My Teenager Daughter Answered her Cell Phone by Saying "What??!!!"

[kadaten]

Originally posted by taylor1293
I'd take it away for a week since you've discussed it with her before.

Being a teenager is no excuse for lack of manners.

 

[Pooh93]

That would have gone right through me. If dd's ever answer the phone that way, I can guarantee you I won't be the only one not happy by the end of the conversation!

I think dh did that to me once since he's had a cell phone (that I purchased for him) and he hasn't done it to me since.

I agree with the majority and would take the phone away for a couple days.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Otto's Doll
I agree with the majority. Have a talk about respect and take the phone away for a few days.

 

[Keli]

It's disrespectful to speak to your parent like that. And it would go all over me if Ashli did it to me. Yep, since you've spoken to her about this before I think you should pull the phone for a day or two to let her know you are serious. It is typical teen behavior, that is true but it doesn't mean you have to accept it.

 

[ThinkTink510]

haha i did that once and got in trouble

dont take the phone away its tourture punish her in another way

 

[WDWAurora]

I'm not sure taking the phone away is an appropriate punishment since I do agree about the safety issues. If she's driving age, or going places with friends, etc. do you really want her out without it? Wouldn't a more appropriate punishment be something to the effect of making her spend the weekend at home, or doing some extra work around the house to help pay for some of the bill? I know for my parents, I had the phone for safety. They wouldn't take it away as punishment because the consequences outweigh the benefits of the punishment. If she's not going anywhere though, take it away. Or don't let her use the phone while she's at home, etc. Make sense?

 

[dg39]

I also agree with the other poster who said that if she's driving, I wouldn't take it away. She does need it for safety. If it bothered me that much I would probable only take it away for a day. Then remind her that next time it'll be gone longer.

 

[Robinrs]

It absolutely AMAZES me what some people excuse as acceptable behavior.

If I spoke that way to my Mom I'd be picking myself up a block away!

I knew better ALL of my life to NEVER disrespect an adult that way and my son knows also. Telephone etiquette is top on my list of MUSTS.

I used to have a friend whose child answered the phone with a surly "who IS it?" No hello, no nothing. I asked her about it and she just pooh poohed it, saying it's that AGE.

Her son was 11 at the time and mine is 11 now. If I heard him answer the phone like that ... ... nevermind, he knows better.

Take the phone away. They made it fine without them for centuries, she'll survive now.

 

[SandraM]

Our home phone is a business phone as DH & I are both self-employed, so our kids weren't allowed answer it when they were younger. Now, they can leave it for the answering machine if they like, but if they choose to answer, they have to write down a message for DH or I if the call isn't for them.
Our teens also have cellphones, and when they are out we we expect them to answer our calls straight away, unless they had told us they were going to the cinema, swimming or some place they couldn't have their phones on.
DD once came home late of an evening, sailed in after 7 when she was supposed to be home by 6 for dinner. No apology. I took her phone off her without any notice, just for a couple of hours, and put it on the kitchen table, within my sight. Just hearing it beep with text messages and vibrate for a call occasionally nearly sent her crazy.
I wouldn't send her out without her phone (a girl from her school got stabbed to death, a cellphone might have meant that if she wasn't saved, she wouldn't have died alone), but doing without it for a couple of hours reinforced to her how important her friends communication was.
"Exactly", I said, "that's why we pay for your phone, so that if you're late, you can let us know, and then it's fine".
100% improvement so far! Hope it continues

 

[JayBee]

I took her phone off her without any notice, just for a couple of hours, and put it on the kitchen table, within my sight. Just hearing it beep with text messages and vibrate for a call occasionally nearly sent her crazy.
I wouldn't send her out without her phone but doing without it for a couple of hours reinforced to her how important her friends communication was.
[/B]

There's no way I'd let my teen out at night without a cell phone-for safety's sake. No one on this thread who reccommends taking it away for a long period of time is a parent of a teen.

 

[SandraM]

Originally posted by JayBee


There's no way I'd let my teen out at night without a cell phone-for safety's sake. No one on this thread who reccommends taking it away for a long period of time is a parent of a teen.

Just to make it clear, there was no way she was going out without her cellphone, that's a given. If her phone needs charging, she is allowed out only on our street within sight of the house. In the case I was quoting above, she was in the house, in sight of her phone, but not allowed to access it.
She did NOT like it!

 

[QueenTrident]

I agree with the poster who said she may have been having a really bad day. Before punishing her and making a huge deal about it, you may want to see how her day was - even as an adult I can be surly to DH or my Mom if they call (since I can't take it out on the people I'm usually mad at). Maybe by talking to her you can make her understand how it hurt you that she answered the phone like that while helping her with whatever was bothering her.

 

[TinkBoo&ElliesMum]

Had you just called her minutes before?

I get snippy with ANYONE that calls me and then calls me back a few minutes later - including my mom, and yes I'm still alive.

I'm one of those people who recognizes the fact that EVERYONE has a bad day every now and again and it's going to show.

My kids get snippy with me from time to time, they know it's not going to get them anywhere but I'm not going to tell them they're not allowed to have a bad day either.

 

[DIZNYFAN]

A week hell it would have been gone as soon as she got home and if she wants it back she could get a job to pay the damn bill herself you will see how quickly the attitude changes. Even when having a bad day you still need to have manners I find that unacceptable and if my kids did this they would be forever regreting that mistake.

 

[Esmerelda]

I'm still trying to figure out why a teenage girl needs a cell phone....? I'm sorry...but I just can't see that...unless she is working and footing the bill and she has to travel late at night to/from work...

scratching her head...
Esmerelda

 

[SandraM]

Originally posted by Esmerelda
I'm still trying to figure out why a teenage girl needs a cell phone....? I'm sorry...but I just can't see that...unless she is working and footing the bill and she has to travel late at night to/from work...

We got DD one mainly for my convenience when she was 13. Her school is hopeless regarding advising parents when times change, so often I would be outside her school waiting to collect her, while her basketball/hockey/whatever coach kept them in longer than I had expected. With the cellphone she could tell me in advance. (Yes I complained to the school about them changing times, it was another story, they had a payphone which never worked etc., etc., yawn, yawn).
Then a girl from her school got stabbed to death, in a laneway almost next to her parents house (in an upmarket housing area, and the school I'm talking about is a private, fee-paying school - not that a stabbing is acceptable at any time, just that this area was quiet). It took her a while to die, poor 17 year old lovely girl, and from what I know her stab wounds were going to kill her no matter who was there, but it is terrible to think she was only yards from her home and she couldn't even dial for a comforting hand to hold her own.
This struck too close. Argue all you like, I insist my teens have their phones with them at all times.
Never mind the convenience to my life - and I have saved hours on waiting to collect them because they have been able to advise me of time changes - the fact that they can call 911 (112 or 999 in Europe ) just gives me an extra bit of comfort.

 

[Kimickey]

After going back and reading some of the post after my initial post. I still say take the phone away. Especially since the OP say it was not her first time talking to her DD about her behavior. Evidentally DD had been spoken to before and what the OP said to her did not get throught to her. She had her verbal warning, now it's time to take action. To me it's not about who pays the bill on the phone, it's about respect. Mostly all cell phones do have caller ID, so DD had to know who was calling. Unless she picked up the phone without looking at it or was on the other line chatting and just clicked over. After her she answered the phone with "what", my question is did her attitude change once she heard who was on the other end or did she continue with the attitude.

All in all I was a teenager once I never answered my mother with a what when she called home and there was no caller ID. I knew my boundaries and still do. Even as an adult now married with two children and caller ID, I STILL would not answer my own home or cell phone with a "what" with my mother hanging on the other end of the phone. If DD was having a bad day it still does not warrant a "what" with answering her cell phone. Her mother is her mother and should respect that.

 

[chrissie123]

Was she with her friends at the time, & trying to act big, & clever? if so you know what you should do... ground her, take away phone,& remind her whose the boss...

 

[LIDisneyFan]

I'm with the folks who say they would not take away the phone. My 12 YO DD has one which I pay for for HER safety and MY piece of mind. I know people got along without cell phones before, but the world was a bit different then - people also got along without seatbelts, but no one gets in my ar without using one.

My DD problem was not rude behavior, but calling friends during peak times, etc. which was against the phone rules. DD got 2 warnings, and now pays (out of allowance and other money) for any call not in our 'agreement'.

Whatever, I agree she may need to be discipled, but in the grand scheme of things, this seems kinda minor. Is she a good kid? Good grades? Generally respectful? Find another way to majke the point, but I wouldn't sacrifice safety

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by Esmerelda
I'm still trying to figure out why a teenage girl needs a cell phone....? I'm sorry...but I just can't see that...unless she is working and footing the bill and she has to travel late at night to/from work...

scratching her head...
Esmerelda

\\

Are you kidding?? I am guessing that you don't have any children....I want to be able to reach my child and my child to reach me at all times! If they are going to go someplace after school and not come right home they can call...If they are supposed to be home by 8 and running a few minutes late its better to have a phone call saying they are running late than sitting home thinking "what if"....anything can happen and I would want her to be able to reach me if it did....as soon as she is old enough to be off the block and out of my site I want a cell phone attached to her! Same things that happen at night can happen during the day!!