My mother is dying of lung cancer

[helenk]

It seems so strange to write this, I guess I just needed to see it in print. My mother 76 years old is slowly dwindling away to nothing. She has stage 3B of non small cell lung cancer. She was just offically diagnosed this past February but she and we did too knew that something was wrong for sometime.
In January she was at my son's wedding, feeling tired and did not have much of an appetite, but weighed about 112 (her normal weight) and today she is down to about 90 or so pounds. There are times when she is "with it" and then other times she says things that just do not make sense.
She will not be with us for long I am sure, and as we get closer to Mother's day I just feel so lost, and I know it will be our last Mother's Day with her.
My brother's family and I were going to WDW on the 18th and even though my mother tells us not to cancel our trip of course we will not go. I know that sounds strange but I just can not bring myself to erase the ticker, I feel like I would be bring her bad luck...

 

[WDWLVR]

to you! 10 years ago we were planning a trip to WDW with my Mom. She wasn't feeling well and went to the doctor. Turns out it was stage 4 lung cancer. Needless to say we cancelled that trip as she was in the hospital for radiation during the time we would have gone. We lost her in October of that year.

There isn't a day goes by that I don't miss her but I take comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain like she was at the end.

Enjoy your time with her now. Have her tell stories. Go over old pictures of the family with her. Make memories that will last a lifetime!

 

[bopper]

I don't want to be a downer, but my Dad had lung cancer and did not survive more than a year past his diagnosis. All I have to say is make sure you and your family get some good memories with your Mom if possible. For Father's day we took my dad fishing with my brothers and the kids. It was not too strenous for him and it reminded us when we used to go fishing with him when we were kids and it gave my kids some new memories. We cherished every holiday knowing it was probably the last, and for the last Thanksgiving since my dad usually cooked I made sure to get all his recipes (or write down the one's he just did from memory) and took lots of pictures.

 

[Teacher03]

I sending you lots of . I know how hard it is to see your mom go through cancer. My mom died in December of pancreatic cancer, and it was so tough. Just be with her as much as you can.

 

[rlduvall]

I know your pain . . . firsthand. My 64 year old mother was diagnosed with advanced small cell lung cancer on February 24th, 2006. The doctors (who I have found unbelievably uncompassionate ) gave her the standard statistic of 8-10 months to live; yet she is still with us 15 months later doing good - Wednesday was her latest chemo treatment.

I never thought I would even spend another Mother's Day with her after 2006! I thank God for every extra day he is giving us with her. I never knew this type of sadness and anxiety. Some days it just buries me and other days I handle it fine. What adds to my confusion is my mother is doing exceptional while on chemo - just a little tired and she hasn't had hair in forever. BUT, the doctors tell us she could go at any moment - her heart may just stop. What do they know - we have a higher power.

This is for you. Hang in there. It almost helps to know there are others going through the same pain.

 

[mommasita]

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Hugs to all here!!!!! I would just go for the moment with her, spend as much time as you can and remember it all. I wish I had known that my Mom was going when she did, one day she was there and next day gone. I would have treasured the days if I had only known.. You have been given a gift of knowing.. as hard it will be, you will have those cherished memories..

If you need to talk, we are here to give you a hug or just a few consoling words....please come to this board and do keep us informed on how she is doing.

 

[djblu883]

I lost my Mom to lung cancer 7 years ago. I made the best of the time we had left by caring for her myself. We had breakfast lunch and dinner outside on our front porch so she could enjoy the fresh air and sunshine and watch her dog play and her friends come by. We had time to talk about the good and the bad things we had shared in life and to say goodbye. She knew what was happeneing to her up until 5 days before she passed...all I can say is...try to make each day count...ask questions about family she knows that you might not, share feelings...its helps when she has gone to know you did all you could to help her passing be a blessing and give you closure!

It seems so strange to write this, I guess I just needed to see it in print. My mother 76 years old is slowly dwindling away to nothing. She has stage 3B of non small cell lung cancer. She was just offically diagnosed this past February but she and we did too knew that something was wrong for sometime.
In January she was at my son's wedding, feeling tired and did not have much of an appetite, but weighed about 112 (her normal weight) and today she is down to about 90 or so pounds. There are times when she is "with it" and then other times she says things that just do not make sense.
She will not be with us for long I am sure, and as we get closer to Mother's day I just feel so lost, and I know it will be our last Mother's Day with her.
My brother's family and I were going to WDW on the 18th and even though my mother tells us not to cancel our trip of course we will not go. I know that sounds strange but I just can not bring myself to erase the ticker, I feel like I would be bring her bad luck...

 

[helenk]

Thank you for all your kind thoughts. Everything is so overwhelming sometimes. the biggest problem lately has been her bouts of pneumonia. They have given her the vaccine, so hopefully that will help. I will be keeping my fingers crossed.

 

[djblu883]

frequently in people who are very ill they get pneumonia because they are so weak they cannot swallow properly, which causes the food to go in the lungs instead of into the stomach... You might ask the doctor if she needs a swallow study done...

Thank you for all your kind thoughts. Everything is so overwhelming sometimes. the biggest problem lately has been her bouts of pneumonia. They have given her the vaccine, so hopefully that will help. I will be keeping my fingers crossed.

 

[safetymom]

helenk, I will keep you all in my prayers.

 

[minkydog]

I lost my dad to lung cancer almost 3yrs ago. The one good thing about it was that my dad & I had the time to say our piece . We had been estranged for 30 yrs, by his design. At the end, when he was too sick to shoo me away I re-entered the picture and cared for him to the end. I was happy to do it. He's my dad and even though he was too weak to leave his hospital room, he was able to tell me about his life and ask questions about mine. We were able to ask and offer forgiveness to one another. We spent 4 weeks together and it was the most powerful 4wks of my life.

I hope that you can make the most of the time your mother has left. There is no time for regrets now, only love.

 

[daisy2]

Loosing someone to lung cancer is a very hard to deal with. I lost my uncle to lung cancer on May 18th, 2006. My last conversation with him was on Mothers day of last year. We were laughing and telling jokes. I live in California and he lived in Oregon. I wasn't able to be there for him only on the phone but I talked to him everyday when he was in the hospital to see how he was doing. I will cherish our mothers day talk because the next day my uncle Neil took a turn for the worse. He was sent to a convolencent care home and he died on the 18th. My brother went to see him and I told my brother to please telll my uncle Neil that I loved him and it was okay for him to go and be in peace he passed that afternoon. He was only 50 years old. I am sorry I am blubbering on . I miss him dearly. God Bless you all and I pray for you all who are going through this.

 

[TomB'sWidow]

I am sorry for your family's struggle. I lost my Dh 43 to lung cancer in 02. He was gone in 8months the shock of the diagnose's and insuing treatment( Dr's had us believeing we could beat it, wish they were more honest) were very difficult we waste dalot of time running from test to treatment and back, I wish we had slowed down and just enjoyed the rest of the time. My prayers and love to your family.

 

[kimis]

My prayers are with you all. My mother was diagnosed in the end of June of 2006 with small cell lung cancer. It is an aggresive fast cancer and she passed away on Friday the 13th of October. I would recommend spend all the time with you that you can. We used Hospice of the Valley and they were the most awesome, caring people. I will be praying for you.

 

[JunieJay]

I'm so sorry. I lost my Mom very suddenly 10 years ago - she died in her sleep. While terribly traumatic, it was nowhere near the grief I felt after I watched my father die of lung cancer over the course of 18 months. I really don't think you can imagine anything worse than that unless you have seen a close loved one go through it. Its a terrible way to die.

I'll be keeping your Mom in my prayers, that her suffering is brief and the doctors are able to keep her from pain. And you of course, I've been where you are and I know how helpless you feel. Anytime I can lend a shoulder, you just let me know. I'm only a PM away. Sometimes its good to be able to bounce stuff off strangers who have had similar experiences.

 

[Deesknee]

 

[asa'smom]

 

[Philagoofy]

I'm so sorry about your mom. I can't imagine how terrible this must be for her and you and everyone who loves her. My heart goes out to you. I have no words