My Roommate's A Slob

[PirateSnowmen]

I just got done living with someone like that. She was a nice person but SUCH a slob. We lived in a tiny dorm room, so it seemed like it made everything so much worse.

- She almost NEVER took out the trash - she kept it in her bed. Yes, she slept with the trash in her bed.
- In the entire time we lived there (9-ish months) she cleaned her side of the room ONCE.
- She left the bathroom (particularly the sink) a total MESS.

I could seriously go on and on. If I didn't clean the room, it stayed a mess. She just literally didn't care. Her side of the room was a total disaster and since it was her side, I didn't tell her to clean it. I did ask her to possibly clean the sink, sweep the floor, etc. every now and then, but that never happened.

When I started looking for apartments to live in for this next school year, she got mad that I decided to live with some other people. There is absolutely NO WAY I am going to live with her again.

OP, I'm sorry you're having to go through this, but I can totally sympathize.

For anyone interested, this was my roommate's bed:

She had just taken out some trash, so it's actually better in this picture than it usually was.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

How will people sleep with stuff all over their bed like that?

I like the idea of putting my kitchen stuff in my room somewhere, and keeping it locked so she's not able to use it.

And to answer the question of what dishes has she been using, I had to ask her the same thing. She keeps a few plates that gets washed as she needs them on the top rack of the dishwasher. I can't imagine that it's healthy "storing" them there, as the bottom rack if full of moldy dishes.

I don't understand why she just doesn't use paper plates, since then she wouldn't have to wash dishes, and mostly all she eats is take-out anyway. But she "doesn't like them."

 

[Sarah_Rose]

Oh man, I had a roommate like that. She was really the nicest person and we got along really great, so for the most part I would just clean my own dishes that I used, and the dishes I needed to survive (like the dirty pots and pans when I needed them) and then leave her filth. She loved to cook, but would always leave a mess with crumbs and vegetable tops and such all over the counters. We always had problems with ants and fruit flies.

Finally, one day she was at work and her boyfriend was over, waiting for her to come home. Her boyfriend and I also got along really well, so we were sitting around watching the Food Network and chatting, when the discussion turned to how gross the kitchen was. I hadn't realized how much it bothered him (and he didn't even live there!) but it turned out he was terrified at the idea of spending the rest of his life in the filth. So, the two of us started to clean. We did all the dishes and wiped down all the counters, and took out all the garbage and recycling, swept and mopped the floor, and then started in on throwing out anything in the fridge that was expired or unrecognizable.

By the time my roommate came home, the kitchen was spotless. There was no way I could have done it on my own, as it would have come across as a personal attack - but because her boyfriend was in on it as well, it really got the point across. My roommate went to her room and cried for a few minutes, and then came out.... and we never had a filth problem ever again.

 

[RitaE]

It seems to me that your problem isn't protecting your special dishes from the roommate - your problem is that you have mold growing in your dishwasher.

Tell her to knock it off and run the bleeping thing.

 

[Silent1CB]

After you realized the dishes were in the dishwasher, why didn't you just run the dishwasher instead of leaving the moldy dishes there?

I like the idea of moving the dirty things to her room.

How about moving in with your fiance? At least when you are cleaning up after someone you love, its not so bad. After 4 yrs, I'm surprised you aren't already living together. Moving from grandmas, I would have moved in with fiance, not a stranger.

 

[disykat]

I don't think just running the dishwasher is going to be enough to deal with crusted on mold. Honestly, the roommate needs to be the one to deal with it. How will she ever learn?

 

[Carly_Roach]

Eww...I'd definitely run the dishwasher with bleach to sterilize it, that's for sure. Here's a web-link on how to clean your dishwasher:

http://www.ehow.com/how_5668707_use-clorox-bleach-dishwashers.html

InstructionsThings You'll Need:

Powdered bleach
White Vinegar
Cups
Paper towels

Step 1 Empty your dishwasher. Remove all of your dishes, utensils and drinking glasses from the dishwasher, after you have run them through their final washing and drying cycle.

Step 2 Remove any visible debris that has settled at the bottom of your dishwasher. Take a look at the inside of your dishwasher; you may notice a buildup of food and debris stuck to the filter on the floor of the dishwasher. Remove as much of the debris as you can using your fingers or a paper towel.

Step 3 Fill the dishwasher detergent receptacle with Clorox powdered bleach. Run the dishwasher as you normally would, minus the dishes. Once the dishwasher has gone through all of the cycles, it should be clean and ready for normal use.

Step 4 Add a cup of white vinegar. Place a cup of vinegar in the bottom rack of the dishwasher, after running the bleach through a cycle. Do not mix the two together. The bleach should be run through one complete cycle (minus the heat cycle), followed by a second complete cycle using the cup of vinegar. After the white vinegar cycle your dishwasher should be odor free, stain free and sparkling clean.

 

[surfergirl602]

If it were me, I would tell her up front in all honesty, that you just looked in the dishwasher, and if its not taken care of by such and such a date/time, that you will clean, and everything that is dirty is going in the trash. Everything. Put your stuff in your room and lock your door. That is disgusting. If the landlord were to see that around these parts, we'd be getting an eviction notice.

 

[wvjules]

How did you end up with such a slob of a roommate? Were you friends before and you thought you could put up with her messiness but now can't take it anymore? Maybe your clutter bothers her as much as her slobiness bothers you.

 

[KAMLEM]

Yikes. Hope I don't end up with somebody like that this fall. I'd report her to whomever it is that you report people like that to: her behavior is unacceptable at best.

Who is she supposed to report her to????

 

[NHdisneylover]

A pp brings up a good point--are both names on the lease? If not, then if only your name is I would tell her she has one week to get things CLEAN or else you will be looking for a new roommate. If only her name is on the lease, reverse that and give her one week to get it clean before you start looking for a new place to live.

With the dishwasher--I would not want to be in the house while it runs (or soon thereafter) as I would worry about the mold getting into the air. I would open all windows wide, run it on HOT with bleach just to start the process. On the other hand--if mold has grown up in the drain because of this someone may need to be home to make sure that the water does not back up and flood into the floor--damage you really do not want to have to pay for I am sure.

I hope your bathroom has not started to get mold/mildew. I cannot imagine cleaning mine only once a week (not full cleaning, but at least rinsing things off which it does not sound like your roommate does even for dishes much less sinks and showers!) much less every other week as yours seems to be at this point. Wouldn't mildew be growing everywhere fast? I strongly suggest you just buckle down and clean it your self until she gets her act together or you can get out of living with her--a battle of wills is only going to cost you at this point (in damage fees and in having to live among filth). Also, unless she is damaging your things (scratching them, breaking them) I would not lock hem in your room. It just draws battle lines which may make everything worse. Leave your dishes in the cupboard like a pleasant, friendly roommate (though I totally get how her actions make you feel anything but pleasant and friendly) and just wash whatever dishes have been used each night yourself. Seriously, it would annoy me that someone left Mac N Cheese on the stove, but I would wash the pot after a day anyway. It seems like you are both digging in your heels and fighting and that will get you nowhere.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

How will people sleep with stuff all over their bed like that?

I like the idea of putting my kitchen stuff in my room somewhere, and keeping it locked so she's not able to use it.

And to answer the question of what dishes has she been using, I had to ask her the same thing. She keeps a few plates that gets washed as she needs them on the top rack of the dishwasher. I can't imagine that it's healthy "storing" them there, as the bottom rack if full of moldy dishes.

I don't understand why she just doesn't use paper plates, since then she wouldn't have to wash dishes, and mostly all she eats is take-out anyway. But she "doesn't like them."

As a former slob, living at home and a turned clean/neat person who lived with a slob, I feel like I know both sides.

1. Sleeping on a bed like that is VERY easy. Growing up I had a queen sized bed but about 2/3 of it was covered in clothes and homework. I just slept across the pillow area.

2. As a someone who's lived with a slob and her even dirtier girlfriend, I had to lock away my dishes and my $400 knife set. Best decision I ever made.

3. That dishwasher thing, while gross, is funny to me- funny in a more ridiculous way. As a former slob, part of it is about being able to get away with it. If she can do it, she will. I wouldn't be surprised if she keeps the same plate, bowl, cup and trio of utensils around and just washes them right before she uses them.

4. It's probably not that she doesn't like them, just that she doesn't want to spend the money on them. And they are flimsy, unless you get the expensive ones.

 

[Silent1CB]

Its obvious she doesn't like to clean. Perhaps she's willing to pay more of the rent if you do all the cleaning? Then you can have it as clean as you like it. And you'll pay less rent.

Did you know or live with her before? A friend or sister? Always been this way?

 

[PrincessKsMom]

She is. She really is. A huge slob. I can't even imagine how it could get any worse.

We used to share dishes, until it became clear that she was never going to wash any. Ever. So I bought my own plates, and now the household ones never get washed. She keeps them in the dishwasher, so it's usually out of sight - out of mind, but I was noticeably low on silverware, (something else I bought my own of,) and checked the dishwasher. The household plates have been there so long, that they've gotten moldy. Like completely crusted in mold. They're gross.

We take turns cleaning the bathroom, we each do it every other weekend. My weekend was two weeks ago, her's should've been last weekend. But she didn't do it. She didn't do it this weekend either.

It's just so annoying, it's like, do I do it myself, so it gets done, and it's not gross, or do I leave it, because otherwise I'll always be the one who gets stuck cleaning everything.

Sorry, I just needed to vent.

If you hadn't said "she", I would have assumed you were also living with my husband. Just keep this in mind if you're ever shopping for a spouse.

 

[iheartnmr's]

Living in filth is gross....especially if it's someone else's filth. Honestly, I'd just swallow my pride, stick a detergent tab in the dishwasher and press start. It'll take 30 seconds.

If you don't and food and the like are allowed to fester in the dishwasher and on the counters, well, expect mice, cockroaches or ants sooner than later.

You also like to cook from what I understand (although i don't recall you ever mentioning a roommate before when doing things like your pantry challenge...it sounded like that was all your food), so I can't imagine trying to cook in a kitchen that's that dirty.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

If it were me, I would tell her up front in all honesty, that you just looked in the dishwasher, and if its not taken care of by such and such a date/time, that you will clean, and everything that is dirty is going in the trash. Everything. Put your stuff in your room and lock your door. That is disgusting. If the landlord were to see that around these parts, we'd be getting an eviction notice.

I can't throw away anything. The stuff that is in the apartment belongs to the apartment. So if I throw anything away, I'd have to pay for it.

How did you end up with such a slob of a roommate? Were you friends before and you thought you could put up with her messiness but now can't take it anymore? Maybe your clutter bothers her as much as her slobiness bothers you.

We went to high school together. And no, I had no idea that she was this much of a slob. She seemed pretty well organized with her school work.

Who is she supposed to report her to????

Maybe our landlord, I was taking pictures of her mess to show my boyfriend, because he did not believe how bad it was. So I do have proof of her mess, even if I do end up cleaning it myself.

I wouldn't be surprised if she keeps the same plate, bowl, cup and trio of utensils around and just washes them right before she uses them.

That's exactly what she does, she has a few pieces that she keeps on the top rack of the dishwasher, and she washes and reuses them as she needs them. I can't imagine that it's healthy to store them above all that mold.

Its obvious she doesn't like to clean. Perhaps she's willing to pay more of the rent if you do all the cleaning? Then you can have it as clean as you like it. And you'll pay less rent.

That is a good idea. I wouldn't mind doing all the cleaning if I were being paid for it. But she always seems to be broke, borrowing money from me when the utlities are due, and she always needs cash from me a few days before she gets paid, as her previous paycheck is already spent.

If you hadn't said "she", I would have assumed you were also living with my husband. Just keep this in mind if you're ever shopping for a spouse.

Honestly, my boyfriend has seen pictures of her mess, and thinks it's as gross as I do, if not thinking it's grosser. So I don't think cleaning will be an issue for us if / when we do live together.

You also like to cook from what I understand (although i don't recall you ever mentioning a roommate before when doing things like your pantry challenge...it sounded like that was all your food), so I can't imagine trying to cook in a kitchen that's that dirty.

We don't share food. We each have our own seperate space where we keep our food, I have the larger pantry, and she keeps her food in the cabinets. So when I cook, and eat, it is just for myself. Anytime I cook, which is daily, I just shove her mess onto her counter, and manage to work around it. I keep the stove, sink, and "my" counter pretty clean, so it's not that bad to cook. I am just grossed out by the fact that she never does her dishes.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Are both names on the lease? How soon can you be out?

The fact that the dishes covered in mold belong to the apartment worries me even more. She could be costing you a ton of money in ruined items. The landlord is not likely to car which of you ruined the things.

 

[Silent1CB]

I vote move in with the boyfriend.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I vote move in with the boyfriend.

I would agree, but I am assuming he is living somewhere else off at college or something since he has only seen pictures of the mess and not been there. Besides, OP may be stuck in a lease, but then again she has been asked about that a few times (twice by me but also by others) and not answered that question So who knows.
OP--if you can get out of the lease and boyfriend lives near by it may well be worth considering to move in together. I do not know (nor want to know) your feelings about pre marital sex, but you CAN live together and not do that if it is an issue for you. I would think it would be a vast improvement over your current situation. That would also give you a graceful way to end the roommate situation (if you want a graceful way out)--you can go the "it isn't that we aren't a good roommate match it is just that Boyfriend and I are ready to take that next step" route.

 

[bumbershoot]

I can't throw away anything. The stuff that is in the apartment belongs to the apartment. So if I throw anything away, I'd have to pay for it.

Then I'd run that dishwasher.

The fact that the dishes covered in mold belong to the apartment worries me even more. She could be costing you a ton of money in ruined items. The landlord is not likely to car which of you ruined the things.

Exactly what I was thinking.