handinpocket
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2009
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My MIL would always tell people "Oh, I just love that woman", never used my name and never called me by name.
And WHY should we give them a break? When they say and do terrible, mean things? Personally we did give MIL a break...from us. Sometimes everybody needs that.
This is to all you who hate your MIL's. Give those ladies a break! You all sound like DIL's from hell. I'm not a MIL
but God help me if I ever have some of you as DIL's. I will be pleasant and trust my childrens judgement! If they love them then I will too!
"If you don't have anything hateful to say, then don't say anything at all." A direct quote from Bambi by Thumper's twin, Mad-eye.
My MIL would always tell people "Oh, I just love that woman", never used my name and never called me by name.
OK, so BF and I aren't engaged or married yet, but since he takes care of my grandmother with me I feel that he's part of the family, and I think this is remarkably appropriate as to how crazy my mom (his future MIL) is. It's particularly appropriate since this was my poor BF's first trip to WDW...
Alright, appropriate backstory--I've got two younger sisters, one 16 and one 21. The 21 year old has been dating her bf for 6 years, and I've been with mine for 2 years.
My youngest sister (DSis16), a couple years ago, a sophomore in high school, fell for this guy and was so happy he liked her too. Yay! Score for her. My mom liked him too, because he laughs at her jokes and generally enjoyed spending time with her. Whatever. DSis21 and DDad thought he was a little hyper and weird. But whatever, to each their own. My mom makes friends with his mom, which was a big coup for her since she has a hard time making and keeping friends (gee, I wonder why?)
Before long, DSis16 isn't into this guy anymore, and wants to break up with him, because he's kind of pressuring her and she's not feeling very comfortable around him. Which is fine, because she's in HIGH SCHOOL. Mom says that DSis16 must be being too prude and standoffish.DSis16 doesn't want to fight with mom, so stays with the guy for a little longer and asks DSis21 for advice on how to break up with him. My DSis16 is a very sweet girl, very easily bullied by mom, and very amenable to making things go along more smoothly. A NICE GIRL.
Then, mom says, "Hey, we can go on vacation to WDW!" DSis16 says, "Yayy!!" Mom says, "It will be great, now everyone can have someone to spend time with!" DSis16 says, "You mean DSis21's bf and [my] bf can come, too?" And Mom says, "Yes, and your boyfriend!" DSis16 says, "What if I bring a friend instead?" Mom says, "No, I already asked his mom and she said it was ok. Plus then you guys won't gang up on me, because he'll stand up for me and go on the rides I want to go on. Either he comes or no one goes on vacation." (My mom denies saying this, btw, and DSis16 didn't tell DDad this was happening. However, knowing my mom's past things, there is no way DSis16 made this up.) So DSis16 STAYS IN THIS relationship to try to help make the vacation go more smoothly for the rest of us, but can't help it and breaks up with the guy before we leave on vacation.
Well, of course he comes anyway (Mom said it wouldn't be fair to him to cancel on him), and Mom is ashamed of the way my DSis16 TREATED HIM, and how selfish she is to ruin the only good friendship Mom has (with the kid's mom). He came on vacation with us anyway, and spent the whole time trying to GET BACK WITH MY SISTER, doing things that bordered on sexual harrassment!!!Mom IGNORES this, throws histrionic fits--even threatening to divorce my father in a very public way in the Typhoon Lagoon locker area when he said that she needed to be more supportive of her daughter--and says it's all my DSis16's fault!!! To protect my DSis16 from him, my DBF and I spent time with him instead of with my sisters, who we don't get to see very often. Honestly, it wasn't his fault, he was an okay kid that got put in a terrible situation, and even though he should have taken the hint to LEAVE HER ALONE he was getting mixed signals from MY MOM!!!! He was so difficult to spend time with--the energy of Tigger and the maturity of a 5 year old. It was so difficult.
Meanwhile, Mom said she was ashamed of my DSis16 and how rude she was being, and that she wished the BOY was her child instead. Since they've gotten back, my Mom has treated her terribly, saying how she's so ashamed of her, and even stopped answering when she called her "mom" and went around and found presents my DSis16 gave to her over the course of her life and threw them out. They like, have made the peace they need to make for my sister to be able to live there until she graduates from HS, but Christ. My mom is a terrifying person. She STILL hangs out with the boy, gets coffee with him and stuff. Creepy, creepy s***. You'd think her daughters are all a**holes, but honestly, we are some of the nicest, most responsible, kindest people you'd meet--and I'm not saying that in a self-aggrandizing way, but when you grow up with a mother who always tells you how terrible you are (when she's in one of those "moods"), you have to learn to take an honest assessment of who you are just to stay sane and remember that she's the one in the wrong.
When I told her I want to go on vacation to WDW with my BF in 2013 (surprised I could ever get him within a 100-mile radius of the place after the nightmare of last time), she had the GREAT IDEA that it should be a family trip. Uhhh no? Apart from OBVIOUSLY feeling terribly upset for my poor DSis16, I feel for my DBF, my DSis21's bf, and anyone who has to come into our family and have my Mom for a MIL.![]()
You already sound very judgemental so I really doubt it........![]()
This is to all you who hate your MIL's. Give those ladies a break! You all sound like DIL's from hell. I'm not a MIL
but God help me if I ever have some of you as DIL's. I will be pleasant and trust my childrens judgement! If they love them then I will too!
This is to all you who hate your MIL's. Give those ladies a break! You all sound like DIL's from hell. I'm not a MIL
but God help me if I ever have some of you as DIL's. I will be pleasant and trust my childrens judgement! If they love them then I will too!
OK, so BF and I aren't engaged or married yet, but since he takes care of my grandmother with me I feel that he's part of the family, and I think this is remarkably appropriate as to how crazy my mom (his future MIL) is. It's particularly appropriate since this was my poor BF's first trip to WDW...
Alright, appropriate backstory--I've got two younger sisters, one 16 and one 21. The 21 year old has been dating her bf for 6 years, and I've been with mine for 2 years.
My youngest sister (DSis16), a couple years ago, a sophomore in high school, fell for this guy and was so happy he liked her too. Yay! Score for her. My mom liked him too, because he laughs at her jokes and generally enjoyed spending time with her. Whatever. DSis21 and DDad thought he was a little hyper and weird. But whatever, to each their own. My mom makes friends with his mom, which was a big coup for her since she has a hard time making and keeping friends (gee, I wonder why?)
Before long, DSis16 isn't into this guy anymore, and wants to break up with him, because he's kind of pressuring her and she's not feeling very comfortable around him. Which is fine, because she's in HIGH SCHOOL. Mom says that DSis16 must be being too prude and standoffish.DSis16 doesn't want to fight with mom, so stays with the guy for a little longer and asks DSis21 for advice on how to break up with him. My DSis16 is a very sweet girl, very easily bullied by mom, and very amenable to making things go along more smoothly. A NICE GIRL.
Then, mom says, "Hey, we can go on vacation to WDW!" DSis16 says, "Yayy!!" Mom says, "It will be great, now everyone can have someone to spend time with!" DSis16 says, "You mean DSis21's bf and [my] bf can come, too?" And Mom says, "Yes, and your boyfriend!" DSis16 says, "What if I bring a friend instead?" Mom says, "No, I already asked his mom and she said it was ok. Plus then you guys won't gang up on me, because he'll stand up for me and go on the rides I want to go on. Either he comes or no one goes on vacation." (My mom denies saying this, btw, and DSis16 didn't tell DDad this was happening. However, knowing my mom's past things, there is no way DSis16 made this up.) So DSis16 STAYS IN THIS relationship to try to help make the vacation go more smoothly for the rest of us, but can't help it and breaks up with the guy before we leave on vacation.
Well, of course he comes anyway (Mom said it wouldn't be fair to him to cancel on him), and Mom is ashamed of the way my DSis16 TREATED HIM, and how selfish she is to ruin the only good friendship Mom has (with the kid's mom). He came on vacation with us anyway, and spent the whole time trying to GET BACK WITH MY SISTER, doing things that bordered on sexual harrassment!!!Mom IGNORES this, throws histrionic fits--even threatening to divorce my father in a very public way in the Typhoon Lagoon locker area when he said that she needed to be more supportive of her daughter--and says it's all my DSis16's fault!!! To protect my DSis16 from him, my DBF and I spent time with him instead of with my sisters, who we don't get to see very often. Honestly, it wasn't his fault, he was an okay kid that got put in a terrible situation, and even though he should have taken the hint to LEAVE HER ALONE he was getting mixed signals from MY MOM!!!! He was so difficult to spend time with--the energy of Tigger and the maturity of a 5 year old. It was so difficult.
Meanwhile, Mom said she was ashamed of my DSis16 and how rude she was being, and that she wished the BOY was her child instead. Since they've gotten back, my Mom has treated her terribly, saying how she's so ashamed of her, and even stopped answering when she called her "mom" and went around and found presents my DSis16 gave to her over the course of her life and threw them out. They like, have made the peace they need to make for my sister to be able to live there until she graduates from HS, but Christ. My mom is a terrifying person. She STILL hangs out with the boy, gets coffee with him and stuff. Creepy, creepy s***. You'd think her daughters are all a**holes, but honestly, we are some of the nicest, most responsible, kindest people you'd meet--and I'm not saying that in a self-aggrandizing way, but when you grow up with a mother who always tells you how terrible you are (when she's in one of those "moods"), you have to learn to take an honest assessment of who you are just to stay sane and remember that she's the one in the wrong.
When I told her I want to go on vacation to WDW with my BF in 2013 (surprised I could ever get him within a 100-mile radius of the place after the nightmare of last time), she had the GREAT IDEA that it should be a family trip. Uhhh no? Apart from OBVIOUSLY feeling terribly upset for my poor DSis16, I feel for my DBF, my DSis21's bf, and anyone who has to come into our family and have my Mom for a MIL.![]()
This is to all you who hate your MIL's. Give those ladies a break! You all sound like DIL's from hell. I'm not a MIL
but God help me if I ever have some of you as DIL's. I will be pleasant and trust my childrens judgement! If they love them then I will too!
THAT is just awful.
for you and
for your sister.
Your poor, poor sister!I'm sure she is plotting and planning her escape when she graduates. What an awful mother to do the things she has done. I hope your DS doesn't take your mother's cruel words and deeds to heart.
Kollerbear, I hope you get her out of there as much as you can and counter your mother's meanness. Can she come live with you? That kind of harsh treatment can really damage a person.
I thought that kinda stuff happened in movies!
To you and your sisters. I hope it get's better and please don't take offense but I really think your mom should be ashamed to go as far as throwing away her gifts from your youngest sister (the 16yo) IMHO. When everything is said and done she will feel guilty and she won't be able to get those little things back.
Haven't seen everyone around! I guess things are on the quiet side. That should change Friday when DH goes to his mom's "Grander" Opening of her antique store. Can't wait to hear what nonsense she pulls.
A new story here...
We were camping this weekend, DS12 was at the park playing tag with some kids. He was running to get away from the IT person, turned around and swung his arm into a pole and broke it. DH called MIL to tell her, It was my fault because I was the one who suggested our family begin camping (she would NEVER spend time outdoors...) and I wasn't watching him at the park. Even if I had been at the park, how could I have prevented it..Muchless, at 12, I don't think he needs his mommy watching his every move
I was also told that because I work, I wouldn't be able to help him at all.. I only work MWF's and I don't think I'll be going to all his classes with him...lol
BTW DH broke his arm 3 times as a kid and she went back to work when the youngest started school.
Haven't seen everyone around! I guess things are on the quiet side. That should change Friday when DH goes to his mom's "Grander" Opening of her antique store. Can't wait to hear what nonsense she pulls.
Thanks for your support--wow, it was so therapeutic to get that off my chest!
Yeah... my DSis21 does a lot to help get her out... I live really far away. Although I've told her many times she could move to live with me, she wants to go to the school she's been attending. Also, sometimes the path of least resistance is the last painful, you know? I know it's tough for her, but yeah, she just counts down the days 'till she gets to be on her own and answer to herself.
Oh, no offense taken at all. I used to feel really bad for my mom, because she's my mom, you know? and I kept thinking that eventually she'd regret the things she's done or said, but you know, I just don't think she'll ever see things in that light. Whatever mental illness she has has just gotten worse with age. I used to think she was bipolar, but recently she'd has such a terrible mean, narcissistic streak that I honestly don't know what she has, but it seems to make her incapable of regret and self-reflection. It's just a reminder to all of us in our family with her genes to listen when someone tells you that your behavior is hurting them and that you need help/therapy!!!
SIGH. So cathartic, wow. I guess you always know you're not the only one with crazy in your family, but it still helps so much to like, really hear other peoples' experiences, you know??? To all of you dealing with terrible inlaws, I've gotta say that your partners are so LUCKY to have you loving them so much and staying strong with them through the stress. I know I'm thankful every day for my DBF's patience.