My teen doesn't want to go

[Kel3927]

I'm in a similar situation...my 13 yr old boy doesn't want to go to WDW in Feb, but my girls (10 and 4) are over the moon. I am trying to entice him buy doing a WDW/Universal combined trip...

 

[cruiser21]

In the last 14 years we've probably taken over 30 trips with the 4 of us. We've made some great memories. I just took a trip to WDW with my youngest son and have two cruises planned with just him and I. I don't mind it all. I don't have to deal with all the fighting and drama. My kids used to be best friends, but they don't get along right now, and I can't make them. It's the number one reason my oldest son would just rather stay home.

My husband is taking my oldest son on a couple of trips over the next year. He's actually excited to spend time with his dad and not have to put up with his pesky brother. I get to spend some one on one time with my youngest son which is something I've never gotten to do since he came second. There's always a silver lining you just have to look for it.

Families are all different. The dynamics are different, and they evolve and change as the kids age. Instead of forcing things to be the way I'd like them to be or the way things used to be I've decided to adjust and do what works best at the moment. "Adapt and overcome" is my motto for dealing with teens.

 

[jeepnjudy]

We have DS13 who still enjoys WDW but not so thrilled with the Disney cruise right now so we opted for another cruise line with more activities for his age group. He seems excited about that so my thought would be to try a different cruise line once in a while for your son if you still want to vacation as a family.

 

[Jamesfam]

Thank you all for your comments and advice, it's is greatly appreciated. The main reason he doesn't want to go is missing school. Even with bringing work with him or making it up when we gets home, he's worried about missing the instruction time. He would be missing 3 days of school, not a ton but enough to worry him. Our last cruise he was 14 and had a good time but wasn't really into the teen club. He mostly just played on his phone or just watched movies. I hate for him to go and be unhappy but leaving him I'd feel guilty. This parenting thing isn't easy, lol

 

[mcgluvint]

Thank you all for your comments and advice, it's is greatly appreciated. The main reason he doesn't want to go is missing school. Even with bringing work with him or making it up when we gets home, he's worried about missing the instruction time. He would be missing 3 days of school, not a ton but enough to worry him. Our last cruise he was 14 and had a good time but wasn't really into the teen club. He mostly just played on his phone or just watched movies. I hate for him to go and be unhappy but leaving him I'd feel guilty. This parenting thing isn't easy, lol

Is their a chance he can do the work prior to the cruise? Im a rather common vacationer and I let my teachers know as soon as the year starts back up. They always ket me do my work before because me being behind stresses me out. I think he would want to go if he dug deep. My favorite cruise was my last one when I met friends and went out and id things with them. It made the cruise so, so much better. I got to know them so well for a short, 4 night cruise. Do you by any chance have Facebook? If you do, join the Facebook group for that cruise. They tend to have 100 plus members always. Mine for Alaska has well over 200 and we are 321 days until the cruise. They tend to organize meet and greets for teenagers. They pay off. Maybe he just doesn't like cruising in general. I hope I'm not acting like Im his parent. Im just trying to help. Hope this helps!

 

[Dug720]

All due respect to you @mcgluvint but missing school when you're in middle school is a far cry from missing school when you're in high school. Things move a LOT faster and not everything can be "book learning" but needs the lecture or experience part you only get in the classroom.

 

[KashasMom]

I admire him for not wanting to miss school. It can be hard to catch up, no matter how good a student he may be. I usually take my daughter out of school for a week around Easter to have a 2 week trip to India. She's only going into 3rd grade but I am seriously considering 2018 being our last year. I don't want her to miss school. I think he has a valid reason and as long as he has a safe place to stay, hard as it may be, I'd leave him home.

 

[KashasMom]

We have DS13 who still enjoys WDW but not so thrilled with the Disney cruise right now so we opted for another cruise line with more activities for his age group. He seems excited about that so my thought would be to try a different cruise line once in a while for your son if you still want to vacation as a family.

My 8 year old has hit this plateau. She never goes in the kid's club so there are no "active" activities for her on DCL. We're enjoying exploring other ships.

 

[mcgluvint]

All due respect to you @mcgluvint but missing school when you're in middle school is a far cry from missing school when you're in high school. Things move a LOT faster and not everything can be "book learning" but needs the lecture or experience part you only get in the classroom.

Where did you get I was in middle school? I am in High School.

 

[Dug720]

Where did you get I was in middle school? I am in High School.

Sorry, you've said you're 14. That's usually middle school about to start high school. My mistake.

However, not everyone is comfortable missing school - and not all assignments CAN be gotten and done in advance.

 

[BLTtinkerbell]

I completely understand not wanting to miss school. It can be very difficult to make up the work. I would let him stay with his grandmother, so he can go to school. I bet they will have a wonderful time together.

 

[quickcat]

Would he want to go if it was during school break? I know that's always an expensive time to go but maybe that would be a good alternative for you.
High school is hard to get things made up! They get so much work nowadays!!

 

[mom4fun]

Our 2nd daughter became a pain to take on any vacation around that age. I stopped taking her because she would just ruin it for everyone else. She finally became easier to be around in her 20's. My son is 16 and can't get enough of Disney cruises. They are all different. Go with the flow. You can have a great trip without him for now.

 

[mcgluvint]

Sorry, you've said you're 14. That's usually middle school about to start high school. My mistake.

However, not everyone is comfortable missing school - and not all assignments CAN be gotten and done in advance.

Understandable, high school for my school is 8-12 grades. Its common for private school where I live. You are right when it comes to assignments, my mistake.

 

[barbarossa_hoosier]

I didn't know that kids under age 18 got to dictate to parents what they will and will not do, once the parents have made a decision in that regard (such as booking a cruise for the family).

 

[MaryKatesMom]

We had to take a break from cruising after our 2010 cruise. My DD's are 22 months apart and from the beginning they were always in two different kids clubs so they never liked going by themselves. School, friends, boyfriends and sports made planning everything difficult.

We are just back from a Dream cruise now that one is 18 and the other 19 and we can all spend time together in the adult areas.

Tell him he can get the internet package so he can facetime her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I did take my DD when she was 17 out during school for a quick 3 night cruise but the deal was I had to get internet for her so she could do her homework and keep up with her classes. She blew through 2 of the 39 dollar package and 1 89 package so be careful.

 

[KashasMom]

I didn't know that kids under age 18 got to dictate to parents what they will and will not do, once the parents have made a decision in that regard (such as booking a cruise for the family).

Seriously? You're commenting about a young man who is being responsible about his school work?

 

[Cackyschmackers]

I didn't know that kids under age 18 got to dictate to parents what they will and will not do, once the parents have made a decision in that regard (such as booking a cruise for the family).

They don't. However who wants to blow $1000 and have their conscientious teen fall behind on high school grades? Or be uncomfortable and not respect his self-imposed responsibilities? I'll assume you don't have a 16 yr old, or if you do, how lucky for you that yours is perfect.

 

[barbarossa_hoosier]

Seriously? You're commenting about a young man who is being responsible about his school work?

Yes. He's 16. Ultimately, it's his parents' decision to make - and one that they already made, given that the cruise was already booked.

Maybe it can be an opportunity for him to gain confidence in his abilities to keep/catch up from missing 3 days. Or maybe it will be a learning opportunity, that sometimes we have to deal with figuring out how to deal with adversity.

 

[barbarossa_hoosier]

They don't. However who wants to blow $1000 and have their conscientious teen fall behind on high school grades? Or be uncomfortable and not respect his self-imposed responsibilities? I'll assume you don't have a 16 yr old, or if you do, how lucky for you that yours is perfect.

I'm going to assume, since the OP already booked the cruise, that this 16 y/o's parents don't agree that missing 3 days of school would have such an adverse impact. I'm further assuming that the parents are correct in their assumption.

For me, there would be a fundamental problem with a 16 year old so blatantly disregarding his parents' authority. That's a much bigger issue than missing 3 days of school.