My husband's journey with brain cancer.... Happy Thanksgiving to all!

[C.Ann]

I'm so very sorry..

 

[Jenvenza]

You know we are here if you ever want to talk about your hisband or anything else, Lisa.

 

[Coach K]

My wife passed away over 7 months ago from cancer and it hasn't been easy. I know the emotions that you are dealing with. But the one thing that has helped me is my family-specifically my SIL. She helped my wife when I had to be at work and she was in hospice (my wife wanted to do hospice at home) and called me every few days after my wife passed away. Maybe you could join a support group. Someone from the hospice program my wife was in calls every couple of months to see how I am doing. The second thing my wife said to me away the cancer diagnosis was that she had to find me a young chickee!! She said the same thing 2 weeks before she passed-that she still hadn't found a young chickee for me!! She told me not to sit around the house and feel sorry for myself (she knew me better than I did)-that I had to get out and do things. I'll tell you what I told her the day that she passed-that you have to look at this as a new adventure in your life; know that there is nothing you can do about the past and what has happened and that you have to look to the future and its' possibilities.

 

[daisy2jae]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[seaprincess]

Good Morning Everyone,

I have not been on the boards in a few days and just read some of your replies. You all have been wonderful to lift my spirits and offer words of encouragement! Thank you!

Coach K~a very popular Coach's name in this area!(although I am a Tarheel fan). Thank you for sharing your story. My husband Ben was also at home with Hospice and he was able to stay there until two weeks before his death when he went into the ICU. Like your dear wife, he constantly encouraged me to keep living and learning about life. I just don't think anyone can prepare you for the sadness/emptiness you feel once the love of your life is gone. You are lucky to have "that person",in your Sister in Law. It takes a special person to reach out and check on you. I wish I had that with one of my family members. Suprisingly enough, there are several people on this board who have reached out to me privately and offered a shoulder and an ear. For that I feel truly blessed.

I am supposed to go to Walt Disney World this weekend to Food and Wine Festival at Epcot. I debated and deliberated all weekend, should I go, will I feel out of place although I will be with friends. WDW was "our magical place". We got engaged there, renewed our vows there two years ago and spent our honeymoon there in '95. After much debate and a lot of good advice from friends and coworkers, I think I need to go and get away. My hope is that his spirit will be with me and I will somehow feel connected to him if only in my heart and mind. Life is so precious and I do want to make each moment count. I need to learn to step outside the box and make a fresh start. This is a tall order but I know that is what Ben wanted me to do.

Thank you all a million times. This board has given me hope, strength, support and so much more than I can ever put into words. Have a magical day!!

Lisa

 

[safetymom]

I too was given a gift by my late husband. My husband's death was sudden and unexpected. The surgery that was supposed to be a tune up killed him.

He had mentioned before he went into the hospital that if anything were to happen that I should go on living. He said to be sad for a year or so and then go on living. If I didn't he would be sad. I told him nothing was going to happen but I would remember that.

It was such a blessing after his death because I didn't need to guess what his feelings were. That brought me comfort.

Life did go on, the pain got softer but you never forget. I wish all of you well that are dealing with the death of a spouse.

 

[Coach K]

Go and spend the weekend at WDW. At first I'm sure it will be emotional but you will remember all of the good things that happened there. My brother and his crew were there last month and took 4 of my late wife's memorial cards and hid them around the parks. I can't wait to schedule a trip and try to find them to see if they are still there!! It will be tough, but if I find one it will put a big smile on my face.

 

[DisneyFairytale]

You have heard it a millions times, but I'm really sorry for your loss. You are one tough lady. Disney and Disneyland are close to my heart because of the amount of emotional stresses I have been thru with my health. The park has always brought me to build great and memorable memories every time I have gone despite life's challenges.

I have no doubt in my mind, he will be with you on your trip after all who can stay away from Disneyland.

Much love with you and your family

 

[dogodisney]

I hope you have decided to go and if so have a fantastic trip.

 

[LisaMayTX]

Lisa - I had to write and tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my husband to kidney cancer in August. I'm also planning a trip to WDW - our kids are 17 & 16 and this was going to be our last trip to WDW before our daughter graduated from high school. Please keep in touch - when I sign my name, you'll understand why I wanted to touch base. Please take care of yourself...

 

[seaprincess]

Good Morning Everyone,

I wanted to take a moment to wish everyone on this Board a very Happy & safe Thanksgiving. It has been a year full of challanges, ups, downs and losses for many of us. Since September, I have experienced many "firsts" and tomorrow will be my first Thanksgiving alone; a celebration that held so much meaning for us. I am not sure emotionally what tomorrow is going to feel like when I wake up and know that he will not be in the kitchen cooking as has been tradition since we first met or at the dinner table. (My dear husband was a chef). Although Ben is no longer here with me, I am thankful we had 14 beautiful months together. His spirit continues to carry me through each day and has helped me with the healing process.

To Mackey Mouse and amandamc8, I will be thinking of you tomorrow. You both had wonderful,courageous men in your lives and I hope you are doing well. To all, thank you so much for giving me a place to come and share my life, thoughts, pains and inner most thoughts. It has been the best medicine anyone could prescribe.

Have a Magical Day!

With Love,

Lisa

 

[DisneyFairytale]

Thank you all so very much for your thoughts and prayers. This past two weeks have been the most difficult time of my life. I have tried to stay strong, but after the planning, the funeral and everyone went home, I must say I feel so alone.

I returned to work very quickly for mainitaining routine. I find myself not wanting to leave work because I know I have to go home to an empty house. This past weekend was the most difficult as I walked around and did not know what to tackle first. My energy is so drained and although I did some work I feel as it was a small blip in the grand scheme of things.

I miss my DH more than I ever could have imagined. I would give everything up for one more moment. I am sure you all have heard it before. I keep praying that he will let me know he is okay and at peace. I know that sounds silly but I feel like it will pacify my soul.

I decided to go forward with my plans to go on our scheduled vacation, a Disney Cruise, on the Wonder in December. It would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. I thought there was no better way to honor his memory. Perhaps by then, I can use the time wisely to reflect and heal while at sea. I am nervous about traveling alone as Ben and I did everything together. I guess I need to put on my "big girl pants" and give it a shot.

Thank you all for your continued support!

Please make sure that you hug your loved ones everyday, tell them you love them and never take life for grantite. Make each day count!!

Good for you! and you better be having a lot of fun out there for him, yourself and US!

I have no idea what you are going thru, but I am going to be praying for you. You are one incredible lady, to have gone thru all this and managing so well. He must be so proud of you and must have a good giggle knowing you are still going on the cruise and going to have a blast.

Good for you, you should be proud of yourself. Much love from Canada.

 

[seaprincess]

Thanks so much Disney Fairytale....your comments really made me smile! I have been a bit nervous about traveling, but this really "hit home" and will give me the strength to follow through and enjoy my time at WDW and on the Disney Wonder!

The board truly inspires me more than I can ever imagine! Much love to you from North Carolina!!