My In-laws are worse than your In-laws!

[johnsontrio]

I'll post my favorite (not!) out-law story, but trust me there are many more that are equally beyond the pale. My DH is # 5 of 7 and #2 of 4 boys. Many years ago when DBIL #3 was getting married he asked DBIL #4 to be the best man. It became apparent that DBIL #4 didn't have the financial means to take care of the best man responsibilities so DH stepped up and offered to pay for the bachelor party. The party planning fell to DH and I as DBIL #4 was unmarried and unaccustomed to planning for food, beverages, etc. for a large group. They decided to have the party in our home, no problem. I made plans to take DD then 4 to a hotel to swim and spend the night so we wouldn't be there with the booze, cigars, oh, and the entertainment.

The morning of the party I wake up with a splitting migraine that does not get much better. I finally tell DH that I am not up to going to a hotel with DD so please call your Mom and ask if we can come and watch HBO Family and hang out for the night. She tells DH to tell me that I am welcome to come because she is not going to be there. She is going to a sleepover/pizza party at DH's sister's. Since all the men in the family were going to be at my house for the bachelor party, the women in the family planned something for all the women and the kids. All the women in the family except me and DD. Needless to say, we stayed home and stayed upstairs all night while all the merriment went on. That was really the last straw for me as far as feeling like a "true" member of his family.

Fast forward 14 years, MIL now has moderate to advanced Alzheimer's. I took her last week to get her hair done and buy her new shoes. She can't remember major details from her life and has absolutely no short term memory. As we were leaving the hair salon, the owner says to her, "Your daughter is waiting for you." MIL gets this grinchy look on her face and in a stage whisper tells her "That's not my daughter, that's my DIL." I told DH that when I'm old and confused, living in a facility, I won't care who comes to take me out of there for the day, they will be close enough to a son or daughter for me!

 

[Principessa1284]

She threatened my kitten... MIL ACTUALLY THREATENED MY 5 MONTH OLD KITTEN!! Are you kidding me?! If you haven't read my other posts, when DH and I got married, my ILs suggested that we live in their old house here in Orlando. They charge us very low rent while we catch up on our bills and save for a house. Sounded too good to be true.. and it was. Little did we know how much of a mistake this was.. we thought that since the house would be taken care of, they wouldn't be visiting as much from their home in Alabama. WRONG! They've found countless reasons to come and visit for weeks and weeks at a time.. I think just to drive me crazy. Anyways, they knew I had 3 cats when we moved in. They apparently have a huge problem with animals in the house, but let it slide because they fell in love with 2 of my cats. The 3rd that we had just adopted from the animal shelter ended up being a very sick kitty and unfortunately she didn't live very long

So fast-forward to 2 months ago, we were in Petco and the day before, someone had thrown 2 kittens in a plastic bag onto the counter and ran out. One of the cashiers took them home and cleaned them up and fed them, but one was too far gone and didn't survive the night. The next day, she brought the surviving kitten in to see if someone wanted her before taking her to the animal shelter (NOT a no-kill shelter). Well we saw her - she had been there all day and no one had taken her - and fell in love. It broke my heart to think that she'd fall through the cracks, and DH made the decision before I could to bring her home. She's a little fiesty - but a very sweet, well-behaved kitten who LOVES to play and be cuddled. She's missed the litter box a handful of times (by a foot or two.. on a tile floor) but besides that, has caused no issues or damage.

The ILs showed up on Sunday with 2 days notice. They were originally going to come for a family reunion, then cancelled about 2 weeks ago, then apparently changed their minds. I swear, they make this tiny 2-bedroom house feel like a studio apartment. As soon as they arrived, DH said MIL immediately made a comment about the kitten having to go. He ignored it, as she loves to make a big deal out of something one day and forgets about it the next. Then yesterday when I was home, she says how we should be looking for new homes for her. We also ignored that, thinking she would eventually fall for her like she did the other 2 cats.

So this morning while I was at work, she asks DH if we had found her a new home and DH tells her that we're keeping her and do not plan to give her away. MIL huffs and says, "Well, cats do have a way of disappearing..." ARE YOU SERIOUS?! When DH told me, I was seriously LIVID - who would say something like that?! The gloves are off.. I am SO DONE!! When I got home from my meeting, kitten crawled up on my lap and went to sleep. MIL comes over and again says something passive-aggressive about how she'll be needing a new home. I told her, point blank, that this kitten is MINE and she is NOT going anywhere. I said that I would be happy to start looking into a new place to live for DH and I. She looks at FIL and says, "Did ya hear that?" and he says, "Yep." Then she huffs off to her bedroom.. I haven't heard from her since and this was about 6 hours ago.

I. am. DONE. If she's going to make her stand over a KITTEN, I can't imagine what she'll be like when we start having kids. It's too bad that DH and I have pretty much decided that they will probably never meet their future grandkids. We would be their last chance to have a relationship with them - SIL has already banned them from her and her kids' lives, and their other grandchild lives in Germany with his mother and wants nothing to do with them. DH and I are going to the bank tomorrow to see about getting pre-approved for a mortgage. DH wants to sever all ties with them and I can't say that I disagree.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, Principessa, I think the first thing I'd be doing today is packing and looking for a rent until I could find a house.

 

[Principessa1284]

Well, Principessa, I think the first thing I'd be doing today is packing and looking for a rent until I could find a house.

Yep.. DH and I are sitting down tonight to look at our finances and see if we can find a short-term rental.

 

[Goofycampers]

Disneybuckeye I think you and I have the same mother in law!

 

[pkondz]

DH and I are going to the bank tomorrow to see about getting pre-approved for a mortgage.

Good luck!

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

DH and I are going to the bank tomorrow to see about getting pre-approved for a mortgage. DH wants to sever all ties with them and I can't say that I disagree.

 

[Buckeye Princess]

As soon as I read this, my eyes were drawn to "location" to check if you were in Western PA. LOL

I had the same thought. My family is from western PA and when all of my out of state college friends came to my wedding they had never heard of a cookie table.

 

[Lucille1963]

Years ago, my (not quite yet husband) and I were hosting our very first Christmas dinner. We crammed the house with my family, our friends, and MIL. Our place was 750sqft and it was a sit down dinner for 12 or 14. We had to borrow tables and chairs from the neighbors which we crammed into the kitchen. Nice and cozy!! I was happily playing Suzy Homemaker, baking a ham, whipping mashed potatoes, etc in the kitchen with my mother while everyone else relaxed in the front room.

MIL had brought over a photo album from the past year that everyone was flipping through. After it was set down in the kitchen, my mom and I opened it to look. That was when I saw a picture from the previous Christmas at my parent's house of Dh and MIL sitting together in front of the fireplace. The problem was, I used to be in that picture. I was sitting in the middle. But now I wasn't. SHE CUT ME OUT! And then has the nerve to bring it to MY HOUSE on CHRISTMAS!! I managed to keep it together until most of the guests left and I lost it.

She has been a source of so many whack a doodle moments, but this one hurt the most.

 

[Motherofboys]

She threatened my kitten... MIL ACTUALLY THREATENED MY 5 MONTH OLD KITTEN!! Are you kidding me?! If you haven't read my other posts, when DH and I got married, my ILs suggested that we live in their old house here in Orlando. They charge us very low rent while we catch up on our bills and save for a house. Sounded too good to be true.. and it was. Little did we know how much of a mistake this was.. we thought that since the house would be taken care of, they wouldn't be visiting as much from their home in Alabama. WRONG! They've found countless reasons to come and visit for weeks and weeks at a time.. I think just to drive me crazy. Anyways, they knew I had 3 cats when we moved in. They apparently have a huge problem with animals in the house, but let it slide because they fell in love with 2 of my cats. The 3rd that we had just adopted from the animal shelter ended up being a very sick kitty and unfortunately she didn't live very long

So fast-forward to 2 months ago, we were in Petco and the day before, someone had thrown 2 kittens in a plastic bag onto the counter and ran out. One of the cashiers took them home and cleaned them up and fed them, but one was too far gone and didn't survive the night. The next day, she brought the surviving kitten in to see if someone wanted her before taking her to the animal shelter (NOT a no-kill shelter). Well we saw her - she had been there all day and no one had taken her - and fell in love. It broke my heart to think that she'd fall through the cracks, and DH made the decision before I could to bring her home. She's a little fiesty - but a very sweet, well-behaved kitten who LOVES to play and be cuddled. She's missed the litter box a handful of times (by a foot or two.. on a tile floor) but besides that, has caused no issues or damage.

The ILs showed up on Sunday with 2 days notice. They were originally going to come for a family reunion, then cancelled about 2 weeks ago, then apparently changed their minds. I swear, they make this tiny 2-bedroom house feel like a studio apartment. As soon as they arrived, DH said MIL immediately made a comment about the kitten having to go. He ignored it, as she loves to make a big deal out of something one day and forgets about it the next. Then yesterday when I was home, she says how we should be looking for new homes for her. We also ignored that, thinking she would eventually fall for her like she did the other 2 cats.

So this morning while I was at work, she asks DH if we had found her a new home and DH tells her that we're keeping her and do not plan to give her away. MIL huffs and says, "Well, cats do have a way of disappearing..." ARE YOU SERIOUS?! When DH told me, I was seriously LIVID - who would say something like that?! The gloves are off.. I am SO DONE!! When I got home from my meeting, kitten crawled up on my lap and went to sleep. MIL comes over and again says something passive-aggressive about how she'll be needing a new home. I told her, point blank, that this kitten is MINE and she is NOT going anywhere. I said that I would be happy to start looking into a new place to live for DH and I. She looks at FIL and says, "Did ya hear that?" and he says, "Yep." Then she huffs off to her bedroom.. I haven't heard from her since and this was about 6 hours ago.

I. am. DONE. If she's going to make her stand over a KITTEN, I can't imagine what she'll be like when we start having kids. It's too bad that DH and I have pretty much decided that they will probably never meet their future grandkids. We would be their last chance to have a relationship with them - SIL has already banned them from her and her kids' lives, and their other grandchild lives in Germany with his mother and wants nothing to do with them. DH and I are going to the bank tomorrow to see about getting pre-approved for a mortgage. DH wants to sever all ties with them and I can't say that I disagree.

Major hugs to you BTDT, worst 4 weeks of my life!! Yes, we only lasted 4 weeks in my MIL's "extra house". I was job searching and our lease ended on our appt., my DH really wanted to move back to his hometown so off we went. But of course DH ended up not being able to find a job in his hometown and living 4 hours away with a friend to work.

So I got stuck in MIL's house with 4 kids...and she was constantly doing the "surprise" visits and then complaining to my DH that I didn't sweep the front porch or I didn't vacuum enough. Really?? And then she started in about how our cat had to go b/c she found poop by the front room and it was pooping all over. It was a hairball people, one hairball

4 weeks into it and I couldn't take it anymore, even if it was free for a few months, it wasn't worth my sanity.

Guess what happened a year after we left? My stupid SIL moved in there with her kids, a string of boyfriends, all of which had huge dogs. MIL paid all of her utilities and gave her money for her car/credit cards/food. Those dogs tore the place up But of course MIL didn't complain one bit.

 

[loganpaulsmom]

I know that I could top you all.. I haven't met a MIL thread that I haven't felt compelled to want to write in..

I don't have all day so I will just write down some highlights..

1.. when I was 5 mnths pregnant my mil said she was going to buy me a poncho for the winter because "THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE GOING TO FIT INTO A REGULAR SIZED COAT"..
2. The day I delivered my son, she walked into my room and in front of 4 other people asked " SO how much weight did you lose"?
3. The very first Christmas I had with my husband (we were dating at the time) was my first without my dad (who had died in Sept.) his family invited my mom and brother too.. MIL's mother was there (who came via van from a nursing home because she had MS and was confined to a wheelchair)..for a reason that we still don't know, she screamed at her mother using profanity at the top of her lungs.. basically everyone left and she cried for me on her bed for an hour " christine, everyone hates me" sobbing uncontrollably.. (should have known then)..
4. invited herself to disney with all of us.. complained the entire time.. tried to parent our children and when we finally fought back, she faked fainting and was" carried" out of line at the safari by my FIL.. the key to this is, that night was the 1 and only night that we had scheduled to go out without the kids, and the inlaws were watching the kids.. she stayed in her room and my FIL got her take out..
5. more recently she quit her job (called it retiring) without the means to do so.. her sons now own her house yet.. she doesn't care that both of them work to pay for the mortgage that she can't afford..
6. she has come in between the marriages of her son's and their wife by trying to make everything about her.
7. she lies about everything from NOT smoking.. to making "homemade cookies".
I could go on and on.. There are so many more.. she is someone that blames everyone else for her life.. yet, she doesn't do anythign to make herself better.. she wallows in her own miserty by doing nothing but complaining about her life..
Currently myself and my sil don't talk to her at all.. I make no attempt to talk to her.. Its sad for her.. But, not for me..

 

[DVCJones]

My MIL has done some crazy things, but the three that really pushed me over the edge are...

The time she told my then 3yo and 5yo to "sit still and don't move" when she couldn't figure out the buckles on their car seats. She had it in her head that she HAD to take them to Friendly's....about 10 miles away down a major highway. I only found out about it after my 5yo very proudly told me "I was a good girl for gram today, I didn't even move once in my car seat." with a little questioning, I got the full story....

The other time was when she was holding my DD (7yo at the time) and telling her to "stop worrying about her little sister and focus on making yourself happy because no one is going to take care of you better than you. You need to put yourself first."

My older DD absolutely adores her sister. They actually adore each other. My DD has a natural giving soul. She is very thoughtful and once explained to me that it makes her happy to make others happy. I still can't believe my MIL said that to her. Seriously, who does that?

Lastly, while my DD was being treated for cancer, she called out of work so she could "help me." Except she went to the beach instead!!!! I found out about it when we were at a cookout at her house and before her friends from work arrived she told me "If anyone asks, I was with you at the hospital last Tuesday."

 

[USMC0193]

I've been reading this thread and finally have enough guts to post on it . . .

My MIL took bets at my wedding on how long DH and I would stay married. She gave us all of 6 months . . . . needless to say 15 plus years later she still says "people made up the lie"

MIL always introduces me as her "favorite DIL" - I'm her only DIL

While I was in college, I would come home every weekend to see DH (DBF at the time) and who would be over at the house "staying the weekend" - yep - you guessed my husbands ex-girlfriend (she was the one MIL wanted hubby to marry)

Oh, she gets mad because DH won't give her a "lip peck" - Hello, DH is nearly 40 - sorry - only two women in his life get "lip pecks" - me and our 3 year old daughter

MIL gets mad when our daughter doesn't want to give her a kiss - she will try and grab my daughter by the face and force her to kiss her. My daughter is screaming for her to "leave her alone" and myself and hubby have to pull our daughter away from her . . . of course I'm the mean one, because I'm refusing to allow her to "love" her GD

This woman has the "wow is me" mentality. Everytime she calls and talks to DH she gives the "sigh" hoping he will prod her and find out what her "emergency of the day" is . . . when she sighs he now says "Mom, you sound tired, I'm going to let you go"

As you can see, we have the "love hate relationship" - we love to "hate" each other . . .

 

[tweedlemom]

My in-laws are great. My sister-in-law (brother's wife) however is interesting. After sending an expletive -filled email to my father explaining why she hates us all and why we are at fault for her deteriorating marriage to my brother (one week before Christmas) she then proceeded to send me, my sister and my parents the same 13-page xeroxed letter explaining, in bulleted points, exactly WHY she hates us all. (She itemized all of our faults and sometimes referenced our short comings in another's list of shortcomings.) She then ended the letter by saying we could call her anytime to discuss our faults with her, then signed it "Love, xxxxx." Yeah, I did NOT call her, and never will again.

 

[beachlover9395]

My in-laws are great. My sister-in-law (brother's wife) however is interesting. After sending an expletive -filled email to my father explaining why she hates us all and why we are at fault for her deteriorating marriage to my brother (one week before Christmas) she then proceeded to send me, my sister and my parents the same 13-page xeroxed letter explaining, in bulleted points, exactly WHY she hates us all. (She itemized all of our faults and sometimes referenced our short comings in another's list of shortcomings.) She then ended the letter by saying we could call her anytime to discuss our faults with her, then signed it "Love, xxxxx." Yeah, I did NOT call her, and never will again.

OMG! I know that there's probably no way obviously, but for some strange reason, I'd LOVE to see that letter, lol. That was definitely the letter from h*ll!

Have you had to see or talk to her since her "airing of grievances"? (Seinfeld reference)

This thread has definitely proven to me that just when I think I've seen/heard it all, I find out I haven't.

 

[tweedlemom]

OMG! I know that there's probably no way obviously, but for some strange reason, I'd LOVE to see that letter, lol. That was definitely the letter from h*ll!

Have you had to see or talk to her since her "airing of grievances"? (Seinfeld reference)

This thread has definitely proven to me that just when I think I've seen/heard it all, I find out I haven't.

No, I haven't seen her/talked to her and she is withholding my nephew from us as her way of maintaining control and being in power. Very sad. In one month it will have been a year since I've seen him.

 

[tlbwriter]

No, I haven't seen her/talked to her and she is withholding my nephew from us as her way of maintaining control and being in power. Very sad. In one month it will have been a year since I've seen him.

Your brother doesn't have any access to his own child?

 

[ginna74]

In the same format I would write how people can be so childish and so hateful and how they can break up families.... Maybe I should have done that lol

 

[SallySkelington]

Just wanted to say that I missed this thread.

I hope every one is doing a little better now.

And Principessa, I hope you find an apartment, your MIL is being a little ridiculous over a kitten.

Lucille, loganpaulsmom and tweedlemom I'm sorry, things like that are terrible!

 

[cassiez76]

these stories are crazy and sad, some hilarious!

my mil has been really quiet the last few months. DH doesn't really mention her to me since he knows she's not my favorite person. she did email me after we got back from our trip to DH's hometown.

we stayed with my fil/step mil and it was great! mil emailed to say she missed seeing me and she wants to put what happened behind us. sorry, but somebody that's called me a horrible parent that neglects her child is just not something that can be forgiven in my eyes. she's never apologized to me, just hubby. she said i didn't need an apology.

but it's weird she hasn't wanted to skype on sunday's with DH to see our son. she loved to skype while hubby was watching football games. she always pulled the woe is me, you aren't talking to me, you're watching the game.

i can only imagine what's to come when she finds out my fil/step mil are coming for the weekend in jan.