My son just told me that he hates me.

[one_cat]

Kids need parents, not pals - it's really good that you aren't trying to just be a friend - on the other hand he is 17 - practically an adult. I think at this point the best thing you can do is to let him have his head. Let him know what the parameters are (which you already have.) Once high school is done - he graduates, flunks out or quits he can either go to college, go into the military or move out. You care about him and have goals for him but really, it's his life. At this point he needs to make the decision for himself that he wants to succeed. There is no way you can cure his laziness anymore than you could make him stop smoking or stop drinking. Don't worry about it - after high school it won't be your problem anymore.

Good luck... Tough love is hard.

 

[SuiteDisney]

Originally posted by one_cat
Don't worry about it - after high school it won't be your problem anymore.

Good luck... Tough love is hard.

You never stop worrying about your kids, even when they grow up.

 

[Serena]

No, you never do stop worrying.

My baby girl told me last night, she's moving out as soon as she can. She can't stand my rules and they don't work anyway, so I'm wasting my time. or so she says.

She plans on moving out in december.

 

[FleurdeLise]

Originally posted by one_cat
At this point he needs to make the decision for himself that he wants to succeed. There is no way you can cure his laziness anymore than you could make him stop smoking or stop drinking. Don't worry about it - after high school it won't be your problem anymore.

Good luck... Tough love is hard.

But if he's been 'allowed" to be lazy,not pushed enough,or gotten the darn computer taken away from him for his laziness and bad grades....how the heck will he be able to make any kind of decisions for himself? At 18 ,the parent gives the kid the boot?

 

[JasonLyons]

I hated my mom when she called at 5:30am thinking it was the home shopping network, hang in there Laura but still no excuse for your long post

 

[Pebblszzz]

Wow, I must really need to spend more time on my OWN life, because I actually dreamt about your problems last night!

Woke up with some ideas, though.

Maybe you could take him to a homeless shelter, let him see what life will be like if he continues his irresponsible behavior. Maybe even let him spend a weekend with a homeless person (one you'd trust implicitly, of course). Let him dish out soup to the poor, the hungry, the homeless...

Find him a "mentor" that's a video game designer, someone who might take him under their wing and get him excited about doing something like that for a living, one who will stress to him that the only way to do it is to start NOW by working on his grades so he can get accepted into a decent college.

Maybe find a summer program for kids with his types of issues. Like a camp for teens with troubles. A place where he has access to counselors, and kids his own age with similar interests and problems.

Whew - makes me wanna be 17 so I could take the above advice, instead of the hard roads I took.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide, and just know that most kids tell their parents they hate them now and then, and they don't mean it. I did it regularly, and I simply LOVE my mommy!!!