My Roommate's A Slob

[disneyfav4ever]

People keep saying this. It grosses me out that people think putting soap in and pushing the button is going to take care of crusted on mold!

I know for a fact it won't. I mean the plates are completely covered, and need to be soaked, scrubbed, and then maybe a run through the dishwasher will help.

This is an interesting tidbit. So not only is she a complete slob, but you're subsidizing her lifestyle. I think you have even bigger problems than mold here. You need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with this girl. Take plenty of pictures and tell her she has one week to get it cleaned up or you're taking the pix to the landlord. If she refuses or "just never got around to it" go to your landlord and lay it all on the line. Maybe you can't get through to her, but I bet the landlord can.

And stop bailing her out! You're enabling her to not pay her own way and then getting upset because she's not doing what she ought to do. You're sending her a mixed message--"I'll be mad if you don't clean up and don't pay your way, but I'm not going to do anything about it. In fact, I'll even pay your bills for you!"

How much longer on your lease?

She pays me back. She's just not good with putting aside money for the bills. She knows her half is around $100 each month, so common sense would make you think she'd put aside $25 a week or whatever. She doesn't she spends all her money as she gets it, and lives paycheck to paycheck. It's not my business how she spends her money, and as long as I keep on getting paid back right away, I'm not going to tell her what to do with it.

 

[wdwfan16]

I know for a fact it won't. I mean the plates are completely covered, and need to be soaked, scrubbed, and then maybe a run through the dishwasher will help.

She pays me back. She's just not good with putting aside money for the bills. She knows her half is around $100 each month, so common sense would make you think she'd put aside $25 a week or whatever. She doesn't she spends all her money as she gets it, and lives paycheck to paycheck. It's not my business how she spends her money, and as long as I keep on getting paid back right away, I'm not going to tell her what to do with it.

$100/month would only cover cable and utilities. How much is the rent?

 

[luvmy3]

People keep saying this. It grosses me out that people think putting soap in and pushing the button is going to take care of crusted on mold!

ITA, since throwing them out is not an option (which is exactly what I would do) they would need to be soaked and scrubbed and scrubbed some more and then ran through on the heaviest setting with a sani-rinse (and I still wouldnt use them after that). None of this is the OP's responsibility and she should be leaving them there until she could show the roommate and confront her.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I don't know how easy/hard it is to get mold off of dishes, but another aspect is that if the OP does her roommate's dishes, it's going to be even harder to get her roommate to do her own dishes in the future. She clearly doesn't care that her dishes are moldy, and if the OP washes them for her, why should she do it for herself? I had the same problem with my roommate when it came to cleaning - she just flat out didn't care if everything was a mess. If I left it a mess, she didn't care. If I cleaned it, she would just get the idea in her head that I would clean up her mess every time.

While I agree with you that this is the case, I think the bigger issues now are:

1. This is going to quickly become a health issue for the OP (if it is not already attracting vermin it will soon--and breathing in all those mold spores is not healthy either).

2. The landlord could easily hold BOTH girls responsible for the damage. OP could lose her entire deposit and possibly be evicted (if critters start to be an issue in the building because of this it is a likely outcome) if this does not get cleaned up. The landlord did not tell OP she had to be roommates with this slob, OP and the slob came in together to sign a lease--as far as the landlord is concerned they are probably both responsible for everything.

That is why I think it is better to suck it up and clean for the slob at this point. Doing the extra cleaning (and yes, once OP does that she will have to keep doing it I am sure) is a lot better than losing money, being evicted and/or getting sick from the filth.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That is why I think it is better to suck it up and clean for the slob at this point. Doing the extra cleaning (and yes, once OP does that she will have to keep doing it I am sure) is a lot better than losing money, being evicted and/or getting sick from the filth.

Agree. Do the extra cleaning, live in a clean place and then get the hell out when your lease is up.

Simpler, less drama, less impact on your life.

Use it as a life lesson to never ever do anything with money, living, vacationing, etc... with this person again.

And also in your next venture don't make the same mistakes.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

$100/month would only cover cable and utilities. How much is the rent?

That's what I always lend her money for. Her parents give pay her rent, she's only responsible for utilities.

 

[NHdisneylover]

That's what I always lend her money for. Her parents give pay her rent, she's only responsible for utilities.

In that case SHE has nothing to lose (I am assuming her parents also paid who deposit then). Perhaps you should consider approaching her parents. It would be awkward, but you might be able to get somewhere through that route. Focus on your concerns about losing the deposit (affects them directly) and possibly being evicted (affects them insofar as they have to find her a new, possibly more expensive place to live) and not on your frustration. Maybe you can ask them if they have any ideas for you on how you can best approach their daughter to resolve the situation. Maybe that will spur them into action to talk to her

 

[HM]

We had a girl like that in our dorm in college. Her roommate had to turn her in and she was booted out. She never cleaned anything. She put all her dirty dishes, pots and pans, and trash under her bed. It was disgusting.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would go on-the-record with a written notice to the Landlord/Rental company, that you are now aware that your roommate is not maintaining, and possibly destroying, rental property (dishes, dishwasher, etc.. etc...)

When this is delivered, in person, I would ask the Landlord what arrangements could be made for terminating your lease... What would the cost be, how much of a prior notice, etc....

I would find a way out of this toxic and potentially VERY COSTLY situation, ASAP.

PS: Don't know (until you try) if the dishwasher could handle this situation by running it a few times on the heaviest cycle with plenty of dishwasher detergent. But, considering the OP's financial liability, as well as the toxic mold issues... I'll be darned if I wouldn't be in there, right now, running that thing.

PSS: If I am not mistaken, the OP has has issues with her past living arrangements that were well debated here in the past.... Same thing with the 'long time boyfriend' thing.... I'll will just be honest, and with all due respect (trying to find a way to word this nicely), say that I believe that the OP does not handle/process things the way most people would.

 

[CathrynRose]

In that case SHE has nothing to lose (I am assuming her parents also paid who deposit then). Perhaps you should consider approaching her parents. It would be awkward, but you might be able to get somewhere through that route. Focus on your concerns about losing the deposit (affects them directly) and possibly being evicted (affects them insofar as they have to find her a new, possibly more expensive place to live) and not on your frustration. Maybe you can ask them if they have any ideas for you on how you can best approach their daughter to resolve the situation. Maybe that will spur them into action to talk to her

See? Told you.

This is what I would do, as well. They're paying for their kid to be a pig. I'd be pissed if I found out that I was paying my boys way, helping him out, and he was being a slob.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

See? Told you.

This is what I would do, as well. They're paying for their kid to be a pig. I'd be pissed if I found out that I was paying my boys way, helping him out, and he was being a slob.

Yes, you think they'd care that their daughter was destroying personal property of another.

 

[NHdisneylover]

See? Told you.

This is what I would do, as well. They're paying for their kid to be a pig. I'd be pissed if I found out that I was paying my boys way, helping him out, and he was being a slob.

You told me or your told OP I cannot find any other posts from you on the thread. I am so confused

Yes, you think they'd care that their daughter was destroying personal property of another.

So have you already tried telling them then? Also is SHE on the lease or are They?

 

[CathrynRose]

You told me or your told OP I cannot find any other posts from you on the thread. I am so confused

The OP, sorry.

 

[NHdisneylover]

The OP, sorry.

Oh thank goodness. I have been so busy lately that I was wondering if I had read something and totally forgotten it I absolutely should not be DISsing now but I have reached a point of mental exhaustion so I am just to relax in between each little task and I really was wondering if I was trying to do too much

OP--please let us know if you call the parents. Better yet call them to say you have a concern and you really need to talk to them and invite them over to talk so they can see first hand.

 

[wvjules]

I think the OP needs to live alone. Less problems for all involved.

 

[happygirl]

I think the OP needs to live alone. Less problems for all involved.

I agree she had issues with her parents and now this person. Some people are better left to themselves

 

[LoveDisney!!!]

Forgive me if this has already been asked (and answered), but why not just live with your boyfriend (I assume you really mean fiance though)? I know you said before that your schedules don't match well, but I would take a day off and look for a place together (or have him move in with you). I mean, you will be getting married, so why not move in together now??? It would save you from this headache.

You shouldn't live with someone that is going to make you miserable. So, you should either tell her that she has to starighten up or you need to find someone else to move in with. Unless, of course, your roommate if family and it would cause even more drama.

Still, I stand by my answer of living with your fiance.

Many, many because it sounds like you have a lot to deal with.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think the OP needs to live alone. Less problems for all involved.

Not a bad idea once OP can get out of this lease. I never had real problems with my dorm roommates (2-as I stayed in the dorms 2 years) but I did find that I am easily annoyed by other people's habits (and they are probably equally annoyed by mine). I was MUCH happier in a tiny studio ALONE than I would have been in a bigger place with a roommate.

 

[binny]

just so Im clear on this, you are renting a fully furnished house, including dishes and all neccesary items? So a fully furnished suite? What is the management company like? Will they work with you at all?

Are those situations common where you live? We dont see a lot of those outside of dorms or luxury executive suites so Im curious how they work.
The property management company that we have here is crap so I cant say that they would do much for us at this point.


At this point I would just throw the dishes away and go buy new ones. I mean seriously, youd be out what $30 max for a cheap set at Big Lots? Heck go to Goodwill for that matter and buy a set. It isnt like the landlord is going to care if they arent "his" dishes is he? Just that there be X amount of dishes to go in the house.

You are seriously opening yourself up to all sorts of nasty stuff being in that aparntment just because you think *your* area is clean does NOT mean it is. Mold is a nasty creature and needs to be erradicated. It is not a healthy situation to be in a house that has that much mold.


I would not let her get away with this crap, serving notice to her and CCing the landlord sounds like a good plan to me. Let them both know that she needs to go or you will and that if measures are not taken (one of you being let out of the lease) you will be forced to seek legal actions to protect yourself. That may be a load of crap but see if it works, you know?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow, the insinuations regarding the OP are just not appropriate here.

This is a serious matter, and is not just that she seems to be easily annoyed.

If memory serves, the OP seems to have just the OPPOSITE issue, being in situations where the others involved seriously disrespect her. Maintaining situations where she is subjecting herself to some serious negative repercussions.

OP.... I am not sure if you will understand this, or be able to do this... But, very simply, you need to call the landlord in.... If you do not alert them to this, you are liable, you are 'complicit'.

Perhaps they will relieve your roommate of her lease, and allow you to find another roommate. (and, I am not assuming that your long-term but always 'distant' boyfriend/fiance is the one)

Can we assume that you would like to stay where you are at?

Are there any options where you may be able to find a small place on your own?

If this is like previous threads, I know that you just want to vent, and may not actually be willing or able to take any action. But, all we can do is try to tell you what should be done, in YOUR best interests.