My neighbor says he is going to sue us..UPDATE pg 8

[Tigger&Belle]

Yes and I thank you for the link.I am waiting for my DH to look at it.

And if that is too expensive maybe you could make something similar. At least the one they sell is very portable and could be put up when the kids are playing there and then put away when they are done.

Good luck!

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

This man could be suffering from some form of dementia, in which case, I'd keep the kids very far away from him because he may not be in his right mind.

Had a 7th grade Social studies teacher that killed and partially ate a teenager that cut through his yard. He had real issues about being respected.

Had grouchy neighbors as a child who might keep our ball or yell at us but they never threatened legal action.

Now that you know how much it bothers your neighbor to have intruders, i would tell the kids absolutely no going into his yard and that you will replace any lost balls rather than have them retrieve them.

Had a Great grandfather in law that heated his garage in winter with an old soldering iron. He wouldn't turn on the A/C but would lie in the bathroom on the tile floor to be cooler.This started after he was 90.

Have a church woman friend in her 60s who has control/ paranoia issues. She couldn't find her sunglasses in her car one day but found them on the dashboard the next day when she returned to her car at the beach. She was convinced her Condo Association head had followed her car to the beach and replaced her sunglasses there to convince her she was losing her mind.

 

[Marseeya]

I've read most of the responses on this thread and it seems that most of those who are calling the man a curmugeon, or crochety, have young children so they are used to the noise. Wait until YOU are old. Maybe YOU won't tolerate it as well as you do now.

I didn't even have a high tolerance for kid noise when mine were little. I'm very lucky they weren't very boisterous when they were young. Neither one of them was prone to tantrums either.

However, my bipolar teenaged DS is really making up for lost time.

 

[Disney Doll]

One of the fortunate or unfortunate "side effects" of a neighborhood is...neighbors!!!!

We ran into a similar issue when we bought our house. Ithad been owned by a couple, no children, who had lived here for 40 years. Then we move in, a young chouple, no children, but we buy a dog. And the dog, on occasiona , barks at dog things. A very well-supervised dog (believe me, I don't like ot listen to him barks incessantly either!!!), but if a squirrel is around or a cat or another dog, he will bark...briefly, but he will.

Diagonally acroos the street lived "Crabby Man & Mrs. Crabby"...an eldely couple who spent their day looking out their window at what was going on at my house, counting the number of times the dog made a peep, calling my house to tell me the dog was barking, calling the dog warden, and so on. I tried my darndest to make sure the dog stayed quiet. If e was outside, the minute he barked I'd call him in, but the phone would already be ringing. He must have driven the dog warden nuts, because the dog warden spent the day sitting in their driveway assessing how much my dog really barked and if it was excessive. It was a "normal" day, I wasn't aware that the dog warden was even there (they had high shrubbery as a "cover"), and at the end of the day, the dog warden told them that the dog didn't bark excessively and was well-supervised so as not to be a nuisance, and if they called again they would get a fine for making a false report. He also told them to remember that they lived in a neighborhood and if they didn't want to hear noise from other people living their daily lives, then they should move somewhere where they were very isolated. DH & I were nice to them, shoveled their snow in the winter etc. We figured they were lonely, cranky old people and couldn't help themselves. We sort of came to a truce, if oyu will. I think they realized that we really did try to keep the dog quiet and not let him disturb, and they were thankful that we helped them out ion the winter and whatever.

Well, he died and she moved to a senior condo, and younger people took their place in theat house, and don't you think it started again!!!!!!!!!!! The new coupel had lived in the house maybe 2 weeks, the dog is outside, he barls for 20 seconds at a squirrel the phone rings and it is the new neighbor telling me the dog is barking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will admit it...I was a...witch. I told her it was 2 o'clock in the afternoon and the dog had barked for 15 seconds at a a squrrel and when the dog was barking incessantly at 2 o'clock in the morning then she could call me, but until then, leave me alone and don't bother me.

I was patient with the older folks because they were old. This couple was close in age to me, and I was nipping that in the bud.

I don't know what to tell oyu about your neighbor. Sueing because of noise...well, there would have to be an awful lot of noise. There'd have to be police documnetation of being called to your house numeorus times for noise vioaltions etc. I wouldn't be too concerned about that.

Trespassing is another issue, and if your kids can't keep the ball in their own yard, I'd suggest they find another place to play ball. They don't have a right to go on his property, so he has a point there. Would I make an issue of it?? No. I have kids next door to me, I have no kids myself. When I find a ball or a Frisbee in my yard, I toss back into theirs. I also don't really care if they come into my yard to retrieve a ball.

People who get annoyed at things like this tend to have very "small" lives without a lot of other things to distract their attention. Therefore these insignificant, mundane little things become HUGE in their eyes. Sad really...

Too bad I don't live next door to you.

 

[Papa Deuce]

I don't think he'd win a lawsuit to make *you* put up a fence.

IF the children are playing during daylight hours and not violating any noise ordinances...and they aren't playing in his yard--just removing what ends up there, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

If he is awake taking pictures--I don't see how they are interfering with his sleep.

Unless the children are causing actual damage to his property---he's got nothing on you.

Just have the children make a valiant effort to keep the ball out of his yard.

I agree.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

However, my bipolar teenaged DS is really making up for lost time.

I'm sure that you didn't mean this to be funny, but I had to laugh, anyway. Sorry about your DS! I thought that I was a pretty patient person, but I think my youngest son's (almost 6yo) goal is to send me to an early grave. Does he think the life insurance is good?

 

[aprilgail2]

I would put up a fence and tell them to play on the other side of the yard. We used to havea neighbor who would run out and take any balls that went on his property and keep them...turned that way all opf a sudden...in his caese it turned out to be a brain tumor.
I have a daughter and I still get annoyed when the kid behind me keeps hitting the balls over our fence. It got to the point where I told him not to come over and knock because I am not goign to keep goign to get them...I will go out every evening and throw anything back over the fence that is theirs. They would knock during the day and I would either be giving the kid a bath, napping myself, cooking etc and I just don't want to be bothered with it all day long. They can't just come over and get it either since we have a dog and that dog would bite them for sure if they came into our yard. If my daughter threw a frisbee etc over the fence I would wait until they were outside one day and ask them to toss it back...I wouldn't bother them by knocking or going onto their property.

 

[disykat]

I seriously don't think you would dare put up a fence. We put up a fence inside our property line and we weedwack once or twice a year on the other side of it To do so we have to stand on the neighbor's property. If we didn't do it, it would leave the neighbors with either un unsightly mess or having to do it themselves. We feel since we put it up, we need to maintain it on both sides. It is very hard to put a fence exactly on the line. If you don't have an agreement with the neighbors he might leave a few inches unmaintained and expect you to do it without stepping on his property.

 

[dismom9761]

I met his wife and she was very nice.I asked if we could arrange a meeting with them to discuss the issues.To make a long conversation short he brought a friend (we met at the proprty line-he would not enter our yard and didn't want us on his)and the friend really helped us.The bottom line is if the children NEVER step onto his property he will hold off on the lawsuit.Also he apologized to me for the way he spoke to me.Oh and we properly introduced him to our older children and they were not the ones that were rude to him.It turns out that he spoke with a child in my yard and asked him to come get me one day and the child said no.That did not make him happy at all.I'm not sure who it was.We will still put up a fence as soon as possible.I just have to watch my BIL.He wants to paint it pink with purple polka dots on his side.

 

[jellymanoffspring]

I met his wife and she was very nice.I asked if we could arrange a meeting with them to discuss the issues.To make a long conversation short he brought a friend (we met at the proprty line-he would not enter our yard and didn't want us on his)and the friend really helped us.The bottom line is if the children NEVER step onto his property he will hold off on the lawsuit..

and this was with his friend being helpful???

I do have to agree that with 3 acres you should be able to keep the kids away from his property line...except when you go to the car....

put a patio for basketball etc far from his property line...your kids are all still young and you will get lots of use out of it!!

(I am so lucky we have a lot of great neighbors who never complain when all of the kids in our neighborhood play in the street(we live on a dead end cul-de -sac).......its fantastic!

 

[grlpwrd]

I met his wife and she was very nice.I asked if we could arrange a meeting with them to discuss the issues.To make a long conversation short he brought a friend (we met at the proprty line-he would not enter our yard and didn't want us on his)and the friend really helped us.The bottom line is if the children NEVER step onto his property he will hold off on the lawsuit.Also he apologized to me for the way he spoke to me.Oh and we properly introduced him to our older children and they were not the ones that were rude to him.It turns out that he spoke with a child in my yard and asked him to come get me one day and the child said no.That did not make him happy at all.I'm not sure who it was.We will still put up a fence as soon as possible.I just have to watch my BIL.He wants to paint it pink with purple polka dots on his side.

Wait a minute meet as in just-meet or meet as in get together... in post #34 didn't you state The wife is my son's Sunday School teacher! I thought it's customary to meet your child's Sunday School teacher. Plus, if they are Christian seems very unChristian like to me to act that way.

I love kids, but I think he has a right to his property and you should make concessions accordingly. If you can't afford a fence at least place some type of barrier, like trees. Besides your baby your kids are at that age - 10, 8, and 6, right? - they should respect their elders and their property. They are old enough to listen and follow the rules. (I have a 14yo, 10yo, 7yo, 2.5yo, and 3mo.)

BTW I had problem neighbors and called the cops on the wife for harassing me. Now that we have a new lawn and landscaping, soon to have a sprinkler system, and new fence they suddenly are acting like our new best friends. They gave permission for our kids to wander thru their property. I still don't allow my kids do that, though. They are retired, golf avidly, and had nothing else better to do than breath down my neck while we were getting work done. I am just glad it's more peaceful now.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Put up a fence....

Sure, the neighbor is the one who is being bothered... and if he wants a fence then HE should put one up.

HOWEVER, this is your KIDS.... I would NOT want my kids to have to be concerned, bothered, photographed, harassed, worried about every wayward ball. etc...

Basicly, this guy sounds a little 'off'. Who knows what might happen.

Sometimes, even if the other guy is wrong, the thing to do is to look after your own best interest. For your own kids, and your own piece of mind... go ahead and put up a fence.

Arguing over 'principal' here will only make things worse.

Unfortunately, it IS his property. If he does not want your children, your toys, your dog, or whatever, then legally, he is entitled to that.

Like the one poster said,

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

PS: The whole 'Sunday School Teacher' thing really concerns me too!!!!

 

[dismom9761]

She just recently became my son's Sunday school teacher-maybe three weeks ago.Yes I should have met her before Sunday but I hadn't.He walks from church to his class with a group of friends .She wishes he would just relax but he won't.I think he is just getting less tolerant as he gets older from what I understand.My kids DO NOT go on his property so I don't forsee any more problems.They DO respect their elders and their property.When they went onto his property to get their ball they did not know that he didn't want them to.Now they know and stay away as if it is haunted.

 

[jellymanoffspring]

.Now they know and stay away as if it is haunted.

Situations like this are probably the seeds for many a haunted old house story....

 

[Wishing on a star]

The bottom line is you have your childs Sunday School Teacher (as the owner of the property) threatening to sue you.


Also, the current situation STILL leaves your kids (and you) on pins and needles. I would go ahead and put up some kind of fence.


An example of a dog owner is a good one... The neighbor should not have to be the one to have to put up a fence to keep the neighborhood dogs (and what they leave behind) off their property.

 

[mtblujeans]

Wait a minute meet as in just-meet or meet as in get together... in post #34 didn't you state The wife is my son's Sunday School teacher! I thought it's customary to meet your child's Sunday School teacher. Plus, if they are Christian seems very unChristian like to me to act that way.....

I find this type of action or reaction to be a perfect example of a "Christian", in my experience! I avoid people who label themselves as "Christians".

 

[mickeysgal]

Ok...lets assume you put up a fence. Will he approve of the style? Height? Will he like how you stain, paint, or leave it in it's natural state? Will he want you to maintain it on both sides as often as he wants it maintained? Is a fence going to stop any children noises that float from his yard to his? Sounds to me like he is a person that loves to have something to complain about. There is something "off" with this guy. Now you want to go through the expense of putting up a fence to give him something else to complain about? If he doesn't like the situation, let him put up the fence and suggest that he attend his wife's Sunday school class to learn about Christian tolerance and judgment. Good grief!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Complaining about color/style/upkeep is one thing...
Who cares!!!!

Being THREATENING regarding children is another.

I would care LESS what he thought of the fence!!!
Once it is up, The OP would never have to see him anyhow.
If she is not seeing him, then she is not dealing with his complaints.
If he wanted to come over to complain, she should simply call the authorities, as HE is the one trespassing. She should tell him to feel free to file a lawsuit. No way would that ever fly. (given that the fence is within code)

What I would care about is my piece of mind, and my childrens comfort and protection.

This guy is 'off', and it sounds like his wife knows it...

 

[mickeysgal]

I don't think this has been suggested yet, but as an extra precaution, please don't have any one of your children playing outside alone. Safety in numbers. It sounds like he has some "issues" and its better to be safe than sorry. You really don't know whats going on with him and certainly his wife isn't going to fill you in. This really sounds like some "thing" with him thats beyond just a ball occasionally rolling onto his grass.

Friends of ours once had neighbors that complained when my friends were cutting their grass, that they were stepping on their grass to turn the lawnmower. It was getting footprints in their grass and they didn't like how it looked - it "bent" their grass, yet they wanted our friend's grass mowed up to their lawn's edge.

Sometimes there is no pleasing these kind of people and unfortunately, this is what your situation looks like.