My neighbor just ruined the magic...

[dragonfly08]

I'm sure both of my girls thought the characters were real when they were little. By age 5 or so (which was when we took DD #1s first visit that she remembers, and #2s first visit ever) they knew they weren't. Didn't stop them from wanting pictures and autographs.

I actually turn this issue around on my kids. If they as "Is Mickey/Santa/the Tooth Fairy/etc. real?" I respond with "You know, that's a great question...what do you think?". We go from there and talk about how everyone is allowed to have their own beliefs, and if you think something is real in your heart, then it is real for you and what anyone else thinks doesn't matter. It's worked since they were 3 or 4 years old (they're 7 and 10 now).

 

[ktlm]

We had that issue when DD was I think 4. A boy in her class told her. My response when she asked was simply, "well I don't know, what do you think?". After which she came to her own conclusion that if she saw them at WDW, they must be real. I'm not sure that she really believes they are real, but she has "selective reality". I've found that response has worked on a few things, because it lets her come to her own decision or belief, and I'm not spoiling anything for her.

 

[jenniferce]

I use the "what do you think?" angle as well, but I've also used a different approach. When my oldest dd told me that recently, I told her, "Remember, Daddy thinks they're real and we don't want to disappoint him." Now she feels like a big girl who's in on the secret, but she also has just enough doubt- after all, if Daddy believes it, maybe it is real?!

 

[1000HappyWishes]

I really don't see how this is some big travesty. A child will find out on their own eventually (however, my 12 year old brother still believes in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, and my parents refuse to tell him they aren't real...so...) but the magic is still there whether a child knows or not.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

I'm sorry but I just don't get these types of posts most of the time. Is there a forum that you go on when your kid finds out santa isn't real? What did people do before there was a message board like this?

Apparently there are forums about The Santa question:

http://forums.about.com/ab-atheism/messages?lgnF=y&msg=30906.1

 

[Hayliesmom]

My daughter believes in a combination of both. When she grows up she wants to work at Disney World and be Snow White. But she believes once you work there, you "become" that princess.

 

[CalSea12]

I like the helpers idea! I also think saying they are Princesses wouldnt be technically lying, if asked about one of the costume characters then it would be.

I also don't feel keeping the magic there for your child is a bad thing, so I would prob say they were real until she really started to not believe.

 

[SEA333]

Wait! We have to pretend that ginormous walking animals are real??!! And semi-weird looking "princesses" that are obviously wearing wigs? LOL

I must have missed that memo....I don't think that my kids ever thought any of the Disney characters were real.

Apparently, my kids made it easy on me. I never had to be in your quandry. Oh my.

 

[jtowntoflorida]

One of my six year old daughter's friend told her that the princesses were not real. She asked me about it, and I told her that I thought it was really sad that her friend didn't believe in magic. She said, "I believe in magic, Mommy, and I believe the princesses are real." I think she has it figured out, but I think she realizes that it's more fun to believe in magic.

 

[aidansmom]

I'm sorry but I just don't get these types of posts most of the time. Is there a forum that you go on when your kid finds out santa isn't real? What did people do before there was a message board like this?

I'm sure people figured out where to eat before there were boards to discuss dining as well. OP was looking for advice and opinions, kind of the whole point of a forum such as this, no?

To OP, I will never understand why people take it upon themselves to make such statements to other people's children. I think it is SO wrong, and would probably consider speaking to your neighbor about it. Really sorry this happened to you.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm sure people figured out where to eat before there were boards to discuss dining as well. OP was looking for advice and opinions, kind of the whole point of a forum such as this, no?

To OP, I will never understand why people take it upon themselves to make such statements to other people's children. I think it is SO wrong, and would probably consider speaking to your neighbor about it. Really sorry this happened to you.

It was the OP's 8 year old neighbor that said something to the OP's dd. There is nothing wrong with what they did, those characters are not real and its not like its really a secret
If a parent wants their child to believe they are, that is on them, you can't expect anyone else to keep that going for you. That would be WRONG. If someone came to speak to me about their child being told by mine, I'd probably laugh and tell them that I can't believe they are actually serious.

 

[aidansmom]

It was the OP's 8 year old neighbor that said something to the OP's dd. There is nothing wrong with what they did, those characters are not real and its not like its really a secret
If a parent wants their child to believe they are, that is on them, you can't expect anyone else to keep that going for you. That would be WRONG. If someone came to speak to me about their child being told by mine, I'd probably laugh and tell them that I can't believe they are actually serious.

I just reread the original post - I missed the part about it being an 8 year old. I agree with you - I was thinking it was an adult neighbor. Still think kids who do that kind of thing are brats, though.

 

[luvmy3]

I just reread the original post - I missed the part about it being an 8 year old. I agree with you - I was thinking it was an adult neighbor. Still think kids who do that kind of thing are brats, though.

I think that would depend on how or why they said it. My kids never believed, if they were just talking to someone about it, saying they weren't real wouldn't be done out of malice. They wouldn't know there is some secret about Disney characters that they should keep.

 

[luvmy2babies]

My daughter was 7 by the time she went the first time. I’m not sure what she thought overall we were all so caught up in being there, but I’m sure she knew the ones like Mickey, Donald, Goofy, etc. were costumes. We regular attend sporting events at my alma mater where she has posed for pictures with the mascot. We’d been doing that since she was 3.

But the face characters were different. The way she gets star struck, especially with the princesses (Tiana and Ariel in particular), I wasn't sure what she thought of them. They are not like Santa where you can just see them anywhere at a certain time of year. You don't see one, got 2 feet and see another. Disney tries pretty hard to avoid that probably for that very reason. If she didn’t know, I think she figured it out sometime between that trip and the next. I remember we came back for a day when she was 8 and she saw Tiana again. Dd mentioned after that Tiana didn’t remember her from the previous year. I just reminded her of the amount of little girls she has probably met during that time. Then she said, “Maybe it was a different lady this time.” I just said, “Maybe.”

So she knows the whole deal, but it doesn’t matter. We went again when she was 9 and 10 and when she’s there, they are the real deal and she has fun meeting them even now at 10 when it isn’t exactly the coolest thing to still like princesses. And her brother is just 3. He loves the characters and I have let her know he should be allowed to find out in his own way like she did. And I’ve told her the same about other children, that she is not to be the 8 year-old in your story. It's simply because you don't ever know who you are dealing with so I have told dd that people will deal with characters in their own families whether it be Mickey, Cinderella, Santa, the Easter Bunny…whoever. We have never done "Santa" in our home even though I believed in him as a child. But I have taught her about St. Nicholas. I've told her plainly, "some other child may tell them, but don't let it be you." Truth or not, I have seen some serious confrontations over this very thing. I don't need the drama.

 

[LockShockBarrel]

I'm sure people figured out where to eat before there were boards to discuss dining as well. OP was looking for advice and opinions, kind of the whole point of a forum such as this, no?

To OP, I will never understand why people take it upon themselves to make such statements to other people's children. I think it is SO wrong, and would probably consider speaking to your neighbor about it. Really sorry this happened to you.

Yes but its logical to ask about restaurants that other people have been to and people have done that for years and years in person. My point is that the situation the OP is going through is simple and doesn't need to be discussed on a board as it should be something they can figure out on their own based on their own child. It's probably a far bigger deal to OP than to the kid.

 

[DLgal]

I think that would depend on how or why they said it. My kids never believed, if they were just talking to someone about it, saying they weren't real wouldn't be done out of malice. They wouldn't know there is some secret about Disney characters that they should keep.

I agree. My kids are the same way. Their minds are too logical to comprehend "make believe" and they would never equate a cartoon to a real person. My younger one likes the non speaking characters because they are just basically huge stuffed animals and he loves to cuddle. My older son, though, looked at me like I was crazy when I showed him Mickey mouse in the parks for the first time. I said "Look, there's Mickey!" His response, at TWO, was "No, it's a man", followed by a fairly obvious "duh, mom" expression. I almost expected him to roll his eyes. He has never cared for the characters. He opts out of any photos we take with them. Some kids just don't subscribe to make believe, but it doesn't make them brats.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I agree. My kids are the same way. Their minds are too logical to comprehend "make believe" and they would never equate a cartoon to a real person. My younger one likes the non speaking characters because they are just basically huge stuffed animals and he loves to cuddle. My older son, though, looked at me like I was crazy when I showed him Mickey mouse in the parks for the first time. I said "Look, there's Mickey!" His response, at TWO, was "No, it's a man", followed by a fairly obvious "duh, mom" expression. I almost expected him to roll his eyes. He has never cared for the characters. He opts out of any photos we take with them. Some kids just don't subscribe to make believe, but it doesn't make them brats.

Agree. Our boys have loved WDW since they were little and still do today at 6 and 21.We go often and have magical trips every time. Neither has ever believed the characters were real.ever.We always say, hey, there's Mickey and have tons of pictures with him and do lots of character meals, but they knew from the beginning. They would say things like, " wow, I bet the guy in there is hot!" even at like 2. Now I tried to prevent other kids from hearing, but really never though that kids beyond preschool really believed they were real.

BTW- There is a good post on Santa over on the community board if anyone is interested

 

[Gracefulskinny]

We explained it the same way we explained mall Santas... one of them is real and you never know if you're going to see the real one or not. Sometimes the princesses get tired and need to take a break, so they have helpers.

I strongly second this explanation.


And hey it could be worse. Instead of just gotten back the 8 year old could have dropped that bomb right before you went.

 

[Gracefulskinny]

We explained it the same way we explained mall Santas... one of them is real and you never know if you're going to see the real one or not. Sometimes the princesses get tired and need to take a break, so they have helpers.

I strongly second this explanation.


And hey it could be worse. Instead of just gotten back the 8 year old could have dropped that bomb right before you went.

 

[Hisgirl]

Awww...bless her heart! So sorry this happened but I guess it's expected.

My DD is now 24, but if it were me, this is how I would handle it.

"Mommy, Lizzie said the princesses aren't real and it's just people dressed up. Is she right?"

"Honey, you were there. What did you think?"

Let her answer.

Then I would say, "You know how the Little Mermaid is all colorful like a cartoon, and Beauty and the Beast is also the same way? Since those stories are drawn so the stories can be told in a way you can watch them happen and the stories are brought to life for you, the princesses you see at Disney are so you can meet the characters and you can talk them in person. Cartoons can't come off the page and talk, but real people can and you met the girl who brings the story to life so you can talk to her. Want a cookie?"