My sister is creating a mnster, and she doesn't even realize it

[Disney1fan2002]

My nephew is 5yo, but acts 2, because my sister gives into every single whim. He has always been a whiny kid. I watched him every morning from the time he was born until about a year ago. He didn't get away with that in my house. What happens in his house, I have no control over,but I don't give in to crying tantrums.

He hasn't been at my house in over a year. My sister gives him everything and anything he asks for. OK, that's fine, I don't have to deal with him on a daily basis, so what do I care. But now, as he is getting older, I see what kind of monster she is creating.

Here are a few examples. In February, my DS10 had a bowling party. I invited my sister to come by with nephew. My sister knew it was a party of 10 year old boys. I invited my nephew because I know he likes to bowl. My sister shows up, and asks me if I asked for the bumper lanes. I told her I did not, because the kids are 10yo and they would think the bumpers are babyish. She lookd at me wide-eyed and shocked. She needed the bumpers because her DS cries and carries on if he doesn't knock down any pins. So, instead of teaching the kid that's it's OK to miss, it's lets just make him happy. The thing is, even having the bumpers doesn't guarantee he will knock down a pin every time. (he didn't and we all knew it).

So, more recently, like today. I call my sister up to see what her and my nephew were doing this afternoon. I decided spur of the moment to take the kids to see Toy Story 3 and wanted to invite them along. She thought about it, and then decided no, because the next movie her ds wants to see is The Karate Kid. WHAT???? So, he can't see ANYTHING else before he sees the Karate Kid?

I mean, I have heard of parents spoiling their kids, but my sister has taken it to another level.

Just venting here. I truly hope my sister realizes soon she needs to stop this, or he is gong to be a monster in the coming years.

 

[dakcp2001]

One of those instances where you have to just let the parents be the parents and let them suffer the consequences! WHen he gets to school, I feel sorry for the teachers of the spoiled "never heard the word no" children. They are really the ones that have to deal with it. This is why teachers should get paid more than athletes. lol.

 

[Kim&Chris]

Disney1fan: If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were writing about MY sister, and MY nephew.

Same deal; cries and carries on if he doesn't get his way. So how does my sister quiet him down? She takes him to Target and buys whatever he's crying for.

It's horrible, and embarrassing.

 

[Northstar]

Look, it's fair enough to have an opinion that your sister is spoiling her son. And to come here to vent and give examples.

But the thing about not seeing Toy Story 3 with you? That's not a good example of giving her son everything he wants. She didn't even ask him if he wanted to go. Spoiling him would be to take you up on the invitation and then asking you to change what movie you're going to see because the spoiled one has to see what he wants to see.

It sounds to me like she didn't want to go for some reason and gave you the first excuse that came to mind. Being the child-centered mom that she is, the first excuse that came to mind was about her snowflake.

 

[Nik's Mom]

One of those instances where you have to just let the parents be the parents and let them suffer the consequences! WHen he gets to school, I feel sorry for the teachers of the spoiled "never heard the word no" children. They are really the ones that have to deal with it. This is why teachers should get paid more than athletes. lol.

I agree with you on both counts. This kid is in for a rough road when he learns that the world does not revolve around him. The mother is not doing him any favors.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Oh that would drive me bonkers. Absolutely up a WALL.

Poor DD probably thinks her middle name is "no."

 

[Disney Doll]

Too bad that the kid is going to grow up being a pain int he neck, peopel are going to dislike and he's not going to know why because he will think this is the way it should be.

I have a Sis-IL like that...one of her kids is OK, the other one is going to grow up to be a serial killer.

And no, I'm not kidding...

 

[Disneyrsh]

.

 

[boyob13]

Look, it's fair enough to have an opinion that your sister is spoiling her son. And to come here to vent and give examples.

But the thing about not seeing Toy Story 3 with you? That's not a good example of giving her son everything he wants. She didn't even ask him if he wanted to go. Spoiling him would be to take you up on the invitation and then asking you to change what movie you're going to see because the spoiled one has to see what he wants to see.

It sounds to me like she didn't want to go for some reason and gave you the first excuse that came to mind. Being the child-centered mom that she is, the first excuse that came to mind was about her snowflake.

I think she was saying how much her nephew "controls" her sister so that anything that he doesn't want to do or doesn't like won't have to be done. Her sister even said "then decided no, because the next movie her ds wants to see is The Karate Kid".

 

[daisyyy]

Hey... R you my sister?? I'm telling mom !

 

[Disney1fan2002]

But the thing about not seeing Toy Story 3 with you? That's not a good example of giving her son everything he wants. She didn't even ask him if he wanted to go. Spoiling him would be to take you up on the invitation and then asking you to change what movie you're going to see because the spoiled one has to see what he wants to see.

It sounds to me like she didn't want to go for some reason and gave you the first excuse that came to mind. Being the child-centered mom that she is, the first excuse that came to mind was about her snowflake.

The bolding is mine, and it's makes my point. She is answering for him, because she is afraid of his reaction if she tells him they are going to see a movie, but it won't be Karate Kid. She does everthing and anything under the sun to avoid him having any type of a meltdown.

I'm sorry, but it was the movie that made me realize she has taken this to another level. She declined my invitation to see Toy Story 3, not because her DS would not like it, but it is not the movie he wants to see next. That's it. God forbid an opportunity arrives where he could see a different movie.

Also, I should clarify that the reason this irks me is it does mess up my plans to take my kids to movies. DD wants to spend the afternoon with my sister and nephew. Actually, she is spending the night. The main reason I invited them to come to the movies, is so DD could go to the movies and spend time with her cousin. Now that my sister declined, DD will have to choose whether she wants to go see a movie with her brothers or go to my sister's house. It will be her choice, but I think it stinks that she has to make the choice because my sister won't take her DS to see a movie unless it's the Karate Kid. It is just my opinion, but I think it is ridiculous to turn down a movie invitation because it's not the movie he's been asking to see.

 

[minkydog]

Too bad that the kid is going to grow up being a pain int he neck, peopel are going to dislike and he's not going to know why because he will think this is the way it should be.

I have a Sis-IL like that...one of her kids is OK, the other one is going to grow up to be a serial killer.

And no, I'm not kidding...

I have two sisters who each have a child like the OPs nephew. I don't know if it's because the children were both born late in life or what. My DNiece turned 12 this year and DNephew will be 9 or 10. I can't stand to be around either one of them. Both have been indulged to the nth degree. Neither one says please, thank you or excuse me. They just ricochet through life leaving a wake of broken furniture and torn up books everywhere they go. And their parents let it happen! DNephew's mom has even said that she works hard during the week, she doesn't want to spend her off time disciplining kids. DNiece is just her parents' special snowflake. Both of them have so many toys that you literally cannot walk into their room--every available flat surface is coated in toys, papers, and junk. Both kids have terrible diets because their parents have NEVER enforced nutritious eating. Of course, at their ages now it is highly unlikely that either one of them will wake up one day and say "Hey! I think a salad and grilled chicken sounds like a yummy meal. No more McNuggets for me!" Both kids are either overweight or obese--the 9yo weighs over 120 and he's about 4'6". The 12yo weighs about 130. Her entire diet is french fries, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and pop-tarts. That's child abuse, IMO.

Unfortunately, both these kids are also on the autism spectrum. DNephew was diagnosed at 5 and DNiece was diagosed a few months ago. Both of their parents went into this testing kicking, screaming, and denying, so neither kid has had the benefit of much treatment. There has been no training for these kids, no teaching of social cues. THese kids don't know how to give and take and be a friend.

I just get sick thinking about these kids. I"m sure they are nice kids on some level, but they're so obnoxious I can't seem to get to that level. They alienate their peers, their teachers, and the aunts,uncles, and cousins. I live in fear that my DSis and BIL will die--they are both over 350-lbs and have seriuos health problems. DNiece is their only child. If they die, there is NO ONE who wants to take this girl because she is so difficult. Oh, we'll do it, no doubt. Not *we* we, but one of the aunties will. There is no way that our family could withstand the drama and contentiousness this girls drags along with her. Sometimes I fantasize about kicking all these parents right in the shins for being stupid.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

The bolding is mine, and it's makes my point. She is answering for him, because she is afraid of his reaction if she tells him they are going to see a movie, but it won't be Karate Kid. She does everthing and anything under the sun to avoid him having any type of a meltdown.

I'm sorry, but it was the movie that made me realize she has taken this to another level. She declined my invitation to see Toy Story 3, not because her DS would not like it, but it is not the movie he wants to see next. That's it. God forbid an opportunity arrives where he could see a different movie.

Also, I should clarify that the reason this irks me is it does mess up my plans to take my kids to movies. DD wants to spend the afternoon with my sister and nephew. Actually, she is spending the night. The main reason I invited them to come to the movies, is so DD could go to the movies and spend time with her cousin. Now that my sister declined, DD will have to choose whether she wants to go see a movie with her brothers or go to my sister's house. It will be her choice, but I think it stinks that she has to make the choice because my sister won't take her DS to see a movie unless it's the Karate Kid. It is just my opinion, but I think it is ridiculous to turn down a movie invitation because it's not the movie he's been asking to see.

Maybe you should ask your dd if she would want to see Karate Kid?

Your nephew may be spoiled as all get out but it sounds like you're mad because your dd has to make a choice about the movie or spending time with your sister and those plans were already in place.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

I have a 14 year old niece who was indulged far too much in life. She pouts, stomps her feet, screams, and cries when she does not get her way. Did I mention she is FOURTEEN? Our families were supposed to get together at Outback to celebrate my MIL's birthday. 30 minutes before we were supposed to arrive, DH gets a call from his brother telling us to meet at Red Robin instead. Seems Snowy likes the fries there. Seriously? Everyone (3 families involved) had to change their plans at the last minute to please this girl! I had the pleasure of going dress shopping with her and her mother for her 8th grade graduation dress. Good Lord! Her mother said no to a dress that she liked and she plopped on the floor of Macy's, crossed her legs, folded her arms, stared off into space and refused to move. Guess what? She got the dress! Mom did not want to be embarassed in Macys.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Maybe you should ask your dd if she would want to see Karate Kid?

Your nephew may be spoiled as all get out but it sounds like you're mad because your dd has to make a choice about the movie or spending time with your sister and those plans were already in place.

I'm not mad. I am just annoyed that she spoils him like this. Why would I ask DD if she wants to see Karate Kid? My sister is not going to the movies. If she were, then my dd would be happy to see Karate Kid with my nephew.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

Why would I ask DD if she wants to see Karate Kid? My sister is not going to the movies. If she were, then my dd would be happy to see Karate Kid with my nephew.

Exactly. You were going to the movies. You invited sister and nephew to come along with you. I certainly wouldn't decide to change movies because nephew would rather see Karate Kid. At least your sister spared you the horror of bringing him along only to watch him throw a fit at the box office.

 

[camreesmom]

Unfortunately, I can tell you what this child will be like at 13/14 because you have described my sister and nephew to a t! The thing that really got me was when I found out that she wakes him up in the morning for him but not until she has started the shower for him and gotten the water to the perfect temp. Seriously?? This kid is almost 14 years old and his mom has to get the shower ready for him?

The last straw was at my sons' graduation a few weeks ago. ALL of our 8 kids were there so we were trying to get a picture of all of them together. Our oldest two are married and out on their own so they don't always make it to every event and this was a very special day with us. Well, my DN "got his feelings hurt" and started crying because we asked him to step out of the picture so they left right then. It's not like we hadn't already taken pictures with him either. They didn't even come to the party we had for the boys, say bye, nothing! Just got in their car and left.

 

[handinpocket]

The real issue is control battles between you and your sister.
The kid is just a collateral issue.

Agreed. The examples given were not examples of a spoiled child. I would want my 5 year old to have bumpers at a bowling ally too, it would be absolutely pointless if he guttered the ball every darn time.

As for the movies, sounds like she just didn't want to go with you.

 

[allison443]

Also, I should clarify that the reason this irks me is it does mess up my plans to take my kids to movies. DD wants to spend the afternoon with my sister and nephew. Actually, she is spending the night. The main reason I invited them to come to the movies, is so DD could go to the movies and spend time with her cousin. Now that my sister declined, DD will have to choose whether she wants to go see a movie with her brothers or go to my sister's house. It will be her choice, but I think it stinks that she has to make the choice because my sister won't take her DS to see a movie unless it's the Karate Kid. It is just my opinion, but I think it is ridiculous to turn down a movie invitation because it's not the movie he's been asking to see.

Not sure if I understand...it was planned in advance your dd was supposed to spend the afternoon at your sister's house with her cousin?

Then this morning you want to change the plans to you, your sister, your dd, your sons, and your nephew all going to the movies this afternoon? And your dd is being given the choice of whether she wants to go to the movies or go to her cousin's house as she originally promised?

Somewhere your sister is posting on a message board about how you wanted to change plans from hanging out at her house to going to the movies...maybe she has stuff to do at home and doesn't want to spend the afternoon at Toy Story.

 

[klj27]

I really feel sorry for that kid's teachers.......