My Roommate's A Slob

[disneyfav4ever]

Are both names on the lease? How soon can you be out?

The fact that the dishes covered in mold belong to the apartment worries me even more. She could be costing you a ton of money in ruined items. The landlord is not likely to car which of you ruined the things.

Both are names are on the lease. We are both legally responsible for any damages to the apartment.

 

[Briarmom]

Both are names are on the lease. We are both legally responsible for any damages to the apartment.

Ugh, that stinks!
How much longer do you have the lease?
Can you move in with your boyfriend after that?

 

[marlynnp]

I'm confused. When did you move? I thought you were living in your Grandmother's old house with your sister!

Did you both sign the lease? When's it up?

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I'm confused. When did you move? I thought you were living in your Grandmother's old house with your sister!

Did you both sign the lease? When's it up?

I don't know where you got that idea from. As I posted earlier in this thread, I live with someone I went to high school with.

 

[aristocatz]

Had this problem once...we gathered all the pots, plates, cups (he used to leave half full protein drinks around the house –old milk bad), etc. and put them in his room….on his bed

When he got home we told him nicely anything not cleaned would not be left in a "common" room but he was welcome to keep it all in his bedroom

after that he finally got the picture we wouldn’t be cleaning up after him

I did that once too & it worked like a charm!!!! Ugh, my roommates days

OP: I would move out once your lease is up-the moldy dishes in the dishwasher would be the dealbreaker for me and I am FAR from a neat freak!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I know people are trying to help OP remedy a bad situation, but I'm not sure if suggesting she move in with her boyfriend is a good idea either. If their relationship were that far along, I think this would have happened already. I'd just hate to see her move from one bad situation into another situation they might not yet be prepared for, which might then turn into another bad situation, all because she was feeling rushed to make an immediate change. Anyway OP, I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you.

 

[luvmy3]

I would speak to the landlord. Leaving food crusted dishes around long enough to crust with mold means you probably have critters or soon will. That becomes a problem for all people living in the building, not just your apartment. This could cause major trouble for the landlord. Maybe if they went to your roommate she'd get the message.

 

[phorsenuf]

I know people are trying to help OP remedy a bad situation, but I'm not sure if suggesting she move in with her boyfriend is a good idea either. If their relationship were that far along, I think this would have happened already. I'd just hate to see her move from one bad situation into another situation they might not yet be prepared for, which might then turn into another bad situation, all because she was feeling rushed to make an immediate change. Anyway OP, I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you.

According to her ticker they've been dating almost 5 years now. I would imagine by now it's pretty serious.

 

[wdwfan16]

I know people are trying to help OP remedy a bad situation, but I'm not sure if suggesting she move in with her boyfriend is a good idea either. If their relationship were that far along, I think this would have happened already. I'd just hate to see her move from one bad situation into another situation they might not yet be prepared for, which might then turn into another bad situation, all because she was feeling rushed to make an immediate change. Anyway OP, I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you.

Dr. Laura says that after 2 years you are ready or it is time to move on. To have a fiance for 5 years and he has never seen your apartment is not the norm.


OP is this roommate a person who you are related to?

 

[PrincessKsMom]

According to her ticker they've been dating almost 5 years now. I would imagine by now it's pretty serious.

I would think it could be serious too, unless OP's only 19 or 20 and been dating since she was 14 or 15. I don't know how old OP is. Again, if this is what they'd like to do, that's great, but I don't think they should move in together just because she's unhappy with her roommate. They should decide they're ready for the next step, not being forced into per se.

Dr. Laura says that after 2 years you are ready or it is time to move on. To have a fiance for 5 years and he has never seen your apartment is not the norm.


OP is this roommate a person who you are related to?

I'm sorry, I don't give any credence to these TV/Internet therapists/personalities and their opinion of what they think is appropriate. I mean really, two years? I don't agree at all.

 

[bumbershoot]

According to her ticker they've been dating almost 5 years now. I would imagine by now it's pretty serious.

But aren't they pretty young? Allowances can be made when people start dating young.


Plus, moving in for financial reasons when you're not totally ready can really mess things up for some. I was older and engaged, but for some reason just did NOT want to live with a guy (a roomie would have been fine, but not someone that I was involved with) until we were married. Then my roommate bailed a month after signing a new lease, I had NO other unmarried friends, and I had to have DH move in. It was nearly the end of us; we just weren't ready.

Move in because you WANT to, not because your roommate is rotten or you financially need someone helping out....



wdwfan16, just b/c she's taking pictures to show a mess means the bf hasn't EVER seen the apt? I take pictures of things around the house to show hubby while he's away...doesn't mean he's never seen our condo. He's probably just living elsewhere (or she is).

My brother met his now-wife soph year of college. He could have dated her for 5 years, not lived with her, and it wouldn't have been weird...it isn't what he did, they married after he finished with college (she was done the year before), but they could have waited and it would have been totally normal.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I'm not going to be answering any questions about my relationship. Me and my boyfriend not living together has nothing to do with my roommate being a slob.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

OP is this roommate a person who you are related to?

This is the thrid time I've posted this. I live with someone I went to high school with.

 

[minniecarousel]

hmmmm....moldy dishes - you two need to talk. That ain't right!

Good luck.

 

[RunningGirl]

If this is a short-term arrangement I would figure out how to deal with it. I think I'd go ahead and just run the dishwasher every other day. I'd also scrape out the pots she leaves on the counter and put them in there as well. Don't empty it if you're not using the dishes; it won't take you more than a minute to do. If there are plates with food remnants in there, eventually I'd expect you'll be dealing not just with mold but also with bugs.

 

[sunnyday123]

Honestly, I think it's pretty gross that you know there are moldy dishes in the dishwasher and left them too. It takes a hot minute to throw in some detergent and press the button. I'm pretty sure at some point, it's gonna smell.

Have you had a talk with her about her sloppiness? Tell her you'd like to start using the dishwasher but can't if she's got it all jammed up with her stuff.

 

[disykat]

Honestly, I think it's pretty gross that you know there are moldy dishes in the dishwasher and left them too. It takes a hot minute to throw in some detergent and press the button. I'm pretty sure at some point, it's gonna smell.

People keep saying this. It grosses me out that people think putting soap in and pushing the button is going to take care of crusted on mold!

 

[minkydog]

I wouldn't mind doing all the cleaning if I were being paid for it. But she always seems to be broke, borrowing money from me when the utlities are due, and she always needs cash from me a few days before she gets paid, as her previous paycheck is already spent.

This is an interesting tidbit. So not only is she a complete slob, but you're subsidizing her lifestyle. I think you have even bigger problems than mold here. You need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with this girl. Take plenty of pictures and tell her she has one week to get it cleaned up or you're taking the pix to the landlord. If she refuses or "just never got around to it" go to your landlord and lay it all on the line. Maybe you can't get through to her, but I bet the landlord can.

And stop bailing her out! You're enabling her to not pay her own way and then getting upset because she's not doing what she ought to do. You're sending her a mixed message--"I'll be mad if you don't clean up and don't pay your way, but I'm not going to do anything about it. In fact, I'll even pay your bills for you!"

How much longer on your lease?

 

[PirateSnowmen]

People keep saying this. It grosses me out that people think putting soap in and pushing the button is going to take care of crusted on mold!

I don't know how easy/hard it is to get mold off of dishes, but another aspect is that if the OP does her roommate's dishes, it's going to be even harder to get her roommate to do her own dishes in the future. She clearly doesn't care that her dishes are moldy, and if the OP washes them for her, why should she do it for herself? I had the same problem with my roommate when it came to cleaning - she just flat out didn't care if everything was a mess. If I left it a mess, she didn't care. If I cleaned it, she would just get the idea in her head that I would clean up her mess every time.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I don't understand why she just doesn't use paper plates, since then she wouldn't have to wash dishes, and mostly all she eats is take-out anyway. But she "doesn't like them."

I don't like them either - but I don't have a dishwasher and I don't like doing dishes.

Let's see... use real dishes, place food on dishes, eat food, wash dishes, put dishes away, get hungry, make food, place food on dishes, eat food, wash dishes, put dishes away, get hungry, make food, place food on dishes, eat food, wash dishes, put dishes away...
or
make food, place food on paper plate, eat food, throw away plate, take out trash...
or
make food, eat food out of microwave-safe container in which it was purchased, throw container away, take out trash...

Yeah. Unless I have company, I go with B or C