The only parents I know who are like this are from other countries. Their kids were born here but were/are expected to not date until they FINISH college. So far, so good. Not a pregnancy among them. One finished college last year, met a guy, dated and is getting married this summer.
I'm sure it's hard for them to only go on group outings, since they have normal feelings like any teenager, and who knows what they do behind their parents backs, like any teenager. But my point is so far none of them went wacky freaky wild when they "came of age".
I don't particularly believe in this way, but I do believe it can teach young people self control and to focus on creating a good foundation for themselves before they get into relationships with the opposite sex.
This is exactly how I was raised, and am raising my children. Education is very important, and so is socialization, but there are other types of socializations besides dating. We are a busy family, with lots of events and activities going on, and even though my kids are young, my almost 8 year old does ask once in awhile, when she will be allowed to date, how do you date, etc? We talk about it being an event that happens differently for each person - some peolpe are more mature and responsible than others, but no one in our home needs to be dating at 14 or even 15 years old.
Dating is very problematic for teens, period. So, you let 14 year olds do it, and you are asking for trouble. I also don't get the fascination with allowing kids to date at very young ages either - why do they need that type of relationship in their lives at that young of an age?
Waiting until 21 is an older age, and I should clarify, that my parents didn't say I had to wait until 21 - it just worked out that way. They told us no dating under 16, and after that, it was up for discussion. I was a shy girl, and very busy with school, church, etc. I was also 1 - 1.5 years younger than my classmates due to starting school early and being skipped, so no need for me to be doing that. I was 13 in grade 9, and all of the boys were older than me.
I think there is nothing wrong with limits on kids, as it does teach self-control, but it has to be an ongoing process, like it was for me, and how it is in my house, and then it will have more of a chance of positive results. My sister was a rebel, but she knew how important it was to my parents that we not date at young ages, nor be in cars at that age (they didn't really let us go out with friends at night, so that was easy), and she proved herself to be mature and responsible, and she was allowed to date my brother in law at age 17.5 years old, and he's 6 years older than her. He worked for my parents, so we knew him, and all was very good in that situation.
I think parents need to be involved, and I see many parents not involved these days, so kids are dating at younger ages, and parents don't even know who they are dating, whereas with us, there was an age limit, and then there was discussion once that age limit of 16 was reached, about what the next steps were going to be. We also always knew what expectations our parents had of us. Sex and pregnancy was not an issue - my parents never forbid us from it at all, and in fact, they educated us about it very well. The big thing for my parents was drinking/drugs, as well as a driving. Dating was just something that could be problematic with both of those areas, as well as cause drama that we didn't need at that time of our lives.
Not all kids go crazy and freak out...they may do so because they aren't taught or respected enough through the whole process of growing up.
Tiger
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