestars]

I would avoid him at all costs because he sounds like someone who might hurt your animals. It's not worth it.

 

[PSUTraveler]

I don't think you did anything wrong by walking your dogs there! As you admitted you let your emotions get the best of you and engaged him, but I think that's been covered.

While I would hate to back down, it's really not worth involving yourself with him again. He's already demonstrated that he's volatile, irrational, and doesn't necessarily listen to authority/police. There is really no telling what he may do next. Good luck.

 

[Tiggeroo]

OMG... sounds crazy and possibly dangerous for sure!

If you feel you or your dogs are threatened, then I would find away to avoid their place.

I had something similar...
Some low-life psychos moved into a place where a very nice older lady had lived.
I have walked this during my one-mile walks... and walking our Black Lab, for 20 years!!!
They had several animals, including two large dogs, in this tiny place, no fence or anything...
One day the dogs went wild when they saw us, jumped out the window, tearing thru the screen and destroying it..
The psycho guy comes out at me just yelling and cursing every obscenity imaginable...
Stay the *** out of his yard, etc... (like you, I am NOT in anyone's yard)
It was scary... I was in tears by the time I got back home.
It was bad...
I didn't walk right by that place for a long tine.
But, I've lived and walked here for 20 years, so I wasn't going to give them that power.
I did begin walking that way, skirting as far around their place as much as possible.
(I would not have done this if I truly thought my dogs safety or my safety continued to be in question.)

Everybody around knew how psycho this couple was...
Yelling, cursing, violent arguments, etc....

Thank goodness, finally, I think the owner got them out of there.

This is very much the way this went. An immediate over reaction by the gentleman, when I wasn't on his property. Me getting shaken, then he said a little more and I engaged him, which I shouldn't have done. I should have done like another poster suggested and smiled and ignored him. But the other part is also correct. I live here. I have been walking around these blocks with my dogs for years. I hate the thought of giving him the power to control my walking route. I don't really mean I would deliberately walk there but if I am going somewhere and that is the route I would take I don't think I should have to change it because he yelled at me and called me names or because he thinks he owns the sidewalk. Right now I'm avoiding it but if something comes up like it did the last time I will walk by and just ignore him if he says anything and keep my phone set on record.