My husband is out of his mind!

[thomas998]

Woah... in some places people pay to go hunting? I live in the middle of no where, well not quite but western MA is close to the middle of no where. You just walk on to state land in certain areas (when you get your hunting licence you get info about where) and you go hunting. You be careful not to get too close to the state line so you don't go over and end up with a big fine and all is good.

I have never heard of paying to go hunting beyond the cost of a license.

How often does he hunt would it be cheaper for him to go somewhere and go hunting for a weekend a few times a year?

What does he hunt for? My Dad's hunting probably evened out in cost. The years he got a deer we saved so much money in meat (we froze the venison and ate it) that it paid for a couple years licenses.

Living out west I can assure you that there are areas where there is no state land to hunt on, or if there is it would be risky because some idiot might mistake you for a deer and shoot you.

It is fairly common to lease land from individuals so that you will be the only one allowed on the land to hunt... is also common for people to buy what is otherwise worthless land in the middle of no where so they can hunt when they like but with a full understanding that the land has no water or other utilities and will be worthless as an investment.

It is fairly common.

 

[StitchBuddy]

I feel your pain!! My husband comes up with these half cooked ideas on a regular basis. LOL!! Let him dream, when he really starts to look at it then worry. It gives them something to dream about, most of the time that's all it is.

 

[DOREEN1779]

land or acreage purchases do require a lot of cash down. Depending on your FICA, sometimes more then 50%. I bet once your DH gets a look at that cash number, reality will hit.

 

[MsPoppinsTX]

Thanks all.

Doreen1779 - thanks for the tip about the land purchases and size of down payments. That way it can stay his dream and just that. I bet neither my DH nor BIL knows what it would actually take to purchase land.

 

[ssawka]

Are you sure they are serious and not "dreaming"? Us men do that, dream what it would be like to own something!

 

[Jeff_G]

We can't afford to buy land. He has a deer lease right now that costs $750 per year and that is fine with me but getting a $100k loan (DH's "half" of the purchase) would be like $500 a month over 30 years and I don't even know if they do such long term loans for only land.

Just to add onto what everyone else has told you, if they were to go through with this, they would each be liable for 100% of the loan not 50%. This would affect his and your ability to get other loans in the future ie too high debt to income ratio. If the BIL stopped paying his “half” your husband would have to pickup the other ½. If they both stopped paying the bank would come after the one with an income and or assets. Think about it what if the BIL gets laid off, sells their house, and you cannot make the full payment, but still have a job and a house. Depending on your state laws The bank could get a garnishment and or lean against your house, even force a foreclosure of your house….

Fun to dream but make sure they come back to reality…

 

[neatokimmo]

OP I feel for you. My guy bought a cabin (shack) on some land (on a freakin mountain) instead of paying off his primary residence. It is a source of bickering for us (me). It isn't just the cabin purchase, he wasted a lot of money by not applying that cash to his condo as he had it. Instead it earned a whole half percent instead of paying off 6%.

 

[scbelleatheart]

I think it's a great idea. Don't be practical, DREAM! My DFather did this and we spent many summers on his property and when he sold it he made a killing (no pun intended). He went there 1 time a month to oversee things and we had the wonderful pleasure of getting out of the city for a few months each year. My Mother called it Misery instead of Missouri but Dad and his Navy buddies loved it and she came to love the place it too. No neighbors, no restrictons. Just the big outdoors.
The best investmant you can make is land.
Flame away.

 

[neatokimmo]

I think it's a great idea. Don't be practical, DREAM! My DFather did this and we spent many summers on his property and when he sold it he made a killing (no pun intended). He went there 1 time a month to oversee things and we had the wonderful pleasure of getting out of the city for a few months each year. My Mother called it Misery instead of Missouri but Dad and his Navy buddies loved it and she came to love the place it too. No neighbors, no restrictons. Just the big outdoors.
The best investmant you can make is land.
Flame away.

The point is, they aren't on the same page about future finances. It's not about whether it is a good deal or not.

 

[sherry7]

OP, are we related? My DH and his brother have the same crazy dream about buying hunting land. That will happen over my dead (or divorced) body, since we still have the majority of our mortgage to pay off, and our retirement accounts aren't quite where they should be. Come to think of it, it might just happen over my dead body, since I have a substantial life insurance policy that he'd inherit to spend!

Hunting is an expensive enough hobby as it is. There's a big investment in rifles, scopes, ammunition...keeping in mind that just one gun doesn't do it. There's one for deer hunting, another for bear hunting, another for small game and turkey hunting. Don't forget about muzzleloader (black powder) season, and archery equipment too. Oh, and tree stands, decoys, hunting clothes, calls, scent, cost of licenses, etc. Oh gosh, I haven't even gotten started on fishing yet! Something "new and improved" comes out every year, which just adds to the wish list. Our freezer is normally stocked with venison, but if I had the money he spends on hunting, we could be dining on filet mignon and lobster.

Around here, we have state game lands. DH also belongs to a gun/hunting club that has private land to hunt on. The cost of that is negligible - about $100 a year. He also goes to various farmers who have their land posted for non-trespassing, and asks permission to hunt on their property. So, he has plenty of places to hunt for free.

In my case, DH is absolutely clueless about our finances. I've tried to discuss it with him, and he sticks his head in the sand. I gave up years ago, and just handle everything myself now, and tell him when something is not practical. OP, I think you need to sit down and have a serious discussion with your husband before his dream goes too far. Silly dreams are okay sometimes, but usually they shouldn't become a reality.

 

[sandynd]

I am married to a dreamer too, and I hate it. Because he's got his head up in the clouds (this is a family board, so I won't say where his head really is sometimes!!) most of the time, all the practical, "make it happen" stuff falls to me. And, like the 12-year-old a previous poster referred to, if it doesn't happen, he pouts. I can't say it applies to all dreamers, but my personal experience is that they stomp and whine when being brought back to earth, and the realist always has to be the bad guy. It's an exhausting way to live.

OP, I feel for you, but hopefully this time the bank that requires $100 grand up front can be the bad guy instead of you.

 

[disykat]

I think it's a great idea. Don't be practical, DREAM! My DFather did this and we spent many summers on his property and when he sold it he made a killing (no pun intended). He went there 1 time a month to oversee things and we had the wonderful pleasure of getting out of the city for a few months each year. My Mother called it Misery instead of Missouri but Dad and his Navy buddies loved it and she came to love the place it too. No neighbors, no restrictons. Just the big outdoors.
The best investmant you can make is land.
Flame away.

This post makes me sad for your mother. Your dad loved it, you apparently loved it, your mother sucked it up and got used to it. Not the kind of marriage I'd want. Hopefully it was just on this one issue and your dad did some "giving in" as well.

 

[wish*i*was*in*the*vi]

OP, I can understand why you're upset. Even your husband's $100,000 half of the investment wouldn't be chump change by any means, but quite honestly, more than likely the down payment required for a land purchase will be 20% give or take and the terms will be quite short, anywhere from 5-15 years depending on the lender. Some lenders will then roll the balance into a construction loan/mortgage so that you really have an additional 30 to pay the land off but this is not land that is going to be built on, just left undeveloped. So, I'm guessing that unless your BIL and DH have $40,000 between them for a down payment that the financing of the land isn't even possible.
I've been through the financing of land too many times to know what a pain it is. It's not as simple as a mortgage.

 

[eliza61]

I am married to a dreamer too, and I hate it. Because he's got his head up in the clouds (this is a family board, so I won't say where his head really is sometimes!!) most of the time, all the practical, "make it happen" stuff falls to me. And, like the 12-year-old a previous poster referred to, if it doesn't happen, he pouts. I can't say it applies to all dreamers, but my personal experience is that they stomp and whine when being brought back to earth, and the realist always has to be the bad guy. It's an exhausting way to live.

OP, I feel for you, but hopefully this time the bank that requires $100 grand up front can be the bad guy instead of you.

See IMO, that's two totally seperate issues. One issue is just what you said, an adult who has not grown up. I find dreamers generally will work to make them come true.

I'm the dreamer but I'm also an adult (I guess thats why I thought the op was so harsh on her husband). or maybe it's because I've got a great marriage (not saying you don't).

I bring my dreams to my dh and we talk about them, we're totally on board with the "practical" stuff because we have the same goals (college tuition, retirement etc) . So my dh would never, ever say to me "I forbid it". He doesn't have to because I'm fully on board with our plans. When my kids were little and I was a sahm, I would always get cruise cataloques and exotic vacation flyers, brochures about disney and paris. It was a nice break from the every day work of motherhood. My husband was secure enough to know that even though I would talk about them and even research them, I wasn't going to run out and put a down payment on one.
and then every once in a while we'll say, "you know what, we can squeeze in that dream".

Unfortunately the situation you describes is more like you are some ones mother not some one's wife and thats a different problem. disclaimer: I am in no way insinuating that is the way it works in your marriage.

 

[Bob NC]

I apologize if I offended you that was not my intention,

Okay, I'll say it. Yes it was.

 

[bumbershoot]

See IMO, that's two totally seperate issues. One issue is just what you said, an adult who has not grown up. I find dreamers generally will work to make them come true.

I'm the dreamer but I'm also an adult (I guess thats why I thought the op was so harsh on her husband). or maybe it's because I've got a great marriage (not saying you don't).

I bring my dreams to my dh and we talk about them, we're totally on board with the "practical" stuff because we have the same goals (college tuition, retirement etc) . So my dh would never, ever say to me "I forbid it". He doesn't have to because I'm fully on board with our plans. When my kids were little and I was a sahm, I would always get cruise cataloques and exotic vacation flyers, brochures about disney and paris. It was a nice break from the every day work of motherhood. My husband was secure enough to know that even though I would talk about them and even research them, I wasn't going to run out and put a down payment on one.
and then every once in a while we'll say, "you know what, we can squeeze in that dream".

Unfortunately the situation you describes is more like you are some ones mother not some one's wife and thats a different problem. disclaimer: I am in no way insinuating that is the way it works in your marriage.

You might dream, but you aren't a dreamer. You are very different from how the OP has described her husband. You and he are very different, and the things you said in your responses made me wonder if you had actually read what she wrote. He's NOT discussing it, he's NOT just ordering catalogs. He is actively looking at real estate listings. That's beyond just thinking of things. That's getting into scary territory.

He's not talking about it with her like you do with your husband. Very different.




I used to goof around with a friend's husband, dreaming of owning a tavern...I was dreaming...HE might have actually done it, without adequate savings, without a plan, without consulting with his wife. He was dangerous, I was not. His financial nonsense helped to end their marriage, because while he ever ought a bar, he did do other things with their money, and it scared her. Interestingly, he's a tax attorney, so you would think he would know better....





Land is only an investment if you are willing to sell it someday!

 

[MsPoppinsTX]

Thanks Bob NC, I wanted to say it but was just going to let it go. It's like prefacing an offensive statement by saying "with all due respect" but then saying something very disrespectful.

I know I have a great marriage and he is a wonderful and smart man and I don't need to explain that to anyone. Of course I wouldn't come out to my husband and say "I won't allow it," it was just part of my venting on a message board. I also don't think someone getting carried away with their dream and trying to make it a reality is reserved only for 12 year olds or someone that is "immature." Some people like to stir the pot.

My husband went up to his deer lease today to get it all ready for the upcoming hunting season. The BIL is really pushing the idea of land more so than DH because BIL doesn't have a lease to hunt on and has to "mooch" off other people. I'm being very encouraging of continuing in the deer lease for years to come!

 

[jennyopenny]

I feel your pain. When our twins were a couple of months old, my husband started looking at selling his suv and buying a used Porsche.

Who does that??

 

[Trae13]

I am surprised by the comments that a loan for land would require 20 - 50% down. I have always been told that you can not get a mortgage for land?

 

[scbelleatheart]

This post makes me sad for your mother. Your dad loved it, you apparently loved it, your mother sucked it up and got used to it. Not the kind of marriage I'd want. Hopefully it was just on this one issue and your dad did some "giving in" as well.

It wasn't a big issue. They celebrated their 60th anniversary last year. She grew up in a big city. Do not be sad for her. She is an amazing woman at age 80 who still teaches classes and volunteers several days a week at her favorite charities. My Mom kicks A** . I hope I can be just like her and have someone like my Dad who understands what keeps her going. She is a people person and he is a financial guru. Their marriage is one every person should aspire to have.