My weekend family drama. What'd I do wrong?..LONG

[AustinTink]

There were keg stands at the wedding???

My thoughts exactly! I couldn't even get through the rest of the post after reading that!! Keg stands= classy!

 

[sunnyday123]

First of all, good for you for NOT leaving them all at the wedding, and being the DD. I think you handled the whole thing well-way better than I would have.

Second, do you think your sister may have a drinking problem? My cousin ( who does ) acted like that when she drank. Hope she's apologizing to you in a big way today. I'd take some satisfaction in knowing she couldn't really afford 2 hotel rooms but in her drunken state got another.

I'd talk very loudly today and hide the advil.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I can't get past the whole "keg stands" at a wedding.
Really?

Your sister was being a butt. I would have left her butt at the hotel.

 

[Jennasis]

Sounds like you should have used this line "Poor planning on your part does not mean an emergency on mine."

Seriously, I would not have worried about getting the beer. I would not have worried about sis smoking and getting in the car--oust or fabreeze would have taken care of those odors. I would be more worried about one of the drunks puking all over mil's car and what a mess that would have been smellwise and cleanup wise!

Sounds like you should have dropped them off at the hotel and gone on to the party by yourself!

It is over and done, so let it go. Just learn from it and don't allow it to happen again. Now that you know your sis is like this, start stashing away coins/cash so that when these situations come up again, you have the money to get your own room.

Also, I am confused--in your original post you say that you are not a tea totaller and in post 4 you state "I do not drink...at all...ever." Which is it?

Tis possible I misunderstand the meaning. I had thought the term tea-totaller was meant as someone who is harping on those who do drink. Like lecturing those who drink. I don't drink. Can't stand the taste of alcohol. but I never give people who do a hard time.

First of all, good for you for NOT leaving them all at the wedding, and being the DD. I think you handled the whole thing well-way better than I would have.

Second, do you think your sister may have a drinking problem? My cousin ( who does ) acted like that when she drank. Hope she's apologizing to you in a big way today. I'd take some satisfaction in knowing she couldn't really afford 2 hotel rooms but in her drunken state got another.

I'd talk very loudly today and hide the advil.

I am starting to think she may. Have chatted with my parents today and it seems this wasn't her first time at the rodeo.

I can't get past the whole "keg stands" at a wedding.
Really?

Your sister was being a butt. I would have left her butt at the hotel.

I know! All I could think was thank God the wedding couple had left and didn't have to see it. Class act, my family eh?


I've had the day to think about stuff and "get over it". Even though my sister barely said two words to me all day, I continue to go about treating her as if nothing happened. Frankly, in the end, it cost HER more than me. She had to eat the cost of another room.

I dropped her and my other sister off at the airport this afternoon on my way back to NC and gave them both a hug and an "I love you." She did tell me "love you too...see you in two weeks" (I have to go up to NY to visit my mom.)

This weekend was certainly an eye opener and a learning experience. Now I'm going to let it go....sigh....ahhhhh there we go....feels good!

 

[luvsJack]

I imagine she was quiet because she was ashamed and didn't know how to approach it. Too, she may not remember what she said or did so is just not talking until someone lets her know if she did something wrong.

Its good you can let it go. In two weeks when you go back it will be a bad memory and she probably will have forgotten all about it.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

And this is the reason why I don't drink with my younger Dsis. Give her 2 glasses of wine and she becomes an outright self-righteous witch. So as not to hijack your thread I won't get into it.

Hugs to you and I hope you had a safe trip home.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Guess I would have just asked for money and gone to the store by myself -- then I would have met my obligation without having to deal with the drunkards. Didn't seem that there was much purpose in everyone going unless they paid for the beer.

 

[Jennasis]

Guess I would have just asked for money and gone to the store by myself -- then I would have met my obligation without having to deal with the drunkards. Didn't seem that there was much purpose in everyone going unless they paid for the beer.

Coulda woulda shoulda!

 

[eliza61]

Where did you go wrong?

Taking responsibility for every one's action. Sorry. My family is a pain at times too. Sister wants to change, fine no problem. very easy. The store will be closed. Period, end of drama. For some reason people feel that they can do whatever they want, when ever they want and the world still is their oyster. The only cure for this is to start letting them reap the consequences.

Sister dear, wants to stomp around and act like a 3 year old having a hissy fit. Fine, treat her exactly like you would a 3 year old. Ignore her and tell her you are more than happy to listen to her when she begins to behave like an adult.

After 48+years of dealing with some first class bubbleheads in my family, I now adopt the attitude of "I can't control your idiotic behaviour but I can control my response to it"

 

[Mickey527]

My sister did something of the same years ago and I still can't forget, and maybe still can't forgive but I don't say anything to her anymore.
I had taken my son who just turned 21 and her to WDW. We stayed at Embassy suites with the 2 hour manager party, fun times!
I had bought chips and dips, crackers and cheese, pepperoni, etc, and we really enjoyed those 2 hour free drinks.
She got wasted and started telling my son things she shouldn't have, about me and things I did when I was younger. Nothing I was ashamed of but not what my son should have heard. She also tried to get him to be angry at me when I told her to shut up, tried to turn my son against me. I just got up and went to the room and let her continue to drink.
I told her the next day how upset I was and she carried on about how I was a prude, needed to have fun etc ...
To this day she brings up how I got angry for her talking to my son, not about how drunk she was or what she said, just that I was a prude.
My son did say a few years later that he didn't want to hear those things and it changed the way he felt about his aunt.
alcohol does strange things to people. My sister continues to over embibe and I just ignore her when she gets that way now, that is the way she is and if I want to continue to visit her (she lives in Clearwater) I have to just ignore her drinking and just make sure she is safe.

 

[joyjoy]

...this is all wrong on multiple levels...the drinking, the cussing, and the sister in the next room sleeping with her boyfriend....all NOT good

Wow.

 

[Bob NC]

You knew there was gonna be drama before you even got there.

There was drama.

Now you don't like the fact that there was drama?

Kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, huh?

Oh, by the way, if you didn't want drama, there wouldn't have been any.

 

[ols386]

You knew there was gonna be drama before you even got there.

There was drama.

Now you don't like the fact that there was drama?

Kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, huh?

Oh, by the way, if you didn't want drama, there wouldn't have been any.

I don't think the poster likes the drama, I think the sister does.

And as far as saying "if you didn't want drama, there wouldn't have been any"....hindsight is alway 20/20.

To the op....I think you handled the situation alot better than I would have. I probably wouldn't have been as nice to your sister as you were.

 

[DWGal210]

I'm sorry you had a bad night, OP....that's never fun to be on the other end of a drunk person's mood swings. I guess I would file it under "You live and you learn."

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. I was still in college and went to Acapulco with 3 other girl friends. Never again, at least not with those friends. I ended up babysitting them all week and making sure they didn't go to the hotel rooms of creepy looking guys. Blech. Never again.

So when they asked me about a year ago to go to Vegas with them for a joint bachelorette party / bridal shower, I said thanks but no thanks. I like them all enough individually, but get them together and drinking and all heck breaks loose. I didn't feel like being a babysitter again and so I declined.

And I second the vote to not share a hotel room again; I know it was to save money, but your sanity is more important. If your sister can't afford the hotel room, that's not your problem. Maybe that sounds harsh, but I wouldn't open myself up to being treated that way again.

 

[Jennasis]

You knew there was gonna be drama before you even got there.

There was drama.

Now you don't like the fact that there was drama?

Kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, huh?

Oh, by the way, if you didn't want drama, there wouldn't have been any.

There is ALWAYS drama of some kind at a family gathering (at least my family).

 

[diznygirl]

Oh, by the way, if you didn't want drama, there wouldn't have been any.

I haven't wanted drama for a long time now, but my family still keeps giving it to me. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

Think maybe you could talk to them?

 

[surfergirl602]

Two words: THEIR DRUNK!!! How did you expect them to act? Drunk people have no sense of right and wrong. You were fine, and I can't believe you actually kept your cool! I would have left without them and went on with my own agenda! I have no time to waste for drunk people.

 

[horseshowmom]

First off, I had to google to find out what a keg stand was. After googling, I can't say I'm sorry to have missed that one.

And this was a wedding?

Jennasis, just chalk this up to a lesson learned. You can't deal with drunks - particularly those like your sister. She'll get over it, or she won't - neither of which will be your fault. Sorry for the drama.

BTW, regarding drama, I've got to agree with those who say you don't always have a choice in it. It often envelopes you no matter how much you wish it didn't!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

First off, I had to google to find out what a keg stand was. After googling, I can't say I'm sorry to have missed that one.

And this was a wedding?

Jennasis, just chalk this up to a lesson learned. You can't deal with drunks - particularly those like your sister. She'll get over it, or she won't - neither of which will be your fault. Sorry for the drama.

BTW, regarding drama, I've got to agree with those who say you don't always have a choice in it. It often envelopes you no matter how much you wish it didn't!

I had to google "keg stand" too. LOL And I agree...this was a wedding??? I guess we have some pretty boring weddings among our friends and relatives.

As far as drama, oh yeah, it can be difficult to avoid. There's a particularly dramatic person in my family, and in order to have a visit recently with some other relatives without her, we concocted quite the plan, which amazingly we pulled off. It was all very silly that we as adults had to do that because otherwise we'd GET IN TROUBLE WITH MOM , but we ended up having a wonderful drama-free visit.

 

[Jennasis]

I'm just happy nobody brought a beer bong. With the yahoos that were there, it was a distinct possibility. Of course, one of the many bonuses of being the sober one is the free show. I now possess come photos that I'm sure my sister hopes her kids (if she ever has some) will never see, and of course, her running for office is right out.