My neighbors don't want anything to do with us....

[sajetto]

....we wave and smile when we pull into the subdivison, but don't even get a wave back. Only the neigbor to the direct left of us has spoken. Do we need to make some other kind of attempt to be friendly? Do you think maybe they think we are a couple of troublesome "kids" because we are the youngest in the subdivision? Could it be because we are the only ones without children? I guess this is better than having jerks for neighbors that demand we cut down our trees like the woman that is trying to sell her home, but isn't it a little odd that they won't even wave to us? I don't think we've done anything offensive (except we left a bunch of boxes on the front porch a little too long when we were unpacking) and we've been here since April 28th

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Sweetie, just let it go. Sometimes it takes neighbors a bit to warm up and then often times, they just don't. I've got some good neighbors where I live. Directly across from me and to both sides of me we wave to each other often. As a matter of fact, the neighbor's daughter across the street just finished cutting my grass. She offered to do it too. I gave her $30 for her trouble. Grass is thick and she's only about 13, she did some good work too!
Anyway, don't let it get ya down. Enjoy your new place and planning to be a Mrs. next year!

Blessings,

Denise

 

[fabumouse]

I had neighbors once who thought I was unfriendly - and it was really a matter of me thinking "Who is THAT?" and by the time I realized the people waving at me were the new neighbors, they had already turned away. I bet it's not your age or kid-status. I have found that hanging out in the yard doing yardwork manages to draw most of my neighbors over to opine on my progress.

 

[sajetto]

Thanks, I guess I just always thought neighbors were supposed to smile and wave and be merry. I've never lived in a neighborhood like this so maybe I had a Leave it to Beaver sterotype stuck in my head. I know it could be a lot worse, but a smile wouldn't kill them.

 

[momrek06]

Yes, do not let it get you down at all. Sometimes THEY may feel you and DH are not quite ready for a "knock on the door"!

When DH and I bought our first house, we had no children and we would take walks at night around our subdivision and ultimately strike up conversations with some of the neighbors around us and eventually we got friendly with many of them and then relationships started to bloom.

Maybe once you are settled in this summer you could have a cookout and invite some of the neighbors!

GOOD LUCK, OP! Keep us updated!

 

[FreshTressa]

Maybe you should put up a sign

I have a (distant, a few blocks over) neighbor like that. They are very cold to us. They have a daughter the same age as mine so no idea why.

We just wave and say hi anyway.


Even my backyard tree problem neighbors will wave and say "hi"!

 

[LoriKay]

We have the same problem. We are the oldest people on our cul-de-sac and we are also the only childless people. The rest of the neighbors hang out together in the street every night and every weekend have little parties from which we are totally excluded. We initially tried to wave and chat but since their conversations are all about what preschool to use and such we found we didn't have much to contribute. We don't let it bother us. Don't let them get you down because it's their loss if they don't get to know you!

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I've lived in subdivisions where everyone knows everyone, and I've lived in subdivisions where everyone keeps to themselves.

I now live in the one where everyone keeps to themselves. I've been here three years and I have never spoken to my next door neighbors. I walked over to introduce myself and he barely grunted, and I've never seen his wife.

I think it's so much easier to become involved with your neighbors when you have younger children. One of mine is in college and the other is a junior in highschool. Even though we're still in our late 30's, it seems that if you don't have an elementary school-age child, you're not in the "fold".

 

[NAB]

I know what you mean about neighbours. We have lived here 8 years and still don't know all of them. Some just want to be private I have been told. Our neighbourhood changes fast too, people are always moving so you don't get a chance to know them. I also agree with the other person that by the time someone waves or toots a horn and I register who it is they are gone. Give it time. I am glad we know the people on both sides of us.

 

[FreshTressa]

Yes...doing yardwork is where I have met all of my neighbors. Also, walking around and chatting with the ones that are doing yardwork.

 

[safetymom]

The only time I have talked with my neighbors was the morning after the first hurricane came through the neighborhood.

This is the type of neighborhood where everyone keeps to themselves and I don't have a problem with that.

 

[kidzmom3]

we have a shared driveway, like a long mini road that splits at the top into two seperate areas, but they are right next to each other. You guessed it, we do not speak to , wave anything to these people. They bought the house from good friends that we were very friendly with, but what can you do. We are from MA and sometimes people can be very private.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You could be like me--when I'm walking I wave at everyone driving by and when I'm driving I wave at everyone. I figure that half the people are thinking, "who the hell is she and why is she waving?". At least they can't fault me for not being friendly.

We have a chatty neighborhood. Doesn't mean that everyone gets together for coffee, even though some people do, but people do visit when walking by walking their dogs, playing out with thier kids, when taking a walk, doing yardwork, etc.

I'd just as soon that my next door neighbor would move away and there are some neighbor that I don't know, but most are at least friendly enough to wave.

sajetto, maybe as the warm weather continues and your neighbors get to know you it will get better. It's one thing if they won't want to be buddy-buddy, but I don't know what's so hard about smiling and waving.

 

[XYSRUS]

Oh-Don't let it get to you. I have one crazy neighbor like that next door. We even have boys who are the same age. She never initiates a conversation or a wave. Now, I think it's kind of funny. And when I see her now I make sure she sees me and then I turn the other way. I initially was weirded out but then after talking to other neighbors I found out she that way with them all. Too bad, too, cause we're a fun bunch!!!!!!!!!!

 

[pajamommy]

Screw them! Sorry, that was probably inappropriate! Anyhow, life it too short to worry about it, you have made an effort and that is all that matters!

 

[miss missy]

OK are you waving and they are NOT waving back? Or are you waiting for them to wave?

Well here

 

[minniecarousel]

We have a "keep-to-ourselves" type of neighborhood. I'll wave to most of the neighbors, but directly across the street - I can't keep track of who lives there! I'll say "hi!" if I make eye contact with them. Our next-door neighbors, we wave and talk to when we see them, but not much beyond that.

I agree with the taking a walk after dinner or puttering around in the frontyard on the weekend. You don't have to say much, just compliment something about their yard or something. I'm sure there are still some "Leave it to Beaver" neighborhoods out there, but I've never lived in one!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

With some neighbors you have to properly introduce yourselves up, close and personal first before you start waving from the car.

Some people hate "the wave" esp. if you don't know or talk to them.

We moved here a year ago and have met the neighbors around us. They are OK. I miss my old neighbors. In fact we just went on vacation with my old neighbors from Missouri.
Right now I am not so chummy with my new neighbors. Maybe later....

 

[sajetto]

OK are you waving and they are NOT waving back? Or are you waiting for them to wave?

Well here

I'm waving like an idiot and they are just staring at me like the idiot I'm being.......

 

[sajetto]

Maybe you should put up a sign

I have a (distant, a few blocks over) neighbor like that. They are very cold to us. They have a daughter the same age as mine so no idea why.

We just wave and say hi anyway.


Even my backyard tree problem neighbors will wave and say "hi"!

When I said it could be a lot worse I was thinking of you. I'd much rather them not speak or even acknowlege me than for them to try and bully me over trees




I was in the yard yesterday putting a large metal arbor together as and entrance to our walkway and there was a mom strolling her baby through the neighborhood she at least looked my way, but I didn't bother to wave that time because she is one of the people who has ignored me before.