My roommate smells

[kwelch10377]

I couldn't think of any other title, so I figured I would just be blunt about it.

I have 2 roommates, one who I have lived with for a few years and the other just moved in in Sept. Well the one who just moved it has an odor issue. The only way I can describe it without being too gross is that she smells female BO. My other roommate and I just really aren't sure what to do. We know there is no tactful way to tell her that she (and her room) smell. I have no idea if she even realizes it. We can't really avoid the smell because in order to go to the bathroom we have to walk by her room and she always has her door open. We have tried lighting some Yankee Candles, which work a little and we have used Fabreeze, but it usually just ends up smelling like Fabreeze scented BO. I have noticed that other parts of the house are starting to smell right after she has been in them. For example the other night I went to do laundry and she had just finished hers, I had to hold off doing mine because I couldn't stand the smell in the laundry room. I had to wait for it to air out.

My question is more how do we handle/take care of the odor, not how do I tell her that she smells. We live in Boston so keeping the windows open during this time of year isn't an option. I'm not sure what other odor control options have worked for other people. Everything we have tried just really covers it up.

 

[Alsobrook]

Seriously.

You tell her and you ask her to take care of the issue.

"Hey, I want to discuss something with you, and I know this can be a very sensitive issue, but we've noticed a really strong and unpleasant odor in the living space that is coming from you. Please know that it is not my intention to embarrass you or upset you, but I'm frankly compelled to talk to you about this because it's really creating a very uncomfortable situation. Are you aware of the odor?"

"I am hopeful that maybe there are some things that can be done to stop the odor. I am happy to help or make suggestions, and again, I know this is uncomfortable, but it's a serious issue, and it's important that we address it."

 

[happygirl]

I couldn't think of any other title, so I figured I would just be blunt about it.

I have 2 roommates, one who I have lived with for a few years and the other just moved in in Sept. Well the one who just moved it has an odor issue. The only way I can describe it without being too gross is that she smells female BO. My other roommate and I just really aren't sure what to do. We know there is no tactful way to tell her that she (and her room) smell. I have no idea if she even realizes it. We can't really avoid the smell because in order to go to the bathroom we have to walk by her room and she always has her door open. We have tried lighting some Yankee Candles, which work a little and we have used Fabreeze, but it usually just ends up smelling like Fabreeze scented BO. I have noticed that other parts of the house are starting to smell right after she has been in them. For example the other night I went to do laundry and she had just finished hers, I had to hold off doing mine because I couldn't stand the smell in the laundry room. I had to wait for it to air out.

My question is more how do we handle/take care of the odor, not how do I tell her that she smells. We live in Boston so keeping the windows open during this time of year isn't an option. I'm not sure what other odor control options have worked for other people. Everything we have tried just really covers it up.

You tell her nicely, she needs to know. Maybe she thinks it you all.

 

[Arielle22]

Seriously.

You tell her and you ask her to take care of the issue.

"Hey, I want to discuss something with you, and I know this can be a very sensitive issue, but we've noticed a really strong and unpleasant odor in the living space that is coming from you. Please know that it is not my intention to embarrass you or upset you, but I'm frankly compelled to talk to you about this because it's really creating a very uncomfortable situation. Are you aware of the odor?"

"I am hopeful that maybe there are some things that can be done to stop the odor. I am happy to help or make suggestions, and again, I know this is uncomfortable, but it's a serious issue, and it's important that we address it."

This is a great response. It is direct but not mean.

 

[ChiCat]

Seriously.

You tell her and you ask her to take care of the issue.

"Hey, I want to discuss something with you, and I know this can be a very sensitive issue, but we've noticed a really strong and unpleasant odor in the living space that is coming from you. Please know that it is not my intention to embarrass you or upset you, but I'm frankly compelled to talk to you about this because it's really creating a very uncomfortable situation. Are you aware of the odor?"

"I am hopeful that maybe there are some things that can be done to stop the odor. I am happy to help or make suggestions, and again, I know this is uncomfortable, but it's a serious issue, and it's important that we address it."

And just know that even though this is a good way to go about it that she still might be hurt, uspet, or defensive. If she is a reasonable person though she should calm down eventually and try to fix the problem.

 

[AlwaysMoving]

The only way you can handle it is to be direct. Someone above gave a good approach. However, be aware that this may not solve the problem. Some people don't care how they smell. Have you noticed a hygiene routine with her? Does she shower everyday? Is her hair greasy? Does she change her clothes between showers? How often does she do laundry? I hate to admit that I knew someone who was told by her obstetrician to take a shower before she stepped back into the office for another exam. Did that change her? No. She is still a nasty creature by habit.

 

[hambirg]

I think you just tell her, but in an off the cuff way. I think if you bring it up as "we need to discuss" or "we've noticed" she might feel defensive and wonder why you didn't say something sooner. I think you need to bring it up in a way like when your friend tells you you have lipstick on your teeth or something.

If it was me, as I was walking by her room, I would stick my head in and say something like, "Wow. There's a really bed smell coming from in here." Then sniff around like you are trying to find where it's coming from. I think it would be ok to tell her, with a smile on your face, "I think it's you." and then let the conversation go from there. Make it about being willing to help and offer to let her try out your deo and offer up some febreeze or something for the room.

ETA-oh yeah, good luck with that. I hope she isn't one of those people like a PP mentioned and just doesn't care.

 

[USMC0193]

Just do what my high school gym teacher would do . . .

If there was a "smelly girl" she would give them a bar of soap and a wash cloth and tell them to shower because they were "stinking up the gym".

Of course this was back in the late 80's and we weren't too "PC" back then . . . Ms. Phillips, I will never forget you or your wandering eye (she had one eye that would look everywhere else but directly at you).

 

[happygirl]

Just do what my high school gym teacher would do . . .

If there was a "smelly girl" she would give them a bar of soap and a wash cloth and tell them to shower because they were "stinking up the gym".

Of course this was back in the late 80's and we weren't too "PC" back then . . . Ms. Phillips, I will never forget you or your wandering eye (she had one eye that would look everywhere else but directly at you).

That horrible

 

[andymattmom]

I feel so bad for you! Talk to her!

I worked years ago with a lady who smelled horrible--words can't describe and it wasn't B.O. Several of us in department talked to supervisor as a group. They took to management and they nicely discussed with her. Odor didn't go away so again same thing...we talked as a group to manager....management talked to Stinky. Well Stinky thinks we are ganging up on her....her chair stunk and one day we all went into work and the management had 'moved' chairs around (they weren't adjusted right for us). So we were finally told not to go as a group. If we noticed smell we individually without discussing with anyone had to talk to them. Well....that was what worked. Stinky was let go......IDK how they did without lawsuit but she was gone the next day. This was in Phoenix in the summer too!

Good luck....just word it how you would like someone to talk to you if you had the same problem.

 

[kwelch10377]

Thank you for suggestions on ways to tell her.

My question was actually how to deal with the odor itself. I realize one way is to talk to her, but that may not get rid of the odor problem. Is there any method that anyone has used to take care of or help neutralize odors, other than candles and air freshners?

 

[rhino78]

I think it would actually be doing this woman a service to tell her she smells. There are medical conditions that can cause a highly offensive, persistent smell.

I wish I could remember where I saw it, but I remember seeing a program, perhaps 20/20, that dealt with this. Many of these women were devastated because they never realized why they were having problems maintaining relationships and such. People are conditioned to be nice all the time, but sometimes a little brutal honesty is more helpful.

Since you live with her, you probably know if she is merely unhygienic. If eshe showers regularly and is generally pretty cleanly, something more serious might be going on.

 

[punkin]

Be an adult and do as Alsobrook suggested.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Thank you for suggestions on ways to tell her.

My question was actually how to deal with the odor itself. I realize one way is to talk to her, but that may not get rid of the odor problem. Is there any method that anyone has used to take care of or help neutralize odors, other than candles and air freshners?

After I fry fish, I run the air cleaner, but when the dogs smell, I have to give 'em a bath, the air cleaner won't do the job.

 

[Jennasis]

What about one of those ion air filters?

 

[ADisneyQueen]

i use those plug in oil air fresheners in the room where I keep my cat's litter box and it does make difference. If it runs out, it smells worse. You could try several of those.

 

[damien]

Be an adult and do as Alsobrook suggested.

Kind of unfair response.

I have a friend whose brother smells really bad. Whenever we make plans, if he involves his brother, I back out because I can't stand it. Not so easy to tell someone (or a member of their family) that they stink.

 

[kwelch10377]

Be an adult and do as Alsobrook suggested.

I am going to be an adult and decide for myself whether or not to talk to her about. Once again my question was NOT about talking to her about it, as that may not even help the issue, it was about methods to help the odor.


Thank you to those who actually provided suggestions on the question I actually asked.

 

[dfchelbay]

I couldn't think of any other title, so I figured I would just be blunt about it.

I have 2 roommates, one who I have lived with for a few years and the other just moved in in Sept. Well the one who just moved it has an odor issue. The only way I can describe it without being too gross is that she smells female BO. My other roommate and I just really aren't sure what to do. We know there is no tactful way to tell her that she (and her room) smell. I have no idea if she even realizes it. We can't really avoid the smell because in order to go to the bathroom we have to walk by her room and she always has her door open. We have tried lighting some Yankee Candles, which work a little and we have used Fabreeze, but it usually just ends up smelling like Fabreeze scented BO. I have noticed that other parts of the house are starting to smell right after she has been in them. For example the other night I went to do laundry and she had just finished hers, I had to hold off doing mine because I couldn't stand the smell in the laundry room. I had to wait for it to air out.

My question is more how do we handle/take care of the odor, not how do I tell her that she smells. We live in Boston so keeping the windows open during this time of year isn't an option. I'm not sure what other odor control options have worked for other people. Everything we have tried just really covers it up.

So, is this an arm pit odor...or a lower down in the crotch area odor? She needs to be informed about either. She may have smelled this way her entire adolescent/adult life, so she may not know that is not a normal way to smell. Maybe she needs to bath more, or perhaps do some lady-scaping if you know what I mean. At the risk of sounding gross, and inappropriate...hair absorbs and hold the stink. (Sorry) So she may need to keep it to a minimum, or to none at all. Good luck at having this discussion. I know I wouldn't want to have this conversation.

 

[jeepgirl30]

You will not be able to remove the smell until the root of the problem is solved. You will only mask it.

In bathrooms i would wipe down everything with clorox wipes then use glade plug ins, i'd also use those in her bedroom and light some of the glade or airwick candles. they have a clean linen one that smells clean and light.

maybe buy a few of the plug ins and offer one to her, saying you noticed a smell and thought that may help.

good luck.