MY SIL has seen her baby grandchild ...

[BelleWDW]

Twice since he was born

In 4 months
The day he was born

Three weeks later she slept there 2 nights so Mommie could get some sleep when Daddy (her son) was out of town

She is a giving , wonderful woman-her other son visits often (every other week) with hisDD

Both sons are mature, good jobs, late 30's-live only 15 minutes apart


She is hurt

 

[S. C.]

 

[shortbun]

Has she called them? Maybe they don't want to overwhelm her and are really overwhelmed themselves with the change a baby brings. When my son was a newborn, it was hard for me to think of anything but him. I had lots of people call to say-hey, can we come over and see the baby? I almost never said no and I loved the company -and help. Tell her to make an move toward them and see what happens. She could take them dinner, invite her DIL out to lunch with the baby, volunteer to come over and help out with whatever they need. To some couples, having a baby is kinda stressful.

 

[disneychrista]

Are you saying that they are keeping him from her? Why doesn't she go see the baby?

 

[disykat]

I'm also confused. Are they telling her she isn't welcome to visit? Has she invited them to visit her and they said no? If so, that is very sad.

 

[Longsx3]

The first thing that came to my Mind is:does she smoke?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm not understanding the issue.

Is she being prevented from seeng the grandchild, does she expect personal invites, or is this just the way it is?

I have relatives that live locally (after 10 years of us having noone locally) and though they are close in distance--we have our lives and don't see each other as often as perhaps other families might choose.

 

[MarilIncredible]

Well, I haven't seen my nephew ever since he's been born and he will be 2 in March.

My SIL is psycho and has a very weird relationship with her brother (my DH).

I don't know when I'll get to meet the little tyke.

 

[BelleWDW]

Every time she calls they are busy-and then they dont suggest coming another time-or the next weekend.
(all work)

The couple drove 3 hours to another state today to trick or treat in Mommie's sister's gated community(and spend the night)-they have a 3 year old-who SIL misses seeing also.

So its not like they are totally overwhelmed, IMO.


Actually- I didnt realize any of this until today when i asked my MIL -who is Dh's and SIL's Mother, why we haven't seen any new pics of the baby-that I was told all this.

 

[diznygirl]

Maybe they are overhwelmed or having some other issues, so they haven't felt like making the effort. Today is Halloween, so something had to be done, but they could go back to being hermits after this.

I'd worry in another month or so if they didn't get into a routine by then.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Maybe the lack of contact has nothing at all to do with the Grandma.

I have to say that when my babies were tiny I didn't want a single soul to breath on them.... they were so tiny and vulnerable. I tended to relent with my DS once the summer hit and was 6 months old, strong, healthy & fully vaccinated. But, when my DD was born a fragile preemie in March, the beginning of Flu season, and the Dr's warned me about all the respiratory diseases she was at risk for NO-ONE was allowed to hold her. I even postponed her Baptism until the summer because of the worry.

If I happened to have a baby right now during this new Flu epidemic there is no way on this earth I would let a single soul into my home or anywhere remotely close to my baby. I would assume the Dr's told your SIL's DIL to limit contact with people...I can't imagine them not warning her since the baby is high risk due to age and too young to be inoculated. Why risk it?

 

[mickeywho?]

I have to agree with the posters above. I think she's being a little thin-skinned. She's probably taking this a bit too personally.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

Wow. This is an incredibly hurtful situation for you SIL. I have the same shunning occuring in my family. It's best to analyze the situation and then determine a course of action. But people are funny and not amenable to rational analysis.

 

[Dan Murphy]

My one grandson is 3 1/2 months, has yet to be here (our house) yet. They (mom and dad) are both very busy. We go there, going again tomorrow. Other two, again, we mostly go there, too much a schlep at these ages (oldest is 2 1/2, other is 2 months) to bring them here, so we go there.

 

[Piecey]

I thought this was going to go the other way....


We've made efforts to go see my MIL (Lucas is her first grandchild) and she keeps bailing out on us. It's really hurting my DH.

In the end it's the kid who really gets hurt Hopefully they figure it out before the kid is old enough to realize there is a problem

 

[C.Ann]

The first thing that came to my Mind is:does she smoke?

Or maybe she shops in Walmart - gasp!!!

That's one of the wildest "assumptions" I've seen on the DIS in a long time..

 

[georgina]

This thread makes me glad I don't have family nearby. Visiting with grandparents four to six times a year is standard in my family.

 

[Zandy595]

Or maybe she shops in Walmart - gasp!!!

That's one of the wildest "assumptions" I've seen on the DIS in a long time..

I don't know... it makes sense to me. I wouldn't want someone who smokes to be around my newborn. I've heard about the harm that 3rd hand smoke can cause.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't know... it makes sense to me. I wouldn't want someone who smokes to be around my newborn. I've heard about the harm that 3rd hand smoke can cause.

I understand that - but where on God's green earth did that "assumption" come from based on the very few sentences the OP typed? This is all she wrote:

Twice since he was born

In 4 months
The day he was born

Three weeks later she slept there 2 nights so Mommie could get some sleep when Daddy (her son) was out of town

She is a giving , wonderful woman-her other son visits often (every other week) with hisDD

Both sons are mature, good jobs, late 30's-live only 15 minutes apart


She is hurt

-----------------------------------------------



That's quite a leap in my book..

 

[DisneyLover83]

My Dh and I do not have children yet but we live 10 miles from my IL's and we see them maybe twice a year and I can not see it changing just because we have children. My Dh never had a good relationship with them, he was sent to a boarding school in his teens so he has not lived with them or had a relationship with them in 17 years. It is just the way it is, no one really dislikes anyone else, we just don't hang out together. Maybe they (mother and son) never had a "great" relationship and this is just stemming from it?