My Mother-in-Law Horror Stories...Just in time for Halloween, too!

[Wishing on a star]

Yes my mother is still alive. And she's a very good mother to me. MIL just wants to step in and take over, for whatever reason.

She has CONTROL ISSUES!!!! The faster you understand this, and you and your DH learn to handle it, the better.

We're going out to eat with his parents and my parents tomorrow night. Wish me luck that I don't end up choking myself with a napkin!

Ummmm, you have arranged to have dinner with his parents and your parents, together... You are enabling anything that your MIL happens to do or say. If you end up wanting to choke yourself, remember, it is your own doing.

.....

 

[Camicar]

OMG, Camicar, you take the prize!!!!

Finally, I win something! What I need to win is a very large bottle of alcohol to help me get thru any visit. Seriously, I hardly ever drink, but when I have be around them, keep filling my glass.

 

[connorlevismom]

Let me just put this out there - my MIL is crazy. Seriously, I have no idea what world this woman lives in, but ut us not this one. I have a million stories I could tell about her. The fact that she dislikes me because I married her son and I truly believe that she wanted to marry him herself (yes, she is one of THOSE mothers). Anyway, the last time we saw them (THANK GOD they live in a different state) she asked me if my son was going to be left handed. I told her I thought so and she said "well, just do the best you can with it". What the hell? Um, did I miss somewhere that being left handed means your handicapped? And the kicker of it all, she knows that I AM LEFT HANDED. Freak.

Kristine

 

[TrueEeyore]

I am going to continue to see my MIL, because it's my husbands mother. I can't refuse to be around her. She just does things to annoy me, and I just needed to vent about it. Doesn't everybody? She's definitely not the devil, and I know it could be worse.

Did I mention she puts her tampon up her nose when she goes to the bathroom? She wants everyone to know she's on her period.

And connorlevismom, I know exactly what you mean! It seems like she wants to be married to her son. I didn't want to say it before, I didn't know how it would sound. But that's exactly the way it seems. So crazy.

 

[TrueEeyore]

Oh, and my DH is lefthanded! Just sayin..

 

[Maleficent13]

Did I mention she puts her tampon up her nose when she goes to the bathroom? She wants everyone to know she's on her period.

I'm sorry; I need clarification. Last I checked, my nose had nothing to do with my period.

 

[connorlevismom]

I am going to continue to see my MIL, because it's my husbands mother. I can't refuse to be around her. She just does things to annoy me, and I just needed to vent about it. Doesn't everybody? She's definitely not the devil, and I know it could be worse.

Did I mention she puts her tampon up her nose when she goes to the bathroom? She wants everyone to know she's on her period.

And connorlevismom, I know exactly what you mean! It seems like she wants to be married to her son. I didn't want to say it before, I didn't know how it would sound. But that's exactly the way it seems. So crazy.

WTH, why would she do that?

I am so glad that someone else knows what it is like to have a MIL that has some not so normal feelings for their son. Does your MIL sit on the couch next to him and rub his legs and run her fingers through his hair??? It bothered me so much that this summer I finally said something when we out of town for a family wedding. I asked him to just be aware of his mothers behavior and he totally agreed with me. It freaks him out!


Kristine

 

[connorlevismom]

I'm sorry; I need clarification. Last I checked, my nose had nothing to do with my period.

Man, where is that shoot water out of your nose smiley when you need it?

Kristine

 

[mickeyboat]

I'm sorry; I need clarification. Last I checked, my nose had nothing to do with my period.

I thought about this for a long time. I finally had to let it go. Maybe she puts it under her nose between her nose and upper lip when she goes into the bathroom.

Next time you see this, tell her "have a happy period."

 

[cybrkitn]

I'm sorry; I need clarification. Last I checked, my nose had nothing to do with my period.

Man, where is that shoot water out of your nose smiley when you need it?

Kristine

Good thing I didn't have my drink in my mouth when I read it or it would have been all over my keyboard and monitor at work!

OP, I agree with so many on here that your DH needs to speak to his mother as well as the boundries that MUST be set. The foot has to be put down or she will continue to manipulate both of you the rest of your lives. You don't want her to put a wedge between you and your DH that would cause your marriage to suffer.

I understand that it is hard for a mother to cut the apron strings from her child, especially an only child. It's sometimes hard for an adult child to do the same when there is a close bond with the parent (I'm talking about myself here as I have a close relationship with my mom). But when a son marries, he is now one with his wife. Your MIL did her job raising him, now she needs to let go and let you two live your own lives without her interferring. She needs to be put in her place and that is what your DH needs to do.

DH can tell you about the Battle Royales that I have had with his parents over our 20 years together (that's including our dating years and our first few years of marriage). Mostly it's b/c of a generation gap. MIL had DH when she was 40 and DH's two older brothers were all ready moved out and on their own.

Hang in there

 

[OceanAnnie]

I thought about this for a long time. I finally had to let it go. Maybe she puts it under her nose between her nose and upper lip when she goes into the bathroom.

Next time you see this, tell her "have a happy period."

 

[Wishing on a star]

Hey, connerlevismom, does your DH happen to be an only son? These kinds of issues with mothers and their 'only son's is more common than one might think. If I remember correctly, I actually read once where this was a recognized issue, and there is a name for it!!!

My DH is an only son, and while there have not been the issues that you have described, his parents were WAY over-involved and overly vested in their son. We had to draw some boundraries, big time. And, even with that, my DH has still been way more involved with his parents than most other men.

OP: I don't think that anyone is saying to cut off ties and not see your MIL. Of course you will continue to see her! HOWEVER, what we are trying to say is that if you do not take heed, and create some boundaries (with your DH at the forefront) and learn to stop enabling her behaviours, it COULD very quicky become a huge issue, to the point where irreparable damage is done to your relationship. As long is your husband is in your corner, and is seeking some more normal and acceptable boundaries with his mom, then all is good!!!!

If not, you will find out that you do not have an inlaw problem, you have a marriage problem. Surely this is not the case!

 

[Wishing on a star]

OP, I agree with so many on here that your DH needs to speak to his mother as well as the boundries that MUST be set. The foot has to be put down or she will continue to manipulate both of you the rest of your lives. You don't want her to put a wedge between you and your DH that would cause your marriage to suffer.

Hang in there

Excellent post!

However, I see no need to have any big 'discussion' that will be more apt to cause a lot of emotional distress, and cause more harm than good.

Remember, your boundaries are not open to negotiation or discussion!!!

You and your husband should simply refuse to enable his mother by giving her the open invitation and opportuntity to be as invasive as you KNOW that she will be. It sounds like she is the kind of person who will wheedle, and cry, and whine. But, in the end, she will get used to the new status quo, and she will get over it. IF you handle it right, and do not let this continue for any longer.

Give her keys, she will invade your home.
Give her one inch of involvement in your wedding, she will take over.
Give her your cake, she will use that opportunity as well.
Ask her to dinner with your parents, look out for her to take this opportunity to make any invasive and inappropriate comments that will serve her interests.

You must realize that you are giving her CarteBlanche to do what she is doing.

You should be asking your husband, and yourself, WHY?????

 

[connorlevismom]

Hey, connerlevismom, does your DH happen to be an only son? These kinds of issues with mothers and their 'only son's is more common than one might think. If I remember correctly, I actually read once where this was a recognized issue, and there is a name for it!!!

My DH is an only son, and while there have not been the issues that you have described, his parents were WAY over-involved and overly vested in their son. We had to draw some boundraries, big time. And, even with that, my DH has still been way more involved with his parents than most other men.

OP: I don't think that anyone is saying to cut off ties and not see your MIL. Of course you will continue to see her! HOWEVER, what we are trying to say is that if you do not take heed, and create some boundaries (with your DH at the forefront) and learn to stop enabling her behaviours, it COULD very quicky become a huge issue, to the point where irreparable damage is done to your relationship. As long is your husband is in your corner, and is seeking some more normal and acceptable boundaries with his mom, then all is good!!!!

If not, you will find out that you do not have an inlaw problem, you have a marriage problem. Surely this is not the case!

No, that is the strange part. He is the middle of three kids. And no, she does not act like she does with my DH with her other sons. I made sure to observe that before I mentioned anything to DH.

Kristine

 

[Hidden_Mickey]

Yikes! This lady needs a job or a hobby or a friend. Why doesn't she get a job at Kirkland's? When she says stuff, you have to have a good comeback. Not something unkind, just something that will give her something to think about. Like seriously, if you want the discount, why don't you get a job there? I'm sure she will have a good reason and that can be yours too. I don't think you need to have a "talk", just set boundaries as she tries to cross them and be firm.

 

[TrueEeyore]

Y'all are cracking me up with the tampon comments! I should have clarified better. She uses the O.B. ones (WITHOUT THE APPLICATOR...does ANYONE still use those?? ) and she'll get in out of her purse and put it in her nose and say something like, "Ok, I'm going to the bathroom."
And if she has to go to the bathroom in a restuarant, she'll say, "It'll be awhile. It's that time." I keep those sort of things to myself, as do many women.

connorlevismom, that is scary!
It's not that far (yet? ), but she did want DH to walk her to her seat at our wedding. She didn't want the usher to do it, she said she wanted my DH to do it...Since when does the groom do that? I said no, he should be waiting in the back and come out with the preacher right before me, like it's SUPPOSED to be.

I know alot of the things I am saying are nit-picky, and I apologize. But having it built up for so long, they just keep on flowing!
I'm telling DH to get the ring papers tonight. I'll let you know how that goes.

BTW, the diamond that was given to DH is very old and a rare cut, supposedly. And I have to get it checked every six months and I guess they need the appraisal papers or whatever. I just know I brought it to Zales before and they wouldn't do it without them.

 

[Maleficent13]

Even with the clarification I'm still trying to visualize a grown woman stuffing a tampon up her nose to carry it.

Hopefully she doesn't try to insert it with her nose as well.

 

[TrueEeyore]

Even with the clarification I'm still trying to visualize a grown woman stuffing a tampon up her nose to carry it.

Hopefully she doesn't try to insert it with her nose as well.

I would hope not. She hasn't gone as far as to invite people in to watch, but you never know

I like that picture in your signature!

 

[nut4disney]

Just a quick note to the younger women around Dis who think that:

"It's not fair to have my mother in the delivery room for the baby's birth IF I don't invite his mother too!".

With all due respect, it's totally fair for a woman to request her own mother if that's who she wants, while excluding others. Heck, if Godzilla is what calms you during labor, invite him too.

Labor and delivery is very intimate. It's about YOU, your health, and YOUR well-being. Have your DH if you want. Or not. But understand that you are under no obligation to invite MIL (or anyone else) to view your private body areas.

If your husband hassles you about it, just remind him that it's YOU going through the labor. YOU are entitled to have whoever you want present (within medical reason of course, you can't invite an entire cheerleading team of 25). The hospital WILL back up on this. Most ask you to present a list ahead of time. If your hospital won't, then change your hospital.

 

[connorlevismom]

Just a quick note to the younger women around Dis who think that:

"It's not fair to have my mother in the delivery room for the baby's birth IF I don't invite his mother too!".

With all due respect, it's totally fair for a woman to request her own mother if that's who she wants, while excluding others. Heck, if Godzilla is what calms you during labor, invite him too.

Labor and delivery is very intimate. It's about YOU, your health, and YOUR well-being. Have your DH if you want. Or not. But understand that you are under no obligation to invite MIL (or anyone else) to view your private body areas.

If your husband hassles you about it, just remind him that it's YOU going through the labor. YOU are entitled to have whoever you want present (within medical reason of course, you can't invite an entire cheerleading team of 25). The hospital WILL back up on this. Most ask you to present a list ahead of time. If your hospital won't, then change your hospital.